Life 6.M
Henry CateIII
Date: 8 Oct 90 18:19:59 PDT (Monday)
Subject: Life 6.M
----------------------------------------------------
SEND YOUR CHILD TO MED SCHOOL AND SUPPORT
THE LAW PROFESSION
----------------------------------------------------
I'm proud of how many kids I've put through college.....
We have my dentist's kids, and of course my lawyer's kids....
----------------------------------------------------
Max Falstein describing the Australian Parliament:-
This must be the only asylum in the world where the inmates are in charge!
----------------------------------------------------
My neighborhood is so tough...
last week I was held up by a guy with a bitten-off shotgun.
----------------------------------------------------
No doubt you've heard the Navy joke that there are only two kinds of ships:
Submarines and Targets.
----------------------------------------------------
Join in the new game that's sweeping the country. It's called "Bureaucracy".
Everybody stands in a circle. The first person to do anything loses.
----------------------------------------------------
"On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to
put a check mark about three inches away."
--Tom Lehrer, 4/4/90
----------------------------------------------------
Tom Lehrer: "By the time Mozart was my age, he....
...had been dead for two years."
----------------------------------------------------
My wife saw these in the current _Business and Finance_ so maybe they're
not that new. (USA readers substitute `Yugo' for `Lada')...
Q. What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User's Manual?
A. The bus and train timetables.
Q. What do you call a Lada on a hill?
A. A bloody miracle.
----------------------------------------------------
A little boy is leaving school at the end of the day. As he strolls along the
sidewalk, a car pulls up to the curb, and a man winds down the window.
"Hey, kid, I've got candy in my car. Hop in and I'll give it to you."
"No. I'm not going to." The boy walks on. Further down the road, the car
pulls over again.
"Hey there kid, if you get in my car, I'll give you all this candy, and a big
bottle of cola. How about it ?"
"No way ! Now leave me alone !" The boy walks on, quickening his pace. The
car again pulls over beside him.
"Look, kid, I've got a puppy at home you'd love to see. Get in and I'll take
you there. You can have all the candy and the cola on the way. What d'you
say to that ?"
The boy is getting agitated. He stops walking, and leans down to the car
window.
"Look, I don't care what you promise me Dad, I'm NOT riding in your Lada !"
----------------------------------------------------
A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing
my own hidden secrets) and Psalms 52:3-4 (lie's and deceit), a
man wrote the following letter to the IRS.
"I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have
cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income,
and have enclosed a check for $150.00.
If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest".
----------------------------------------------------
Ziggy's of Hudson, a restaurant
on Lowell road, Hudson, NH,
has a large message board in front.
The latest message had been:
"temperature inside"
"68 degrees"
--------------------
after the fire destroyed their kitchen early this week,
the message now reads:
"temperature inside"
"860 degrees"
----------------------------------------------------
Tom and Jack are on an expedition to the center of Africa,
when they are suddenly surrounded by a group of small,
painted, evil-looking natives.
Tom says, "We have nothing to fear. See me get us out
of this one!"
So he approaches the one that is wearing the fancy feathers -
obviously the chief, and, reaching into his poscket, pulls
out a bic lighter. He makes sure that he has the chief's
undivided attention and "flicks" it on.
Well, the chief is suprised! He turns to one of the elders
and says, "Look at that! It lit the first time!!!"
----------------------------------------------------
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
(Aesop)
----------------------------------------------------
One of my favorite stories comes from when I was the assitant manager at
a computer lab at school. I got a call from a secratary upstairs who said
that she couldn't get a file off a floppy disk which had an important
report on it. Well, I went upstairs to try to figure out what was wrong.
Sure enough the floppy was bad. I asked her a number of questions to try
to figure out what had happened. After a bit I found the source of the
problem. She had stapled the floppy to the report when she had handed it in!
I was very proud of myself that I didn't bust up laughing until I got out
of the room.
----------------------------------------------------
Floating around at CRAY Reasearch:
Minn. (UPI) - Analysts for the long-awaited,
and much-heralded CRAY-7 SuperSuperSuperComputer
met today in Minneapolis to discuss telecommunica-
tion issues for the new machine. The CRAY-7,
scheduled for delivery early next year, features a
6.5 psec(picosecond) cycle time on each of its
4096 processors, which share a 64 Kbank memory,
each bank to hold 256 Gigawords of 128 bits each.
