7/4 Puns
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Sun, 16 Nov 2003 18:33:39 -0500, Logan <loga...@comcast.net>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >On Sun, 16 Nov 2003 13:08:37 -0500, J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >
> >> On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 11:04:42 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >>
> >>>Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >>>> "Cybe R. Wizard wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 14:07:19 -0800
> >>>>> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 18:02:12 GMT, "Nehmo Sergheyev"
> >>>>>> <neh...@hotmail.com> found these unused words floating about:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - Buffalo Chilkat -
> >>>>>>>>> Q. What did the inflatable headmaster at Inflatable High School
> >>>>>>>>> say to the inflatable student when he took him into the
> >>>>>>>>> inflatable office to discipline him?
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> A. Your behaviour has been despicable.You have let your friends
> >>>>>>> and> >classmates down and as a matter of fact you have let the
> >>>>>>> entire SCHOOL down!
> >>>>>>>>> In bringing that thumbtack into the school ,you will now more
> >>>>>>>>> importantly have to live with the fact that you have even let
> >>>>>>>>> YOURSELF down !!!
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - KIMEVANS -
> >>>>>>>> Aha, but to air is human.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - Nehmo -
> >>>>>>> Yeah, but the kid was a prick.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Perhaps seeing a psychaitrist could helium?
> >>>>>>
> >>>>> Face it, there's nothing wrong. Everybody hates the incoming tacks.
> >>>>
> >>>> The Democratic tacks man cometh? What a party pooper.
> >>>
> >>>Could somebody explain the point of this thread? :-(
> >>>
> >> Just a short needle from a broad head.
> >
> >Well hat pins it down!
>
> Darn Eng, always stitching an extra bit on ...
Sew what?!
Tim Bruening
KIMEVANS wrote:
> Q. What did the inflatable headmaster at Inflatable High School say to the
> inflatable student when he took him into the inflatable office to discipline
> him?
>
> A. Your behaviour has been despicable.You have let your friends and
> classmates down and as a matter of fact you have let the entire SCHOOL down!
> In bringing that thumbtack into the school ,you will now more importantly
> have to live with the fact that you have even let YOURSELF down !!!
A TACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tim Bruening
"fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message news:<Orvsb.98284$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > fredm...@the.PC <fre...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > news:3361f1b9.03111...@posting.google.com...
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:<3FB179F2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > The amputee approached the stadium turnstile.
> > > > > "Do you have your ticket stub?" he was asked.
> > > > > "Yes I do" he replied, "and don't call me 'stub'."
> > > >
> > > > I would hate to drink ampu-tea.
> > >
> > > You probably hate ampu-teats as well.
> >
> > Small bit cut off: Ampule.
>
> Vehicle dashing desperately to the ER : Ampulance.
> (True) Saw this sign at a great new Indian Restaurant last week :
> 'Lamp Curry'. Can't wait to see the rest of the menu once they've
> settled in !
That restaurant looks like a shining example!
Tim Bruening
singing. The candidate getting the most/loudest songs wins.
Losing: Concession song sung by non-winning candidates.
nemo
It was a South Indian restaurant and eggs don't feature in their diet, so
there won't be an ample supply!
nemo
ACK! ACK! . . . ACK! ACK! RAK! ACK! . . . ACK! RAK!!!!
(It was a Martian school!)
nemo
> Caucusing: Process by which people indicate their choice of candidate by
> singing. The candidate getting the most/loudest songs wins.
>
> Losing: Concession song sung by non-winning candidates.
Or someone vocalising in the lavatory!
And I pumice you, that's the best kind of tory - one made of basalt!
nemo
A rented jammy mack?
nemo
>
>
> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
>
> I'm on pins and needles.
That's nothing! The Rev. William Archibald Spooner was on nins and peedles!
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Sun, 16 Nov 2003 18:33:39 -0500, Logan <loga...@comcast.net>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >On Sun, 16 Nov 2003 13:08:37 -0500, J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >
> >> On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 11:04:42 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >>
> >>>Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >>>> "Cybe R. Wizard wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 14:07:19 -0800
> >>>>> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 18:02:12 GMT, "Nehmo Sergheyev"
> >>>>>> <neh...@hotmail.com> found these unused words floating about:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - Buffalo Chilkat -
> >>>>>>>>> Q. What did the inflatable headmaster at Inflatable High School
> >>>>>>>>> say to the inflatable student when he took him into the
> >>>>>>>>> inflatable office to discipline him?
