2/24 Puns
Tim Bruening
Beside: The bee next door.
Between: A bee with a bee on each side.
KGB: A locked up Russian bee .
Isolate: I'm sorry I'm tardy.
Tardy: A demon late to his road repairing job.
Tim Bruening
Barking: King of the lawyers.
Larking: King of comedy.
Parking: King of the golf course.
Tim Bruening
Michael Balarama wrote:
> A. One Scotland yard!
Glascow: A brittle bovine.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4237FADF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Jenni Saqua wrote:
> >
> > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote ...
> > > > On Tue, 10 Aug "Sheila Dundee" wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > > On Mon, 9 Aug 2004 11:45:56 +0930, "Sheila Dundee" found
these
> unused
> > > words floating
> > > > > > about:
> > > > > >
> > > > > >> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>> On Sun, 08 Aug 2004 13:18:00 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard" found
these
> > > unused words floating
> > > > > >>> about:
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>>> On Sun, 8 Aug 2004 15:30:20 +0930
> > > > > >>>> "Sheila Dundee" wrote:
> > > > > >>>>
> > > > > >>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>> On Sat, 7 Aug 2004 20:56:54 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
found
> these
> > > unused words floating
> > > > > >>>>>> about:
> > > > > >>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>> On Fri, 6 Aug 2004 12:44:25 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
found
> these
> > > unused words
> > > > > >floating>>>>>>> about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> On Thu, 5 Aug 2004 09:54:37 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
found
> > > these unused words
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> floating about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>> On Wed, 4 Aug 2004 14:29:59 +0930, "Sheila
Dundee"
> found
> > > these unused words
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>> floating about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> Michael Balarama wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Sheila Dundee" wrote ..
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Tue, 03 Aug 2004 18:03:37 GMT, David
Reihmer
> found
> > > these unused words
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> floating about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The noxious fumes bubbled and oozed from the
> surface
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> of Muhammad Ali (also known as Gaseous Clay)
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> He didn't planet, just happened when he
mooned us.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You shouldn't joke about giant stars like him!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You can telescopes badly with criticism.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> didn't they make a movie about that-
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> raiders of the Gaseous Clay
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> Sulphur so good!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> ( btw I lava good movie)
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>> Yeah, but you're still seeking Ol' Faithful.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> I am not interested in old geysers!!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> That is, not unless they come up with a sparkling
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> Yellowstone!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> Sigh ... that lets me out. Time to quit building my
"Hot
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> Springs">>>> ark.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>> Spouting off again I see! Steamy off group so we
don't
> > > > > >inter>>>>>>>> -erupt the others
> > > > > >>>>>>>>> by blowing our tops!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>> What Vesuvius what you get. Lava me or leave me!
> > > > > >>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>> I particularly lava your seis-Mc ! ;-)
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>> That Krakatoa me all I need to know ... <G>!
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>>> I just go with the flow!! <s>
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>> Just playing the fumarole?
> > > > > >>>>
> > > > > >>> Yeah ... she magma day!
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> I will vent my anger unless you caldera!!
> > > > > >>
> > > > > > I tried, but Dera wasn't home. Guess I Vulcan it for now.
> > > > >
> > > > > Don't be sill-y! That's a pipe dream!!
> > > > >
> > > > You two are too in-vent-ive for me. I think I'd better go
avalanche.
> > > >
> > > > Cybe R. Wizard -where's my coffee mag, Ma?
> > > > --
> > > Careful, she passed the boiling point quite a ways back...and I
think
> she's
> > > licensed to carry a basalt weapon~!
> >
> > Basalt: Sodium Clorine sheep.
>
> Aha! Sheep that drop their aitches! Ain't seen that for aitches
either!
>
> (It's Sodium Chloride, BTW)
>
> Chemist in a restuarant: "Where's your Sodium Chloride?"
Chemist: Dirty fog.
Tim Bruening
Sateen: Teenager on the 7th day of the week.
Sortable: Rising table, or to put male bovines in order.
