Magic Johnson Jokes?
AO...@asuacad.bitnet
Fill in the lines and post'm. (be safe,
please protect yourself before posting).
-------
-------
Bill Reid
Okay, against my better judgment, here's mine:
I used to be afraid of getting AIDS, but not anymore, because, hey, I'm
not a famous basketball player.
--
(signed_long) -
William Ernest Reid
Danny Shaw
To many SLAM DUNKS!!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA...
Johnson
>Hey netters, time for Johnson Jokes I'd say.
>Fill in the lines and post'm. (be safe,
>please protect yourself before posting).
>
referring to anything sexually transmitted as the "Magic Johnson Disease".
--
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "Johnson" | Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not |
| joh...@mot.com | out to get you. |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Disclaimer: If Motorola knew I was doing this, they'd fire me. |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Van Snyder
Actually, he got it through his ears, by listening to too many assholes.
--
Van Snyder = vsn...@math.jpl.nasa.gov
r...@sequent.com
>In article <91313.15...@ASUACAD.BITNET> AO...@ASUACAD.BITNET (ao...@asuacad.bitnet) writes:
>>Hey netters, time for Johnson Jokes I'd say.
>>Fill in the lines and post'm. (be safe,
>>please protect yourself before posting).
>>
>Lou Gehrig got a disease named after him, but the AMA will probably balk at
>referring to anything sexually transmitted as the "Magic Johnson Disease".
>--
Yeah, imagine going to the doctor and he tells you you are going to
die from a bad case of "Irving".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
_____
/ \ All opinions are mine, Disclaimer?
/ rip \ all mine, and if you I hardly know her.
|xxx-xxx| don't agree, then,
___|_______|___ BLRPHLPHLPHLPHLTT!!!!!
\~ ~~ ~\
\~~ ~~~\ r...@sequent.com
\ ~~~ \
Help! My karma ran over my dogma, and it can't get up!!
Huckleberry Muffin
>>Hey netters, time for Johnson Jokes I'd say.
>>Fill in the lines and post'm. (be safe,
>>please protect yourself before posting).
The tragedy here is that he didn't have to get aids for
folks to come up with jokes about him. I mean, just think about
that name.
cloyd
--
Cloyd Goodrum III " I've never held an ocean
UNCC Computer Science Department In the palm of my hand "
Charlotte, N.C. -- Nick Drake
unccvax!goo...@mcnc.org
Kirby
-In article <91313.15...@ASUACAD.BITNET> AO...@ASUACAD.BITNET (ao...@asuacad.bitnet) writes:
->>Hey netters, time for Johnson Jokes I'd say.
->>Fill in the lines and post'm. (be safe,
->>please protect yourself before posting).
-
- The tragedy here is that he didn't have to get aids for
-folks to come up with jokes about him. I mean, just think about
-that name. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
-^^^^^^^^^^
-
-
-cloyd
^^^^^
Ditto.
Kirby jki...@ub.d.umn.edu
"If you have a friend whom you know uses grass, and this friend
knows you don't, and he has never offered to turn you on, look
for a new friend. This one doesn't really like you."
-- "A Child's Garden of Grass"
Jack S. Marcolis and Richard Clorfene
Al Donaldson
>->>Hey netters, time for Johnson Jokes I'd say.
Well, OK, its a tough, thankless job, but someone's gotta ask the questions..
Number 1:
Q - What do you get when you have Magic Johnson and four hookers?
A - Regular life expectancy, then four months, four months, four months, four months..
Number 2:
Q - Magic shoots, he scores! But *who* got the assist?
Number 3:
If "CON" is the opposite of "PRO", and Magic clearly was a PRO,
then why did he need to wear a CONdom?
Number 4:
Is this just a dirty trick by Isiah Thomas and Bill Laimbeer
to get on the Olympics team?
Al
Disclaimer -- yes, what happened to Magic was sad.. I still like the
man very much and enjoyed watching him play. But he didn't get it
from a toilet seat or a blood transfusion, so lighten up, everyone..
As the old saying goes, if you live by the sword (so to speak..),
then you may die by the sword.
