Why did the chicken cross the road ?
bubba
To show the possum and the armadillo it could be done and live.
bubba
--
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
Merv
Jerry Falwell:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side". That's why "they" call it the "other side". Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other
side". That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain
and
simple as that.
Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
Dr. Suess:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without
having their motives called into question.
Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Aristotle:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronald Reagan:
What chicken?
Ken Starr:
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the
President Of The United States Of America in an effort to distract law
enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal
wrongdoing
our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result,
the
chicken is just another pawn in the President's ongoing and elaborate
scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that
reason,
my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he
cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will
not
be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation
and any Congressional followup investigations have been completed. We
are
also investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the
Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort
to
discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least
to
ruffle his feathers.
Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Fox Mulder:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have
to cross before you believe it?
Sigmond Freud:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates:
I have just released eChicken98, which will not only cross roads, but
will
lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook---and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Albert Einstein:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
Bill Clinton:
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken please?
Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
much
rejoicing.
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
Nikko
>WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Very good! There's also a genuine quantum mechanical interpretation,
which is outlined here:
http://members.xoom.com/bacchanalia/li/li010.jpg
(can't post it here because it's a binary)
*****************
(This is part of:
http://members.xoom.com/bacchanalia/li.htm
(...which is part of:
http://members.xoom.com/bacchanalia/index.htm
Cheers,
Nick.
Zevra and his little green guy
><mcri...@home.com> wrote:
>
>>WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
>
>Very good! There's also a genuine quantum mechanical interpretation,
>which is outlined here:
>http://members.xoom.com/bacchanalia/li/li010.jpg
That was magnificent!
Zevra, I'm getting that giddy,--- almost better than sex, feeling! { sigh }
Here, I'll help you nonbinary folks along so you can have a chance at
achieving multiple orgasms as well . . .
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Physicist version:
According to the strict Copenhagen school of quantum mechanics, the reason the
chicken crossed the road was that somebody happened to observe it on the other
side.
Prior to being observed, the chicken was neither on one side nor the other,
but would have best been described as a chicken flesh probability wave
distribution smeared out over both sides of the road.
The very act of observation would have caused this smeared-out chicken wave
function to collapse down to discrete coordinates in space, which fortuitously
happened to be on the other side of the road from the observer!
And this is why the chicken crossed the road.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
There is a whole mess more of these that were written along with, "Why did the
chicken cross the galaxy?" I will consult the wondrous oracle of Oz and get
back to you . . .
This group has a serious problem with chickens. Perhaps Jerry Falwell has a
point!?!
John_Alan_Hartley
>
> WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
>
> Colonel Sanders:
> I missed one?
Don't Forget Bill Clinton
treg
fence ......
Lynn Billington
: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
: Jerry Falwell:
: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
: plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
: side". That's why "they" call it the "other side". Yes, my friends, that
: chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
: say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
: liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
: other
: side". That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain
: and
: simple as that.
: Pat Buchanan:
: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
: Dr. Suess:
: Did the chicken cross the road?
: Did he cross it with a toad?
: Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
: But why it crossed, I've not been told!
: Ernest Hemingway:
: To die. In the rain.
: Martin Luther King Jr.:
: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
: without
: having their motives called into question.
: Grandpa:
: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
: us
: that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
: Aristotle:
: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
: Karl Marx:
: It was a historical inevitability.
: Saddam Hussein:
: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
: dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
: Ronald Reagan:
: What chicken?
: Ken Starr:
: I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the
: President Of The United States Of America in an effort to distract law
: enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal
: wrongdoing
: our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result,
: the
: chicken is just another pawn in the President's ongoing and elaborate
: scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that
: reason,
: my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he
: cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will
: not
: be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation
: and any Congressional followup investigations have been completed. We
: are
: also investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the
: Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort
: to
: discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least
: to
: ruffle his feathers.
: Captain James T. Kirk:
: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
: Fox Mulder:
: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
: have
: to cross before you believe it?
: Sigmond Freud:
: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
: reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
: Bill Gates:
: I have just released eChicken98, which will not only cross roads, but
: will
: lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
: checkbook---and
: Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
: Albert Einstein:
: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
: chicken?
: Bill Clinton:
: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
: Could you define chicken please?
: Louis Farrakhan:
: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
: the
: "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
: The Bible:
: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
: shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
: much
: rejoicing.
: Colonel Sanders:
: I missed one?
--
Lynn Billington, Ph.D.
University of Pittsburgh
Cell Biology and Physiology
Pittsburgh, PA 15126
ph: 412-648-9796
fax: 412-648-8330
e-mail: bil...@pitt.edu
Serenleono
>Bill Clinton:
>I did not cross the road with that chicken.
And the ever-loyal Mrs Clinton would initially dismiss it all as "a
vast chicken wing conspiracy".
--
Seren, pastor of the First Universal Church of Wonkaism.
"If your god can't, or won't, the Candy Man can."