Free Masons

[Tim Bruening]

Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.

[headdr]

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.

Free Masons: Getting the drunks out of jail after the parade.

[David Reihmer]

In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:

> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.

Free Masons: while supplies last!

[MosZibby]

J. A. Mc. wrote:
> On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer
> <sim...@mindspring.com> found these unused words floating about:

> Cementing your customer list?

Free Masons: Letting them out of prison.

[Tim Bruening]

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com>
> found these unused words floating about:
>

> Cementing your customer list?

Cementing: Musical streets.

Cementing: Hard bell.

[Tim Bruening]

Hooker: Fisher dog.

Hooker: Prostitute dog.

[Tim Bruening]

Fisher: Marine knight.

Refresher: Cleaning knight.

Vanisher: Disappearing knight.

Varnisher: Furniture knight.

[Tim Bruening]

Eraser: Knight of Internet horse race betting.

Questor: Knight of epic adventures.

[Tim Bruening]

Baming: Sheep Chinese vase.

Forming: 4 Chinese vases.

Performing: Price of 4 Chinese vases.

Rooming: Kangaroo vase.

Swarming: Group of insect vases.

Worming: Small skinny vase in the ground.

[Tim Bruening]

Homing: Garden tool Chinese vase.

Homing: Prostitute vase.

Looming: Toilet vase.

[Tim Bruening]

Affirming: Chinese vase that says yes.

Firming: Hard hairy vase made by a Harry Potter.

Laming: Vase that limps.

[Tim Bruening]

Advising: Song that gives advice.

Devising: Song of creativity.

Revising: To change the song.

[Tim Bruening]

Reddish: A meal of tomatoes, red peppers, and other red foods.

Redding: Red bell.

[Tim Bruening]

Aping: One bell.

Tooting: Two bells.

Fording: Four bells.

Tenting: Ten bells.

[Tim Bruening]

Aping: Large primate bell.

Darting: Musical arrow.

Darting: Fast moving bell.

Doping: Musical female deer.

Doping: Drug bell.

Dusting: Ground dirt bell.

Eating: Internet bell.

Eloping: Bell that runs to Las Vegas to get married.

Eloping: Electronic bell on the ground.

Gusting, Winding: Windy bells.

[Tim Bruening]

Kneading: Bread making bell.

Renting: To borrow a bell.

Rusting: Iron oxide bell.

Scalping: Musical hair.

Shooting: Gun bell.

Shorting: Bell small in height.

Shorting: Shocking bell.

Snorting: Sleeping bell.

Spotting: Musical little dots.

Sporting: Games bell.

Targeting: Artillery bell.

Venting: Ventilation bell.

Westinghouse: Bell house in the Wild West.

[Tim Bruening]

Forcings: 4 songs.

Forkers: 4 dogs.

Forkings: 4 male monarchs.

Foremen: 4 men.

Tensings: 10 songs.

[Tim Bruening]

Buttering: Ring made by Sambo when he lead a tiger around in a circle
very very fast!

[Tim Bruening]

Grenada: Father of a hand thrown explosive.

Napa: Sleeping father.

Yuba: You a sheep.

Yuban: Prohibit the 21th letter.

Cuban: Prohibit the 17th letter.

[Tim Bruening]

Pending: Ringing writing instrument.

Pole Vault: Where Santa keeps his money.

Snow Bank: Where the Pole Vault is.

[Tim Bruening]

Dedeuce - forgetting the score at a tennis match.

Enginears: Proximity detector for locomotives.

Racketeer - what a tennis player suffers from when his opponent wallops
him round the side of the head with the bat.

Umpire - Hunchback of Notre Dame on fire at a tennis match in spite of
thinking he's at a cricket match and loping around shouting, "The
bailes! The bailes!"

Car Barretta - what a priest wears while he's driving.

Impose - what a male artist's model does.

Indisposition - how the artist would like him to stand.

Santa Claws - Edward Scissorhands gets a new job!

Muggy - a humid day just before Teuggy, Weggy and Thurggy.

Icicle - a vocal utterance on a very cold day.

[Tim Bruening]

Napa: Sleeping Dad.

Seralbumin: Looked after the chickens.

Serampur: Organised picknicks.

Serapias: A cheerful Knight - as Larry!

Serapiss: Incontinent Knight who kept bees.

Serass: Was a male prostitute. He Whore.