Robert G. Newton
Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
done for the game will never be forgotten. Just because the man has
contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead, and it does
not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
are not a joking matter. What if it happened to you, would you like
people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
some peace.
>-------
Eric G.
>I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Earvin
>Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
>done for the game will never be forgotten. Just because the man has
>contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead, and it does
>not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
>are not a joking matter. What if it happened to you, would you like
>people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
>some peace.
>>-------
Well I too believe that AIDS is no joking matter, and I do feel bad
about what happened to him, but he _is_ no saint. There are people
much worse off than him. For example people who contract HIV from
transfusions are truly victims. People who are not affected first
hand about certain tragedies show limited remorse, so if the "joke"
is more funny than the curcumstances surrounding the joke, you will
get a laugh instead of pity. A better example would be to tell you
that my older brother committed suicide, therefore I don't find humor
in jokes regarding suicide. Someone who has not yet been victimized
by such a tragedy would probably see nothing wrong with a suicide
joke, be it funny or not. In other words, I might have a joke that
suits you but not someone else. I believe that is the purpose of this
group. I'm sure that 98% of the posts sent here _someone_ will get a
kick out of ( except Minas' jokes (who ?!?)).
OBJ: 27... Oh, I guess you've heard it before.
Steve Lindsey
Did you know that Magic Johnson was born in Michigan, but reared in LA?
Steve Lindsey * If marriage was outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws!
(407) 242-4766 * "If the shoe fits, buy it!" quote from my wife
"Jesse Jackson don't know how to run nuthin' but his mouth!" Marion Barry
Samuel Stoddard
Seconded.
--
==============================================================================
--Sam. s...@kepler.unh.edu Preview of coming attractions:
___________________________________ A brand new .sig!
| W A S T E D S P A C E | Coming to a newsgroup near
|___________________________________| YOU!
Samuel Stoddard
>
>OBJ: 27... Oh, I guess you've heard it before.
No, but have you heard 42 ???
T.G.
>I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Earvin
>people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
>some peace.
>>-------
When is your NEXT sermon going to be, FATHER Newton ;-) ;-)
Michael Lane Wilson
|> In article <1991Nov14....@oz.plymouth.edu>, r_ne...@oz.plymouth.edu (Robert G. Newton) writes...
|> >In article <91313.15...@ASUACAD.BITNET> ao...@asuacad.bitnet <AO...@ASUACAD.BITNET> writes:
|> >>Hey netters, time for Johnson Jokes I'd say.
|> >>Fill in the lines and post'm. (be safe,
|> >>please protect yourself before posting).
|> >>
|> >>-------
|> >I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Earvin
|> >Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
|> >done for the game will never be forgotten. Just because the man has
|> >contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead, and it does
|> >not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
|> >are not a joking matter. What if it happened to you, would you like
|> >some peace.
|> >>-------
|> >
|> > Amen and touche!!
Ok, call me weird and eccentric, but yes, I'd love for people
to make jokes about my demise, whether impending or already over.
Laughing in the face of death is something I consider one of mankind's
greater achievements, and if I suddenly discovered I was positive for
HIV, I'd damn well start the jokes rolling myself. While I'd probably
spend some very sleepless nights terrified of what might happen, I'd
probably be happiest and most secure when laughing at it.
And even after death, who wants to be the cause of a lot of
sadness? No thank you, if I'm going to make a lot of people unhappy
when I die, I'll pass on death. 8^) Besides, does anyone here know
what a wake originally was? It wasn't a chance to mourn the dead, it
was supposed to be a wild party, to celebrate the life of the departed.
--
___________________________ |
| | | Mike Wilson, the Hierarch:
| No Sig is a Good Sig. | | Wil...@rpi.edu
|_________________________| | Michael...@mts.rpi.edu
Thomas Omar Smith
It was getting a piece that caused him the problem in the first place.
Tom the non hacker
On a one man crusade to
help the humour impaired.
Technical Manuscript Specialist
r...@sequent.com
Isn't that what got him in trouble in the first place? Wasn't he out
getting a piece when he contracted the HIV virus?
