Feb 16 Puns
Tim Bruening
Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
Overcast: Cloudy actors.
Tim Bruening
Awaking: King of Travel Agents.
Banking: Explosives expert.
Beacon: Buzzing criminal.
Biking: A gay monarch.
Braking: King of donkeys.
Cracking: Drug lord.
Flaking: Snow lord.
Hiking: Lord of the mountains.
Liable: Fibbing male cow.
Liking: Satan.
Tim Bruening
Content: Against camping.
Contrail: Against hiking.
Contour: Against French bicycle races.
Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
Protect: Favoring innovation.
Tim Bruening
Cuba: A line of sheep.
Cuban: To ban lines.
Tim Bruening
Cuba: Nation of sheep lines.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Thailand: Nation of neckwear.
Tim Bruening
Poland: Nation of opinion polls.
Poland: Nation of tall thin cylinders.
Please don't Sudan!
Suriname: A nation of knights who are called many things.
Tim Bruening
Oman, look at Bush's numbers fall.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Grenada: Nation of explosive Dads.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:403079DB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Baking: King Alfred.
nemo
> Concave: Against spelunking.
>
> Content: Against camping.
>
> Contrail: Against hiking.
>
> Contour: Against French bicycle races.
>
> Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
One of mine again!
>
> Protect: Favoring innovation.
Promotion: Hates standing still.
Greg Evans
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> Concave: Against spelunking.
>> Content: Against camping.
>> Contrail: Against hiking.
>> Contour: Against French bicycle races.
>> Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> One of mine again!
>> Protect: Favoring innovation.
>
> Promotion: Hates standing still.
Promotion: Glad to be moving ahead in his career.
nemo
> Bahamas: Laughing sheep mothers.
>
> Cuba: A line of sheep.
>
> Cuban: To ban lines.
Bahamas 2: Sadists who injure sheep.
BaHrain: Where it precipitates breathless sheep.
(The 'breathless' bit is there as a reminder that in Arabic, Hs within words
are fully pronounced.)
nemo
> Bahrain: The sheep rule.
>
> Cuba: Nation of sheep lines.]
Ramparts: Battlements built of sheep's genitalia. (^!^)
nemo
> Ukraine: I Kraine, Ukraine, He Kraines, etc.
Me Tarzan . . Ukraine!
The first pun I ever posed on here!!
nemo
> Thailand: A country that breaks even.
>
> Thailand: Nation of neckwear.
. . . and where mountaineers fall down cravatses
nemo
. . . . like at a doubtful Baptism: "Are you Surinamed 'im 'Fred'?"
Baptism: Where they feed a baby its first bread roll.
nemo
> Finland: Country of fish and marine mammals.
>
> Oman, look at Bush's numbers fall.
Waddayamean?? We're still waitin for his balls to fall!
Denmark: Indication on a map showing a lion's home.
nemo
> Parent nations: Canada, Burma, Panama, Rwanda.
One of those went bankrupt, and Rwanda economies of all the others.
nemo
> Will Kuwait for me?
Yes Oil well.
nemo
> A cat nation: St. Kitts And Nevis.
Nation where the workers behave themselves: Bossnear.
nemo
> Netherlands: Nation of asses and dykes.
They've got no native coal though. Still. Nether mined.
nemo
> Bahamas: Nation of sheep moms.
>
> Grenada: Nation of explosive Dads.
And rocks from England as described by Australians: Pommy Granites!
nemo
> Canada: Father of a can, and a friend of Panda (father of a pan).
Panama: Where any actress who plays a mother gets horribly vilified by the
critics!
nemo
> Pakistan: Nation of backpacks, kisses, and tans.
I thought it was a bloke called Stanley, hanging about in the cold!
nemo
> Iraq: Internet torture device.
Guys who operate same: Thumb's Crew.
nemo
> Timbuktu: I have a $2 bill.
. . . or you're a donkey who's just thrown two riders off!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Basic: Diseased body of water that offshoots from the ocean.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:403079E9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FCB0AC7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Goosing: Singing mud.
> > > >
> > > Easing: Better singing on the Internet
> > >
> > > Biasing: Shoppers singing.
> >
> > Fleecing: Singing wool.
>
> Pricing: Musical Crowbar.
Pricing: Singing costs.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307A1D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Subplot: Grave of a merman or mermaid.