CRAY Research has announced that the CRAY-7 will
be cooled by submerging the entire 2.4 cubic inch
spherical mainframe in the ice-moon Io, off the
southern coast of Saturn. When operational under
the MULTI-CUE(TM) Operating System, the CRAY-7
will simultaneously support interactive access for
every man woman and child on Earth with guaranteed
response time of 14.5 msec(microsecond) or better,
while running real work on its 4094 background
processors. Power for the new system will be ob-
tained by running a drop cord from Io to well in-
side the orbit of Mercury, where the intensity if
the Solar flares can be converted to HyperElectri-
city. The Rings of Saturn will act as a secondary
storage device (a.k.a. Rotating Mass Storage) for
the CRAY-7.
It is reported that much of the CRAY-7 CPU-
time will be devoted to the design of the CRAY-10.
----------------------------------------------------
Al : Before we eat lets bless this food.
Sam, would you like to say grace for us ?
Sam : Sure thing Al.
[ momentary pause ]
Grace.
Al : Ahmen.
----------------------------------------------------
How to get rid of Jehovah Witnesses:
My solution:
A chalk outline of a human body on the sidewalk, and
a few copies of _The Watchtower_ scattered around...
----------------------------------------------------
>"Answer the door with an automatic weapon and say 'Allah be
>Praised!!!' and just see what happens."
Automatic weapons are undeniably the best deterrent to Witnesses. For
extra effect, fire a few rounds into the air or towards their car.
Pretend you hear a voice inside your head telling you to kill the
witness. Guaranteed to stop future visits for several years.
----------------------------------------------------
The young couple came to my door. I was wearing my robe, and had just
awakened. now let me explain, I am a very unusual looking person
anyway, but when I awake, I look like some kind of movie monster, I have
hair all over everywhere. I made my eyes real piercing, and stared past
them. I knew who they were, you can tell, they look so cute in their
getup and their bland faces.
Well the female one obviously is supposed to do the introduction because
she sort of panicked, and said:
"We're...we're...we're..we're....we're...."
And then she staired helplessly at the other one and he said:
"uh... uh.... uh... uh..."
I then did a really fierce grin and stuck out my hand in a very fast
gesture, and opened all my fingers, and in a voice sort of a mixture
between peter lore and lurch, I said:
I...WILL...TAKE...YOUR...LITERATURE...AND...GIVE...IT...TO...MY...MASTER.
The male one quickly handed me a copy of whatever rag they were
peddling. they did not ask for a donation.
They ran.
it's a true story, and they never came back.
----------------------------------------------------
A FOAF claims that when Jehovah's Witlesses knock on her door,
her first response is to ask for their address. When they ask why
she wants to know, she says it is so she can visit them to
push her beliefs. So far, none of them have given their address.
It also marks the end of the interview. SLAM!
----------------------------------------------------
JW ladies come to the door. One of them has small child in tow. Interrupts
SIW's dinner. If you knew SIW like I knew SIW, you wouldn't do that.
SIW: Thank you, but I already have a religion.
JW: May I ask what it is?
SIW: I'd really rather not say. {Pregnant pause} I'm not sure if it's
legal in this country.
Supposedly they gave her a real strange look on their way back down the stairs.
----------------------------------------------------
A guy goes up to my friend's friend and asks, "Can I talk to you about
God?" She says, "Sure, what would you like to know?".
I like it.
----------------------------------------------------
A father and son were in deep discussion about the origin of mankind.
Son: "Our teacher says we are from gurilla's race."
Father (denyingly responds): "Well, you might be (from the gurillas' race). But I am NOT."
----------------------------------------------------
In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife.
[sound effect: Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex]
But this method doesn't work with a telephone call...
[sound effect: dial tone]
Introducing the all-new GINSU answering machine! It cuts, it chops,
it slices, it dices your incoming calls! How much would you pay?
Don't answer, because if you leave your name and number when you
hear the tone, we'll throw in a return phone call ABSOLUTELY FREE!
----------------------------------------------------
"Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead
reached..." [YA-DAAAAAAAAA!] "...the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name
and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can."
----------------------------------------------------
[Theme from "Indiana Jones" in the background.]
You've reached the residence of John and Tom. We can't
come to the phone right now, because we're cleaning the
refrigerator. Please leave your name and number, and
we'll get back to you.
[Theme from "Indiana Jones" continues until the beep.]
----------------------------------------------------
"I'm writing the definative work on pain, and I would like you
to tell me how the machine makes you feel. Remember, be honest. This
is for posterity."
----------------------------------------------------
The message I currently have on my recorder is the output from my Amiga's
speech sythesizer. It's set up as a dialog between two distict, but
recognizably artificial voices. I thought it sort of mediocre myself, but
have gotten quite a number of amused comments about it.