Storable: To park a male bovine.
Stamen: Order to males to stay.
Tim Bruening
Amuser: One poet knight.
Bemuser: Buzzing insect poet knight.
Reverser: Backwards knight.
Tim Bruening
Crescent: Penny on the Moon.
Decent: Nice penny.
Dissent: Rebel penny.
Peasent: Penny on a farm.
Tim Bruening
Kathy wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40580DF3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Ebola: A nasty computer virus.
> >
> > Ebola: When computers bowl.
> >
> > Emote: A water barrier around a castile that feels your pain.
> >
> > Emote: A very small computer.
> >
> > Emotion: Electronic travel.
> >
> > Emotion: Very moving feelings.
>
> Elapse: Computer hang.
>
> Essential: Erotic pc.
>
> Event: Computer fan.
>
> Evasive: Old pc used to display flowers.
>
> Rambunctious: A memory stick displaying difficult behaviour.
Rambunctious: Male sheep displaying difficult behavior.
Difficult: Religious sect that's hard to get into.
Tim Bruening
headdr wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4058108E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Recent: A bad penny always returns.
Quiescent: A penny at rest.
Reminiscent: The penny remembers.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307005...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <MzNsb.107886$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> > > ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > >news:3FB326AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >> Subplot: Underwater farm.
> > > >>
> > > >Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret
> still!!)
> > > >
> > > >Subarid: Underwater desert.
> > > >Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> > > >Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.
> > > >
> > > Subcranial: less than lofty thoughts
> >
> > Subconscious: Aware underwater.
>
> Subclass: In a school's cellar.
>
> Subdolous: Under a US bank vault.
>
> Subduct: A pair of skinny legs with webbed feets!
Subrange: Where sea cows and sea horses graze.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Substrate: Heterosexual mermaid or merman.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Subminister: Person in charge of the Underwater Department.
Submiss: Mermaid.
Submilitary: Includes Sub Marines with Submachine guns, water pistols,
water cannon, and Fish tanks.
MÐ
Farting: Chinese marathon runner.
nemo
Pharmaceuticals: Drugs that make litigious agriculturalists itch.
nemo
Accordion to Bing Crosby, thats Homehomeontherange.
nemo
Strates of Jibwroughter:
Sea channel which goes past a company which, while playing the
three-card-trick, manufactures the big long tall bits at the fronts of
cranes from what of dangles the hooks dangles down from on steal cables.
(They also have a pirate connection to the local TV distribution company.
His names Long John Silver - after the underwear he wears.)
nemo
Pistol: Sum of money that admits you to a urinal.
Urinal: Toilet for female sheep.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
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Tim Bruening
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Tim Bruening
nemo
>
> Barking: King of the lawyers.
>
> Larking: King of comedy.
>
> Parking: King of the golf course.
>
nemo
>
> nemo wrote:
<snipule>
>
> > Aha! Sheep that drop their aitches! Ain't seen that for aitches
> either!
> >
> > (It's Sodium Chloride, BTW)
> >
> > Chemist in a restuarant: "Where's your Sodium Chloride?"
Waiter: "It hide in little pot in front of you with hole in top!"
>
> Chemist: Dirty fog.
>
Pharmacist: A Macist a long way away.
nemo
Give em all a strong Diuretic and they'll Pistil the cows come home!
nemo
Scientodgerlists: Same as Scientologists except they practice circumcision.
http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/todger?view=uk
nemo
Or the smell of the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers.
Still haven't found out why on earth Kylie Minogue joined up!
(Similar to your CBs)
nemo
nemo
Substrait: A distinguishing feature of a U-Boat's personal nature - like its
determination to sink our convoys!!
nemo
Whose fish stank?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307005...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <MzNsb.107886$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> > > ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > >news:3FB326AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >> Subplot: Underwater farm.
> > > >>
> > > >Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret
> still!!)
> > > >
> > > >Subarid: Underwater desert.
> > > >Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> > > >Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.
