Feb 8 Puns
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Forerunner: In favor of fast moving people.
Tim Bruening
Stagnation: Country of male deer.
Mareination: Country of female horses.
Tim Bruening
Super: Price per unit of soup.
Tim Bruening
Commission: A church run by computers.
Decommission: A commission of demons.
Tim Bruening
Conrade: Radioactive criminal.
Rabies: Radioactive buzzing insects.
Tim Bruening
Contemplate: Against templates.
Tim Bruening
Allocate: To find Al Gore.
Goring: Ring worn by Al.
Tim Bruening
JC Penny: A 1 cent shopping mall in the ocean.
Gottchalks: A question for a teacher shopping for classroom supplies.
Tim Bruening
Permit: Glove price.
Perot: Price of a canoe or row boat trip.
Tim Bruening
Lacy: Ocean of revealing night clothing.
Tim Bruening
Basing: Singing wolves and military bases.
Bracing: Singing donkeys.
Facing: Singing head.
Tim Bruening
Erasing: Singing Internet sunshine, or a singing chalkboard instrument.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Prince of Wales: Heir to the throne of that nation, who leaves large
footprints while crying.
Blue Prince: Heir to the architectural throne.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Denmark: Nation of bedrooms full of German currency.
Egypt: Nation of Internet scams.
Greece: A fat nation.
Turkey: Country of food birds.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Substandard: Underwater flag.
Subscript: Underwater play.
Superscript: Clark Kent play.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> Deduct: Demon waterfowl.
>
> Forerunner: In favor of fast moving people.
Foreman: In favor of humanity.
Conman: Against humanity.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
Rumsey: Ocean of drunk Indians.
Tim Bruening
Balming: Round Chinese vase.
Blaming: Accusative vase.
Booming: Loud vase.
Bumming: Unkempt vase.
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Grooming: Male vase that's about to get married.
Rooming: Vase for a genie.
Warming: Aggressive vase.
Warming: Hot vase.
Tim Bruening
Foreman: In favor of humanity.
Conman: Against humanity.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
Cache Creek: River of Indian casinos.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> Deduct: Demon waterfowl.
>
Tim Bruening
nemo
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40E90159...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Overseer: A very tall fortune-teller.
nemo
Casinos: Cheesy proboscis.
nemo
Booming: Very unsporting football supporters.
Tim Bruening
nemo
The number of these ming puns is vase-st! Odd, because Ming was a dynasty,
not a vase - so the whole premise of all these puns is total and utter
crap!
So Tim needs to find some new premises!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
I understand that a number of beautiful vases were made during the Ming
dynasty, and are thus called "Ming vases".
nemo
somebody shot JR, he was fuming!"
Tim Bruening
Balming: Round Chinese vase.
Blaming: Accusative vase.
Booming: Loud vase.
Bumming: Unkempt vase.
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Homing: Vase of a hooker.
nemo
We've worn out the Mings. Let's ava go at somebody else.
Tangent: Male member of a Chinese dynasty that lasted from 618 to 907 who
couldn't kelp his Hans to himself. (Their next. 206 BC to 221 AD.)
Tanganyika: Ladies underwear from said dynasty.
Tangier: Aural apparatus belonging to a member of said dynasty.
Tangling: Very young member of said dynasty.
nemo
> > > > > Subway: Underwater philosophy.
> > > > >
> > > > Subterraneon: Underground hiding place of terrorists who blow up
> > flourescent
> > > > shop signs and ads.
> > >
> > > Subspace: The area beneath.
> > >
> > Sub's Pace: About 5 Knots underwater and 10 on the surface.
>
> Subscript: Writing on a submarine.
Why didn't I thin cough this one before??
Subscription: The function of the Naval Enigma machine - captured by the
British Royal Navy in about 15 minutes and not the US Navy as in that lying
and terribly badly written film with everything except the galley sink
exploding or going wrong just to pad out the pathetic excuse for a plot!
So there!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4121A944...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FB87904...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:3FB5CD00...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Subway: Underwater philosophy.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Subterraneon: Underground hiding place of terrorists who blow up
> > > flourescent
> > > > > shop signs and ads.
> > > >
> > > > Subspace: The area beneath.
> > > >
> > > Sub's Pace: About 5 Knots underwater and 10 on the surface.
> >
> > Subscript: Writing on a submarine.
>
> Why didn't I thin cough this one before??
>
> Subscription: The function of the Naval Enigma machine - captured by the
> British Royal Navy in about 15 minutes and not the US Navy as in that lying
> and terribly badly written film with everything except the galley sink
> exploding or going wrong just to pad out the pathetic excuse for a plot!
Burma: Cold mother.