-----
1> Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.
2> Yeah, nobody but us machines!
1> Right, just us machines, but don't hang up! If you like, you can leave
your name and telephone number...
2> ...and a message! You forgot about the message!
1> Right. Leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message after you
hear the beep, and we will keep track of this stuff until the real people
get back.
2> ...unless of course, sombody pulls out our plug!
----------------------------------------------------
They say I am wishy washy but I can't decide if they're right.
They say I am violent, but they won't be saying anything again.
They say I'm opinionated, but they're always wrong.
They say I'm tall but no one ever says it looking me in the eye.
They say I'm a dwarf but that is over my head.
They say I'm fat but I can't see the scale to tell.
They say I'm something, but I can't remember what.
They say I drive too fast, but no one has ever been able to give me a ticket.
They say I drive slow, but the truck in back keeps pushing me faster.
They say I'm a bad driver, but no one ever lived to tell otherwise.
They say my car gets bad mileage, but I can't leave the gas station long enough to find out.
Thay sa iumm e bat spaler bit thay donut no wet wurds eyed doon wrung.
They say I'm wealthy but I can't afford the time to find out.
They say I'm poor, but I can't afford a pencil to add it up with.
T.h.e.y. s.a.y. I. r.e.a.d. s.l.o.w., b.u.t. I f.e.l.l. a.s.l.e.e.p. b.e.f.o.r.e. I. f.i.n.i.s.h.e.d. t.h.e. r.e.p.o.r.t.
They say I don't tell the truth but I think they're all liars.
They say I'm dishonest but I never spent any money before I stole it.
They say I'm a poor businessman, but my investments just went broke before they had a chance to make a profit.
They say us politicians are overbearing, I think the little people better get back to work so they can pay their tax increases.
They say politicians take bribes, I say we need to see how serious our constituents are about our votes before we sell them.
They say us Doctors are hypocrites, but no Doctor will agree who still has a medical license.
They say us Lawyers are greedy, and for a fee I'll take either side of the issue.
They say me ain't has none too good a grammar, but snobs is them all.
They say my propensity to elucidate the contextual significance and archetypical substructures of transient phenomena obfuscates the informational content of my communications. You would not recognize any substantive basis for such a derogatory pronouncement would you?
They say I'm antisocial, no wonder I don't like anybody.
----------------------------------------------------
[ First, a little explanation: Switzerland is divided into so-called
Kantons which are similar to -- but of course much smaller than -- your
concept of states. One such "state" is the state of Appenzell whose
inhabitants have a reputation of both being of a small build and being
fairly witty.]
A farmer from Texas visits a farmer in Appenzell. The Appenzell farmer,
playing the amiable host, shows the Texan around. Upon seing the farm
house, the Texan exclaims: "Gee, my farm house is much bigger. Even my
dog's hut is larger than your farm house." Of course, things go on like
that for a while, until the Texan farmer boasts: "In fact, it takes me
two days to drive around the perimeter of all of my possessings." The
Appenzell farmer sucks pensively on his pipe [they always do that] and
replies: "Yeah, I know. I used to own a car like that myself!"
Ericka Hansen
Remember, the correct term for female is "Woperone."
(Woman is sexist. Instead of "man," say "person."
^^^
But "Woperson" is sexist. Replace "son" with "one.")
^^^
I _think_ I first heard that from an Antioch college alumni...
======================================================================
| /\\ ____ ,^^o, Ericka Hansen "Brother, can you |
| ``-,' `-';~" Gainesville, FL, USA Paradigm?" |
| .',-'~ ../' E-mail address: -- Prof. Stockton |
| `^^ ^^ u353...@elm.circa.ufl.edu U of M |
++====================================================================
Hans-Henrik Ohlsen
-> farmer,
Just for clarity, are you aware that Appenzell is the canton in
Switzerland that was last to give women the right to vote? But to get
more concrete, if you've been to Appenzell, you'll know that it will not
only take 2 days to drive around a farm, you'll also need mountain
climbing gear for your car, as four wheel drive will only get you the
first few yards.
Regards,
--- Hans-Henrik ---
h...@dkb.dk
---
* RM 1.3 02041 * J'aime la bonne vie!
Bill Evans
Ericka Hansen (u353...@elm.circa.ufl.edu) made the following noteworthy contribution
to the highly esteemed collected works of rec.humor:
: I _think_ I first heard that from an Antioch college alumni...
Did this Antioch college alumni ever recover from the schizophrenia?
-- Captain Nitpick
Kevin C. Clements
> Remember, the correct term for female is "Woperone."