> > > >
> > > Subcranial: less than lofty thoughts
> >
> > Subconscious: Aware underwater.
>
> Subclass: In a school's cellar.
>
> Subdolous: Under a US bank vault.
>
> Subduct: A pair of skinny legs with webbed feets!
Substrate: Heterosexual mermaid or merman.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Subrange: Where sea cows and sea horses graze.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4237FADF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Jenni Saqua wrote:
> >
> > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote ...
> > > > On Tue, 10 Aug "Sheila Dundee" wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > > On Mon, 9 Aug 2004 11:45:56 +0930, "Sheila Dundee" found
these
> unused
> > > words floating
> > > > > > about:
> > > > > >
> > > > > >> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>> On Sun, 08 Aug 2004 13:18:00 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard" found
these
> > > unused words floating
> > > > > >>> about:
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>>> On Sun, 8 Aug 2004 15:30:20 +0930
> > > > > >>>> "Sheila Dundee" wrote:
> > > > > >>>>
> > > > > >>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>> On Sat, 7 Aug 2004 20:56:54 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
found
> these
> > > unused words floating
> > > > > >>>>>> about:
> > > > > >>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>> On Fri, 6 Aug 2004 12:44:25 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
found
> these
> > > unused words
> > > > > >floating>>>>>>> about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> On Thu, 5 Aug 2004 09:54:37 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
found
> > > these unused words
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> floating about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>> On Wed, 4 Aug 2004 14:29:59 +0930, "Sheila
Dundee"
> found
> > > these unused words
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>> floating about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> Michael Balarama wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Sheila Dundee" wrote ..
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Tue, 03 Aug 2004 18:03:37 GMT, David
Reihmer
> found
> > > these unused words
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> floating about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The noxious fumes bubbled and oozed from the
> surface
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> of Muhammad Ali (also known as Gaseous Clay)
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> He didn't planet, just happened when he
mooned us.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You shouldn't joke about giant stars like him!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You can telescopes badly with criticism.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> didn't they make a movie about that-
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> raiders of the Gaseous Clay
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> Sulphur so good!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> ( btw I lava good movie)
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>> Yeah, but you're still seeking Ol' Faithful.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> I am not interested in old geysers!!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> That is, not unless they come up with a sparkling
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> Yellowstone!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> Sigh ... that lets me out. Time to quit building my
"Hot
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> Springs">>>> ark.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>> Spouting off again I see! Steamy off group so we
don't
> > > > > >inter>>>>>>>> -erupt the others
> > > > > >>>>>>>>> by blowing our tops!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>> What Vesuvius what you get. Lava me or leave me!
> > > > > >>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>> I particularly lava your seis-Mc ! ;-)
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>> That Krakatoa me all I need to know ... <G>!
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>>> I just go with the flow!! <s>
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>> Just playing the fumarole?
> > > > > >>>>
> > > > > >>> Yeah ... she magma day!
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> I will vent my anger unless you caldera!!
> > > > > >>
> > > > > > I tried, but Dera wasn't home. Guess I Vulcan it for now.
> > > > >
> > > > > Don't be sill-y! That's a pipe dream!!
> > > > >
> > > > You two are too in-vent-ive for me. I think I'd better go
avalanche.
> > > >
> > > > Cybe R. Wizard -where's my coffee mag, Ma?
> > > > --
> > > Careful, she passed the boiling point quite a ways back...and I
think
> she's
> > > licensed to carry a basalt weapon~!
> >
> > Basalt: Sodium Clorine sheep.
>
> Aha! Sheep that drop their aitches! Ain't seen that for aitches
either!
>
> (It's Sodium Chloride, BTW)
>
> Chemist in a restuarant: "Where's your Sodium Chloride?"
Chemist: Dirty fog.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
CD: Unkempt, tired, sick, unwell, disreputable and squalid and unlucky!
DC: Ocean of politicians.
EC: Electronic ocean.
ET: A most politically incorrect way of describing a Chinese meal.
FCC: Ocean of communications regulators.