Enigma: Mysterious spy mother.
Sigma: Greek mother.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4121A944...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FB87904...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:3FB5CD00...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Subway: Underwater philosophy.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Subterraneon: Underground hiding place of terrorists who blow up
> > > flourescent
> > > > > shop signs and ads.
> > > >
> > > > Subspace: The area beneath.
> > > >
> > > Sub's Pace: About 5 Knots underwater and 10 on the surface.
> >
> > Subscript: Writing on a submarine.
>
> Why didn't I thin cough this one before??
>
> Subscription: The function of the Naval Enigma machine - captured by the
> British Royal Navy in about 15 minutes and not the US Navy as in that lying
> and terribly badly written film with everything except the galley sink
> exploding or going wrong just to pad out the pathetic excuse for a plot!
What's a thin cough?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Tang: A Chinese dynasty you can drink.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Tangle: Very knotty Chinese dynasty.
Are there any good Tang vases?
nemo
nemo
Have a look here and have a look here:
nemo
Act.
nemo
(I've already eggs plained about homophony - and it ain't the use of Mobiles
by faygelekh in Christoper
Street NY or Old Compton Street, London!)
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
What a nice verbal dance.
nemo
As I went online on a Summer's night
Onto a.h.puns to see the usual fight!
Far away from the Baked Beans' glare
Into the sweet and scented air
Of a quaint old Corny town
Borne from afar on the gentile breeze
Joining the murmur of someone's knees
Distant tones of an old world pun
Something about Atillah the Hun
On the Usenet floating down
I thought I could hear the curious tone
Of the Cybe R. playing on the big trombone
Fiddle, 'cello, big fat bum:
Jammy Mac on his euphonium
Far away, as in a trance
I saw Timmie dance the Verbal Dance!
And soon I heard such a bustling and prancing
And then I saw the whole group was dancing
In and out with their puns they came
Old puns, new puns, all the same
In that quaint old Corny town
Every boy took a girl 'round the waist
And the girl turned round and slapped his face!
If they knew any puns I don't give a toss
And the usual Trolls saying they're the boss
But they punned as they danced along
And there was the band with that curious tone
While the excellent puns made the flamers moan
Mel with his head in a big bass drum
U-R-Droll impaled on a euphonium
Each one making the most of his chance
With Timmie leading in the Verbal Dance!
http://ingeb.org/songs/asiwalka.html
(You need to know the Mel Oddie to understand the metre. It might be
download-a-bull somewhere.)
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Balming: Round Chinese vase.
Blaming: Accusative vase.
Booming: Loud vase.
Bumming: Unkempt vase.
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Grooming: Male vase that's about to get married.
Tim Bruening
nemo
Or water flowing out of a temporary memory store.
nemo
Charming: Someone who keeps on with Chinese vase puns who's been set fire
to!
nemo
if the planet were conscious, it would be!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Reduce: Mussolini is back in power.
Subtract: A train underwater.
Duction: The process of becoming a duck.
Conduct: Against ducks.
Conduction: Against becoming a duck.
Reduction: To become a duck again.
Subtraction: How a sub pushes off against the ground.
Duct Tape: Used to tape together broken ducks.
Duct Tape: Recording of duck calls.
nemo
Warfare: It's a lie! It ain't - because somebody always wins. To make a
warfare, it has to end in a draw!
nemo
Sellotape: Kept in the basement.
Scotch Tape: For doing emergency repairs to kilts.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Balming: Round Chinese vase.
Blaming: Accusative vase.
Booming: Loud vase.
Bumming: Unkempt vase.
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Homing: Vase of a hooker.
Grooming: Male vase that's about to get married.
nemo
Fed up withg these bleedin Chinese vases! How about a British one?
Claris Clift: Brightly decorated Art Deco vase thrown from off of a chalky
escarpment.
Escarpment: Time regulating mechanism in a geologist's watch.
Tim Bruening
Balming: Round Chinese vase.
Blaming: Accusative vase.
Booming: Loud vase.
Bumming: Unkempt vase.
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Grooming: Male vase that's about to get married.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> Deduct: Demon waterfowl.
>
nemo
You're being very mingy not providing us with any new ones.
nemo
>
>
> Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> > Ramsey: An ocean of male sheep
Ramsey Street: A Cul-de-Sac full of human sheep.
> >
> > Stagnation: Country of male deer.
. . . or a country with many cesspools.
> >
> > Mareination: Country of female horses.
. . . or a country run by string-puppets.
nemo
Foreman: Boss who pretends he doae the work of foremen but doesn't.
Gaffer: Boss who makes all the misakes but pretends he doesn't!
Line Manager: In charge of a railway.