Van Snyder
>Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
>done for the game will never be forgotten. Just because the man has
>contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead,
Why don't we abbreviate this to HIVV, so people can say HIVV virus?
Ted Shred
I think he probably needs a little humor in his life.....And you need to
CHILL!
Flame me, I'm getting used to it.
EIV...@cms.cc.wayne.edu
> The tragedy here is that he didn't have to get aids for
>folks to come up with jokes about him.
He has the aids virus, not aids. Maybe the tragedy is how homophobia has
prevented persons from understanding current events. Given that, where's the
the jokes you mentioned? Better yet, keep them to yourself.
>I mean, just think about
>that name.
>
>cloyd
>--
>Cloyd Goodrum III " I've never held an ocean
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Now THAT'S a funny name!
>UNCC Computer Science Department In the palm of my hand "
>Charlotte, N.C. -- Nick Drake
>unccvax!goo...@mcnc.org
--Eric
JHAR...@cmsa.gmr.com
I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Earvin
Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
done for the game will never be forgotten. Just because the man has
contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead, and it does
not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
are not a joking matter. What if it happened to you, would you like
people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
some peace.
>I believe that Magic had one piece too many. I doubt that he
>reads this net, but in any case where were you when other AIDS jokes
>were posted? If he does read this "I'm sorry Magic that you chose
>to screw thousands of women and carelessly got HIV. I hope you
>lead a long and prosperous life. It really wasn't your fault."
Josh Fielek
|> In article <1991Nov14....@oz.plymouth.edu> r_ne...@oz.plymouth.edu (Robert G. Newton) writes:
|> >In article <91313.15...@ASUACAD.BITNET> ao...@asuacad.bitnet <AO...@ASUACAD.BITNET> writes:
|> >>Hey netters, time for Johnson Jokes I'd say.
|> >>Fill in the lines and post'm. (be safe,
|> >>please protect yourself before posting).
|> >>
|> >>-------
|> >I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Earvin
|> >Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
|> >done for the game will never be forgotten. Just because the man has
|> >contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead, and it does
|> >not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
|> >are not a joking matter. What if it happened to you, would you like
|> >people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
|> >some peace.
|>
|> Seconded.
Just think about the nickname...
"Hi honey... How'd you like to see my magic Johnson?"
So... Does it do tricks?
J. Fielek
Mine doesn't do tricks :-(
GJB...@psuvm.psu.edu
So, the question is, HOW did he get it?
Larry's Bird.
- Shazam
caf...@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Q: How could you tell if a pretty lady just farted?
A: If her panty hose swells up!
caf...@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
A: None. Their government does it for them.
Note: This is not intended to make fun of deaf, since I'm deaf myself...and this is only a test, by the way...
FFFFFFF
F Craig Flannagan
F oooooo x x y y Rochester Institute of Technology
FFFFF o o x x y y 30 Lowental Rd. CPU #2717
F o o x y y Rochester, N.Y. 14623-5669 \ / Peace.
F o o x x y thru 1-800-662-1220 then to \ /
F oooooo x x y 716-475-FOXY - | |
yyyy May the Peace be with You. | |
Terry Carroll
> Ok, call me weird and eccentric, but yes, I'd love for people
>to make jokes about my demise, whether impending or already over.
>Laughing in the face of death is something I consider one of mankind's
>greater achievements, and if I suddenly discovered I was positive for
>HIV, I'd damn well start the jokes rolling myself. While I'd probably
>spend some very sleepless nights terrified of what might happen, I'd
>probably be happiest and most secure when laughing at it.
> And even after death, who wants to be the cause of a lot of
>sadness? No thank you, if I'm going to make a lot of people unhappy
>when I die, I'll pass on death. 8^) Besides, does anyone here know
>what a wake originally was? It wasn't a chance to mourn the dead, it
>was supposed to be a wild party, to celebrate the life of the departed.
I agree. My dad made a few cancer jokes after his diagnosis and before his
death. Well, I guess the "before his death" part goes without saying. He
didn't say much after.