>
> Vital Statistics of a Mermaid: 38 : 26 : 3/6d per pound.
Huh?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Commotion: Moving computer
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307BD0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Ascending: Rising bell.
> >
> > Descending: Falling bell.
>
> Hiding: Small bell.
>
> Loading: Large bell.
Bellow: Bell down there.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307D66...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Eden: A home for Internet lions
>
> Purgatory: What a laxative does to a Conservative!
No shit!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307F7E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Cooper: Price of a revolution.
> >
> > Copper: Price of a policeman.
> >
> > Flooper: Price of a cheap room.
> >
> > Hopper: Bunny price.
> >
> > Proper: Price per unit of equipment needed for plays.
>
> Chopper: Price per roughly hewn piece of Tim-ber.
Cropper: Price of harvested plants.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
I thought that Rwanda had made a killing!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:403079E9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Circulation: A library or spinning Knight.
Circus: A swearing Knight.
Sirloin: Knight of Sex.
Serpent: Snake Knight.
Servant: Plumping Knight.
Servile: Very Evil Knight.
Surface: Knight of many disguises.
Surmount: Very tall Knight.
Surprise: A knight in charge of game shows.
Surrender: The Knight of Destruction.
Surrender: Knight of Meat Processing.
Surround: Very fat Knight.
Surgeon: An operating Knight.
Surtax: Knight in charge of the IRS.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4030799A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Forecast: 4 actors.
> >
> > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
> >
> > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
>
> Send for the Okta-puss again!
Pussy: Ocean of cats.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307A11...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Comcast: Computerized actors.
> >
> > Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
>
> Arnie playing a gardener: The Germinator.
Also Arnold playing a doctor.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307AE4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Rumble: Druken male cow.
>
> Possible: Male cow being chased by a deputised group of armed cowboys.
Is he a Mad Cow?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
nemo
Do we need Stereo already?
nemo
nemo
Shouldn't have posted that one.
True: Terrible diarrhoea at the moment. No idea why. I always vote Labour!
Did have some Bombay Mix yesterday evening. Tasted OK though.
Excuse me. Earwig "O" again!
nemo
nemo
Servicing: Hymns.
And they get the chior to sing them in high voices by putting rubber bands
round their Canticles!
nemo
Greg Evans <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:1032hn0...@corp.supernews.com...
> >> Content: Against camping.
> >> Contrail: Against hiking.
> >> Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> >> Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > One of mine again!
> >> Protect: Favoring innovation.
> >
> > Promotion: Hates standing still.
>
>
Navel Commander being chased by Orange Submarines: Glad to be moving ahead
in his Carrier.
He was being chased by Orange Submarines because he'd bought Vodafone.
And a train driver got demoted when his career came off the rails!
nemo
A woman's vital statistics are usually something like 38 : 26 : 36, being
chest : waist : arse! Butt a Mermaid's arse is that of a fish, hence (many
years ago) 38 : 26 : three shillings and sixpence per pound, as in English
pre-decimule money at a fishmongers!
There. That didn't hurt . . . did it?
Tim Bruening
Baltics: Spherical parasites.
KGB: Buzzing insect that puts people in cages.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Confirm: Against corporations.
Confirm: Corrupt corporation.
Conflict: Against movies.
Confound: Escaped prisoner recaptured.
Confront: In favor of backwards sex.
Tim Bruening
Confusion: Against advanced nuclear reactors.
Congo: Wants to stay in one spot.
Congest: Against jokes.
Conjoin: Against sex.
Conquest: Against adventure.
Tim Bruening
Connote: Against writing things down.
Conserve: Against being in the military.
Consign: Against John Hancock.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Sublime: Underwater citrus fruit.
Tim Bruening
Embed: Bed shaped like the 13th letter.
Ember: Cold 13th letter.
David Wilkinson
> Economist: Rich fog.
>
or Cheap Fog
nemo
Circus: A Knight who uses foul language!
nemo
As the diver said - See above.
nemo
> Economist: Rich fog.
>
Econominestrone@ Cheap soup.
nemo
> Lyme Disease: Turns people into green citrus fruit.
>
> Sublime: Underwater citrus fruit.
