Snigglets
Shannon W. Price
I'm interested in finding a collection of snigglets - anyone have any
favorites? Here are some that were passed along to me....
PLAKQUAK - The one mysterious dentist out of five "who doesn't recommend
sugarless gum for his paients who chew gum."
BEERSIGHTEDNESS - The eye condition singles develop after "last call" in
the bar which makes members of the opposite sex more attractive
than they were three hours earlier.
PASSHOLE - The person who has been driving slowly for miles but speeds up
the minute you try to get ahead of him.
PURINAPICURIAN -The unlucky person who decides whether a new version of a dog
food tastes good enought to be labeled "new and better tasting".
BLADE RUNNER - The tendency of a ceiling fan to keep going five minutes after
you've turned it off.
FLABBYGASTED - The anguish of having dieted for three grueling weeks only to
discover that you haven't lost a pound.
NAPJERK - The body's sudden convulsion just as one is about to doze off.
MEMOLANDUMS - The miscellaneous notes and letters that you keep putting back
in your in-basket because you don't know what else to do with them.
EXXONERATION - The verdict given to a certain oil tanker captain who wiped out
the Alaskan coastline but who was charged with "criminal mischief".
FLOPCORN - The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the popcorn popper.
HOZONE - The place where one sock in every laundry load disappears to.
LAMINITES - Those strange people who show up in the photo sections of
brand-new wallets.
VIGIL AUNTIE - The relative in every family who is snoopy and always poking
her nose into other people's business.
STAG 'N SNARF - The single person's tradition of eating dinner while standing
over the sink.
OAT-BRAN SCAN - The combination of boredom and sleepiness that inspires one to
actually read the back of a cereal box.
shannon price
auburn university
spr...@humsci.auburn.edu
Perry Tarantine
ESSO-ASSO - The person who cuts through the gas station on the
corner to avoid a red light.
BEVIMIRAGE - The Black ring on a two litre bottle of cola that makes
it appear to still contain soda when empty.
--
Perry Tarantine aa395 /*/ /// /*/ Amiga: Computer for the
SysOp of the RPG Sig /*/ /// /*/ Creative Mind.
Type "Go RPG" and /*/ \\\/// /*/No. 1 complaint of comic strip chars
Join the Adventure /*/ \XX/ /*/ "I don't have thumbs!"
Robert W Berry
[snigglets deleted]
I have a couple of these myself:
NAPKINPACTION : the act of stuffing so many paper napkins into a
restaurant napkin holder that you can't remove one
without ripping it.
NINCOMMERCIALPOOP : a person who watches the commercials while watching a
videotape instead of fast-forwarding over them.
Later,
Bob
--
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Mark Johnson
=)aa...@yfn.ysu.edu (Perry Tarantine) writes:
=)
=)[snigglets deleted]
=)
=)I have a couple of these myself:
=)
=)[snigglets deleted]
One of my favorites, taken from a Sniglets(tm) calendar, was:
EXPRESSHOLE: One who goes through the express lane in the supermarket with
more than the maximum ten items.
--
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "Johnson" | " " |
| joh...@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com | -- Marcel Marceau |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Disclaimer: It's just my Tourette's Syndrome acting up again. |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Mother Nature
I like combination words too. Like venitian-blindfold, sixpackmule,
swimmingpooltable, flashlighthouse, shuttlecocktail and crossbowtie. I've got
a neat little sheet with drawings of these objects, plus a few more.
PEEDS
PHUT:: noise made when opening a jar of coffee.
Peeds.
mulv...@fri.cri.nz
> [snigglets deleted]
>
I remember a couple from a Reader's Digest magazine many years ago:
XIIDIGITATION: The art of trying to decipher the roman numerals that
come up at the end of a film to determine which year it was made.
Another definition for a word which I cannot recall was:
?????: (If anyone can fill in the word I would be grateful)
The practice in which, after vacuuming three or four times over a piece
of lint stuck to the carpet, you pick it off but then put it back on the
carpet again and give the vacuum cleaner "just one more try".
--
**** Why is the symbol for anarchy always written the same way? ****
Damian Mulvena Phone: +64 7 347 5446
Forest Research Institute Internet: mulv...@fri.cri.nz
Rotorua, NEW ZEALAND Bitnet: mulvenad%fri.c...@uunet.uu.net
DONALD L. HARDY
>=)[snigglets deleted]
>=)
Quantitative Whyticulation Factor: The number of times a three year old asks
"Why?" before the mother says "Because I am the mommy, THAT'S why."
--
******************************************************************************
Donald L. Hardy Office of Physical Planning
Project Planner Lehigh University
dh...@lehigh.edu (215) 758 5110
Roost
shirt while riding a fenderless bicycle in the rain.
Funch : Turning a pillow over and over on a hot day to find the cool side.
Does anyone have a list of these that they could send me?
[_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *]
_ __ __ _ _ _ David P. Lawrence
_ / _ ) _ /_ / Computer Engineer BDM International, Inc.