> (Woman is sexist. Instead of "man," say "person."
> ^^^
> But "Woperson" is sexist. Replace "son" with "one.")
> ^^^
Add an 'h' and a LARGE woman is a whoperone. Two large women make up
a whopertwo.
\o/ \o __| \ / |__ o/ \o/ \o
| /\ __\o \o | o/ o/__ /\ | /\ \__/
_/_\__|_\__/)_|____(_\__/o\__/_)____|__(\__/_|__/_\__|_\__/ /o
Kevin C. Clements voice: 402-472-6643 \ /
Biological Sciences fax: 402-472-2083 |
University of Nebraska /o\
Lincoln, NE 68588-0118 USA ke...@niko.unl.edu
_____________________________________________________________\_/__
Ilya Boris Shambat
> Did this Antioch college alumni ever recover from the schizophrenia?
NEVER!!!!!!
ANTIOCH is A concentration CAMP for THE loony-LEFT
they MUST be DESTROYED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NUCLEAR hugs AND radioactive KISSES,
dr. ROCKET.
Dale Lee
>In article <2t0knm...@no-names.nerdc.ufl.edu>, u353...@elm.circa.ufl.edu (Ericka Hansen) writes:
>
>> Remember, the correct term for female is "Woperone."
>> (Woman is sexist. Instead of "man," say "person."
>> ^^^
>> But "Woperson" is sexist. Replace "son" with "one.")
>> ^^^
>
>Add an 'h' and a LARGE woman is a whoperone. Two large women make up
>a whopertwo.
I believe it should be Woperdaughter. Replace son with daughter
instead of "one"
People don't start wars. They just die in them. Government Leaders start wars.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dale Lee |
4001 Discovery Drive | Handguns should be illegal. Then nobody would have them.
Suite 250 | Drugs are illegal. And nobody has them... Oops!
Boulder, CO 80303 |
303-541-6806 | Give Pizza Chants
Internet da...@advtech.uswest.com Visualize Whirled Peas
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boulder: Where the newspaper gets thrown further to the right every day.
Free Health Care that's "Always There" tm, No Matter What the Cost.
Barath Sundar
Gee, I thought a "Woperone." was a PC way of calling an Italian female only.
Barath
PS: I am not racist, bi Got.
Terry Weadock
>
> I believe it should be Woperdaughter. Replace son with daughter
> instead of "one"
They sell 'em at Booger King, dem dere Whopperjuniors.
Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
How about :
MacDungholes
MacBungholes
Burger Dink
Burger Wipe
Burger Doodle
Kenf*cky Tried Picken
peace, love, harmony, and chili fries to all,
tapin' terry
--
Lone Biker of the Apocalypse
te...@domsys.com (Terry Weadock) writes...
>Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
>How about :
>MacDungholes
>MacBungholes
>Burger Dink
>Burger Wipe
Burger Queen
>Burger Doodle
>Kenf*cky Tried Picken
Jaques un le Carton
Pizza Slut
Little Sleazer's
Taco Hell
Taco Faker
Dairy Queer
asta...
_________________________________________________________________________
JBIRK...@cc.WEBER.EDU (Lone Biker of the Apocalypse) James Birkinshaw
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. 1972 BMW R75/5
Mike Pritchard
>From: te...@domsys.com (Terry Weadock)
>Subject: Fast Food Chain names (was Re: Political Correction)
>Date: Fri, 17 Jun 1994 20:26:30 GMT
How about:
Mc Greasy's
Greasy Mac's
The last two aren't really fast food...but I used to hear them around here.
K-Market
Roscoe-d-Islys's Around here, we used to have "Osco-Eisner" combo stores.
Later,
Mike P.
.
***************************
Disclaimer:
"Any opinion expressed is my own, and not that of my employer"
OR
"Nobody saw me do it...you can't prove anything!"
****************************
Michael Pritchard Phone: (217) 333-0850
Operations Supervisor FAX: (217) 333-7151
WILL AM/FM Radio Internet: mike...@uiuc.edu
University of Illinois
blaszczak on BIX
>How about:
>Later,
>Mike P.
Most people I know say "Busway" for the sandwich shop and
"Led Robster" for the cheap seafood place.
.B ekiM
A.Jo...@newcastle.ac.uk
writes:
How about Unlucky Fried Kitten !! 9Thank you Viz )
Andy j
#John Kirk
Mike Harrington
> anybody got any funny names for fast food chains...
