Scottish Dentist
**Rowland Croucher**
extraction.
"£85 for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.
"£85!!! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"
"That's the normal charge," said the dentist.
"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic?"
"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock £15 off.
"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still
without an anesthetic?"
"I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful.
But the price could drop to £40".
"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do
the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"
It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "and it's
going to be very traumatic, but I'll charge you £5."
"Ochh-man , now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman.
"Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday then?"
--
Shalom/Salaam/Pax! Rowland Croucher
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/ (20,000 articles 4000 humor)
Blogs - http://rowlandsblogs.blogspot.com/
Justice for Dawn Rowan - http://dawnrowansaga.blogspot.com/
Funny Jokes and Pics - http://funnyjokesnpics.blogspot.com/
Don H
message news:46f253e2$0$7152$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
# I seem to remember the above joke being posted here previously. Or, maybe
I heard it elsewhere and only imagine it was posted here. But that's the
thing about jokes, they are repeated time and again - if they're worth it.
==============================
Q: What's black and white, and bowls along the beach?"
A: An Ethiopian and a seagull fighting over a chip.
==============================
Hold-up man to Scotsman: "Your money, or your life!"
Scotsman: "Take my life, I'm saving my money for my old age."
===============================
Young girl answering geography question, about "Where is Scotland?"
replied - "It's on top of England."
(I hear her Scottish relatives were quite pleased.)
===============================
Bigbazza
"**Rowland Croucher**" <rccro...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote in
message news:46f253e2$0$7152$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
> extraction.
>
> "£85 for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.
>
> "£85!!! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"
>
> "That's the normal charge," said the dentist.
>
> "Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic?"
>
> "That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock £15 off.
>
> "Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still
> without an anesthetic?"
>
> "I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful.
> But the price could drop to £40".
>
> "How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do
> the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"
>
> It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "and it's
> going to be very traumatic, but I'll charge you £5."
>
> "Ochh-man , now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman.
>
> "Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday then?"
> --
>
> Shalom/Salaam/Pax! Rowland Croucher
>
1st Time I heard that one, Rowland..A good one :-)
Bigbazza
Greg Evans
> 1st Time I heard that one, Rowland.
And exactly what rock have you been living under, then?
ynotssor
Greg Evans <gregeva...@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>> 1st Time I heard that one, Rowland.
>
> And exactly what rock have you been living under, then?
Yaaabba Daaaabba Doooooooooo!!
L.A.T.
"ynotssor" <ynot...@example.org> wrote in message
news:5lmaraF...@mid.individual.net...
> In news:5lls05F...@mid.individual.net,
> Greg Evans <gregeva...@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>> 1st Time I heard that one, Rowland.
>>
>> And exactly what rock have you been living under, then?
>
ynotssor
L.A.T. <ton...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Hey. do you know the difference between a kangaroo and a marsupila?
argusy
Yeah
a marsupila is spelt incorrectly
Argusy
D Parker
"argusy" <arg...@slmember.on.net> wrote in message
news:13fc798...@corp.supernews.com...
Thats the funniest post all week!
DP
ynotssor
D Parker <nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote:
> Thats the funniest post all week!
... and it's only Monday in Oz.
Alan in Darwin
>> a marsupila is spelt incorrectly
>>
No it isn't. I's spelled M-A-R-S-U-P-I-L-A
Alan in Darwin
D Parker
> In news:DAnJi.1244$H22...@news-server.bigpond.net.au,
> L.A.T. <ton...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>> Hey. do you know the difference between a kangaroo and a marsupila?
Umm... correct me if I am wrong.. But isnt there supposed to be a punch line
at some point?
DP
D Parker
"Alan in Darwin" <wilson...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:MuOJi.1727$H22...@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
>>>
>>> a marsupila is spelt incorrectly
>>>
>
> No it isn't. I's spelled M-A-R-S-U-P-I-L-A
>
> Alan in Darwin
Put that stubby down mate. Marsupial vs Marsupila.
DP
argusy
Yep.
I'm still waiting for it ...
(is it just one letter? there's 8 in kangaroo)
c'mon, tony, what's the diff?
The suspense is killing me
Argusy
ynotssor
D Parker <nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote:
>>> Hey. do you know the difference between a kangaroo and a marsupila?
>
> Umm... correct me if I am wrong.. But isnt there supposed to be a
> punch line at some point?