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> A. Your behaviour has been despicable.You have let your friends
> >>>>>>> and> >classmates down and as a matter of fact you have let the
> >>>>>>> entire SCHOOL down!
> >>>>>>>>> In bringing that thumbtack into the school ,you will now more
> >>>>>>>>> importantly have to live with the fact that you have even let
> >>>>>>>>> YOURSELF down !!!
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - KIMEVANS -
> >>>>>>>> Aha, but to air is human.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - Nehmo -
> >>>>>>> Yeah, but the kid was a prick.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Perhaps seeing a psychaitrist could helium?
> >>>>>>
> >>>>> Face it, there's nothing wrong. Everybody hates the incoming tacks.
> >>>>
> >>>> The Democratic tacks man cometh? What a party pooper.
> >>>
> >>>Could somebody explain the point of this thread? :-(
> >>>
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
Tim Bruening
KIMEVANS wrote:
> Q. What did the inflatable headmaster at Inflatable High School say to the
> inflatable student when he took him into the inflatable office to discipline
> him?
>
> A. Your behaviour has been despicable.You have let your friends and
> classmates down and as a matter of fact you have let the entire SCHOOL down!
> In bringing that thumbtack into the school ,you will now more importantly
> have to live with the fact that you have even let YOURSELF down !!!
A TACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IRAQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tim Bruening
"fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message news:<Orvsb.98284$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > fredm...@the.PC <fre...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > news:3361f1b9.03111...@posting.google.com...
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
JC: Penny: Ocean of one cent clothing.
Krypton: Heavy secret.
MC: Ocean of masters of ceremonies.
NBC: Another TV ocean.
PC: Ocean of computers or urine.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> James King <jlk...@ix.netcom.com> wrote in message
> news:230420042016159258%jlk...@ix.netcom.com...
> > In article <Cweic.60$Hr5...@nurse.blueyonder.net>, nemo
> > <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
> >
> > > James King <jlk...@ix.netcom.com> wrote in message
> > > news:220420041015512054%jlk...@ix.netcom.com...
> > > > In article <mYEhc.4530$b4....@doctor.cableinet.net>, nemo
> > > > <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Cybe R. Wizard <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> > > > > news:20040421190234.3f4db74c@WizardsTower...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Yea, verily, I say unto you that on this date (Wed, 21 Apr 2004
> > > 16:03:35
> > > > > > +0100) "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass.wet> didst appear within my Magick
> > > > > > Viewing Screen and, being somewhat pleasantly supplicatory, did
> > > > > > polemicize thusly:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > startum <sta...@mail.anonymizer.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > > news:Gsuhc.86807$vn.2...@sea-read.news.verio.net...
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > "S." <s...@usenet.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > > news:c651q...@enews1.newsguy.com...
> > > > > > > > > Why do the French have only one
> > > > > > > > > egg for breakfast?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Because one egg is an oeuf.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Is that how we get 'One egg oeufer easy' ?
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I wouldn'r eat eggs if they were the last food on oeuf!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > It sounds oeufl to me, too.
> > > > > >
> > > > > <serious>
> > > > > There's enough cholesterol in one egg to last your body a week - and
> > > some
> > > > > people eat several a day!!
> > > >
> > > > <serious>
> > > >
> > > > I'm on the South Beach diet now, and my cholesterol dropped from 217
> to
> > > > 176 in 3 weeks even though I increased my egg intake from
> approximately
> > > > zero to a dozen a week.
> > > >
> > > > It's the first time in 6 years my cholesterol has been lower than 200.
> > > >
> > >
> > > That's clucking amazing!!
> >
> > At first I was going to "chicken" out on trying the diet, but one of my
> > piano students had a 50% drop in his cholestrol level .. from 207 to
> > 104. So I tried it. I find it very easy to stay on.
> >
> > I've also lost about 20 pounds in about 2 months on the diet -- not
> > that I was fat by any stretch of the imagination -- I was doing this
> > strictly because of my student's cholesterol results.
> >
> > Changing your diet is a lot cheaper than buying statin drugs. (Or in
> > Russia, "Stalin" drugs--the kind that make you want to wait for long
> > periods of time.)
> >
> > > My cousin Ivor is on a strict cholesterol-free diet as directed by his
> heart
> > > specialist and yet his cholesterol level stays stubbornly astronomical!
