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Funny jokes for kids

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John Sidles

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Dec 8, 1993, 1:40:40 PM12/8/93
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Holiday Greetings to all you Net-humorists...

For a friend in the hospital, who knows some funny
jokes, in the holiday spirit, suitable for a nine year
old girl?

Example follows:

Dr. Watson: Tell me Holmes, wherever did you get your
fantastic education?

Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary.

Please forward to "sid...@u.washington.edu" or post to the net.

Thanks... John Sidles

Jascha FranklinHodge

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Dec 8, 1993, 2:18:10 PM12/8/93
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Q: Why did the rocket lose it's job?
A: It got fired!

BA-DA-BOOM!

*/----------------------------------------\*
| Jascha Franklin-Hodge a.k.a Joeshmoe |
| Software Tool & Die |
| |
| E-MAIL: |
| INTERNET: |
| joes...@world.std.com (best) |
| joes...@mitrlevm.mit.edu |
| 71623...@compuserve.com |
| COMPUSERVE: |
| 71623,2354 |
*\----------------------------------------/*

BRU...@delphi.com

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Dec 9, 1993, 9:18:08 PM12/9/93
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(from this very news section)

Q. Why couldn't the pony talk?
A. Because he was a little hoarse.

Gene Shackman

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Dec 10, 1993, 12:46:20 PM12/10/93
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In article <931209.766...@delphi.com> BRU...@delphi.com writes:
>From: BRU...@delphi.com
>Subject: Re: Funny jokes for kids
>Date: Thu, 9 DEC 93 21:18:08 EST

> (from this very news section)
>
>Q. Why couldn't the pony talk?
>A. Because he was a little hoarse.

where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
to the retail store.

Darren S. Ball

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Dec 11, 1993, 6:42:03 AM12/11/93
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In article <CHuK0...@wang.com> jro...@wang.com writes:

> If a plane crashes on the U.S. / Canadian border where do
> you bury the survivors ? :wq

They say the old ones are the best... I'm not so sure.
The answer, for those of you too young not to have heard this
old chestnut before...

You don't bury _survivors_.

Oh woe is me!

--
Darren S. Ball => dar...@artemus.demon.co.uk
--------------------------------------------
To be, or not to be...Mind the gap. P.Merton.

John Rogers

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Dec 10, 1993, 8:26:27 PM12/10/93
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Why did the strawberry cry ?

because his mother was in a jam.


What did farmer get when he steam rolled his field ?

mashed potatoes


If a plane crashes on the U.S. / Canadian border where do
you bury the survivors ? :wq

--
*****************************************************************
John Rogers To old for rock and roll too young to die thank
God for golf J.Tull with modifications
jro...@wang.com "The games afoot: Follow your spirit, ... "
Henry V Act 3 Sc 1.

Sean Smith

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Dec 14, 1993, 4:36:27 PM12/14/93
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> where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
> to the retail store.

...Speaking of which, did you hear about the medical student? He was
walking down the street one day when this frantic woman came running up and
said, "Please, someone help me! My poor little dog Licker was out in the
street and a car ran him over! He's in agony! Please help!" So the med
student goes with her, and sure enough, there's a little dog lying on the
sidewalk covered in blood. Then the student sees the dog's tail has been
come off.
"Oh my poor little Licker!" the woman screams. "His tail is off! What can
we do?"
The med student happens to have his medical bag with him, so he rummages
around in it, and takes out a needle and thread. He tells the woman to hold
onto Licker, and he sews the dog's tail back on.
The woman is relieved and happy. "Oh, you made my little Licker well. Thank
you!"
Of course, there has been such a commotion that a couple of policemen come
over to see what's going on. The woman tells the policemen what happened...

...and they arrest the medical student for retailing Licker without a
license.


Sean Smith

"On Vulcan, the teddy bears are alive--and they have six-inch fangs."

Doug Schoffstall

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Dec 17, 1993, 9:32:00 PM12/17/93
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Considering some of the recent jokes thrown around here, thought I'd
share this one which I found in the Usenet rec.humor newsgroup:

==================================================================

...Speaking of which, did you hear about the medical student? He
was walking down the street one day when this frantic woman came
running up and said, "Please, someone help me! My poor little dog
Licker was out in the street and a car ran him over! He's in agony!
Please help!" So the med student goes with her, and sure enough,
there's a little dog lying on the sidewalk covered in blood. Then
the student sees the dog's tail has been come off. "Oh my poor
little Licker!" the woman screams. "His tail is off! What can we
do?" The med student happens to have his medical bag with him, so
he rummages around in it, and takes out a needle and thread. He
tells the woman to hold onto Licker, and he sews the dog's tail
back on. The woman is relieved and happy. "Oh, you made my little
Licker well. Thank you!" Of course, there has been such a commotion
that a couple of policemen come over to see what's going on. The
woman tells the policemen what happened...

...and they arrest the medical student for retailing Licker without
a license.


* RM 1.2 00751 * Delivered by Electronic Sled-Dogs.....Woof!

DIL...@delphi.com

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Dec 22, 1993, 9:26:19 PM12/22/93
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That is so hi-larious, but here is my version:
On channel 9 news last night, there was a big mess over at that local 7-11!
Apparently, one girl went in to get something, and her friend waited out in the
car. But after she went in, the owner locked it up and pulled the gate down
over the front. Her f
riend went and called the police, and when they came, they found the owner had
stripped her down and was licking her everywhere. But they couldn't arrest him
-
]
- he had a Lick-her license.
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