>
erecting and makes foam come from out of the ends of 'em.
nemo
David Wilkinson <da...@quarksoft.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:c0vsv4$gjq$1...@news5.svr.pol.co.uk...
provide it for free.
A foggy day,
In London Town . .
St. Paul's Cathedral
Is upside down.
The Thames Embankment's
Somewhere round here . . . . .
Aaaaaaarrrghghghgh!!!!
(FX: SPLASH!!!)
nemo
> Embalm: 13th letter tree.
>
> Embed: Bed shaped like the 13th letter.
>
> Ember: Cold 13th letter.
>
nemo
> > > Forecast: 4 actors.
> > >
> > > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
> > >
> > > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
> >
> > Send for the Okta-puss again!
>
> Pussy: Ocean of cats.
>
Pussymonious: Ocean of just a few very cheap cats.
nemo
> > > Comcast: Computerized actors.
> > >
> > > Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
> >
> > Arnie playing a gardener: The Germinator.
>
> Also Arnold playing a doctor.
>
And after removing an elevation of the skin filled with serous fluid:
"Hasta la blister, baby!"
Milton J. Smuthworthy, I
So then "nemo" says to the bartender:
>Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>news:4031DC05...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>> > Arnie playing a gardener: The Germinator.
>> Also Arnold playing a doctor.
>
>And after removing an elevation of the skin filled with serous fluid:
>
>"Hasta la blister, baby!"
"Hasta Lumbago!" - Oh my aching back!
"Hasta Lamb Bagel" - Breakfast at the Hyatt Istanbul.
Think I'm kidding?
http://istanbul.regency.hyatt.com/istan/restaurants_02.html
Milt
nemo
Milton J. Smuthworthy, I <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> wrote in message
news:40375753$0$7816$45be...@newscene.com...
You'll get a clip round the ear 'ole. Hyatts are my staple dyett!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Surah: A knight ruling an Indian Kingdom.
Surat: Rodent knight that likes Indian cottons that have dark course
fibers and are made in Surat, India.
Surbate: Knight in a mouse trap or on a fishing hook.
Surcease: The knight stops.
Surcharge: Pricey knight.
Tim Bruening
Buster: Spinning mass transit vehicle.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Peract: Price of part of a play.
Percent: Price of a penny.
Perforate: Price of holes.
Permute: Price of silence.
Person: Price of a male kid.
Perspirate: Price of sweat.
Perspire: Price of the top of the church.
Permission: Price of the entire church.
Stormin Mormon
What to say to adress Lt. Tain.
--
Christopher A. Young
Join Alt-Hvac Moderated
A free, easy to use Yahoo! group
alt-hvac-...@yahoogroups.com
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4038AAA5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Tim Bruening
Baltics: Spherical parasites.
KGB: Buzzing insect that puts people in cages.
Glasnost: Easily broken nose.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
headdr
> Lyme Disease: Turns people into green citrus fruit.
>
> Sublime: Underwater citrus fruit.
>
But that's a good Pear.
And bananas have a peel for a lot of people and orange you glad.
nemo
>
> Sublime: Underwater citrus fruit.
Limies: Sailors who avoided Scurvey by eating citrus fruit but were insulted
by being called this by sailors who didn't avoid Scurvey coz they didn't
know about the citrus fruit!
Something wrong there . . .
nemo
headdr <tmac...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote in message
news:yd87c.282671$jH.39...@twister.tampabay.rr.com...
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307FFB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Bahamas: Laughing sheep mothers.
> >
> > Cuba: A line of sheep.
> >
> > Cuban: To ban lines.
>
> Bahamas 2: Sadists who injure sheep.
>
> BaHrain: Where it precipitates breathless sheep.
Bahamas: Sheep terrorists.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Casey: The ocean between Jacy (JC) and Ellsey (LC).
Krypton: Heavy secret.
Pepsi: A fizzy, uplifting sea.
Peptide: The result of the moon pulling on the Pepsi.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:3F22C582...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Betsy: An ocean casino.
> > >
> > > Krypton: Heavy secret.
> > >
> > Another inert gas: As Xenon TV.
> >
> > How to colour leather: Sulphur dye ox hide.
>
> Carbon: A sweet in an automobile.
>
> Helium: A gas that cures.
>
> How to make leather laugh: Nitrous Ox Hide.
Argon: Someone stole the letter between Q and S!