--
The above is my thoughts, not my employer's; Terry Carroll 408/992-2152
The above is not legal advice; tj...@amail.amdahl.com (preferred)
All models over 18 years of age. tj...@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com
Terry Carroll
>
>Just think about the nickname...
>
>"Hi honey... How'd you like to see my magic Johnson?"
>
>So... Does it do tricks?
>
>J. Fielek
>Mine doesn't do tricks :-(
No? Mine sits up and begs.
Julie Kozaczka Stahlhut
There are certainly precedents for actually TELLING tasteless jokes
on the net, but why not take the solemn discussion of whether or not
AIDS jokes are appropriate to rec.humor.d?
--
Julie Kozaczka Stahlhut
"I'm not especially responsible but it's not my employer's fault."
Andy Soravilla
#>|> >Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
#>|> >done for the game will never be forgotten. Just because the man has
#>|> >contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead, and it does
#>|> >not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
#>|> >are not a joking matter. What if it happened to you, would you like
#>|> >people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
#>|> >some peace.
#>|> Seconded.
#>Yeah, we don't need any AIDS jokes.
Where were you during "dead baby" jokes, "quadraplegic" jokes, "homosexual"
jokes, "religous" jokes and "sexual discrimination" jokes. You don't like it,
hit "n" or don't read this group. Otherwise lighten up on the hypocrisy.
Andy
Ron Phillips
>people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
>some peace.
Me thinks the man had one to many pieces already!
-
-
-
-
--
*****************************************************************
*Ron Phillips {ingr,uunet,atari}!dazixca!ronp *
*DAZIX / An Intergraph Company ro...@dazixca.ingr.com *
*222 Caspian Drive VOICE: (408) 747-7980 *
*Sunnyvale, CA 94089 FAX: (408) 747-7572 *
*****************************************************************
Vick De Giorgio
> ^^^^^^^^^
>Why don't we abbreviate this to HIVV, so people can say HIVV virus?
'Cause then we'd have to abbreviate _that_ to HIVVV, and folks would
still say HIVVV virus.
See also: loop, infinite...
=V=
--
Vick De Giorgio - vic...@vicstoy.UUCP
UUCP - {ucf-cs,peora,uunet}!tarpit!bilver!vicstoy!vickde
- vicstoy Public Access Unix, Orlando FL
- (407)299-3661 1200/2400/9600 V.32 24 hours 8N1
BACS Data Communications Group
#>|> >Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
#>|> >and give the man peace.
#>|> Seconded.
#>Yeah, we don't need any AIDS jokes.
>Where were you during "dead baby" jokes, "quadraplegic" jokes, "homosexual"
>jokes, "religous" jokes and "sexual discrimination" jokes. You don't like it,
>hit "n" or don't read this group. Otherwise lighten up on the hypocrisy.
>Andy
And let's not forget PeeWee Herman, who heroically sacrificed his
career to teach us about Safe Sex! *(:_)
--
Frank re...@ucs.indiana.edu
Ron Dippold
Oh no! The appropriateness patrol!
>Earvin Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and
> what he has done for the game will never be forgotten.
Hell, now he's been immortalized. Or is that sodomized?
>Just because the man has
>contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead,
This misconception may be spread by those who have smelled a pro ball
player immediately following a big game.
>and it does not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV
>and AIDS are not a joking matter.
Such faith in the unsubstantiated. It is a joking matter, or
people wouldn't tell so many jokes about it. It doesn't matter how
you feel about it.
>What if it happened to you, would you like people to make up jokes about
>you??
Go for it.
>Just chill out and give the man some peace.
Yes, every Johnson joke you post transfers itself directly to his
karma and burdens him further. He may have his peace, or at least be
resting in it, in a few years, so your delicate sensibilities can
remain intact.
--
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent-
it says so right here on the label.
Silkworm
Magic Johnsons is a celebrity, hense a valid target for jokes.