You're providing it with your multiple responses.
ynotssor
argusy <arg...@slmember.on.net> wrote:
>>>> Hey. do you know the difference between a kangaroo and a marsupila?
>>
>> Umm... correct me if I am wrong.. But isnt there supposed to be a
>> punch line at some point?
> waiting....
>
> Yep.
>
> I'm still waiting for it ...
> (is it just one letter? there's 8 in kangaroo)
>
> c'mon, tony, what's the diff?
> The suspense is killing me
The diff is that no one will respond to a kangaroo.
D Parker
Greg Evans
>>> Umm... correct me if I am wrong.. But isnt there supposed to
>>> be a punch line at some point?
>> You're providing it with your multiple responses.
>
> Yawn!
He has devastated you with his rapier wit and unassailable logic, ynotssor!
Bow your head in humility!
ynotssor
Greg Evans <gregeva...@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
I nooded off during lunch and bowed my head in some hummus ... does that
count?
Greg Evans
> I nooded off during lunch and bowed my head in some
> hummus ...
I bet that made you feel-awfel!
argusy
That's close to a homonym, isn't it?
Very punny, Mate.
Argusy
argusy
We wuz suckered!!
I took it that you knew an answer
but if you're a practising comedian, then it's probably a good way to get some
smart or off-beat responses.
Argusy
ynotssor
argusy <arg...@slmember.on.net> wrote:
>>> I nooded off during lunch and bowed my head in some
>>> hummus ...
>>
>> I bet that made you feel-awfel!
>>
> Good catch!!
> That's close to a homonym, isn't it?
"Not that there's anything *wrong* with that."
ynotssor
argusy <arg...@slmember.on.net> wrote:
>>>>> Hey. do you know the difference between a kangaroo and a
>>>>> marsupila?
>>> Umm... correct me if I am wrong.. But isnt there supposed to be a
>>> punch line at some point?
>>
>> You're providing it with your multiple responses.
>
> We wuz suckered!!
> I took it that you knew an answer
> but if you're a practising comedian, then it's probably a good way to
> get some smart or off-beat responses.
We who are in the profession of terminally-unemployable comedians refer to
such things as "seed humour."
Greg Evans
> We who are in the profession of terminally-unemployable
> comedians refer to such things as "seed humour."
Misspelled "seedy".
D Parker
Snip
>
> We who are in the profession of terminally-unemployable comedians ...
Yeh, the comedians that get the jobs are usually the funny ones. So how long
have you been unemployed?
DP
MosNot
"Greg Evans" <gregeva...@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5lls05F...@mid.individual.net...
> Bigbazza wrote:
>
>> 1st Time I heard that one, Rowland.
>
> And exactly what rock have you been living under, then?
Fraggle.
ynotssor
Greg Evans <gregeva...@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
I think I seed your pitcher on the Post Office wall.
ynotssor
D Parker <nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote:
> Yeh, the comedians that get the jobs are usually the funny ones. So
> how long have you been unemployed?
Money is only important if you don't have any.
Larry Krzewinski
<gregeva...@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>>>> Umm... correct me if I am wrong.. But isnt there supposed to
>>>> be a punch line at some point?
>>> You're providing it with your multiple responses.
>>
>> Yawn!
>
>He has devastated you with his rapier wit and unassailable logic, ynotssor!
He needs to get his rapier sharpened.
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
>>> We who are in the profession of terminally-unemployable
>>> comedians refer to such things as "seed humour."
>>
>> Misspelled "seedy".
>
>I think I seed your pitcher on the Post Office wall.
Really? Greg's lucky they didn't get his little brown jug.
D Parker
Long time eh?
DP
MosNot
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:u3ogf39hcjd9oplv2...@4ax.com...
How you know his little jug is brown ?
ynotssor
D Parker <nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote:
>>> Yeh, the comedians that get the jobs are usually the funny ones. So
>>> how long have you been unemployed?
>>
>> Money is only important if you don't have any.
>
> Long time eh?
As a paid comedian, never. Why do take such a particular and singularly
non-humourous interest in the matter?
SummersFrenzy
>
>>> Money is only important if you don't have any.
>>
>> Long time eh?
>
> As a paid comedian, never. Why do take such a particular and singularly
> non-humourous interest in the matter?
