November 12 Puns
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41C4F010...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41C29AD6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Randolf Richardson wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:41B80556...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >> Baker: Pastry dog.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Gawker: Tourist dog.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Kayacker: Dog with oars.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Knocker: A door to door salesdog.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Panicker: Frightened dog.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Picnicker: Dog out for fun in the sun.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Picker: Dog harvesting crops.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Staker: Barky the Dog Vampire Slayer.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Stalker: A procrastinating dog.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Starker: Famous dog actor.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Stoker: Dog tending a fire.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Streaker: Nude dog.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Striker: Dog on a union picket line.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Striker: Dog pitching ace.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> Sucker: Dog lollipop.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sticker: Sellotape Sealyham.
> > > > >
> > > > > Sticky: A wooden key.
> > > >
> > > > Balky: Spheroid key.
> > > >
> > > > Chalky: Key to a blackboard, or an Afro-American board.
> > > >
> > > > Donkey: Mafia key.
> > > >
> > > > Faulty: Tea that shakes.
> > > >
> > > > Hickey: Key that bites.
> > > >
> > > > Inky: Key to a pen.
> > > >
> > > > Jerky: Obnoxious key.
> > > >
> > > > Lucky: Key that wins lotteries.
> > > >
> > > > Monk-Key: Religious primate that preaches a key.
> > > >
> > > > Perky: Price of a locksmith.
> > > >
> > > Parky: Schlussel to warmer weather.
> > >
> > > (It *is* tricky sometimes to avoid using part of the pun word in the
> > > definition!)
> >
> > Risky: Adventurous key.
> >
> Pinkey: Operates a barrel-type lock.
Pinkey: Communist key.
nemo
Hankey Pankey: Unlocks the cupboard where randy people lock away the linen
cloths they use to clean their cooking pots.
As in the well known WW2 nursery rhyme spoof . . .
Jack and Jill went up the hill
For a bit of Hankey Pankey.
Jill came down with Half-a-Crown -
He must have been a Yankee!
Tim Bruening
nemo
marika
Congratulations on your recent publicity!
Now who knows what will ever happen with this site?
Good luck!
mk
"A man may be very industrious, and yet not spend his time well. There is
no
more fatal blunderer than he who consumes the greater part of life getting
his living." -Henry David Thoreau
kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca
Funky: Opens the gates to the amusement park.
Ranky: The key to offensive, dysfunctional management.
Turn-key: Opens the other door (like "turning the other cheek").
marika
ok
I just read it it was great
i have a steady stream of stuff for today alone that I might post on keys
rest of the cast later this week
--
> Alex Ingram - "Tomorrow's Just Another Day"
kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca
Does that mean you're the "ring" leader?
nemo
<kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca> wrote in message
news:1164015583.4...@b28g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
marika
you should be careful not to propose anything to me with jewelry
kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca
I can't bear the thought of hunting you down to don you with such a
burden. Are you already "single"d out, by the way?
marika
I have no idea how to answer that question, but I think th answer is that
I am single.
Greg Evans
> ... I am single.
A suave lady-killer like you??? Go on!
marika
Why waste time with mythology when you can have apocrypha
kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca
Sorry, I wasn't being serious (and I assumed you weren't either). Just
to clear up any possible misunderstanding (and hopefully open more
opportunities for additional puns), I'm very happily married. Good
luck in your search though.
marika
I wasn't searching, it's a poor assumption.
I knew you weren't being serious, I just honestly didn't have a clue how
to answer the question in a humourous way
Greg Evans
> I just honestly didn't have a clue how to answer
> the question in a humourous way
NO - really??
SummersFrenzy
Oh, *you've* never been speechless . . .
Greg Evans
>>> I just honestly didn't have a clue how to answer
>>> the question in a humourous way
>> NO - really??
>
> Oh, *you've* never been speechless . . .
Not that consistently, no.
marika
boggle
--
"We're putting it
out ourselves,until we can find a distributor."--Jack Douglas
kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca
Darn it! That Imp lied to me again! Please accept my appologies.