Whitey One Bites (White Castle)
Arf 'n Barf (Dog 'n Suds)
--
Michael (Mickey) Harrington mhar...@David.Wheaton.Edu
Eurodean
> In article <2tdaf1$j...@crcnis1.unl.edu>, ke...@niko.unl.edu (Kevin C. Clements) writes:
> |> In article <2t0knm...@no-names.nerdc.ufl.edu>, u353...@elm.circa.ufl.edu (Ericka Hansen) writes:
> |>
> |> > Remember, the correct term for female is "Woperone."
> |> > (Woman is sexist. Instead of "man," say "person."
> |> > ^^^
> |> > But "Woperson" is sexist. Replace "son" with "one.")
> |> > ^^^
> |>
> |> Add an 'h' and a LARGE woman is a whoperone. Two large women make up
> |> a whopertwo.
> |>
> Gee, I thought a "Woperone." was a PC way of calling an Italian female only.
I thought it was politically incorrect to hit women. Shouldn't wop 'em any.
--
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Darin McBride |Team OS/2 - where the future is.... |
| mcb...@ee.ualberta.ca|Windows: brought to you by the makers of EdLin |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My opinions? Take 'em as you will. If you wanna blame my employer, and
are stupid enough to do something about them tell me so I can laugh...
Daan Beijer
jbirk...@vx9000.weber.edu (Lone Biker of the Apocalypse) wrote:
> >Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
> >How about :
> >MacDungholes
> >MacBungholes
> >Burger Dink
> >Burger Wipe
> Burger Queen
> >Burger Doodle
> >Kenf*cky Tried Picken
> Jaques un le Carton
> Pizza Slut
> Little Sleazer's
> Taco Hell
> Taco Faker
> Dairy Queer
>
How about Tim Horny's (Tim Horton Donuts)
Daan Beijer
bei...@dretor.dciem.dnd.ca
Sometimes it's wise to know which way the gun is pointing
Before you yell "I see the whites of their eyes!"
JASON POWELL RHODE
>In article <18JUN199...@vx9000.weber.edu>,
>jbirk...@vx9000.weber.edu (Lone Biker of the Apocalypse) wrote:
>
>> >Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
>> >How about :
>> >MacDungholes
>> >MacBungholes
>> >Burger Dink
>> >Burger Wipe
>> Burger Queen
>> >Burger Doodle
>> >Kenf*cky Tried Picken
>> Jaques un le Carton
>> Pizza Slut
>> Little Sleazer's
>> Taco Hell
>> Taco Faker
>> Dairy Queer
>>
>
>How about Tim Horny's (Tim Horton Donuts)
>
>Daan Beijer
>bei...@dretor.dciem.dnd.ca
>
B.T. Beauregard
>>> >Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
>>> >How about :
>>> >MacDungholes
>>> >MacBungholes
>>> >Burger Dink
>>> >Burger Wipe
>>> Burger Queen
>>> >Burger Doodle
>>> >Kenf*cky Tried Picken
>>> Jaques un le Carton
>>> Pizza Slut
>>> Little Sleazer's
>>> Taco Hell
>>> Taco Faker
>>> Dairy Queer
>>How about Tim Horny's (Tim Horton Donuts)
In the spirit of Pizza...how about:
Dominatrix
Kidd Thunder
Karl Underwood
Here's one:
MacIcan'twatchtheirelandversesitalymatchcausei'mstillbeingsickfrommymacdonalds.
--
Regards
Karl Underwood.
Mark Mehren
BB> >>> >Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
BB> >>> >How about :
BB> >>> Little Sleazer's
How about: Little Queazer's
Tacos Smell
Burger Sheen
_____________________________________
| |
| From: Mark Mehren |
| Costa Mesa, California |
| USA |
|-----------------------------------|
* RM 1.3 * Eval Day 3 * Never take a beer to a job interview.
Mariablue
btb...@ultb.isc.rit.edu (B.T. Beauregard) writes:
>...
>In the spirit of Pizza...how about:
>Dominatrix
>Kidd Thunder
In LA a number of years ago there was a place called
Magnolia Thunderpussy
Never went there but I can imagine what a hamberger must have been
like there. Ahh relish.
Maria
Roger Dietz
: References: <1994Jun24.1...@ultb.isc.rit.edu>
: BB> >>> >Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
: BB> >>> >How about :
: BB> >>> Little Sleazer's
: How about: Little Queazer's
: Tacos Smell
: Burger Sheen
How about Taco Hell, Pizza Slut, Kentucky fried road kill.
: _____________________________________
: | |
: | From: Mark Mehren |
: | Costa Mesa, California |
: | USA |
: |-----------------------------------|
:
:
: * RM 1.3 * Eval Day 3 * Never take a beer to a job interview.