Tim Bruening
GP: Horse piddle.
LP: A similarly politically incorrect way of describing a Chinese person
crying out for assistance.
MC: Ocean of ceremonies.
PC: Ocean of urine.
PC: Ocean of computers.
Tim Bruening
RC: Our ocean.
TC: Ocean of tea.
UC: University in the ocean.
WC: Ocean of toilets.
Tim Bruening
Helmet: Glove of the Devil.
Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.
Satan: Tan of the Devil.
Tim Bruening
Sinbad: What Saddam Hussein did.
Star Wars: Fist fights between actors.
ET: An alien drink.
Lord of the Rings: Telemarketers.
Tim Bruening
Galatic: A very big tic.
The trees are beginning to move. I can see them packing their trunks.
Tim Bruening
Andromeda: Father of a galaxy.
Milky Way: A galaxy that goes moo.
Planet: A net used to fish for plans.
Over 100 planets have been found outside our solar system in the past
few years.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
headdr wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:405810F0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Overcast: He hurled the fishing rod out too far.
> >
> > Overcast: A play in the sky.
> >
> > Ironcast: A play involving The Stainless Steel Rat (Harry Harrison).
> >
> >
> Broadcast: Tossed her into the river.
> Castigate: Threw the entrance into the road.
> Instigate: Threw it very fast.
> Castor oil: Threw out her make-up. (Tammy Fay)
> Lubricate: Getting Cate oiled.
Casting: Tossed the bell into the river.
Tim Bruening
headdr wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4058108E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43F97E36...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Harry Farkas wrote:
> >
> > "Doctor, ye gotta help me," Paddy said.
> >
> > "What is it that be troublin' you, son," replied the doctor.
> >
> > "Aye, Doctor, I'm feeling fit as a fiddle most o' the time, but every
> > night
> > there is a commotion under me bed covers. There's screaming and
> > caterwauling, then these winged beasts, terrible creatures with the
> > heads of
> > women, fly out from between me legs. It's makin' me mad, I tell ye,"
> > Paddy
> > cried.
> >
> > "Oh Paddy," the doctor said. "Ye got yerself a case of genital
> > harpies."
> >
> > Parrot Medics: Bird EMTs.
> >
> > EMT: Beverage drunk by doctors who provide first aid.
> >
> > First Aid Kits: Cat doctors.
>
> EMP: An elected politician destroyed by Anna Tom Mick bomb!
Explosive letters, A Bomb, C4, H Bomb:
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43D73133...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Cupra wrote:
> >
> > > "Roy Johnson" <jo...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
> news:be0ip6$pdc$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...
> > > | David wasn't sure about his new number for Real Madrid until it was
> > > | explained to him
> > > | that 2+3 does in fact equal 7.
> > > | http://www.biddulph.u-net.com/pubjokes
> > > |
> > > | Roy
> > > |
> > >
> > > an old one found on football ng:
> > >
> > > Mr & Mrs B have just got back from their whirlwind tour of the US, and
> > > hop into a waiting limousine for the journey back to Beckingham Palace.
> > > The driver asks how the trip went.
> > >
> > > "Great," says David. "We had a great time in New York. We went to the
> > > Empire State Building, Central Park and this great restaurant. Oh...
> > > what was it called." He thinks for a moment before quizzing the driver:
> > >
> > > "Name a train station in London."
> > > "Er.. Paddington?"
> > > "No, that's not it."
> > > "Waterloo?"
> > > "No..."
> > > "Victoria?"
> > > "That's it!" He turns to his wife. "Victoria, what was the name of
> > > that restaurant in New York we went to?"
> >
> > Paddington: a 2,000 pound cushion.
> >
> > Steel Wool: Comes from iron sheep.
> >
> > Rooster: Spinning kangaroo.
>
> (true)
> Izambard Kingdom Brunel used to have offices built into the roof of his
> Paddington railway terminus.
Padding: Musical bed?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Roomer: Kangaroo ocean.