Serbus: In charge of transport.

Serenade: A singing Kioght.

Serendipity: A Knight who stopped sad situations from continuing.

Serdes: Blimey! They've knighted O'Connor!

Serum: A West Indian Knight with alcoholic bodily fluids!

[Tim Bruening]

Chesapeake: Chess tournament on a mountain top.

Advert: Add the color green.

Revert: To turn green again.

[Tim Bruening]

Eden: A home on the Internet.

Purgatory: Get rid of those british polly ticks from your hard drive..

Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.

Helmet: Hat of the Devil.

Satan: A devil of a sunburn.

[Tim Bruening]

Conduct: Electrical waterfowl.

Conduct: Against ducks or pipes.

Deduct: 4th waterfowl in the alphabet.

Reduct: To quack again.

Overload: The higher part of a mine.

Irrelevant: Having nothing to do with a pachyderm's auditory organs.

Impeccable: Resistant to birds' beaks.

Sincere: One who can discern misbehavior.

[Tim Bruening]

Inquest: Member of cast of adventure film.

Bequest; Entomological adventure.

Conquest 2: Jimmy Durante searching for his missing rhinal organ.

Interrupt Request: To start another subroutine.

Ole-Factory: A factory that manufactures perfumes, or a factory
constructed long ago.

Perfume: Unit of pricing of pollution.

Perfume: Unit of pricing of anger.

[Tim Bruening]

Dungeoness: Female gaoler (US: jailer) Two peoples divided by a common
whassname, er, thingy, er, oojimaflip . . .

Empire: Big burning heap of typographical standard spaces.

Umpire: A big burning heap of electrical sub-stations.

Bison: What you cook a podding in.

Pudding Bison: A pregnant one. (UK slang for pregnant: being in the
Pudding Club) two peoples div . . oh, sod it!

What's a Hindu? It lays iggs! (Noah Fence.)

Antidote: An ant that cures poison victims.

Aspie: A urinating donkey.

Biplane: An aircraft that mates with both genders.

Deacon: A criminal demon.

D. Mon: Between D. Sun and D. Tues.

D. Tain: A demon prison guard.

Enormous: A very big rodent.

Giant: Very big ant.

Gigantic: Very big tick.

Incredible: An unbelievable male cow.

[Tim Bruening]

Algae Bra: Mathematical breast coverings

Co-Bra: Breast coverings that really bite!

Logo: To go underground.

Transfer: To move mammalian body coverings.

[Tim Bruening]

Ashcroft: Top of an ash tree.

Subside: Suicide by submarine.

Mystery: A spinning woman.

Mytosis: A splitting woman.

Metamorphisis: A shape shifting woman.

[Tim Bruening]

Cell Phone: Phone in jail.

Cell Phone: Phone used by amoebas.

Cell Phone! Phone sharings are dropping like a stone!

Amoebas: Very small sheep.

Xerox: Draft animal that clones things.

[Tim Bruening]

Order: A passage way to rock that contains valuable minerals.

Subdue: Underwater postage stamp.

[Tim Bruening]

Microbrew: One one millionth of a beer.

Rampage: Part of a male sheep book.

Rampart: Part of a male sheep.

[Tim Bruening]

Slicing: Singing butcher knife.

Stirring: Ring that rotates.

Macing: Singing in the 5th month of the year.

Macy: Ocean in the 5th month of the year.

[Tim Bruening]

Alligator: One who makes allegations.

Allocate: To find Al Gore.

Goring: Ring worn by Al.

[Tim Bruening]

Macy: A shopping mall in the ocean.

JC Penny: A 1 cent shopping mall in the ocean.

Gottchalks: A question for a teacher shopping for classroom supplies.

[Tim Bruening]

Basheba: Two female sheep for ewe!

Basing: Singing wolves and military bases.

Bracing: Singing donkeys.

Facing: Singing head.

[nemo]

J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:ftqh509imcu0ln44s...@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >
> >> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.
> >
> >Free Masons: while supplies last!
>
> Cementing your customer list?
>
Chizeller!

[nemo]

MosZibby <Naked@YourHouse> wrote in message
news:105i092...@corp.supernews.com...

> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer
> > <sim...@mindspring.com> found these unused words floating about:
> >
> >> In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> >> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.
> >>
> >> Free Masons: while supplies last!
> >
> > Cementing your customer list?
>

> Free Masons: Letting them out of prison.
>
>
In a pub in the days of Aparthied, there's a barman wearing a "T" shirt
reading "Free Nelson Mandela."

A drunk staggers in, sees it, and says, "I'll have five pints of this Nelson
Mandela!"

[David Reihmer]

In article <oGA7c.132684$sw3.1...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:

That must've created a sellin' dilemma.

[nemo]

David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:simwah-7424EC....@netnews.comcast.net...

> In article <oGA7c.132684$sw3.1...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
>
> > MosZibby <Naked@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > news:105i092...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer
> > > > <sim...@mindspring.com> found these unused words floating about:
> > > >
> > > >> In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > >> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > > >>
> > > >>> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.
> > > >>
> > > >> Free Masons: while supplies last!
> > > >
> > > > Cementing your customer list?
> > >
> > > Free Masons: Letting them out of prison.
> > >
> > >

> > In a pub in the days of Apartheid, there's a barman wearing a "T" shirt

> > reading "Free Nelson Mandela."
> >
> > A drunk staggers in, sees it, and says, "I'll have five pints of this
Nelson
> > Mandela!"

> That must've created a sellin' dilemma.

Nope. A job for the bouncer. That's the same as a doorman only made out of
rubber.

Another solution would have been for the Apartheid government to let
Shepherd Neam's Spitfire out of prison.

http://www.shepherd-neame.co.uk/

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> news:simwah-7424EC....@netnews.comcast.net...
> > In article <oGA7c.132684$sw3.1...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
> >
> > > MosZibby <Naked@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > > news:105i092...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer
> > > > > <sim...@mindspring.com> found these unused words floating about:
> > > > >
> > > > >> In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > >> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > > > >>
> > > > >>> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Free Masons: while supplies last!
> > > > >
> > > > > Cementing your customer list?
> > > >
> > > > Free Masons: Letting them out of prison.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > In a pub in the days of Apartheid, there's a barman wearing a "T" shirt
> > > reading "Free Nelson Mandela."
> > >
> > > A drunk staggers in, sees it, and says, "I'll have five pints of this
> Nelson
> > > Mandela!"
>
> > That must've created a sellin' dilemma.
>
> Nope. A job for the bouncer. That's the same as a doorman only made out of
> rubber.

Bouncer: Knight in charge of expelling people from a Knight Club.

Candy Bar: Where candies drink beer.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4060D7E6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

. . . or is that what he hits them with?

>
> Candy Bar: Where candies drink beer.
>

Sounds like the pubs in Old Compton Street, ducky!

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> news:simwah-7424EC....@netnews.comcast.net...
> > In article <oGA7c.132684$sw3.1...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
> >
> > > MosZibby <Naked@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > > news:105i092...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer
> > > > > <sim...@mindspring.com> found these unused words floating about:
> > > > >
> > > > >> In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > >> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > > > >>
> > > > >>> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Free Masons: while supplies last!
> > > > >
> > > > > Cementing your customer list?
> > > >
> > > > Free Masons: Letting them out of prison.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > In a pub in the days of Apartheid, there's a barman wearing a "T" shirt
> > > reading "Free Nelson Mandela."
> > >
> > > A drunk staggers in, sees it, and says, "I'll have five pints of this
> Nelson
> > > Mandela!"
>
> > That must've created a sellin' dilemma.
>
> Nope. A job for the bouncer. That's the same as a doorman only made out of
> rubber.

Bouncer: Knight in charge of expelling people from a Knight Club.

Candy Bar: Where candies drink beer.

[Tim Bruening]

Buffalo Chilkat wrote:

> On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 12:07:32 GMT, "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet>
> wrote:
>
> >
> >Guest login <john.smith@micro$oft.com> wrote in message
> >news:bmnvr5$qa1$1...@newstree.wise.edt.ericsson.se...
> >> Hissing Sid the snakes little baby, said to his mother "Mom?", "Mom, are
> >we
> >> poisonous snakes?"
> >>
> >> She replied "Yes, we are dear. Why?".
> >>
> >> Little snake said "Oh shit! I've bit my lip!".
> >>
> >
> >Sone? SONE?? Oy! I'm the one who does the Middle English around here!
> >
> >And you're supposed to include a pun, you silly asp!
> >
> >
> >Chief Shitting Bull: "White man speak with forked tongue!"
> >
> >White man: "You shpshpshpldn't mock the afpfpfpfpflicted. Itththth a thpeech
> >defegt!!"
>
> A young Apache boy was mute and was forced to devise a sign language
> using captured US Army eating implements. That's why he couldn't be
> trusted, he spoke with a forked tongue.