_ / _ / _ __ _ _ . _ __ (_ / Albuquerque, New Mexico
_ /_ __ __ /_ (_ __ __ (_ __ (_ __ \_ /_ __ /_ __ (_ __ )_ \_ _ Account at University of New Mexico:
pa...@triton.unm.edu
"The meek will inherit the earth... The rest of us will go to the stars!" OMNI
[_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *][_ *]
Steve Keppel-Jones
|>
|>Another definition for a word which I cannot recall was:
|>?????: (If anyone can fill in the word I would be grateful)
Carperpetuation, n.
|> The practice in which, after vacuuming three or four times over a piece
|> of lint stuck to the carpet, you pick it off but then put it back on the
|> carpet again and give the vacuum cleaner "just one more try".
And then there's
Pedaeration, n.: The act, when trying to get to sleep, of
adjusting body temperature by poking your feet out from under the covers.
Anybody have a comprehensive list of these?
--
Steve Keppel-Jones // ___
stud...@bnr.ca \\ // /__/ ____ o _, __.
sdkeppel@descartes \ \X/ / (_/) ) )_(_(_)_(_(_
.uwaterloo.ca __)
jrc...@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
over a piece of lint stuck to the carpet you pick it off but then put it
back on the carpet to give the vacuum cleaner "just one more try".
Grig Larson
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING ON PRODUCTS
# 127748
Comestible Ingredient: "Uh-Huh"
"Uh-Huh": A psychochemical drug usually found in powder or syrup form. It
is dark-brown to black in color. Main extract from the spiny
North American Mid-Western plant called "unk-ha" by the local
Indians. Latin name: ofelius likapepsis.
Approved by the FDA January 13th, 1983 to be used in the distribution of
carbonated drinks. Original purpose for filler, later used to enhace the
flavor of drinks over-thinned by costwise production.
On March 14th, 1992, Punkadyne Labratories, in accordance with FDA studies,
released its report on the long-term effects of the ingredients. The basic
results of the tests are presented here for public distribution. The results
of this test were used to provide leverage to ban the organic compound from
public consumption. The findings were conclusive, and the process is in
litagation.
Punkadyne Labratories tested pre-measrued doses on 500 Lawyers from the
Washington DC area. Lab rats were initially considered, but there are some
things a lab rat just simply won't do.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dose: 5-10mg/day (Equivalent to 1 Diet Pepsi Cola)
Effect Test Control
Occasional sleeplessness 39% 2%
Mild stimulant 46% 9%
Dose: 10-50mg/day (Equivalent to Diet Pepsi 6-pack or 3 A&W Creme Sodas)
Effect Test Control
Restlessness 45% 5%
Irritability 69% 9%
Mild mood swings 55% 13%
Watching "Late Night with David Letterman" 23% 0%
Dose: 50-100mg/day (Equivalent to whole box of "No-Doz")
Effect Test Control
Severe mood shifts 56% 9%
Liking "Late Night with David Letterman" 34% 0%
Occaisonal babbling about past girlfriends 89% 23%
Numbness in extremities 35% 2%
Scored low on incompetency exams 84% 84%
Dose: 100-200mg/day (Equivalent to Post-Trauma Adrenaline rush)
Effect Test Control
Schizophrenia 56% 4%
Being a guest on "Late Night with David Letterman" 44% 0%
Calling up past girlfriends and telling them off 98% 11%
Melanin count doubles 44% 0%
Couldn't spell name on incompetency exam 75% 12%
Dose: 200-300mg/day (Equivalent to replacing blood with coffee)
Effect Test Control
Violent multiple personalities suing each other 78% 9%
Guest Hosting on "Late Night with David Letterman" 61% 0%
Stalking past girlfriends for the kill 98% 22%
Desire to play piano with eyes closed 52% 0%
Couldn't find incompetency exam 89% 8%
Dose: 300-400mg/day (Equivalent to snorting dandelions)
Effect Test Control
Each body part becomes separate entity 77% 2%
Replaces "Late Night with David Letterman" 94% 0%
Dresses dead body of girlfriend in sequin dress 87% 11%
Becomes blind and a terriffic piano player 49% 0%
Drooled on incompetency exam 77% 56%
Spontaneous decapitation 45% 5%
Dose: 400-500mg/day (Equivalent to replacing blood with cocaine)
Effect Test Control
Death via self-mutilation 99% 1%
Is David Letterman 0% 1%
Beaten up by ERA member 12% 95%
Ate incompetency exam 62% 12%
Dose: Over 500mg/day (No earthy equivalent)
Effect Test Control
Death 100% 2%
All test subjects were given straight 100% uh-huh mixed in with a martini.
Control groups were given a martini with an uh-huh look-alike, X7. All
subjects were kept in a natural enviroment, complete with ceiling mirrors
and volumes of legal paperwork to keep them company. The use of inflatable
women was restricted to keep the heart rate low, and was substituted with
Girl Scout magazines.
Results are being scrutinized, as some find the lawyer's response to be
confused with normal lawyer off-hour behavior.
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(c)1992 Punkadyne Research Labratory and Archives at wal...@bessel.umd.edu
Steve Hedberg
I don't think this one is in any of the books:
PUFFIFICATION : The process of cleaning any food item dropped on the ground
by blowing on it.
Steve.