Funky stuff - part 118
Henry Cate VII
There was a man who had been stranded on a desert island for the last
twenty years, when all of a sudden a beatiful girl steps up from the see,
wearing a wet suit.
She: "Would you like a cigarette?"
He: "Sure" (he takes one from the wet-suit, light it, and smokes it)
She: "Would you like a martini?"
He: "Sure" (he gets the very special 007 shaken, not stirred, martini from her
wet suit)
Then she says, with a strange gleam in her eye: "Would you like to play around"
He: "I don't believe that you have got a set of golf clubs in there!"
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The man says to his wife: "We won't make it through this month without some
additional money."
The wife says nothing. Two days after she says to him:
"I've been thinking. I decided to go prostituting"
Then she shows him $100.25
The man says: "Who gave you the quarter?"
She says: "They all gave me a quarter!"
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Honeymoon. Walking down 42nd Street they saw a sign advertising "The Great
Gonzo" outside a theater and decided to give the show a try.
So into the theater they went. There was a fanfare and The Great Gonzo came
out on stage. He was a young man dressed only in a bathrobe. He opened the
robe to show the biggest and hardest erection imaginable. Then he clapped his
hands and a young woman emerged pushing a cart on the top of which were three
walnuts. The Great Gonzo took his erect member in his hand and, one by one,
smashed the walnuts to the thunderous applause of the audience.
This year the couple decided to celebrate their 40th anniversary with a second
honeymoon in New York City. While walking down 42nd Street they once again saw
the sign advertising The Great Gonzo. With a bit of surprise they decided to
check out the show again. Once they were in the theater the fanfare played and
Gonzo, now an old man, appeared in his bathrobe. He opened the robe and there
was the erection, as big and hard as ever.
This time when he clapped his hands, his now-aged assistant appeared with a
cart on which were three coconuts. To thunderous applause, he used his member
to smash each of them.
The couple couldn't resist going up to Gonzo after the show. They explained
that they had seem him 40 years earlier.
"But why," they asked, "did you switch from walnuts to coconuts?"
"Well," he replied, "when you get old your eyes start to go."
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One attractive young businesswoman to another, over lunch:
"My life is all math. I am trying to add to my
income, subtract from my weight, divide my time,
and avoid multiplying."
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There were those two Poles that went fishing. They found a lot of fish
and filled the boat. One of them told the other to mark this area for
later time. He cut his initials in the boat. Then they land the boat.
Suddenly one of them says: "Ooh, are we stupid. Think what happens if
we don't get the same boat!"
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Henry Cate VII
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(ucbvax!xerox.com!cate7.osbu_east) OR (cate7.o...@Xerox.Com)
To clear the record, the postings by cate3 are not ours.
We don't know whose they are. They appear to be someone's idea of a joke.
(Our Model 3 has been upgraded. Is this another Soviet clone?)