Forking: In favor of a monarchy.

Forking: King #4.

Forker: In favor of canines.

Forker: Dog #4.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:409CB03D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Bountiful: Knight who's eaten too many coconut bars.

>
> Candy Bar: Where candies drink beer.

Akbar: Where Martians go for a drink - as long as Country Music isn't
playing. It goes right to their heads!

Busbar: Coach drivers' tavern.

Cinnabar: Pub and brothel combined. I've got Vermilion of 'em I tell yer!

Retrobulbar: Where male cows wearing 60s clothes go for a drink.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

Rebar: To drink, sue, or imprison again.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:409EF9DB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

"A rebar! A rebar! - Underlay! Underlay!": Cry of a Civil Engineer/Carpet
Fitter mouse!

[James King]

In article <mjPnc.20419$_S5.1...@pathologist.blueyonder.net>, nemo
<ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:

> > nemo wrote:

> > > > nemo wrote:

> > > > > > > > J. A. Mc. wrote:

> > > > > > > > > Cementing your customer list?

> > > Busbar: Coach drivers' tavern.

I admire your speedy puns.

James King

--
And that's the James King Version!

[Tim Bruening]

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >
> >> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.
> >
> >Free Masons: while supplies last!
>
> Cementing your customer list?

Cementing: Musical streets.

Cementing: Hard bell.

[Tim Bruening]

Homing: Garden tool Chinese vase.

Homing: Prostitute vase.

Looming: Toilet vase.

[Tim Bruening]

Reddish: A meal of tomatoes, red peppers, and other red foods.

Redding: Red bell.

[Tim Bruening]

Forcings: 4 songs.

Forkers: 4 dogs.

Forkings: 4 male monarchs.

Foremen: 4 men.

Tensings: 10 songs.

[Tim Bruening]

Lobby: A bee that buzzes Congress for special favors.

Dobby: A house elf bee that buzzes around Hogwarts.

[Tim Bruening]

Pending: Ringing writing instrument.

Pole Vault: Where Santa keeps his money.

Snow Bank: Where the Pole Vault is.

[Kish]

Tim Bruening wrote:

> Lobby: A bee that buzzes Congress for special favors.
>
> Dobby: A house elf bee that buzzes around Hogwarts.

Tim, are you planning to post these every month or so for the rest of
your life? They were worth a chuckle the first time, but they're really
not worth that.

[Tim Bruening]

Hauke Reddmann wrote:

> Cybe R. Wizard <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote:
> > On Sun, 18 Jul 2004 13:41:08 +0930
> > "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
>
> >> "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> >> news:20040717215140.2a215eba@WizardsTower

> >> > On Sun, 18 Jul 2004 11:31:22 +0930
> >> > "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
> >> >
> >> >> "J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message

> >> >> news:10eif0d795i0tttg9...@4ax.com
> >> >>> On 17 Jul 2004 12:38:44 GMT, Hauke Reddmann
> >> ><fc3...@uni-hamburg.de>>> found these unused words floating about:
> >> >>>
> >> >>>> Didn't like Puss'N'Boots. He acted like a heel.
> >> >>>> (But what do you expect from a cad.)
> >> >>> Stick 'em in a cel ! Dis ney'ds no background.
> >> >>
> >> >> Well, if the dream works for you! (not that I'm a green with you,
> >> >or> anything)
> >> >>
> >> > I'd love to know what you are talking about but don't know where the
> >> > Pixar.
> >>
> >> I can draw my own conclusions from this post - I'm being framed!!!
> >>
> > You said that as if it matted.
>
> You *all* belong in a cel!

With cel phones!

[Tim Bruening]

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> Q: why does an ocean going river get cold?
>
> A: because it has a shore throat.

Floozy: Ocean with a cold.

