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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

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Jeff Hamlin

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Dec 11, 2000, 2:36:37 PM12/11/00
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I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.

Jeff Hamlin

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Dec 11, 2000, 2:37:14 PM12/11/00
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Jeff Hamlin

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Dec 11, 2000, 2:39:33 PM12/11/00
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I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.

And I have a hole through my dingus.

Jeff Hamlin

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Dec 11, 2000, 2:40:46 PM12/11/00
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Daniel E. Macks

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Dec 11, 2000, 2:54:17 PM12/11/00
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Jeff Hamlin <jha...@freenet.nether.net> said:
>I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.

Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2000 19:36:37 GMT
Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2000 19:37:14 GMT
Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2000 19:39:33 GMT
Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2000 19:40:46 GMT

That's pathetic. Wacha doin'--holding up the phone and yelling the bits?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies use TinCanNet
--
Daniel Macks
dma...@a.chem.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks

Viki

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Dec 11, 2000, 2:57:53 PM12/11/00
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Jeff Hamlin wrote:
>
> I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.

Proves it. Hey, Dumpie.

Viki :)

Fierce Cookie

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Dec 11, 2000, 7:58:02 PM12/11/00
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Jeff Hamlin <jha...@freenet.nether.net> attempted to infuriate me by
saying:

>I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.

>And I have a hole through my dingus.

I knew it. Welcome back, YFF.

--
Putain de 2CV, whose daughter's 29 gallon (US) aquarium had a bright red Siamese
fighting fish, which was, milligram for milligram, the fiercest creature on the planet,
but now isn't too damn fierce at all, having snuffed it.
putain...@mindspring.com Replace dots with under_scores to send e-mail.

TechnoAtheist

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Dec 12, 2000, 2:01:31 AM12/12/00
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On Mon, 11 Dec 2000 19:36:37 GMT, a group of busy, busy monkeys
claiming to be Jeff Hamlin <jha...@freenet.nether.net> wrote:

>I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.

Oh, geez, Hang on a sec.
*ahem*
You do? Wow! Tell me more about it! Is it cool? Do you like it or is
it more of a pain? No really, we want to hear more!

Sorry, I guess I'm just being compulsivly obsessive.

GW De Lacey

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Dec 12, 2000, 5:01:58 AM12/12/00
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My hovercraft, the most seaworthy 'Jeff Hamlin', is full of eels:

>I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.

If you are trying to make us believe you are Dupcarat, you are
kidding yourself.
Face it, you are Jeff Hamlin, a newbie in search of a perfect mate.
It's not hard really, all you have to do is *want* to be Jeff, and
the battle is won.

--
GW DE Lacey
Whose liver and white English springer spaniel smells a rat.

Jim Evans

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Dec 12, 2000, 11:29:52 PM12/12/00
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Comrade Jeffcarat wrote:
> I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.
>
> And I have a hole through my dingus.

You know, you're right. You can't be DMP. Only someone who wasn't DMP
would do such an obviously DMP-ish thing, while claiming not to be DMP,
because that's exactly what he would do. Therefore you can't be him.

Unless that's what you want us to think.

JIM, I know! Jeff's a GIANT BAT!!!

--
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The JIM Experience
http://welcome.to/the_jim_experience
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Jim Evans

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Dec 12, 2000, 11:31:53 PM12/12/00
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No, that's just the cooler.

JIM

Sanford Manley

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Dec 13, 2000, 12:20:14 AM12/13/00
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Jim Evans wrote:
>
> Comrade Jeffcarat wrote:
> > I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.
> >
> > And I have a hole through my dingus.
>
> You know, you're right. You can't be DMP. Only someone who wasn't DMP
> would do such an obviously DMP-ish thing, while claiming not to be DMP,
> because that's exactly what he would do. Therefore you can't be him.
>
> Unless that's what you want us to think.
>
> JIM, I know! Jeff's a GIANT BAT!!!

What kind of Giant Bat? Fruit? Vampire? Perhaps even Fungo?