Criticism. He get's the coverage, hell when they first
announced it, I never heard the end. For four days he was the
talk on every news broadcast, Magic this, Magic that. If he's
gonna get that much media and attention hell yeah jokes are
alright... Haven't you ever said "Grin and Bear It"...
After all, jokes are jokes,.. they are only what you make of
them... In the past few weeks I've seen every blond joke made.
If you were blond you might get mad. I see a Magic Johnson/AIDS
joke, you get mad.... Do you have aids? Think about it.
Jokes are only what you make of them. If you wanna get pissed
you're gonna get pissed. If you let is pass, it'll pass....
In other words... TAKE A CHILL PILL...
--
Silkworm
"Why Are We Here...? Because We Are Here."
"Why Does It Happen.? Because It Happenes.." -Neil Peart
John M. Cates
>Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
>contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead, and it does
>not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
>people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
>some peace.
>>-------
Yeah, right. Reality check. This is rec.humor, and anything goes.
The way we deal with things that scare us in the world is laugh at them.
So if you dont like it go somewhere else.
JC
Matt Hucke
>>
>>-------
>I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Earvin
>Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
Who cares if he was the greatest basketball player ever? Does that make
him somehow a better person than everyone else? Get a life...
OBJ: A Polish airplane was landing at an airport. The pilots had never
been here before. The captain said to the copilot "That runway looks very
short... I'm going to have to go in at a steeper angle." A few minutes later,
the copilot observes that the runway was even shorter than they thought, and
advises an even steeper descent. When they finally land, the copilot turns
to the captain and says "that was incredible. I've never seen a runway so
short." The captain replies, "Yes, but look how *wide* it is!!"
--
Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche.
hu...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu
C++ forever, P*scal never!
Matt Hucke
>Why don't we abbreviate this to HIVV, so people can say HIVV virus?
Because the first V already means Virus. (Human Immunodeficiency Virus, or
something like that...) It's a bit like PIN Number.
Tom Koziatek
>>In article <91313.15...@ASUACAD.BITNET> ao...@asuacad.bitnet <AO...@ASUACAD.BITNET> writes:
>>>Hey netters, time for Johnson Jokes I'd say.
>>>Fill in the lines and post'm. (be safe,
>>>please protect yourself before posting).
>>>
>>I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Earvin
>>Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
>>contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead, and it does
>>not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
>>are not a joking matter. What if it happened to you, would you like
>>people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
>>some peace.
>
I think this is rec.humor. What group were you trying for ? I have had numerous
tragedies with the near and dear, yet I still crack jokes about those subjects.
Lighten up a bit, or read somewhere else.
Ob Joke:
Why are Mexican low-rider steering wheels only about 6 inches in diameter ??
So they can drive with their handcuffs on !
-Tom
Jerry Partovich
i guess irvin didn't really have a magic "johnson"?
Daniel DuBois
he knew that shmoo, that was the joke! he was making fun of people who say hiv virus
James Preston
}There are certainly precedents for actually TELLING tasteless jokes
}on the net, but why not take the solemn discussion of whether or not
}AIDS jokes are appropriate to rec.humor.d?
Hey, where's the joke in that? What's funny about that? Is that a
discussion? Don't you know that there's a newsgroup SPECIFICALLY for
DISCUSSIONS about jokes? It's called rec.humor.d, the .d is for DISCUSSION,
get it? THIS is rec.humor, that's HUMOR, as in funny, as in what there
ain't none of in your posting so why the hell did you post it in the
HUMOR group where it doesn't belong, huh?
}Julie Kozaczka Stahlhut
Whoops, I guess there WAS something funny in your post after all.
Never mind.
--James Preston
Nawaab of Lucknow
James Preston
}I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Blah,
}blah, blah, you've seen it repeated so many times in the scores of
}postings responding to it that you've probably got it memorized by now.
I just gotta add to the throng disagreeing with you. I had a friend
who recently died of AIDS and I still find such jokes funny. Jeez,
I say if we can't laugh at death we're better off dead.
Objoke: I'm not doing an objoke because I WANT to get one of those
obnoxious emails from some self-appointed guardian of rec.humor who
feels it his duty to admonish all who dare to post something that fails
his test of what's funny.