[Tim Bruening]

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Wed, 3 Dec 2003 09:05:23 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >> On Tue, 2 Dec 2003 18:11:47 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >>
> >>> mike wheeEler wrote:
> >>>> In article <3fcb40b3$0$13498$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>,
> >>>> Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au, Sheila Dundee was looking at the world
> >>>> oddly when:
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Cybe R. Wizard wrote:

> >>>>>> On Sun, 30 Nov 2003 16:55:40 -0800
> >>>>>> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Q: why does an ocean going river get cold?
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> A: because it has a shore throat.
> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>> It's been delta short hand for keeping an open mouth.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Chemists will isolate the germ in a flu vial - you can bank on it!
> >>>>>
> >>>> It's edimentary, it's a flu vial deposit on a river bank.
> >>>
> >>> It happens when you take a fork in a river
> >>>
> >> Best to go slough ... time marshes on at its own pace.
> >
> >Did you reed that somewhere?
> >
> It was in the empty room at the Riv. you let.
>
> Did you know that Koi have the best way to travel?
> They use a carp pool.

Carping: Musical automobile.

[Greg Heilers]

Tim Bruening wrote:

> Lobby: A bee that buzzes Congress for special favors.
>
> Dobby: A house elf bee that buzzes around Hogwarts.

Hobby: An activity the "bee"-comes a "buzz"-arre obsession at times.

This is so much FUN!!

(NOT)

...and lame as well....

--

Greg Heilers
Registered Linux User #328317 - SlackWare 9.1

.....

That rifle hanging on the wall of the working-class
flat or labourer's cottage is the symbol of democracy.
It is our job to see that it stays there.
--- George Orwell

[Fat Sam]

"J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:mk77h0p60etum1uuf...@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 07 Aug 2004 02:14:11 GMT, Kish <Kis...@pacbell.net> found these
> unused words floating about:
>

> Others & hive said the same. He just combs through and posts swarms.

See, that's a perfect example of a pun, and quite a good one at that.....The
stuff that Tim posted bore as much resemblance to a pun as I do to a
prisoner from Belson.....

--
Sam.
www.doohickeys.co.uk
For Desirable Devices

[George Johnson]

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:41142CB4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

| Lobby: A bee that buzzes Congress for special favors.
|
| Dobby: A house elf bee that buzzes around Hogwarts.

Better fun is the Anagram Genius software
http://www.anagramgenius.com/agfree.php

Joanne Kathleen Rowling

Join when on elegant lark.
Neat joker in well, hang on.
Enthralling on a new joke.
New joke on an all-nighter.
Keen now in lethal jargon.
Enlighten joker on a lawn.
On jeweller than on a king.
Gallant hen or new in joke.
Loan joker lengthen a win.
Hell! An owner joking neat.
Keen jaw 'n' long lionheart.
Enthral 'n' own genial joke.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:41142BAD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

>
>
> "J. A. Mc." wrote:
>
> > On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com>
> > found these unused words floating about:
> >
> > >In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > >
> > >> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.

A mason cuts stone. You're thin king of a Pricklayer!

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:41142C24...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Homing: Garden tool Chinese vase.
>
> Homing: Prostitute vase.
>
> Looming: Toilet vase.

Homing Pidgeon: Prostitute vase called Una.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:41142C50...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Reddish: A meal of tomatoes, red peppers, and other red foods - that ya
can't thin cough!.
>
> Redding: Red bell.

Helen Reddy: Singer with very high blood pressure.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:41142C81...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Tensings: 10 songs about climbing Everest, which is what they all had to do
half-way up: Everest!

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:41142CB4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Lobby: A bee that buzzes Congress for special favors.
>
> Dobby: A house elf bee that buzzes around Hogwarts.

Dobbo: Ditto, but wearing a bow-tie and the nickname of our local MP. Frank
Dobson.

[nemo]

Kish <Kis...@pacbell.net> wrote in message
news:TVWQc.1000$QJ3...@newssvr21.news.prodigy.com...

Should he chuckle of them out with the rubbish then?

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:41142CC0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Pending: Ringing writing instrument.
>
> Pole Vault: Where Santa keeps his money.
>
> Snow Bank: Where the Pole Vault is.

More likely to be in the main bank in Warsaw.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:411455C5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

The way most people make a nuisance of themselves with them, they should be
called Cellfish Phones!

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:4114564F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Narr and narr! It's an Israeli made sub machine gun with a cold!

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:4114566E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

And if anyone gets run over by a car from the carp pool, they have to send
for a Sturgeon.