Rooming: Kangaroo vase.
nemo
I bet they did'narf scream when they had patterns printed on em in
photo-resist and were stuffed into ovens a number of times where various
metals were evaporated so that they'd diffuse into them!
That's the fishy way to make silicon chips!
nemo
The Reverend Spooner thought 'TISH!-Fanks' was people heard after someone
said Gezundheit or bless you just after you'd sneezed.
Of course, if you'd just shot a teyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrst dead by pointing
the right end of an Uzi at him and pulling the trigger, they'd probably say
Muzzle Tov!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Silly Con?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
headdr wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4058108E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307005...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <MzNsb.107886$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> > > ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > >news:3FB326AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >> Subplot: Underwater farm.
> > > >>
> > > >Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret
> still!!)
> > > >
> > > >Subarid: Underwater desert.
> > > >Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> > > >Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.
> > > >
> > > Subcranial: less than lofty thoughts
> >
> > Subconscious: Aware underwater.
>
> Subclass: In a school's cellar.
>
> Subdolous: Under a US bank vault.
>
> Subduct: A pair of skinny legs with webbed feets!
Subrange: Where sea cows and sea horses graze.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Substrate: Heterosexual mermaid or merman.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Subminister: Person in charge of the Underwater Department.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:450CB357...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Closing: Song of shutting down.
> >
> > Minimizing: Shrinking song.
> >
> > Reminiscing: The song "Thanks for the memories".
> >
> > Rising: Song of ascending grain.
> >
> > Seizing: A taking song.
> >
> > Sizing: A measuring song.
> >
> > Stressing: Song of emphasis.
> >
> > Teasing: Singing beverage.
> >
> > Tossing: Salad making song.
> >
> > Tossing: Throwing song.
> >
> > Tracing: Song of an investigator.
> >
> > Washing: Wet song.
>
> Laundry: Well get the hose out and water it then!
Man-Nick: A crazy man with energy.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:450CB56F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:439B6054...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > P Stashio Nutz wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > In article <20040805194650.38da2fe4@WizardsTower>, "Cybe R.
Wizard"
> > > > > <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> writes:
> > > > >
> > > > > >On Fri, 06 Aug 2004 00:24:11 GMT
> > > > > >"KIMEVANS" <kime...@bigpond.com> wrote:
> > > > > >> "startum" <sta...@anonymizer.com> wrote in message
> > > > > >> news:aKrQc.11312$Ri5....@sea-read.news.verio.net...
> > > > > > > "Harry Marmoset" <harry_m...@msn.com> wrote in message
> > > > > >> >
news:Xns953C5887CD548h...@209.25.157.130...
> > > > > Hear about the hand gun exhibitionist?
> > > > >
> > > > > He was showing everyone his Glock
> > > >
> > > > Glocker: Gun dog.
> > >
> > > And don't forget - a Glock is not a Chimepiece.
> > >
> > > Chimepanzees: Ringing apes.
> >
> > Chimpanzee: Zombie ape.
>
> Chim Panz Alley: Street in London where songs for highly intelligent
apes
> are published.
>
> So that's not pop music then. Pop music appeals to highly
unintelligent
> apes!
Pop Fly: A levitating dad.
Levitator: Rising potato.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:450B6B2C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:44191E62...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> > > > > news:cagfrvsjj17s3likg...@4ax.com...
> > > > > > On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 15:26:46 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard"
> > > > > > <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> found these unused words
floating
> > about:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > >On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 20:49:01 +1030
> > > > > > >"Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > > > > > >> > After X-ray, the doctor asked me: "Has anyone ever told
you
> > that
> > > you
> > > > > > >> > have a 13th set of ribs?"
> > > > > > >> > "I haven't heard Adam thing." I said.
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >> I hope you gave the idiot the old Eve ho!!
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >I'm sure that Eden even think of it.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > I'd raise cain, if I were able.
> > > > >
> > > > > "Thou shalt not steal!"
> > > >
> > > > Noah: To b-n the 1st letter.