--
*******************************************************************
My Home Page at: http://www.tfn.net/~smanley/index.html
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close enough to your eye. -Samuel Grafton
*******************************************************************

Tim Chew

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Dec 13, 2000, 7:31:05 AM12/13/00
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All right, that's it. Sometime vaguely during an unspecified period
of time before I hit the Reply button on my newsreader, the fingers of
Jim Evans did thusly type:

>Comrade Jeffcarat wrote:
>> I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.
>>
>> And I have a hole through my dingus.
>
>You know, you're right. You can't be DMP. Only someone who wasn't DMP
>would do such an obviously DMP-ish thing, while claiming not to be DMP,
>because that's exactly what he would do. Therefore you can't be him.
>
>Unless that's what you want us to think.
>
> JIM, I know! Jeff's a GIANT BAT!!!

With hands!

--

HRH Prince Timothy T. W. Chew, Duke of North Hills
Full Time Oracle Priest and Professional Giver of Bad Advice
http://twchew.home.mindspring.com
"You don't want my brain, I've had it thirty years, and it hasn't
worked right yet." - Lou Costello

Blow a raspberry to e-mail me.

Daniel E. Macks

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Dec 13, 2000, 11:02:44 AM12/13/00
to
Jim Evans <jev...@physics.uottawa.ca> said:
>Comrade GW De Lacey wrote:
>>
>> GW DE Lacey
>> Whose liver and white English springer spaniel smells a rat.
>
>No, that's just the cooler.

He said "rat", not "scat".

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies know a thing or two about rats

TimC

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Dec 13, 2000, 4:59:49 PM12/13/00
to
Jim Evans was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:

>Comrade Jeffcarat wrote:
>> I have a confession to make, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.
>>
>> And I have a hole through my dingus.
>
>You know, you're right. You can't be DMP. Only someone who wasn't DMP
>would do such an obviously DMP-ish thing, while claiming not to be DMP,
>because that's exactly what he would do. Therefore you can't be him.
>
>Unless that's what you want us to think.
>
> JIM, I know! Jeff's a GIANT BAT!!!

And I'm a cricket!


TimC -- sorry, bad australian obref.

Sid

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Dec 13, 2000, 10:34:52 PM12/13/00
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In article <slrn93fsa...@mono.ug.cs.usyd.edu.au>,
tc...@no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au (TimC) wrote:

> > JIM, I know! Jeff's a GIANT BAT!!!
>
> And I'm a cricket!
>
> TimC -- sorry, bad australian obref.

You are on a sticky wicket here.

Sid


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Wikkit

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Dec 19, 2000, 5:15:20 AM12/19/00
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In article <919f4t$s89$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Sid <sid...@usa.net> wrote:

>-In article <slrn93fsa...@mono.ug.cs.usyd.edu.au>,
>- tc...@no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au (TimC) wrote:
>-
>-> > JIM, I know! Jeff's a GIANT BAT!!!
>->
>-> And I'm a cricket!
>->
>-> TimC -- sorry, bad australian obref.
>-
>-You are on a sticky wicket here.

No, I'm Wikkit. As for sticky, that box of chocolates was begging to be
sampled, I swear!

>-Sid

What is a wicket, by the way, and what is a sticky wicket? My nick is a
DNA ref to a cricket ref, but I don't actually understand it...

Ben

--
<Ben>-( late...@usa.net )-{ http://www.netins.net/showcase/benssite/ }
"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about,
and that is not being talked about." -- Oscar Wilde

Screwtape

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Dec 19, 2000, 6:02:03 AM12/19/00
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Wikkit schrieb:

>In article <919f4t$s89$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Sid <sid...@usa.net> wrote:
>>-In article <slrn93fsa...@mono.ug.cs.usyd.edu.au>,
>>- tc...@no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au (TimC) wrote:
>>-
>>-> > JIM, I know! Jeff's a GIANT BAT!!!
>>->
>>-> And I'm a cricket!
>>->
>>-> TimC -- sorry, bad australian obref.
>>-
>>-You are on a sticky wicket here.
>
>No, I'm Wikkit. As for sticky, that box of chocolates was begging to be
>sampled, I swear!