--James Preston
Shortboy
Stuff Deleted!
>
>Ob Joke:
>
>Why are Mexican low-rider steering wheels only about 6 inches in diameter ??
>
>So they can drive with their handcuffs on !
>
> -Tom
Excuse me... I think this wrong. Or I heard it in a diff way.
Why do Mexican low-riders use those small chain steering wheels?
So they can drive with their handcuffs on!!!!!
____________________________________________________________________________
/ shr...@triton.unm.edu | | Yeah... anyway... Back on Earth! \
* University of New Mexico | | "Eat my shorts!" - Bart Simpson *
\__________________________|______________|__________________________________/
riv...@dev8j.mdcbbs.com
>>I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Earvin
>>Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
>>done for the game will never be forgotten. Just because the man has
>>contracted the HIV virus does not mean that he is dead,
> Why don't we abbreviate this to HIVV, so people can say HIVV virus?
The "V" in HIV stands for "virus", so HIV Virus is Human Immunodeficiancy
Virus Virus. That's redundant redundancy. So, your idea to say "HIVV virus"
translates as "Human Immunodeficiancy Virus Virus Virus", or even
more redundant redundant redundancy! Okay?
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
| Michael Rivero riv...@dev8.mdcbbs.com "A Predator, and proud of it!" |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
| The Power Elite(tm) will never worry about the answers, |
| as long as they can keep tricking us into asking the wrong questions! |
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Andrew Scott Beals, KC6SSS
r_ne...@oz.plymouth.edu (Robert G. Newton) writes a typical
New Englander rant.
>I do not believe that Magic Johnson quotes are appropriate. Earvin
>Johnson is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever and what he has
Q: What's pink, 18 inches long, and makes a grown woman scream?
A: Crib death.
-----
Q: What does GAY stand for?
A: Got Aids Yet?
-----
Q: What kind of meat does a Roman Catholic Priest eat on Friday?
A: Nun!
-----
Q: How can you tell when a feminist has an orgasm?
A: Who cares?
-----
Q: What will reunit the Beatles?
A: Three more bullets!
-----
Q: Have you heard about Evel Kenevel's newest and most dangerous stunt?
A: Riding across Ethiopia with a chicken strapped to his motorcycle.
-----
Q: Did you hear about Miss Biafra's measurements?
A: 20-22-20
-----
Q: Did you hear about the new Soviet BBQ joint where you don't have to pay?
A: It's called Char-No-Bill
-----
Q: How does a WASP propose marriage?
A: "How would you like to be buried with my people?"
-----
Q: What does a JAP say during orgasm?
A: "Charge it to daddy!"
-----
Q: What goes: RUUM! SCREE! RUUM! SCREE! RUUM! SCREE! ...
A: A blonde at a flashing red light.
-----
Q: Why does a Sorority Girl wear underwear?
A: To keep her ankles warm during sex.
-----
Q: What does an Irish-Catholic wife say during sex?
A: "Honey, I think you should paint the ceiling beige."
-----
Q: What's the difference between an Italian Grandmother and an elephant?
A: Fifty pounds and a black dress.
-----
Q: What do you get when you cross a Puerto Rican and a Mormon?
A: Someone with a thirty-day supply of stolen food in their basement.
-----
Q: What do you get when you cross a white woman with a black man?
A: An abortion.
-----
Q: Why won't Mexicans let their children marry Puerto Ricans?
A: Because their children would be too lazy to steal.
-----
Q: How do chinese women name their children?
A: They throw the silverware down the stairs and name them after the sound.
-----
Q: What do you call a Vietnamese family with one dog?
A: Poor.
Q: What do you call a Vietnamese family with two dogs?
A: Ranchers.
--
Andrew Scott Beals abe...@autodesk.com, kc6sss@n6eeg.#nocal.ca.usa.na
147.300MHz+, 440.900MHz+ [ctcss 114.8Hz]
Vivu libere a>u mortu!
Alan Silverstein
Relax...