> I knew you weren't being serious, I just honestly didn't have a clue how
> to answer the question in a humourous way
It was a good answer; I didn't know that puns always had to be
humourous. =)
nemo
<kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca> wrote in message
news:1164221234.6...@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
Grammar tickle tip:
http://www.onelook.com/?w=don&ls=a
Don. verb: put clothing on one's body (Example: "The princess donned a
long blue dress")
Book 'im, Danu!!
marika
well if it wuz clinton...
but it says Don so it's gotta either be mafiosi or one of those school
masters in Uk
In light of this, I know you didn't miss the
--Barenaked Ladies who performed on the season opener of
the WB's "Charmed."
>
> Book 'im, Danu!!
>
>
this is a cool idea
--
"It'd be cool to have 2 people dressed up as the
2 winners
come and make acceptance speeches, shake hands, etc. My
goal for this is reading promotion, school-wide
participation in one
fun activity, personalization of what goes into
campaigning and
politics, and fun, fun, fun for the kids."--
Kimberly Karnes
Parkwood Elementary School
nemo
"marika" <mce...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:op.tjk5g...@dialup-4.248.227.159.dial1.washington2.level3.net...
The more fun you can bring to school the better. I started school in 1952
and it was a miserable place. Humour was almost a capital offence - except
when a teacher cracked a lame joke - then not laughing was a capital
offence!
Plenty of people with that same attitude still about. We had a storeman at
work who was always saying, "Why can't you be serious?" to people. He said
it to me once and I replied, "Because it's serious people who cause all the
trouble!" He shut up after that!
BTW. I brought a little humour to a prize-giving ceremony when I came top in
mathS one year. No idea how. I hated mathS. Still do!
Anyway - there was a choice of prizes and I chose a nice Henley Solon 65Watt
soldering iron which was supposed to be the metalwork prize. The looks on
the faces assembled dignitaries' faces when the Mayor of St. Pancras (it's
Camden now) handed it to me were priceless.
marika
too entirely funny -- a soldering iron. They'd certainly have placed
their hopes on your being their next star pupil or something but you
disappointed them and suggested a trade school.
Did ya build anything interesting with it?
nemo
<kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca> wrote in message
news:1164360023.3...@j72g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Quick definitions (pun)
# noun: a humorous play on words (Example: "I do it for the pun of it")
# verb: make a play on words (Example: "Japanese like to pun--their
language is well suited to punning")
# name: A surname (very rare: popularity rank in the U.S.: #31307)
I bet the very rare owners or the surname (very rare) all learned to fight
very early on at school!
marika
nemo wrote:
> # name: A surname (very rare: popularity rank in the U.S.: #31307)
>
> I bet the very rare owners or the surname (very rare) all learned to fight
> very early on at school!
What sort of surname is upside down Loeie
mk5000
"And if the truth hasnt been told
So i sey
Now say these are some serious times
All i can see around us is violence and crime"--gyptian
kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca
> nemo wrote:
> > # name: A surname (very rare: popularity rank in the U.S.: #31307)
> >
> > I bet the very rare owners or the surname (very rare) all learned to fight
> > very early on at school!
>
> What sort of surname is upside down Loeie
Have you heard the song about A Boy Named Sue [0]?
It was sure nice of Johnny Cash to help a friend pay the IRS, although
it must've been a very taxing effort.
[0] Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/johnnycash/aboynamedsue.html
nemo
I hated maths and I only came top with 51%. The rest of the class were crap!
The lad who came bottom got 8%.
I loved electronics however and was just getting started in it, so I put it
to good use. I've still got it and it's only had one new element and a new
bit in all those years.
They said I was a right nuisance because after I chose it, they had to go
out and buy a fresh metalwork prize!
There were three maths books to choose from. Boredom unlimited!
I still hate maths and with the aid of a very good calculator, I only use
applied maths when I absolutely have to. I treat it like a tool. To some
people including some of the teachers at school, it was a bloody religion!
I built plenty of things, including a six-transistor superhet radio - very
advanced for those days - which I took into the woodwork class to build a
cabinet for.
That raised a few eyebrows, particularly amongst the few conceited little
boffin types who thought you needed a posh accent to be clever and were
still messing about with two and three transistor straight sets and
super-regeneratives using Government Surplus red spot (audio) and white spot
(RF) transistors and the balanced-armature transducers from army tank
headphones as loudspeakers.
I've been in the electronics industry most of my life now and the last major
thing I built for the home was the security system for this flat. It's
getting a bit old in the tooth now and I'll be starting on a nice up-to-date
replacement soon - probably next March when me pension and lump sum come
through.
nemo
"marika" <marik...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1164606671.3...@j72g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> nemo wrote:
> > # name: A surname (very rare: popularity rank in the U.S.: #31307)
> >
> > I bet the very rare owners or the surname (very rare) all learned to
fight
> > very early on at school!