You shall yet learn the difference between 'sample' and 'devour', my
son.

(hey, aren't you older than I am?)

>What is a wicket, by the way, and what is a sticky wicket? My nick is a
>DNA ref to a cricket ref, but I don't actually understand it...

How much do you know about cricket?

In short, pertaining to your question..

- the place where cricket is played is the "cricket oval", being
ellipsoid in shape.

- in the middle of the oval, aligned with the major axis of the
ellipse is the, I dunno, it's the main area of play.

- The main-area-of-play bit is 22 (imperial) feet long, and a few feet
wide.

- At each end is a batsman, only one of whom is actually Playing His
Part at any one time.

- The active batsman is the one the cricketball is being thrown at
currently. The other one just stands around, not being in any
danger.

- The active batsman, getting balls thrown at him, has to deflect the
ball away from a flimsy wooden framework behind him.

- The flimsy wooden framework is called a "wicket" and looks like
this:

---- ----
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |

- The vertical bits are the "stumps", three seperate wooden stakes
driven into the ground, spaced exactly one-cricket-ball-diameter
apart. The horizontal bits are "bails", and there's two - one to
go between Stump 1 and Stump 2, and one to straddle stumps 2 and
3.

- A "sticky wicket", AFAIK, speaks of the physical qualities of the
main-area-of-play (how the ball bounces, friction, and so forth).
ISTR that a "sticky wicket" is caused by recent precipitation.

- Astute readers will notice that my definition of "sticky wicket"
does not reference my definition of "wicket". I'm not sure if this
is Just Part Of The Game, or if "wicket" can also refer to the
"main-area-of-play". That might also be the cricket "pitch".

Screwtape,
...only slightly more informed than Wikkit about Wikkit's name.

--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian
|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|
| "They asked me to, but I reclined."
|

Fierce Cookie

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Dec 19, 2000, 6:39:40 AM12/19/00
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s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) attempted to infuriate me by saying:

[lengthy and unnecessary description of bizarre game snipped]

>Screwtape,
>...only slightly more informed than Wikkit about Wikkit's name.

Actually, I think it means that he's really bad, like a witch or something.

Sid

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Dec 19, 2000, 5:09:23 PM12/19/00
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Looks like I'm the only one who knows about cricket here.

> >>-You are on a sticky wicket here.

> - the place where cricket is played is the "cricket oval", being
> ellipsoid in shape.

Not really. Now it's just called the field or the ground cos the shape
isn't oval all the times. But anyway.

> - in the middle of the oval, aligned with the major axis of the
> ellipse is the, I dunno, it's the main area of play.

It's called the "pitch". Also called the "wicket" (just to confuse
people).

> - The main-area-of-play bit is 22 (imperial) feet long, and a few feet
> wide.

That's 22 yards long.

<snip>

> - The active batsman, getting balls thrown at him, has to deflect the
> ball away from a flimsy wooden framework behind him.
>
> - The flimsy wooden framework is called a "wicket" and looks like
> this:
>
> ---- ----
> | | |
> | | |
> | | |
> | | |
> | | |
>
> - The vertical bits are the "stumps", three seperate wooden stakes
> driven into the ground, spaced exactly one-cricket-ball-diameter
> apart. The horizontal bits are "bails", and there's two - one to
> go between Stump 1 and Stump 2, and one to straddle stumps 2 and
> 3.
>
> - A "sticky wicket", AFAIK, speaks of the physical qualities of the
> main-area-of-play (how the ball bounces, friction, and so forth).
> ISTR that a "sticky wicket" is caused by recent precipitation.
>
> - Astute readers will notice that my definition of "sticky wicket"
> does not reference my definition of "wicket". I'm not sure if this
> is Just Part Of The Game, or if "wicket" can also refer to the
> "main-area-of-play". That might also be the cricket "pitch".

