Funky stuff - part 35
Henry Cate VII
25 GOOD REASONS
WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN
1. YOU CAN ENJOY A BEER ALL MONTH LONG.
2. BEER STAINS WASH OUT.
3. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WINE AND DINE BEER.
4. YOUR BEER WILL ALWAYS WAIT PATIENTLY FOR YOU IN THE CAR WHILE
YOU PLAY FOOTBALL.
5. WHEN YOUR BEER GOES FLAT, YOU TOSS IT OUT.
6. BEER IS NEVER LATE.
7. A BEER DOESN'T GET JEALOUS WHEN YOU GRAB ANOTHER BEER.
8. HANGOVERS GO AWAY.
9. BEER LABELS COME OFF WITHOUT A FIGHT.
10. WHEN YOU GO TO A BAR, YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS PICK UP A BEER.
11. BEER NEVER HAS A HEADACHE.
12. AFTER YOU'VE HAD A BEER, THE BOTTLE IS STILL WORTH 5 CENTS.
13. A BEER WON'T GET UPSET IT YOU COME HOME AND HAVE ANOTHER BEER.
14. IF YOU POUR A BEER RIGHT, YOU'LL ALWAYS GET GOOD HEAD.
15. A BEER ALWAYS GOES DOWN EASY.
16. YOU CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE BEER IN A NIGHT AND NOT FEEL GUILTY.
17. YOU CAN SHARE A BEER WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
18. YOU ALWAYS KNOW YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE TO POP A BEER.
19. BEER IS ALWAYS WET.
20. BEER DOESN'T DEMAND EQUALITY.
21. YOU CAN HAVE A BEER IN PUBLIC.
22. A BEER DOESN'T CARE WHEN YOU COME.
23. A FRIGID BEER IS A GOOD BEER.
24. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WASH A BEER BEFORE IT TASTES GOOD.
25. IF YOU CHANGE BEERS YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ALIMONY.
------------------------------------------------------------
Ethnic A visits the hospital.
"I want to be castrated!" he demands cheerfully.
"Are you sure about this?" the doctor asks. "Have you discussed it
with your wife?"
"Yes, yes! I've thought about this for a long time. Let's get it over with!"
So, the operation is performed. Since it's relatively simple, ethnic A does
only have to stay for two days in the hospital. On his way home, he meets
another ethnic.
"Well, hello A! I haven't seen you for a couple of days." ethnic B
says, as they shake hands.
"No, I've been to the hospital."
"Well, that's funny. I'm on my way there right now!"
"Really? So, what's up?"
"I'm going to be vaccinated."
"Oh, shit! That's what it's called!"
------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a blind dinosaur ?
Imsureheneversaurus.
What do you call a sheep with no legs ?
A cloud.
------------------------------------------------------------
Mistress: something between master and mattress.
------------------------------------------------------------
Housewife: a gadget you screw on the bed.
------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Cate VII
---------------
(ucbvax!xerox.com!cate7.osbu_south) OR (cate7.os...@Xerox.Com)
Confidence: The feeling you have before you understand the situation.
Bill Crick
>Housewife: a gadget you screw on the bed,
to keep the house clean!
Bill Crick Coito, Ergo Sum!