--
********************************************************************
* Necessity is the excuse for every infringement of human freedom. *
* It is the argument of the TYRANT, and the creed of the slave. *
* *
Patrick Desantis
rp55...@delphi.com
Steve Heckman
How about Indigestible House Of Pancakes...
-. .-
_..-'( )`-.._
./'. '||\\. (\_/) .//||` .`\.
./'.|'.'||||\\|.. ( ) ..|//||||`.`|.`\.
./'..|'.|| |||||\`````` '`"'` ''''''/||||| ||.`|..`\.
./'.||'.|||| Steve Heckman <hec...@bbn.com> ||||.`||.`\.
/'|||' |||`\
'.|||'.||||||||||||| |||||||||||||.`|||.`
'.||| ||||||||| |/' ``\||`` ''||/'' `\| ||||||||| |||.`
|/' \./' `\./ \!|\ /|!/ \./' `\./ `\|
V V V }' `\ /' `{ V V V
` ` ` V ' ' '
"Richard Nixon broke the heart of the American Dream."
-- Hunter S. Thompson
Standard Disclamers, Inc.
gian...@esvx19.es.dupont.com
>References: <1994Jun24.1...@ultb.isc.rit.edu>
>
>BB> >>> >Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
>
>BB> >>> >How about :
>BB> >>> Little Sleazer's
>
>How about: Little Queazer's
> Tacos Smell
> Burger Sheen
>>
>_____________________________________
>| |
>| From: Mark Mehren |
>| Costa Mesa, California |
>| USA |
>|-----------------------------------|
From a New Reader:
Pondagrossa
Cheryl
EMONK+Joe...@acdm.rdc.ab.ca
TO: Rog...@rahul.Net
SUBJ: Re: Fast Food Chain name
DATE: 6-28-94
TIME: 14:29
PUBLIC
;rep:185,0
RO--->How about Taco Hell, Pizza Slut, Kentucky fried road kill.
I thought KFC was Kentucky Fried Children
>Joe<
* OLX 2.1 TD * --T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E--
=FE BGQWK 1.0 Unregistered Evaluation Copy
=2EORIGIN: 518/002 - Via The ElectriK Monk - (403)343-4045 -
Terry Weadock
>> >>> >Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food
>> >>> >chains.
>> >>> >How about :
>> >>> >MacDungholes
>> >>> >MacBungholes
>> >>> >Burger Dink
>> >>> >Burger Wipe
>> >>> Burger Queen
>> >>> >Burger Doodle
>> >>> >Kenf*cky Tried Picken
>> >>> Jaques un le Carton
>> >>> Pizza Slut
>> >>> Little Sleazer's
>> >>> Taco Hell
>> >>> Taco Faker
>> >>> Dairy Queer
>> >>How about Tim Horny's (Tim Horton Donuts)
>> >Drunken Blownuts
>> Dominatrix
>> Kidd Thunder
>toxic hell
Wiped Assh*le (White Castle)
Hardly's
Related thread :
Chicken Mcf*ckits
--
David R Hassel
Crotchy Smell
-Dave
Joel Williams
How about Tacky Smell (for Taco Bell). Goes well with ad campaign, 'Make
a run for the bathroom!'
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Joel Williams "You do what you have to do, I'll do what
Encompass I have to do. Whatever happens, happens."
113 Edinburgh South - Runaway Train
Cary, NC 27511-6456
--------------------------------------------------------------------
James Shea
lets not forget....
Burger Thing
Toxic Hell
'nuff said.
-michael
John Griffin
>> >>> >Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
Help me out here, Canadians.
Is it true that in the '70s there was a chain in B.C.
called "Lick a Chick"?
"...saying chicken is 'finger-lickin good' is really absurd;
'cause if chickens had fingers, they'd all give us the bird!"
(That's part of a song by one funny sumbitch whose name I can't
remember at the moment. He is a kickass banjo picker whose
wife is actually named "Sweetie". I think his name is Snyder.)
Craig Christian
Banjo Picker?? Sweetie?? He must be from Arkansas. Does he own
shoes? His idol must be Dr. Rocket (aka Butthead)!! >8-)
Craig
DANIEL HERNANDEZ
>References: <1994Jun24.1...@ultb.isc.rit.edu>
>
>BB> >>> >Speaking of Booger King, anybody got any funny names for fast food chains.
>
>BB> >>> >How about :
>BB> >>> Little Sleazer's
>
>How about: Little Queazer's
> Tacos Smell
> Burger Sheen
TACO HELL
Reece T. Watkins
: actually I'm michael, but.....