It is now explained. The pitch is also called the wicket. A "sticky
wicket" is one that doesn't "play" well because of the amount of water
in it. That makes it difficult to bat on. Hence the expression "being
on a sticky wicket".

> Screwtape,
> ...only slightly more informed than Wikkit about Wikkit's name.


Sid, and knowing is...

Matt

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Dec 19, 2000, 6:10:38 PM12/19/00
to
All men have secrets, and here is mine:
[Screwtape]

>Wikkit schrieb:
>>In article <919f4t$s89$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Sid <sid...@usa.net> wrote:
>>>-In article <slrn93fsa...@mono.ug.cs.usyd.edu.au>,
>>>- tc...@no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au (TimC) wrote:
>>>-
>>>-> > JIM, I know! Jeff's a GIANT BAT!!!
>>>->
>>>-> And I'm a cricket!
<snip>

>>What is a wicket, by the way, and what is a sticky wicket? My nick is a
>>DNA ref to a cricket ref, but I don't actually understand it...
>
>How much do you know about cricket?
>
>In short, pertaining to your question..
>
>- the place where cricket is played is the "cricket oval", being
> ellipsoid in shape.
>
>- in the middle of the oval, aligned with the major axis of the
> ellipse is the, I dunno, it's the main area of play.

or, the Wicket

<snip stuff about playing>

>- A "sticky wicket", AFAIK, speaks of the physical qualities of the
> main-area-of-play (how the ball bounces, friction, and so forth).
> ISTR that a "sticky wicket" is caused by recent precipitation.

Yes. If one is batting on a sticky wicket, it's harder to slog the
ball.

>- Astute readers will notice that my definition of "sticky wicket"
> does not reference my definition of "wicket". I'm not sure if this
> is Just Part Of The Game, or if "wicket" can also refer to the
> "main-area-of-play". That might also be the cricket "pitch".

and, yes.
Er, I hope that helps.
Anyway, how come you know so little about it? I thought cricket was
beaten into kids down there...

Sid

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Dec 19, 2000, 7:10:34 PM12/19/00
to
In article <3a4aeab9...@news.btinternet.com>,
kof...@yahoo.co.uk.nospam (Matt) wrote:

> and, yes.
> Er, I hope that helps.
> Anyway, how come you know so little about it? I thought cricket was
> beaten into kids down there...

No. you are thinking about the sub-continent.

Wikkit

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Dec 20, 2000, 12:36:56 AM12/20/00
to
In article <slrn93ug...@ferd2.thristian.org>,
thristianS...@atdot.org wrote:

>-Wikkit schrieb:
>->In article <919f4t$s89$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Sid <sid...@usa.net> wrote:
>->>-In article <slrn93fsa...@mono.ug.cs.usyd.edu.au>,


>->>- tc...@no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au (TimC) wrote:
>->>-
>->>-> > JIM, I know! Jeff's a GIANT BAT!!!
>->>->
>->>-> And I'm a cricket!
>->>->
>->>-> TimC -- sorry, bad australian obref.
>->>-
>->>-You are on a sticky wicket here.

>->
>->No, I'm Wikkit. As for sticky, that box of chocolates was begging to be
>->sampled, I swear!
>-
>-You shall yet learn the difference between 'sample' and 'devour', my
>-son.
>-
>-(hey, aren't you older than I am?)

Don't think so. /me checks bio

Happy birthday, Freakstone. Not that you'd see it here.

Anyway...

No, you're about 1.5 years older, boy.

>->What is a wicket, by the way, and what is a sticky wicket? My nick is a
>->DNA ref to a cricket ref, but I don't actually understand it...
>-
>-How much do you know about cricket?

Slightly less than nothing. Misinformation, y'know.