> > >
> > > I thought Alef the 1st. letter to you.
> >
> > F Off: To banish the letter between E and G.
> >
> Banish: Someone from Banmark.
Yuban: To ban the letter between T and V.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:450BA49E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Stan Kegel wrote:
> >
> > > SPECIALTY PUNS OF THE WEAK 01-19-05
> > >
> > > Calamity: What bivalve mollusks rest their golf balls on (Cynthia
> > MacGregor)
> >
> > Their gloves?
> >
> > Calamity: Gloves that cause disasters.
> >
> > > Contradicted: Describes a woman spurning a man's sexual advances.
(Gary
> > > Hallock)
> >
> > Contradict: Penises of Nicaraguan rebels in the 1980s.
> >
> > > Petrie Dish: Mary Tyler Moore about 35 years ago.
> >
> > Petrie: Tree that urinates or grows peas.
> >
> > > Denominator: One who puts a candidate's name into the ring (Stan
Kegel)
> >
> > Denomination: What John Kerry wishes he hadn't accepted.
> >
> > > Shampoo: That's not Winnie. That's a SHAMPOO. (Stan Kegel)
> >
> > Simba: Fake sheep.
> >
> > Simmer: Fake ocean.
> >
> > Simpson: Fake male offspring.
>
> What Marge first thought of her husband-to-bee when she first saw him:
Homer
> Sexual!
Marge Gin: How Homer's wife gets drunk?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:450BA4AB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:43016E77...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Why should we free daily cartoons?
> > > > >
> > > > > Are they being imprisoned against their will?
> > > >
> > > > Yes, in musical cars.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Like Bunn's Buggy?
> >
> > A Car-Bon?
>
> Come on. Let's show a little popeyety please!
Pop Music: Father of music.
Pop Fly: Father of an insect.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:439939AC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Parlance: What a golf course knight uses.
> >
> > Parlay: Sex on the golf course.
> >
> > Partake: To steal a golf course.
> >
> > Parted: Ted on the golf course.
> >
> > Party: Tea on the golf course.
>
> Just think - If it had been an Immaculate Contraception, we wouldn't
have
> all this fuss around December 25th. - except perhaps in knicker rag
ewer.
>
> Annunciation: A sister in holy orders looking at a gentleman from
India.
>
> Annancyation: A young gay gentleman from India.
Antiphon: Ant giving the opening prayer.
Tim Bruening
sorehi...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Find your spank buddy!
>
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MINNESOTA_SPANK_BUDDIES/
Buddy: Friendly flowering demon.
Tim Bruening
Bill Colmers wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote in message
> news:i8M9e.124909$Nr5.1...@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
> > If a woman turns around suddenly and her bazoom knocks your head
> off, have
> > you been D-cupitated?
>
> Laddy, that is the most truly witty, unconvoluted pun I've heard from
> you in
> many a posting!
Laddy: Demon kid.
Surrealism: Knight of weird paintings.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4264AD5F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > CT: An antimatter drink.
> >
> > dBase: A demon who knows ancient computer languages.
> >
> > DOS: Demon Operating System.
> >
> > DT: Demonic tea.
> >
> > ET: Alien tea.
>
> Extraterrestrial residential clinic for the severely depressed: E.T.
> Moan
> Home.
Clamper: Price of a clam.
DDT: Demon that poisons mosquitos and other animals.
Recycle: To go by bike again.
Psychopath: Trail for crazy bikes.
Tim Bruening
Astern: Rear end of a donkey.
Aspen: Donkey writing instrument.
Anneal: Ann get down on your knees!
Arable: Male bovine in the Middle East.
Arable: Male bovine farmer.
Arise: One erection.
Arose: One red flower with thorns.
Astray: One homeless pet.
Asteroid: One performance enhancing drug.
Astir: One jail or mixing bowl.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:450E2D3A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:450B8FDC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Krackow: A broken bovine.
> > > >
> > > > Krackow: Bovine on drugs.
> > > >
> > > > Mosey: More ocean.
