Hell - Cold or Hot?

[Gail Feliciant]

I'm told this is a true story:

A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home
exam for his graduate students. It had one question.

Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer
with a proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote
the following:

"First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have
some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also
have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell
and at what rate are souls leaving" I think that we can
safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls
entering hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since
there are more than one of these religions and people
do not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell.
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the
mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

&1 So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature
and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks
loose.

&2 Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster
than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature
and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given me
by Theresa Banyan during Freshman year, and take into
account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then &2 cannot be
true, and hell is exothermic."

The student got an A.