Of course, there's also:
Little Seizures
Taco Belch
Ache 'N' Stale (nee Steak And Ale)
Reece Watkins
Minimalist Signatures, Inc.
SATAN @ HELL . GOV
>
> TACO HELL
DAMN STRAIGHT!
Wanna join me for dinner?
evoL,
VOG . LLEH @ NATAS
The Coz
> DAMN STRAIGHT!
> Wanna join me for dinner?
> evoL,
> VOG . LLEH @ NATAS
Hey Dr. Rocket, or Satan, or whatever you choose to call yourself today, why
don't you let this group get on with the topic it was designed for and do a
little growing up. If you want to post just to see your name in print then
alt.flame would be a great place for you. (where better for Satan to hang
out?)
DR. ROCKET
> Hey Dr. Rocket, or Satan, or whatever you choose to call yourself today, why
> don't you let this group get on with the topic it was designed for and do a
> little growing up.
YEP, that's what I am doing....
... LETting this group get on with the topic that it was designed for
and do a little growing in the process.
- DR. ROCKET,
guiding rec.humor to maturity
Greg Goebel
> - DR. ROCKET,
> guiding rec.humor to maturity
*WHAT*?! WHY RUIN A BAD THING WHEN YOU GOT IT?!
"Garfield, why did you change the channel?"
"It wasn't insulting my intelligence anymore."
-
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Wile E. Coyote at Acme Electronics Corporation |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it. |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Greg Goebel NET: gvg@hpislsup |
| Hewlett-Packard HP DESK: GREG GOEBEL |
| VXD Marketing PHONE: Telnet/303 679-3424 |
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+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
The Coz
> YEP, that's what I am doing....
> ... LETting this group get on with the topic that it was designed for
> and do a little growing in the process.
Prove it. Your actions speak so loud that we can't hear what you say.
> - DR. ROCKET,
> guiding rec.humor to maturity
Now there is a joke. You can't lead where you have never been.
DR. ROCKET
> > - DR. ROCKET,
> > guiding rec.humor to maturity
> Now there is a joke. You can't lead where you have never been.
RIGHT. As one now-deCEASEd chairman of D.C. cITy coUNcil once sAID,
"If gROWing up meANs beCOMing as old and bORing as you,
then I ain't nEVEr gonna grow up"
- DR. ROCKET
guiding idiots to oblivion
The Coz
> RIGHT. As one now-deCEASEd chairman of D.C. cITy coUNcil once sAID,
> "If gROWing up meANs beCOMing as old and bORing as you,
> then I ain't nEVEr gonna grow up"
Ahhh, such a poor misinformed child.
> - DR. ROCKET
> guiding idiots to oblivion
>
Don't you mean "Leading"?
Stephen Ryu
Whack in the Box
Jack in the Crack
Yack in the Box
Hell (affectionate term for TB)
and
The Crack (affectionate term for Jack in the Box)
BOB SHAFFER
MORE STORES OF ILL FAME:
Pizza Mutt
Taco Bellyache
McDugnutts
Arctic Cycle (of upchucks)
A&W (awful & weird)
Hardley Foods
Mini Smart or Mini Fart
Dr. Bob
Bill Evans
DR. ROCKET (ib...@fermi.clas.Virginia.EDU) made the following noteworthy contribution
to the highly esteemed collected works of rec.humor:
: - DR. ROCKET,
: guiding rec.humor to maturity
In other words, the hairy-palmed leading the hairy-palmed.
-- Captain Nitpick
Doug Mason
>Is it true that in the '70s there was a chain in B.C.
>called "Lick a Chick"?
Out here we have the fine establishment called "In and Out Burger", which
has a funny enough name, but the t-shirts and bumper stickers are great.
Things like "Can't wait until I get a little In and Out" and the like.
You can imagine.
-Doug
--
Doug Mason, Windows Czar
Informix Software, Inc. dma...@informix.com
Menlo Park, Ca 94025 +01 415.926.6917
Russ Grabowski
Pat and Marios ( a local pickup joint ) - Fat and Scarios
- and as far as I'm concerned Dr Rocket is an idiot - nuff said.
SATAN @ HELL . GOV
... after a while, your pALms sTARt to smell like your momma's armpits.
evol,
NATAS
Doug Mason
Stephen Ryu <seou...@corvette.crl.goldstar.co.kr> wrote:
Actually the full name is "Jack in the Crack", the south-central LA term
for "Jack in the Box" (shudder...)