Seems that he approaches the topic like some people choose to climb
mountains . . . because it's there
ynotssor
SummersFrenzy <icediamo...@hotmail.com> wrote:
Sounds like he'd do better there than in a humour newsgroup, but he's
probably one of those climbers that uses their cellulite phone to call for
help when the campstove runs out of fuel, believing that someone will fly in
some hot soup by helicopter to save the day.
D Parker
Oh there is humour there. Perhaps you cant see it.
DP
Larry Krzewinski
<nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote:
>>>>> Yeh, the comedians that get the jobs are usually the funny ones. So
>>>>> how long have you been unemployed?
>>>>
>>>> Money is only important if you don't have any.
>>>
>>> Long time eh?
>>
>> As a paid comedian, never. Why do take such a particular and singularly
>> non-humourous interest in the matter?
>
>Oh there is humour there. Perhaps you cant see it.
Yeah, Tony! Why his punctuation alone is hilarious.
ynotssor
Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
>> Oh there is humour there. Perhaps you cant see it.
>
> Yeah, Tony! Why his punctuation alone is hilarious.
I'm about 15° inclined to agree.
Greg Evans
>>> Oh there is humour there. Perhaps you cant see it.
>> Yeah, Tony! Why his punctuation alone is hilarious.
>
> I'm about 15° inclined to agree.
You saying you're in lean times, humor-wise?
ynotssor
Sjouke Burry
out for that, it hurts...
Greg Evans
> You misspelled lien.
Thanks - I owe you one!
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
>>>>> We who are in the profession of terminally-unemployable
>>>>> comedians refer to such things as "seed humour."
>>>>
>>>> Misspelled "seedy".
>>>
>>>I think I seed your pitcher on the Post Office wall.
>>
>> Really? Greg's lucky they didn't get his little brown jug.
>
>How you know his little jug is brown ?
He told me he keeps it hidden in his outhouse.
D Parker
OMG Warning Warning, the spelling Nazis have arrived.. Hide your kids and
grandfathers. ( not your sisters and mothers tho. we need someone to clean
up since the monkey died)
DP
MosNot
Feh. That was to throw you off the scent.
MosNot
You left the comma out after "Why". Hahahahahahahahaha !
MosNot
"D Parker" <nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote in message
news:46f99b11$0$4569$5a62...@per-qv1-newsreader-01.iinet.net.au...
Spellling Nazis don't care about punctuation.
That's a job for the KGB.
ynotssor
D Parker <nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote:
> OMG Warning Warning, the spelling Nazis have arrived..
Looks like about a single step away from an invocation of Godwin's Law.
D Parker
Not at all. The thread has continued already. In fact, just your mention of
Godwins Law was an extention of the thread. You negated Godwins Law
immediately. Quirks Exeption does not apply in this case either.
DP
ynotssor
D Parker <nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote:
> Quirks Exeption does not apply in this case
Did you say ... "Exeption"?
D Parker
hehe... yep... i negated to use the spell checker!
And if you want to be really clever you will note that in above i failed to
use caps at the appropriate time. I also used too many full stops. Even the
explanitory sentence i just wrote had errors (like spelling caps and no
apostrophe) as does this one.
Please use red pen when writing my marks. It will make you feel more
important.
DP
ynotssor
D Parker <nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote:
>> Did you say ... "Exeption"?
>
> hehe... yep... i negated to use the spell checker!
You misspelled spill chucker.
D Parker
Ahh... youre a kiwi.. I will type slower for you.
DP
ynotssor
D Parker <nospamo...@hotmailnospam.com.> wrote:
>>>> Did you say ... "Exeption"?
>>>
>>> hehe... yep... i negated to use the spell checker!
>>
>> You misspelled spill chucker.
>
> Ahh... youre a kiwi..
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Greg Evans
> ... you will note that in
> above i failed to use caps at the appropriate time. I also
> used too many full stops. Even the explanitory sentence i
> just wrote had errors (like spelling caps and no apostrophe)
> as does this one.
None of which made you any funnier.
D Parker
"Greg Evans" <gregeva...@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5lv1l0F...@mid.individual.net...
Too true. Had I been trying to be funny you would have just made a point.
However, i wasnt. Your point is mute.
DP
Greg Evans
> Had I been trying to be funny you would have just made a
> point. However, i wasnt. Your point is mute.
Silly me, expecting funniness in humor newsgroups.... You've run
rings 'round me logically.