Executive: In charge of capital punishment.
Capital punishment: Writing puns that are both extremely good and extremely
irritating.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> Ramsey: An ocean of male sheep
>
> Stagnation: Country of male deer.
>
> Mareination: Country of female horses.
Rumsey: Ocean of drunk Indians.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Blamer: Accusative ocean.
Boomer: Loud azure ocean.
Bummer: Unkempt ocean.
Groomer: Male ocean that's about to get married.
Warmer: Hot, aggressive ocean.
Tim Bruening
Automate: Cars making love.
Batten: 10 flying mammals.
Baton: A 2,000 lb flying mammal.
Baritone: Singing ursine.
Tim Bruening
Beaten: 10 apines.
Bitten: 10 computer files.
Whiten: Paint 10 houses white.
Written: 10 edicts.
Tim Bruening
Bootie: Ghost tea.
Bourbon: Alcoholic pastry.
Briber: Gives cold cash.
Brownie: Tasty letter.
Tim Bruening
Button: 2,000 lb arse.
Bedaub: Bee that dabs paint.
Beating: Musical bee.
Beanie: Bee's knee.
Bewail: Bee cetacean.
Tim Bruening
Barrow: Row of ursines.
Batty: Tea drunk by flying mammals.
Baboon: A good thing for a sheep.
Barest: Where ursines catch their breath.
nemo
Or a river with microprocessor instructions queuing up on it.
Pentium: Used in a Scriptorium for writing textium.
nemo
Merder: What happens to someone who does too many sea puns!
nemo
>
>
> Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> > Deduct: Demon waterfowl.
> >
> > Forerunner: In favor of fast moving people.
>
> Foreman: In favor of humanity.
I've always found Foremen to be dead against the humanity of the people
they're in charge of. And the attitude of Man-agers puts years on yer!
>
> Conman: Against humanity.
dobey the elf
What about all the rest besides the four?
>
> >
> > Conman: Against humanity.
nemo
Count-to tenor: High pitched singer trying to keep his temper after being
called a poof!
nemo
E-dict: Bonking/boinking by e-male!
nemo
> Bittern: Computer bird.
>
> Bootie: Ghost tea.
>
> Bourbon: Alcoholic pastry.
. . . or chocolate biscuit.
>
> Briber: Gives cold cash.
>
> Brownie: Tasty letter.
They're a kind of junior Girl Guide in the UK. You'll get arrested!
nemo
> Brunet: Brown net.
>
> Button: 2,000 lb arse.
>
> Bedaub: Bee that dabs paint.
>
> Beating: Musical bee.
>
> Beanie: Bee's knee.
>
> Bewail: Bee cetacean.
Busy Tacean?
Crust Tacean: Aquatic arthropod with very bad Psoriasis.
nemo
Does their breath come out in short pants? - and if so, are they from Marks
and Spencer?
nemo
dobey the elf <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1104166323.1...@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
There are quite a few rests besides the four in a doubles Snooker match.
How many legs on a snooker table?
None. They're all underneath.
Tim Bruening
nemo
Ho Ming Pi Gen: Chinese messenger.
Tim Bruening
Foreman: In favor of humanity.
Conman: Against humanity.
Tim Bruening
Alarming: Chinese vase that alerts the guards.
Balming: Round Chinese vase.
Blaming: Accusative vase.
Booming: Loud vase.
Bumming: Unkempt vase.
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Homing: Vase of a hooker.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:417D69A1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Fed up withg these bleedin Chinese vases! How about a British one?
>
> Claris Clift: Brightly decorated Art Deco vase thrown from off of a chalky
> escarpment.
>
> Escarpment: Time regulating mechanism in a geologist's watch.
I didn't know the names of any British vases. Where can I find some?
nemo
You'll see some if you look over a Claris Clift!
Do a Google on "English potters" including the quotes. There are 45 pages
of links - and that's a lot of sausages!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:a69c46fe.0407...@posting.google.com...
> > Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
> news:<0umte05rh6q9anrrq...@4ax.com>...
> > > On Fri, 9 Jul 2004 10:58:30 -0400, "Greg Evans"
> > > <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
> > >
> > > >Mos wrote:
> > > >
> > > >>> Take Larry for instance.
> > > >>
> > > >> PLEASE !!!
> > > >> <ba-dum tiiiiiissh> (to save Greg the effort)
> > > >
> > > >Ha. Even *I* have *some* standards!
> > >
> > > What tunes would those be?
> >
> > Fish Tunes (Tunafish), and Cartoons.
>
> Like St. Anthony's Sermon in Mahler's second sympathy.
Sermon: Religious preacher knight.
Tim Bruening
Super: Price per unit of soup.