Even after it was all over the news that someone had died from eating at
Jack in the Box, I drove by the place on my way home and the drive-thru
lane went all the way around the building.
--Doug
Doug Mason
...since we are going that route, how about:
"Stop and Rob" (for Stop and Go, the 7-11 type store)
Timo Salmi
:- and as far as I'm concerned Dr Rocket is an idiot - nuff said.
snuff said?
All the best, Timo
..................................................................
Prof. Timo Salmi Co-moderator of comp.archives.msdos.announce
Moderating at garbo.uwasa.fi anonymous FTP archives 128.214.87.1
Faculty of Accounting & Industrial Management; University of Vaasa
Internet: t...@uwasa.fi BBS +(358)-61-3170972; FIN-65101, Finland
Dave Day
: Out here we have the fine establishment called "In and Out Burger", which
: has a funny enough name, but the t-shirts and bumper stickers are great.
: Things like "Can't wait until I get a little In and Out" and the like.
: You can imagine.
Better still were the days when they had bumper stickers. They were
done in two lines
In and Out
Burgers
and the good citizens would cut off the leading B and trailing rs
before attaching to the bumper.
Andrew E. Phelps
O' connoisseur of greasy grimey body cavities, please inform us how long it took
you to build up enough hairs from your sister's pits to glue on for your pubic
hair?
e-mail replies to aeph...@aza.win.net
-- no sig necessary --
Aza
Andy Phelps
Ch. Systems Analyst
Louisville Laboratories, inc.
Bill Evans
Russ Grabowski (rgra...@cattnts.canada.ncr.com) made the following noteworthy contribution
to the highly esteemed collected works of rec.humor:
Yes, but a funny idiot.
-- Captain Nitpick
Timo Salmi
:In article <1994Jul6.1...@cattnts.canada.ncr.com> on Wed, 6 Jul 1994 16:38:47 GMT,
DR. ROCKET
> > RIGHT. As one now-deCEASEd chairman of D.C. cITy coUNcil once sAID,
> > "If gROWing up meANs beCOMing as old and bORing as you,
> > then I ain't nEVEr gonna grow up"
>
> Ahhh, such a poor misinformed child.
.... Who did a hell of a lot more for the world than you ever will.
Andrew E. Phelps
You shouldn't imply anything about the man's sexuality, unless of course
it comes from personal knowledge?
Bill Evans
Andrew E. Phelps (aeph...@aza.win.net) made the following noteworthy contribution
to the highly esteemed collected works of rec.humor:
Is this an Irish joke?
-- Captain Nitpick
Andrew E. Phelps
I don't think swamping the world with your crap can be considered a plus.
Perhaps you should change the line to
.... Who did a hell of a lot more *to* the world than you ever will.
Mary Alison Watson
names, here's a few more where I live:
Lucky Seven at Grady Avenue is affectionately known as
stop and Steal
shady grady
crack seven
hit and run
That's all!
P. S. Hey Satan! I heard you were really only about 12 years
old. What's up with that?
DR. ROCKET
> Lucky Seven at Grady Avenue is affectionately known as
> stop and Steal shady grady
> crack seven hit and run
EAT AND PERISH DRINK AND BARF
> P. S. Hey Satan! I heard you were really only about 12 years old.
SaTAN is immORtal. YOU ARE NOT.
- DR. ROCKET
the ultimate weapon
DR. ROCKET
> Perhaps you should change the line to
>
> .... Who did a hell of a lot more *to* the world than you ever will.
>
OR, who did a hell of the world already sufficiently hellish.
- DR. ROCKET
his loyal disciple
Bill Evans
Mary Alison Watson (ma...@Virginia.EDU) made the following noteworthy contribution
to the highly esteemed collected works of rec.humor:
: old.
Quite true, obviously. He _was_ really only about 12 years old,
at one time.
-- Captain Nitpick
Dana S. Cummings
> Hey in reference to "stop and rob" for the convenience store
> names, here's a few more where I live:
>
> Lucky Seven at Grady Avenue is affectionately known as
>
>
> stop and Steal
> shady grady
> crack seven
> hit and run
>
> That's all!
In this area we have a murder mart.
--
Dana Cummings
dcum...@moose.uvm.edu
dscu...@emba.uvm.edu
Burlington, VT
Christopher Krenn
I was extremely disappointed when I discovered they were not selling
food, but only oil changes.
Wishing for honesty in advertising... Chris
Mike Evans
Don't foget Toxic Hell
Mike Evans
CNCS Email God/Consultant
Arizona State University (Home of the Sun Devils!)
Mike....@ASU.Edu
Wolv...@ASU.Edu