Cyber Monday Puns
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:425269A4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:425247E1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>
> > > > > news:424CDE7F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Reality: Tea with no illusions.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Steady: A constant demon.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Study: Demon who learns.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Study: Handsome male demon.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Taser: Knight with a stun gun.
> > > > >
> > > > > Come up with something about somebody getting a Taser in the
> arse
> and
> > > not
> > > > > feeling it and you'll have a numb bum stun gun pun!
> > > >
> > > > Was this bum the one who tried to rescue Terri Schiavo?
> > > >
> > > I keep reading that name as Terri Sarajevo! Praps it was her who
> started
> > > WW1! She certainly started a legal war in the US. That's why . . .
>
> > >
> > > . . . . wait for it . . . .
> > >
> > > A Ferdiniand is worth two in the Bush!
> > >
> > > http://www.onelook.com/?w=sarajevo&last=sarrayevo&loc=spell1
> >
> > Sara Jevo: A Balkans woman.
> >
> What her Roman ancestor wore: Saratoga.
Sara Bellum: Woman in the pre-Civil War South.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424E4A33...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On Sat, 08 May 2004 03:36:25 +0100, Dougal
> <big...@klanmeetings.co.uk>
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >>>>>> I didn't want you to feel alone and abandoned.
> > > >>>>> I'm not one of your cars Greg.
> > > >>>> Oh no no no, those cars aren't abandoned; they're *restin'*!
> > > >>>> Greg
> > > >>>> pinin' for the Fords
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Gerald and Betty?
> > > >>
> > > >>Model A and T.
> > > >
> > > >You can only get that in black.
> > >
> > > When asked what colors the Model T would be available in Henry
> Ford
> > > said "The Customer Can Have Any Color He Wants So Long As It's
> Black".
> >
> > Afroamerican cars?
>
> For f**k sake stop dropping hyphens!!! They're heavy and they keep
> falling
> on my head!
Hyphen: A fen in the sky.
Tim Bruening
mike wheeELer wrote:
> In article <3FEECBDE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the world
> oddly when:
> >
> >Eden: A home on the Internet.
> >
> >Purgatory: grid rid of those british polly ticks from your hardrive..
>
> >
> >Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.
> >
> >Helmet: Hat of the Devil.
> >
> >Satan: A devil of a sunburn.
> >
> Eden: Home Office on the internet... Hay Nemo! Don't you guys have a
> Home Office over there?
Bobby: Police apine in Great Britain.
Buddy: Demon friend.
Cubby: Young ursine apine.
Chubby: Fat apine
Grubby: Dirty apine.
Tim Bruening
Harden: Solid, funny home.
Laddie: Scottish demon.
Paddy: Irish demon.
Sobby: Crying apine.
Tim Bruening
mike wheeELer wrote:
> In article <3FE698FB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the world
> oddly when:
> >
> >Slicing: Singing butcher knife.
> >
> >Stirring: Ring that rotates.
> >
> >Macing: Singing in the 5th month of the year.
> >
> >Macy: Ocean in the 5th month of the year.
> >
> Slicing: Clever cake frosting (contracted)
Frosting: Cold bell.
Tim Bruening
Pansy: A ocean of cooking utensils.
Spicy: A hot or Chili sea.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3F9CF51E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Hiku: Revolution in the mountains.
> >
> Ditto - curry flavoured:
>
> To the tune of the tune . . .
>
> She'll be cummin round the mountain when she comes.
Fortune: In favor of rich music.
AB: One apine.
AC: One electrical ocean.
AD: One demon.
BA: Arts degrees for a bee.
Tim Bruening
BD or DB: A demon apine.
BJ: A blue bird that buzzes and gives oral sex.:)
BO: Stinky apine.
BP: Oil pumping apine.
Tim Bruening
BQ: Apines cooked on a grill.
BT: Apine beverage.
BTU: Apine unit of energy.
CB: A radio emitting ocean or apine.
Tim Bruening
CD: Ocean or demon recording device.
CO: Ocean that commands.
CP: Ocean of Communists.
CQ: Oceans in line.
Tim Bruening
DC: Ocean of demons or politicians.
DC: Another electrical ocean.
DC: Electrical demon.
DP: Two demons thrown out on the base paths.
Tim Bruening
DU: Demon university.
DU: Uranium demon.
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> To turn back your clock, just go to the customer service desk for a
> replacement.
Hour Hand Smoke: 3,600 time worse than second hand smoke.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3F97613D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3F93AFC0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Comply: Wooden computers.
> > > > >
> > > > > Compact: Small computers.
> > > > >
> > > > > Compact: A computer treaty.
> > > >
> > > > Commune: Leftist computer.
> > > >
> > > Commodore: Love of computers.
> > >
> > > Commodor: Smell of computers.
> > >
> > > Combone: Computer controlled, slide tuned, brass instrument.
> >
> > Commute: Silent computer.
> >
> Commute: A very difficult thing to do in London at the moment with half the
> Tube (Subway) system falling to bits thanks to Tony B'liar and his Private
> Pubic Partnershit!!