> > > >
> > > > Newsy: Young ocean.
> > > >
> > > > Newsy: Information ocean.
> > >
> > > South Hendon Sea: A new location for the famous Essex resort because of
> the
> > > sea level rising due to Globule Warning!
> >
> > S Sex?
>
> Yup. Short for East Saxony - with three cutlasses on its shield - Seaxes.
>
> The pun was South Hendon Sea : Southend on Sea, but that doesn't really
> matter, does it?
Hendon: Leader of the Chicken Mafia!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:450E2D06...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:450B6B2C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> Queban: To stop filthy capitalists waiting in line to get on boats to
> smuggle themselves into nice Mr Castro's country and reverse all the
> horrendously evil changes he's made, like teaching everyone how to read and
> write and giving them bits of land!
Noah: A Ban.
Begone: B Ban.
Noisy: C Ban.
Debar: D Ban.
Ego: E Ban.
nemo
>
> Barking: King of the lawyers.
>
> Larking: King of comedy.
>
> Parking: King of the golf course.
Traffic Warriors: Used to be London's kings of the Parking and part of the
Metropolitan Pleece Civil Staff - except when drivers got really rude - then
they weren't quite so Civil!!
They got cheap and nasty 'parking attendants' now, run by cowboy private
companies and hired by the local councils to rake in as much money as
possible and sod the Law. They don't know what they're F-ing-well doing and
most of the tickets they issue are illegal - and some of them look more like
tramps**! (The attendants not the tickets.)
(**Oboes to you!)
nemo
Pistil: The result of alcoholic poisoning!
The root-cause of all these flower puns stems from a bunch of leaves at the
bottom.
nemo
Native American waiter: Him hide behind tree!
>
> Chemist: Dirty fog.
Like this?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_smog
I remember this - and there were many of them, not just one.
You really couldn't see your hand in front of your face, your eyes stung and
the very air tasted of sulphuric acid - all because everyone burned coal in
those days. And a couple of times, it became as dark as night in the middle
of the day when the clouds of smog rose up and blotted out the sun.
nemo
>
> Amuser: One poet knight.
>
> Bemuser: Buzzing insect poet knight.
>
> Reverser: Backwards knight.
Those kniggits had to be very careful of their orses-arses!
Sermon: Religious knight who collected Japanese family name badges.
nemo
Sentimental: The memories have driven it mad.
nemo
Subcultaneous: A religious sect that really gets under your skin!
Owzat!
nemo
And the lowliest of all the peasants had a terrible time. Everybody used to
walk past and peon him!
nemo
Or a rising pair of canvas trousers!
Or a bloke who looks like he's got a spud in his trousers like Errol Fling -
the well known actor and hammer-thrower!!
nemo
Man-Nick-Deep-Recession: A bloke depressed because he's been made
redungdent, his house has been reposessed - the ghosts have moved back in -
and his savings are now worthless!
All started by your bloomin housing market going into melt-down! Yoo ain't
got a bear market over there anymore. Yoo got a bare market!
nemo
Sea horses don't graze. They suck in plankton. You know - very heavy slabs
of wood!
And it's masochists who seek owwws!
nemo
Super Heterodyne: A really excellent straight radio engineer having his
lunch.
nemo
Milly, tarry: A Scotsman asking a girl to remain.
nemo
Sounds like she's right on the edge of becoming an alcoholic.
No chance with me. I'm not allowed any booze anymore. Doctor Zardos.
(I'll get a laugh with that if it kills me. Zardos is a highly surreal film
with Sean Colony getting an erection and Charlotte Rampling about all over
the place and a big stone *head* that comes down and steals all the
peasants' harvest! A good representation of Capita-lism really!!!)
nemo
Blowfly: A boxing insect.
Stag Beetle: A randy insect.
nemo
You could ban most of the programmes on the T and V and not many people
would complain! It's dire over here, and probably direr over there with ads
every ten minutes!
nemo
But can he spare a Dime - that is the question. It could get that bad.