>
> What sort of surname is upside down Loeie
>
> mk5000
Looks more like a phone number. 21207!
>
> "And if the truth hasnt been told
> So i sey
> Now say these are some serious times, so . . .
Yes! We have no bananas!
We have no bananas today!!
We've broad beans like bunions, cabBAges and onions,
And all kinds of fruit and say -
We have an old fashioned tomato;
A nice Jersey potato, but,
Yes! We have no bananas!
We have no bananas today!
Welllll - it's more cheerful, innit?
nemo
<kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca> wrote in message
news:1164620516.7...@45g2000cws.googlegroups.com...
Johnny Cash: Money set aside for the purchase of condoms.
marika
nemo wrote:
> Johnny Cash: Money set aside for the purchase of condoms.
I have never heard that word used that way.
Johnny on the Spot I have heard though re moveable toilets.
mk5000
``It's a showbiz do, so we've come as lines of cocaine,''--Queens of
the Stone Age
marika
nemo wrote:
>
> Looks more like a phone number. 21207!
our phone digits come in different size packets than that
>
> >
> > "And if the truth hasnt been told
> > So i sey
> > Now say these are some serious times, so . . .
>
> Yes! We have no bananas!
> We have no bananas today!!
> We've broad beans like bunions, cabBAges and onions,
> And all kinds of fruit and say -
> We have an old fashioned tomato;
> A nice Jersey potato, but,
> Yes! We have no bananas!
> We have no bananas today!
>
> Welllll - it's more cheerful, innit?
all food is cheerful
mk5000
"Meat Loaf came to the show in L.A., and he was like, 'Great show, I
was like, 'Did you
enjoy watching your daughter dirty-dance to "Girls, Girls, Girls"?' He
was like,
'She was great except for when she stuck her ass out in the crowd. I
didn't
respect that.'" -Samantha Maloney
marika
kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca wrote:
> Have you heard the song about A Boy Named Sue [0]?
[0] sure?
>
> It was sure nice of Johnny Cash to help a friend pay the IRS, although
> it must've been a very taxing effort.
especially if you walk the line
mk5000
"Many people over the years
have urged him to run, and he has thought about it, but as
far as some imminent
decision to run, no, I think what he
meant was that maybe he was exploring it."-- Jim Griffin
nemo
nemo
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> >
> > Looks more like a phone number. 21207!
>
> our phone digits come in different size packets than that
>
> >
> > >
> > > "And if the truth hasnt been told
> > > So i sey
> > > Now say these are some serious times, so . . .
> >
> > Yes! We have no bananas!
> > We have no bananas today!!
> > We've broad beans like bunions, cabBAges and onions,
> > And all kinds of fruit and say -
> > We have an old fashioned tomato;
> > A nice Jersey potato, but,
> > Yes! We have no bananas!
> > We have no bananas today!
> >
> > Welllll - it's more cheerful, innit?
>
> all food is cheerful
>
>
1946, suddenly they're available again. That's where the song came from.
I've got a photo of a shop in the East End of London when they came back on
sale again and there's a cop standing next to them to keep order!
Many children had never seen one before and were trying to eat them with the
skins on!!
And all food isn't cheerful at all. A lot of it is bits of dead animals.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Pinkey: Communist key.
Ready: Communist demon.
Tim Bruening
marika wrote:
> On Tue, 21 Nov 2006 03:42:34 -0500, <kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca> wrote:
>
> > marika wrote:
> >> On Mon, 20 Nov 2006 04:39:43 -0500, <kingpi...@lumbercartel.ca>
> >> wrote:
> >> > Tim Bruening wrote:
> >> > Funky: Opens the gates to the amusement park.
> >> >
> >> > Ranky: The key to offensive, dysfunctional management.
> >> >
> >> > Turn-key: Opens the other door (like "turning the other cheek").
> >>
> >> ok
> >>
> >> I just read it it was great
> >>
> >> i have a steady stream of stuff for today alone that I might post on
> >> keys
> >>
> >> rest of the cast later this week
> >
> > Does that mean you're the "ring" leader?
> >
>
> you should be careful not to propose anything to me with jewelry
Why?