Message to beware when buying fish eggs: Caviar Temptor!

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> news:simwah-7424EC....@netnews.comcast.net...
> > In article <oGA7c.132684$sw3.1...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
> >
> > > MosZibby <Naked@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > > news:105i092...@corp.supernews.com...

> > > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer
> > > > > <sim...@mindspring.com> found these unused words floating about:
> > > > >
> > > > >> In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > >> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > > > >>
> > > > >>> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.
> > > > >>

> > > > >> Free Masons: while supplies last!
> > > > >
> > > > > Cementing your customer list?
> > > >

> > > > Free Masons: Letting them out of prison.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > In a pub in the days of Apartheid, there's a barman wearing a "T" shirt
> > > reading "Free Nelson Mandela."
> > >
> > > A drunk staggers in, sees it, and says, "I'll have five pints of this
> Nelson
> > > Mandela!"
>
> > That must've created a sellin' dilemma.
>
> Nope. A job for the bouncer. That's the same as a doorman only made out of
> rubber.

Bouncer: Knight in charge of expelling people from a Knight Club.

Candy Bar: Where candies drink beer.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:413BAA66...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Her-She bar: Pub frequented by Lesbians who do strange things with oblong
prisms of chocolate.

[Tim Bruening]

[Tim Bruening]

Congest: Against jokes.

Conquest: Against intellectual inquiry.

Digest: To die laughing.

Embed: M shaped sleeping furniture.

[Tim Bruening]

Venting: Musical opening in a wall.

Vent Ting: Windy Chinese.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:418EA1BB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Cinnabar: Pub on Mercury where wrong-doers have a last drink before St.
Peter pulls the lever and they go down into the fiery furnace!

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:418EA1D0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

. . . for people only 1/6 inch tall???

That's sheer bunkum!

Bunkum: Tracy Emmen's bed cum artwork that is covered in it! (Stupid cow!)

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:418EA20C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Venting: Musical opening in a wall.
>
> Vent Ting: Windy Chinese.

Fructus Ventris: Apples falling out of the air conditioning!

[Tim Bruening]

Buffalo Chilkat wrote:

> On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 12:07:32 GMT, "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet>
> wrote:
>
> >
> >Guest login <john.smith@micro$oft.com> wrote in message
> >news:bmnvr5$qa1$1...@newstree.wise.edt.ericsson.se...
> >> Hissing Sid the snakes little baby, said to his mother "Mom?", "Mom, are
> >we
> >> poisonous snakes?"
> >>
> >> She replied "Yes, we are dear. Why?".
> >>
> >> Little snake said "Oh shit! I've bit my lip!".
> >>
> >
> >Sone? SONE?? Oy! I'm the one who does the Middle English around here!
> >
> >And you're supposed to include a pun, you silly asp!
> >
> >
> >Chief Shitting Bull: "White man speak with forked tongue!"
> >
> >White man: "You shpshpshpldn't mock the afpfpfpfpflicted. Itththth a thpeech
> >defegt!!"
>
> A young Apache boy was mute and was forced to devise a sign language
> using captured US Army eating implements. That's why he couldn't be
> trusted, he spoke with a forked tongue.

Forcing: In favor of 4 singers.

Forking: In favor of a monarchy.

Forking: King #4.

Forker: In favor of canines.

Forker: Dog #4.

Former: In favor of the 4 oceans.

Tenser: 10 knights.

Tensing: 10 singers.

Toomer: 2 oceans.

Tooting: 2 bells.

[Tim Bruening]

artyw wrote:

> "Chris Trask" <chris...@earthlink.net> wrote in message news:<dk%7c.53697$aT1....@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net>...
> > Would a rotund adolescent who has gained considerable weight from
> > drinking too much hot chocolate be considered an ovalteen?
>
> Yoohoo is without thin, cast the first stein.

Gravity: A tea that makes you gain weight.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:41C931D7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Dorothy Tooting: Actress who sounds like a motor horn.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:41C931DF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Gravity: A beverage that also serves as a substitute for the juices that
drip from cooking meats, thickened and poured over a meal.

Emile: Zit allors!!! Je suis all sticky now!