D Parker
"Greg Evans" <fa...@bogus.com> wrote in message
news:5lv50lF...@mid.individual.net...
Face it mate..the only humour here is when theres a link to a site or
plagerism..
Otherwise its just the usual chatter, flaming and trolling you would find in
any newsgroup.
DP
Greg Evans
> Face it mate..the only humour here is when theres a link to a site
> or
> plagerism..
NO!! Liar! I reject your reality! You're not the boss of me!! Not
list-ening, lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.....
D Parker
>D Parker wrote:
>
>> Face it mate..the only humour here is when theres a link to a site or
>> plagerism..
>
> list-ening, lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.....
>
>
Realily? Pfft... My delusion is more fun!
DP
Greg Evans
> Realily? Pfft... My delusion is more fun!
Oh, realily?
D Parker
>D Parker wrote:
>
>> Realily? Pfft... My delusion is more fun!
>
> Oh, realily?
>
>
i forgot to cross my T. :(
DP
Greg Evans
>>> Realily? Pfft... My delusion is more fun! Oh, realily?
>
> i forgot to cross my T. :(
If you don't dot your T's and cross your I's, you won't be taken seriously!
MosNot
But we get ice cream on Sundays !
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
>>>>Oh there is humour there. Perhaps you cant see it.
>>>
>>> Yeah, Tony! Why his punctuation alone is hilarious.
>>
>> OMG Warning Warning, the spelling Nazis have arrived.. Hide your kids and
>> grandfathers. ( not your sisters and mothers tho. we need someone to clean
>> up since the monkey died)
>>
>> DP
>
>Spellling Nazis don't care about punctuation.
>That's a job for the KGB.
He won't listen, Mos. He's undoubtedly too busy cleaning up to pay
attention.
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
Perhaps he'll shut up now and be moot. Let's vote on it!
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
>>>>>>> Yeh, the comedians that get the jobs are usually the funny ones. So
>>>>>>> how long have you been unemployed?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Money is only important if you don't have any.
>>>>>
>>>>> Long time eh?
>>>>
>>>> As a paid comedian, never. Why do take such a particular and singularly
>>>> non-humourous interest in the matter?
>>>
>>>Oh there is humour there. Perhaps you cant see it.
>>
>> Yeah, Tony! Why his punctuation alone is hilarious.
>
>You left the comma out after "Why". Hahahahahahahahaha !
See? See? Was I right or was I right?
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
>>>>>>> We who are in the profession of terminally-unemployable
>>>>>>> comedians refer to such things as "seed humour."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Misspelled "seedy".
>>>>>
>>>>>I think I seed your pitcher on the Post Office wall.
>>>>
>>>> Really? Greg's lucky they didn't get his little brown jug.
>>>
>>>How you know his little jug is brown ?
>>
>> He told me he keeps it hidden in his outhouse.
>
>Feh. That was to throw you off the scent.
It worked. After one whiff of his outhouse all my olfactory nerves
died.
ynotssor
Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
>>> Had I been trying to be funny you would have just made a
>>> point. However, i wasnt. Your point is mute.
>>
>> Silly me, expecting funniness in humor newsgroups.... You've run
>> rings 'round me logically.
>
> Perhaps he'll shut up now and be moot. Let's vote on it!
"Throw 'im in the moat!"
SummersFrenzy
> Greg Evans wrote:
>
>> None of which made you any funnier.
>
> Too true. Had I been trying to be funny you would have
> just made a point. However, i wasnt. Your point is mute.
I found it quite vociferous . . . "had I been trying to be funny" . . . now
THAT is moot
D Parker
"MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> wrote in message
news:KYqdnT6NmMUqa2fb...@pcisys.net...
YAY ( jumping up and down) How many more sleeps now?
DP
D Parker
"Greg Evans" <gregeva...@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
Like who takes who seriously here?
DP
SummersFrenzy
>
> NO!! Liar! I reject your reality! You're not the boss of me!! Not
> list-ening, lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.....
Take that cheese out of your ears!! Elisabeth will have a hey-day
SummersFrenzy
>
> See? See? Was I right or was I right?
If you're trying to say you were so far right, you're left . . . that's just
wrong and will get you banished from the republican convention
D Parker
OMG I thought you said Goat.... Dirty bugger ;-)
DP
SummersFrenzy
> Greg Evans wrote:
>
>> seriously!
>
> Like who takes who seriously here?