"Life is too important to take seriously." -- Corky Siegel
Humor is always appropriate as long as it's *funny* -- ideally to
everyone -- alas, so little humor fits the bill.
OBJ: The three laws of thermodynamics restated: You can't win, you
can't break even, and you can't get out of the game. And a fourth I
saw recently on the Net: It gets worse under pressure.
Boerge Berg Olsen
--
//// Boerge Berg-Olsen // Email : bor...@stud.cs.uit.no /
/// IMR // Pardon me if I rock back and forth //
// Universety of Tromsoe // and make strange moaning noises. ///
/ N-9000 Tromsoe, Norway // Phone : +47 083 39224 ////
Jonggu Moon [890911]
>not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
>are not a joking matter. What if it happened to you, would you like
>people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
>some peace.
I agree ! And the same goes for Korean jokes.
The Korean's have been through alot of pain and suffering.
First the mongolian invasions, then the Japanese shamefull and
barbaric occupation when they treated Koreans like toys to be
slaughtered for ammusement, then world war II and finaly the Korean War.
And then some people have the audacity to make jokes that belittle
their terrible experiences ! It shocks me to no end. THIS IS NO LAUGHING
MATTER and anyone who makes jokes about koreans should be castrated
and fed to homeless orangutangs.
By the way, do any of you know any good Korean jokes ?
- Jong Gu Moon
^>*<^ Crimson Rom Productions (c)MCMXCI <>< Pr 26:19 _)__ ^>*<^
Consolations, Consultations, Conflagrations |__--\
jm...@ns.cc.lehigh.edu, jm...@lehi3b15.csee.lehigh.edu _______|___\
___________-------/_______/ ../
|-o-| __________---------.. . .. ../____________/. /| ///\\
|-o-| ===____________====================================\| -o-o-
------------___/~~~~~\_______________\ ( o )
<-o-> "Is this the place for an argument ? I told you once." / \
Kurt Kyle
>In article <1991Nov18.2...@exu.ericsson.se> exu...@exu.ericsson.se (Tom Koziatek) writes:
>
> Stuff Deleted!
>>Why are Mexican low-rider steering wheels only about 6 inches in diameter ??
>
>Why do Mexican low-riders use those small chain steering wheels?
>
>So they can drive with their handcuffs on!!!!!
Being a newbe, and of Mexican-Irish heritage (that's Mexi-rish to you,
or Iri-can), I am reluctant to start anything. I ask however if you
are going to start a thread on either Mexican or Irish humor, and
you are going to bring up ancient jokes, I ask that you remember
these gems :) :
What is a Mexican prostitute called?
Frejole (that's free-hole-lay)
What do you call a small Mexican?
A speck
Why is there no Mexican Olympic Team?
Anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already here!
What is the Mexican phone system called?
Taco Bell
What is a Mexican baptism called?
A bean dip
Why were there only one thousand Mexicans at the Alamo?
They only had one Chevy (pronounced Cheby)
Como estas frejole? That's "how you bean" in spanish.
Well, los bye-bye. That's spanish for adios.
Kurt
Catsup/Kvetch Up/Catch Up/Cat Soup/Ketchup
I could have sworn it was called "salsa".
PS No sig, have to wait till I can steal one.
Andy Soravilla
*>Q: What does GAY stand for?
*>Q: What kind of meat does a Roman Catholic Priest eat on Friday?
*>Q: How can you tell when a feminist has an orgasm?
*>Q: What will reunit the Beatles?
*>Q: Have you heard about Evel Kenevel's newest and most dangerous stunt?
*>Q: Did you hear about Miss Biafra's measurements?
*>Q: Did you hear about the new Soviet BBQ joint where you don't have to pay?
*>Q: How does a WASP propose marriage?
*>Q: What does a JAP say during orgasm?
*>Q: What goes: RUUM! SCREE! RUUM! SCREE! RUUM! SCREE! ...
*>Q: Why does a Sorority Girl wear underwear?
*>Q: What does an Irish-Catholic wife say during sex?
*>Q: What's the difference between an Italian Grandmother and an elephant?