> >
> > What about his fat intake? Is he eating a lot of saturated fat and
> > trans-fat? I think that has more of a dietary effect on cholesterol
> > levels. If his good-to-bad is a decent ratio, then it's less of a
> > concern.
> >
> > > He's not typical either.
> >
> > > What's yer Prostate Specific Antigen level like??
> >
> > I didn't have that checked ... or if I did, I wasn't given the results.
> > I'll ask my doctor.
> >
> You've got to keep an eye on that too. It helps if you're a contortionist!
Contort: Against wrongs.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41413F12...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Curl Ling: A Chinese with bent hair.
> >
> > Drumming: A percussion Chinese vase.
> >
> > Goal Lee: Korean who guards the goal.
> >
> > Pale Line: White Chinese.
> >
> > Pail Ling: Chinese water container.
>
> Pauline: A very thin saint.
Daily: Diurnal Korean.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41413A67...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Konker: Dog belonging to a giant ape that climbs skyscrapers.
> >
> > Pamper: Price of a cooking spray.
> >
> > Parapet: Domestic animal from the 5th dimension.
> >
> > Pesky: Annoying object that undoes locks.
> >
> > Skit: Young cat in a short play.
> >
> > Skittish: Young scardy cat.
> >
> > Velvet: Cloth that fought in a war.
>
> <oyster alert>
> Nein. Dos iz der farkert fun a krankvet!
Termination: Nation of robots played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
nemo
Conurbation: Against Indians who live in towns.
nemo
More like Mess-C!
nemo
Well there'll soon be a Schwarzenegger in the White House.
Better than the present Weisserbabooner any day!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Sun, 16 Nov 2003 18:33:39 -0500, Logan <loga...@comcast.net>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >On Sun, 16 Nov 2003 13:08:37 -0500, J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >
> >> On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 11:04:42 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >>
> >>>Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >>>> "Cybe R. Wizard wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 14:07:19 -0800
> >>>>> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 18:02:12 GMT, "Nehmo Sergheyev"
> >>>>>> <neh...@hotmail.com> found these unused words floating about:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - Buffalo Chilkat -
> >>>>>>> - KIMEVANS -
> >>>>>>>> Aha, but to air is human.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - Nehmo -
> >>>>>>> Yeah, but the kid was a prick.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Perhaps seeing a psychaitrist could helium?
> >>>>>>
> >>>>> Face it, there's nothing wrong. Everybody hates the incoming tacks.
> >>>>
> >>>> The Democratic tacks man cometh? What a party pooper.
> >>>
> >>>Could somebody explain the point of this thread? :-(
> >>>
Tim Bruening
"fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message news:<Orvsb.98284$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > fredm...@the.PC <fre...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > news:3361f1b9.03111...@posting.google.com...
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo
Obviously, something you've overlocked.
nemo
>
>
> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
>
> > Sheila Dundee wrote:
>
> I'm on pins and needles.
Silly fakir!
nemo
>
>
> "fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
>
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
news:<Orvsb.98284$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > fredm...@the.PC <fre...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > > news:3361f1b9.03111...@posting.google.com...
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:<3FB179F2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > > Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > The amputee approached the stadium turnstile.
> > > > > > "Do you have your ticket stub?" he was asked.
> > > > > > "Yes I do" he replied, "and don't call me 'stub'."
> > > > >
> > > > > I would hate to drink ampu-tea.
> > > >
> > > > You probably hate ampu-teats as well.
> > >
> > > Small bit cut off: Ampule.
> >
> > Vehicle dashing desperately to the ER : Ampulance.
To the queen of Engeland?
> > (True) Saw this sign at a great new Indian Restaurant last week :
> > 'Lamp Curry'. Can't wait to see the rest of the menu once they've
> > settled in !
With the 'b' upside down like that, it must have died!
>
> That restaurant looks like a shining example!
Brinjal Foolgath?
Gulag Jamun?
Bhel Poo-ri?
And in the summer - Tanned Oori!
nemo
> Caucusing: Process by which people indicate their choice of candidate by
> singing. The candidate getting the most/loudest songs wins.
>
> Losing: Concession song sung by non-winning candidates.
Corvussing: Process by which crows indicate their choice of candidate by
crow king.
Caw blimey!
Nemo.
In 2007, retirement was heaven,
And it's still quite divine in 2009!