Whom .. . HTH
D Parker
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:c2vlf3p24ck04ii36...@4ax.com...
Great idea.. I vote for Larry Flynt!
DP
SummersFrenzy
> MosNot wrote:
>
>> But we get ice cream on Sundays !
>>
>
> YAY ( jumping up and down) How many more sleeps now?
twenty-teen
D Parker
"SummersFrenzy" <icediamo...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:13fm1qb...@corp.supernews.com...
Oh.. You do it seems.
DP
MosNot
> On Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:49:15 -0600, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>Oh there is humour there. Perhaps you cant see it.
>>>> Yeah, Tony! Why his punctuation alone is hilarious.
>>> OMG Warning Warning, the spelling Nazis have arrived.. Hide your kids
>>> and
>>> grandfathers. ( not your sisters and mothers tho. we need someone to
>>> clean
>>> up since the monkey died)
>>That's a job for the KGB.
>
> He won't listen, Mos. He's undoubtedly too busy cleaning up to pay
> attention.
But, ...I was so sure he was the monkey.
MosNot
Your punctuation was funny, his was almost barely amusing.
MosNot
One ? Took you that long to realize the effects ?
MosNot
You totally ruined his owl impression.
MosNot
Can't wait that long. How 'bout eleventeen ?
ynotssor
SummersFrenzy <icediamo...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>> If you don't dot your T's and cross your I's, you won't be taken
>>> seriously!
>>
>> Like who takes who seriously here?
>
> Whom .. . HTH
He seriously misspelled "who takes womb serously"
ynotssor
SummersFrenzy <icediamo...@hotmail.com> wrote:
They probably wouldn't allow him within a quarter-mile of the entrance.
Alan in Darwin
>
> hehe... yep... i negated to use the spell checker!
>
Ummm... Shouldn't that be 'neglected'?
Regards
A.I.D.
Greg Evans
> Like who takes who seriously here?
Oh, well, there's...um...or how about, er.... In summary: shut up!
Greg Evans
> Perhaps he'll shut up now and be moot.
Perhaps monkeys will fly out of my butt.
Greg
and clean up after themselves
Greg Evans
> If you're trying to say you were so far right, you're left . . .
> that's just wrong and will get you banished from the
> republican convention
And then he'd *really* be left! Behind, that is.
Greg Evans
> Take that cheese out of your ears!! Elisabeth will have a
> hey-day
Frankly, I doubt that even *she* will be all that interested in it now
that it's been in my ears.
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
>> Perhaps he'll shut up now and be moot.
>
>Perhaps monkeys will fly out of my butt.
You have monkey diarrhea again? That's the eighth time this year.
Larry Krzewinski
Ve vould like to velcome you to the Grammar Nazis Assn., Summer.
Signed,
Commandant Larry Schickelgruber-Katz
Greg Evans
>> Perhaps monkeys will fly out of my butt.
>
> You have monkey diarrhea again? That's the eighth time this year.
It must have been something I ape.
Larry Krzewinski
Hallelujah!
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
Behind who? I certainly hope they showered recently.
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
>>>>>Oh there is humour there. Perhaps you cant see it.
>>>> Yeah, Tony! Why his punctuation alone is hilarious.
>>>You left the comma out after "Why". Hahahahahahahahaha !
>> See? See? Was I right or was I right?
>
>Your punctuation was funny, his was almost barely amusing.
That's cause I'm a funny guy and he's barely amusing with the emphasis
on the word barely.
Larry Krzewinski
wrote:
>>>>>>>>> We who are in the profession of terminally-unemployable
>>>>>>>>> comedians refer to such things as "seed humour."
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Misspelled "seedy".
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>I think I seed your pitcher on the Post Office wall.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Really? Greg's lucky they didn't get his little brown jug.
>>>>>
>>>>>How you know his little jug is brown ?
>>>>
>>>> He told me he keeps it hidden in his outhouse.
>>>
>>>Feh. That was to throw you off the scent.
>>
>> It worked. After one whiff of his outhouse all my olfactory nerves
>> died.
>
>One ? Took you that long to realize the effects ?
And I was in a plane flying over it at 5,000 feet at the time! When I
looked out the window of the plane I could even see skunks on the
ground holding their noses.
D Parker
"Alan in Darwin" <wilson...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:z6PKi.2805$H22....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
Only if it really wants to be. But it will have to study hard and stay off
the booze.
DP