*>Q: What do you get when you cross a Puerto Rican and a Mormon?
*>Q: What do you get when you cross a white woman with a black man?
*>Q: Why won't Mexicans let their children marry Puerto Ricans?
*>Q: How do chinese women name their children?
*>Q: What do you call a Vietnamese family with one dog?
*>Q: What do you call a Vietnamese family with two dogs?
Offensive to everything and everybody!!!!
Remove it immediately!!
Andy
samuel.saal
>In article <1991Nov14....@oz.plymouth.edu> r_ne...@oz.plymouth.edu (Robert G. Newton) writes:
>>not mean that people need to make up jokes about him. HIV and AIDS
>>are not a joking matter. What if it happened to you, would you like
>>people to make up jokes about you?? Just chill out and give the man
>>some peace.
>I agree ! And the same goes for Korean jokes.
>The Korean's have been through alot of pain and suffering.
>First the mongolian invasions, then the Japanese shamefull and
>barbaric occupation when they treated Koreans like toys to be
>slaughtered for ammusement, then world war II and finaly the Korean War.
>And then some people have the audacity to make jokes that belittle
>their terrible experiences ! It shocks me to no end. THIS IS NO LAUGHING
>MATTER and anyone who makes jokes about koreans should be castrated
>and fed to homeless orangutangs.
>By the way, do any of you know any good Korean jokes ?
>- Jong Gu Moon
Awwwww, C'mon. Any country that produces _both_ Hyudais (sp?) _and_
Sun Myung Moon, has _got_ to be a joke.
Ooops. Any relation?
OBJ:
Abe meets his friend Isaac on the street.
Isaac: Abe, why are you looking so sad?
Abe: It's my son. I sent him off to college, and now he
has come back home, all full of Gentile ideas. Where
did I go wrong?
Isaac: Funny you should mention it! My son, too, has come
home from college, with his head all messed up,
filled with Gentile ideas...There is but one course
open to us. We will ask the Rabbi. So they go to
the Synagogue, and obtain an audience with the Rabbi.
Both: Rabbi, our two sons, whom we have raised to be devout
followers of the Law, have come home from college,
full of Gentile ideas. What can we do about it?
Rabbi Bernstein: Funny you should mention it! My son also
has come back from college, with all sorts of Gentile
ideas.
I assure you my friends, this problem is beyond human
solution. We must go into the place of worship and
pray.
The three go in and spread their hands in supplication to
the Lord. No sooner have they articulated their common
lament than the lights go out, the building is filled with
cloud and smoke, and a thunderous voice answers them "FUNNY
YOU SHOULD MENTION IT...."
--
Sam Saal ...!{att}!somerset!saal OR sa...@somerset.att.com
Vayiftach HaShem et Peah Ha`Aton
Mike Melnyk
jokes have been changed accordingly.
Q: What do M*g*c J*hns*n and Len Bias have in common?
A: They both got into some bad crack.
Q: What did M*g*c J*hns*n's wife say to him after the first time they
made love?
A: You're no Wilt Chamberlain.
n.b. Don't flame me; I would be hurt by your criticism... NOT!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Melnyk r...@ipac.caltech.edu
Infrared Processing and Analysis Center
JPL/Caltech
The Ghost in The Machine
>
>Q: Have you heard about Evel Kenevel's newest and most dangerous stunt?
>
>A: Riding across Ethiopia with a chicken strapped to his motorcycle.
>
Casper
--
"......And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon......"
-Roger Waters
Michael K. Harris
Q. What do Len Bias and Magic Johnson have in common?
A. They both got into some bad crack.
Q. What does Magic stand for?
A. My Ass Got Infected Coach.
Flame if you will but they're just jokes. :)
Mike
Thomas Omar Smith
What do you get when you cross a black and a Polack?
A kid who spray paints his name on chain link fences.
Tom the non hacker
callitf...@aol.com
> Hey netters, time for Johnson Jokes I'd say.
> Fill in the lines and post'm. (be safe,
> please protect yourself before posting).
>
> -------
>
magic is a ni... ce person
