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Vaporware

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David Coble

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May 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/5/96
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REASONS WHY VAPORWARE IS BETTER THAN REAL SOFTWARE:
by Gwen Barnes


1) Vaporware doesn't use up all your hard drive space.

2) Vaporware loads and runs much faster than real software.

3) Vaporware doesn't need docs.

4) The price is right.

5) Vaporware never crashes.

6) Vaporware is never copy protected.

7) Vaporware never has viruses.

8) You can download vaporware without running up a huge phone bill.

9) Vaporware never gets corrupted by line noise during downloads.

10) Vaporware tech support never puts you on hold.

11) Vaporware never comes on 18 floppies in a 10 pound box.

12) Vaporware never conflicts with your other applications.

13) Vaporware is much easier to write than real software.

14) Vaporware is always network-ready.

15) You never need to buy a site license for vaporware.

16) Vaporware is always DesqView aware.

17) You never need to buy more RAM to run vaporware.

18) Vaporware has versions which support Windows and OS/2.

19) Vaporware authors never get sued for "look and feel."

20) Vaporware runs perfectly on your existing hardware.

21) Vaporware still runs perfectly when you upgrade your hardware.

22) Vaporware always does exactly what you need it to do.

23) Vaporware never attacks another program's data files.

24) Vaporware never tells you to press the <ANY> key.

25) No-one can dispute your performance benchmarks for vaporware.

26) Vaporware always supports YOUR video adaptor.

27) Wherever you go, you can always run vaporware.

28) You always have the latest version of vaporware.

29) No matter how old it is, vaporware never becomes obsolete.


* AmyBW v2.13 *
... Index Register: Constant Source Of Irritation

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