[Tim Bruening]

Buffalo Chilkat wrote:

> Guest login <john.smith@micro$oft.com> wrote:
>
> >Oh yeah! I just want to add that I have not written this joke on a homepage
> >so I am not asking you to go there to bump-up the visitors counter. I don't
> >want to sell you insurance or even a penis enlargement kits. The joke is
> >free! I know it is unusual, but I'm not selling anything at all!
>
> I want to have a sex change operation. I want to change from 'none'
> to 'a lot'.

PS: Ocean of urine.

[nemo]

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:42AD3FC1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

So when you fill in a form and it asks 'Sex', you enter, 'Yes Please'??
>
> PS: Ocean of urine.
>
Post Scriptum: To type something like this.

[Tim Bruening]

Buffalo Chilkat wrote:

> Guest login <john.smith@micro$oft.com> wrote:
>
> >Oh yeah! I just want to add that I have not written this joke on a homepage
> >so I am not asking you to go there to bump-up the visitors counter. I don't
> >want to sell you insurance or even a penis enlargement kits. The joke is
> >free! I know it is unusual, but I'm not selling anything at all!
>
> I want to have a sex change operation. I want to change from 'none'
> to 'a lot'.

PS: Ocean of urine.

[nemo]

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:434068CB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Shouldn't that be PC? or would that be un- PC?

[Tim Bruening]

[Tim Bruening]

[nemo]

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:4388E8E5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Tooting Common: Two Cockney bells!

[nemo]

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:4388E905...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Or tea made from OXO cubes again.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

Tic Tac Toe: Foot digit that draws Xs and Os.

[nemo]

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:438E3E17...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

We're more sensible. We call it Noughts and Crosses.

And what is it with you lot and the letter T. I understand and oversit that
you call a See-Saw a Teeter-Totter!

An unweaned small child: Teater Totter!

[Tim Bruening]

[Tim Bruening]

Harry Farkas wrote:

> [Courtesy of Pat Drnec in alt.autos.studebaker]
>
> Misys gives Pecker head job
>
> By Nick Lord 05 March 2004
>
> Rudi Pecker assumes position in top slot in Asia.
>
> After 14 years inside Misys in Europe, Rudi Pecker has been elevated
> to the financial technology company's Singapore office, to become head of
> Asia Pacific sales. In this role, Pecker will head all Misys' strategic and
> commercial activities in the region, aiming to grow the business and enter
> into long term relationships. Pecker's breadth of experience....
>
> http://www.financeasia.com/articles/06DD9861-F82C-4BFA-96CC2D57EB769A9E.cfm

Pecker: Dog with a beak.

[Tim Bruening]

Johnnaishwerner wrote:

> A musician was reacently hospitalized with a bad case of scherzophrenia.

Are his organs all right?

[Tim Bruening]

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Tue, 14 Oct 2003 04:19:20 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> <mam...@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >On Mon, 13 Oct 2003 17:28:24 GMT, "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet>
> >wrote:
> >
> >>
> >>J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> >>news:63fjovgq9are8mslb...@4ax.com...
> >>> On Sat, 11 Oct 2003 20:15:49 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> >>> <mam...@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
> >>>
> >>> > rsc...@sport.rr.com spammed:
> >>> >
> >>> >>David Beckam Caught showering in the nude by a snapshotter.
> >>> >
> >>> >I also shower in the nude, unless I'm doing the laundry.
> >>>
> >>> Was he butt shot by the snapshotter?
> >>
> >>So that explains why for a big, butch footballer he's got such a silly,
> >>squeaky little voice!! The snapshotter aimed for his butt but scored a
> >>ball's eye instead!
> >
> >Your crass rating is very high.
>
> I agree ... especially for a 'guy' who plays football with a
> polkadotted ball.

How about meterball?

[Tim Bruening]

Empire: Big burning heap of typographical standard spaces.

Umpire: A big burning heap of electrical sub-stations.

Bison: What you cook a podding in.

Pudding Bison: A pregnant one. (UK slang for pregnant: being in the
Pudding
Club) two peoples div . . oh, sod it!

What's a Hindu? It lays iggs! (Noah Fence.)

Antidote: An ant that cures poison victims.

Aspie: A urinating donkey.

Biplane: An aircraft that mates with both genders.

Deacon: A criminal demon.

D. Mon: Between D. Sun and D. Tues.

D. Tain: A demon prison guard.

Enormous: A very big rodent.

Giant: Very big ant.

Gigantic: Very big tick.

Incredible: An unbelievable male cow.