The MPs all fiddling has sort of died down,
But now poor old Gordon looks like a Brown clown!!
nemo
Sump heap hole often are. That's that rubble.
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Sun, 16 Nov 2003 18:33:39 -0500, Logan <loga...@comcast.net>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >On Sun, 16 Nov 2003 13:08:37 -0500, J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >
> >> On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 11:04:42 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >>
> >>>Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >>>> "Cybe R. Wizard wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 14:07:19 -0800
> >>>>> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 18:02:12 GMT, "Nehmo Sergheyev"
> >>>>>> <neh...@hotmail.com> found these unused words floating about:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - Buffalo Chilkat -
> >>>>>>>>> Q. What did the inflatable headmaster at Inflatable High School
> >>>>>>>>> say to the inflatable student when he took him into the
> >>>>>>>>> inflatable office to discipline him?
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> A. Your behaviour has been despicable.You have let your friends
> >>>>>>> and> >classmates down and as a matter of fact you have let the
> >>>>>>> entire SCHOOL down!
> >>>>>>>>> In bringing that thumbtack into the school ,you will now more
> >>>>>>>>> importantly have to live with the fact that you have even let
> >>>>>>>>> YOURSELF down !!!
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - KIMEVANS -
> >>>>>>>> Aha, but to air is human.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> - Nehmo -
> >>>>>>> Yeah, but the kid was a prick.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Perhaps seeing a psychaitrist could helium?
> >>>>>>
> >>>>> Face it, there's nothing wrong. Everybody hates the incoming tacks.
> >>>>
> >>>> The Democratic tacks man cometh? What a party pooper.
> >>>
> >>>Could somebody explain the point of this thread? :-(
> >>>
Tim Bruening
"fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message news:<Orvsb.98284$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > fredm...@the.PC <fre...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > news:3361f1b9.03111...@posting.google.com...
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:<3FB179F2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > The amputee approached the stadium turnstile.
> > > > > "Do you have your ticket stub?" he was asked.
> > > > > "Yes I do" he replied, "and don't call me 'stub'."
> > > >
> > > > I would hate to drink ampu-tea.
> > >
> > > You probably hate ampu-teats as well.
> >
> > Small bit cut off: Ampule.
>
> Vehicle dashing desperately to the ER : Ampulance.
> (True) Saw this sign at a great new Indian Restaurant last week :
> 'Lamp Curry'. Can't wait to see the rest of the menu once they've
> settled in !
That restaurant looks like a shining example!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Don Stockbauer
> > found these unused words floating about:
>
> > >On Sun, 16 Nov 2003 13:08:37 -0500, J. A. Mc. wrote:
>
> > >> On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 11:04:42 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > >> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
>
> > >>>Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > >>>> "Cybe R. Wizard wrote:
>
> > >>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 14:07:19 -0800
> > >>>>> J. A. Mc. <jaSP...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
>
> > >>>>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 18:02:12 GMT, "Nehmo Sergheyev"
>
> > >>>>>>> - Buffalo Chilkat -
> > >>>>>>>>> Q. What did the inflatable headmaster at Inflatable High School
> > >>>>>>>>> say to the inflatable student when he took him into the
> > >>>>>>>>> inflatable office to discipline him?
>
> > >>>>>>>>> A. Your behaviour has been despicable.You have let your friends
> > >>>>>>> and> >classmates down and as a matter of fact you have let the
> > >>>>>>> entire SCHOOL down!
> > >>>>>>>>> In bringing that thumbtack into the school ,you will now more
> > >>>>>>>>> importantly have to live with the fact that you have even let
> > >>>>>>>>> YOURSELF down !!!
>
> > >>>>>>> - KIMEVANS -
> > >>>>>>>> Aha, but to air is human.
>
> > >>>>>>> - Nehmo -
> > >>>>>>> Yeah, but the kid was a prick.
>
> > >>>>>> Perhaps seeing a psychaitrist could helium?
>
> > >>>>> Face it, there's nothing wrong. Everybody hates the incoming tacks.
>
> > >>>> The Democratic tacks man cometh? What a party pooper.
>
> > >>>Could somebody explain the point of this thread? :-(
>
> > >> Just a short needle from a broad head.
>
> > >Well hat pins it down!
>
> > Darn Eng, always stitching an extra bit on ...
>
>
> - Show quoted text -
This is the story of a boy named Tim
And his mother said
Tim be good
He wouldn't.