Communist: A Red Computer.
Red Potato: A Communist spud.
Supermarket: Where Clark Kent shops.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> After putting 6ft of good, rich, mineral-based soil on his land, a farmer
> got awarded a Deep Loamer.
Loamer: Ocean of fertile soil.
Loaming: Vase of rich soil.
Tim Bruening
Sensing: musical echolocation.
Sentencing: What a singing judge does.
Tim Bruening
Nematode: Worm-toad crossbreed.
Nematoid: Worm robot?
Tim Bruening
Buckingham: A rodeo pig.
Buckingham: Rebellious actor.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40307BFC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Eligible: Bachelor cow.
>
> Or a Destert Rat called Elly.
Ellyrat?
Tim Bruening
Frosty: Tea that freezes.
Glacier: Very cold knight.
Icicle: Very cold bike.
Cold Front: A cover for spies that are still in the cold.
Icing: Cold song.
Ice Code: Code used by secret Santas.
Tim Bruening
"Len S." wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3F91A437...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > > D. Capitated: A headless demon.
> > >
> > > D. Mented: A demon that loves to drive others crazy
> > >
> > > D. Vorak: A musical demon
> > >
> > > D. Lirious: A dizzy demon
> > >
> > > D. Cent: A nice, one penny demon.
> >
> > D. Liver: Demon body organ used as a filter.
> >
> D. Luge a type of sled
D. Bark: Demon dog or demon that strips trees.
Tim Bruening
Alien Plot: Extraterrestrial farm land.
nemo
. . . and full of CQ Cumbers?
nemo
Narr. It's a Desiree. Very tasty! The spud and Ms. Cousteau!
> Supermarket: Where Clark Kent shops.
Sloopermarket: Trendy name for a Ships' Chandlers.
nemo
>
> Sensing: musical echolocation.
>
> Sentencing: What a singing judge does.
If his voice is bad enough, the criminules will get off on appeal, having to
listen to him being adjudged punishment enough!
nemo
>
> Nematode: Worm-toad crossbreed.
>
> Nematoid: Worm robot?
Careful!!! There's a lot of Tim pun knee about! - especially at the back of
orchestras.
nemo
> Bucking: King of the dollars.
>
> Buckingham: A rodeo pig.
>
> Buckingham: Rebellious actor.
Buckinghams: Actors in a cow costume in a pantomime about a rodeo - or under
floodlights, a ronighto!
nemo
Elly Gerbil!
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=gerbil
Accordion to Nina Hussein, Poetic Licenses are available for £25 from all
main Paste Officers!
nemo
Mice Code: Code used by secret rodents
And Morse Code sent in Coarse Mode is very difficult to read.
And if yer listen to teleprinter signals, you can get Baudot of your mind!
nemo
Demons that strip trees? Those are your damned Grey Squirrels! !
They shinned up the Cable TV cables on the walls of our block of
flats/apartments summer before last and ate all the stuff on my balcony,
including my herbs - and there was I left wondering, "Who's been eating *my*
Borage - and eaten it all up!"
We got the buggers by accident and now you hardly ever see our native Red
Squirrels. Praps they're too embarrassed to show their faces!
nemo
> Proper: Price per unit of equipment needed for plays.
>
> Alien Plot: Extraterrestrial farm land.
Gump Chowder, trees on and plot.
Yukon work that one out.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:438B8662...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40307BFC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Eligible: Bachelor cow.
> > >
> > > Or a Destert Rat called Elly.
> >
> > Ellyrat?
>
> Elly Gerbil!
>
> http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=gerbil
>
> Accordion to Nina Hussein, Poetic Licenses are available for £25 from all
> main Paste Officers!
Is Nina a relative of Saddam?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:438B8662...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40307BFC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Eligible: Bachelor cow.
> > >
> > > Or a Destert Rat called Elly.
> >
> > Ellyrat?
>
> Elly Gerbil!
>
> http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=gerbil
>
> Accordion to Nina Hussein, Poetic Licenses are available for £25 from all
> main Paste Officers!
What about in the US?
nemo
King Hussein of Jordan had that name and he was the complete opposite of Sad
Damned, wozn tea?
nemo
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Sensing: musical echolocation.
Sentencing: What a singing judge does.
Nematode: Worm-toad crossbreed.
Nematoid: Worm robot?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
Loaming, in the gloaming
Get's yerr boots all caked with mud! . . .
nemo
> Bucking: King of the dollars.
>
> Buckingham: A rodeo pig.
>
> Buckingham: Rebellious actor.
Cyber Monday? Is he Wizard's brother?
nemo
> Sensing: musical echolocation.
>
> Sentencing: What a singing judge does.
"DaDa - DaDaaa Daaa Dah! Dum! You're gonna hang, you sod . . "?
nemo
> Nematode: Worm-toad crossbreed.
>
> Nematoid: Worm robot?
Oy! Watch it!
Nemarunnemessary!