>-In short, pertaining to your question..
>-
>-- the place where cricket is played is the "cricket oval", being
>- ellipsoid in shape.
>-
>-- in the middle of the oval, aligned with the major axis of the
>- ellipse is the, I dunno, it's the main area of play.
>-
>-- The main-area-of-play bit is 22 (imperial) feet long, and a few feet
>- wide.
>-
>-- At each end is a batsman, only one of whom is actually Playing His
>- Part at any one time.
>-
>-- The active batsman is the one the cricketball is being thrown at
>- currently. The other one just stands around, not being in any
>- danger.
>-
>-- The active batsman, getting balls thrown at him, has to deflect the
>- ball away from a flimsy wooden framework behind him.

So it's like a person trying to deflect those ray gun shots with a
lighsaber, except their liff isn't in danger, and they are trying to
defend the wicket, instead of their body, and they use a paddle instead of
a light saber, and it's a cricket ball instead of a ray gun blast, and
it's a cricket pitcher, rather than a storn trooper, and it's a batsman
instead of a jedi?

Maybe it's not much like a person trying to deflect those ray gun shots
like with a light saber. Light sabers would probably make the game more
interesting, though...

>-- The flimsy wooden framework is called a "wicket" and looks like
>- this:


>-
>- ---- ----
>- | | |
>- | | |
>- | | |

>- | | |
>- | | |

Which is what the whole Wikkit Key thing was supposed to look like, not
like the thing in my x-face.

>-- The vertical bits are the "stumps", three seperate wooden stakes
>- driven into the ground, spaced exactly one-cricket-ball-diameter
>- apart. The horizontal bits are "bails", and there's two - one to
>- go between Stump 1 and Stump 2, and one to straddle stumps 2 and
>- 3.

Is one bail silver and the other gold? Are the stumps stainless steel,
perspex, and wood, in no particular order?

>-- A "sticky wicket", AFAIK, speaks of the physical qualities of the
>- main-area-of-play (how the ball bounces, friction, and so forth).
>- ISTR that a "sticky wicket" is caused by recent precipitation.

Okie.

>-- Astute readers will notice that my definition of "sticky wicket"
>- does not reference my definition of "wicket". I'm not sure if this
>- is Just Part Of The Game, or if "wicket" can also refer to the
>- "main-area-of-play". That might also be the cricket "pitch".

Either way, you still know more about it than me.

Now, wehre does a bowling green come into all this, and why would they
name a town in Missouri after it?

>-Screwtape,
>-...only slightly more informed than Wikkit about Wikkit's name.

Ben,
... quite a bit less knowledgeable about Screwtape's name than Screwtape.

--
<Ben>-(latebird @ usa.net)-{ http://www.netins.net/showcase/benssite/ }
GCS d- s+:+ a--- C+++>$ UL++ P++ L++ E? W+++ N+++ o? K- w--- !O M++
V PS+ PE Y+ PGP+ t 5+ X+>++ R- tv+++>+ b+>++ DI++++ D++ G e* !h !r y?

Wikkit

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Dec 20, 2000, 12:37:57 AM12/20/00
to
In article <3a4aeab9...@news.btinternet.com>,
kof...@yahoo.co.uk.nospam (Matt) wrote:

>-Yes. If one is batting on a sticky wicket, it's harder to slog the
>-ball.

Slog? Is that where John Goodman hits the ball through the palace's window?

Ben

Ben

--
Best bits of my website:
afdaFAQ - http://www.netins.net/showcase/benssite/afdafaq
Triangle and Robert archive: http://www.netins.net/showcase/benssite/tandr/

Screwtape

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Dec 20, 2000, 2:53:07 AM12/20/00
to
Matt schrieb:

>Anyway, how come you know so little about it? I thought cricket was
>beaten into kids down there...

I'm a CompSci major, son of a MEng. Cricket doesn't get much of a
showing 'round here.

--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian
|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|

| ^X^S^H^H:wq^H^H
|

Screwtape

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Dec 20, 2000, 3:03:42 AM12/20/00
to
Wikkit schrieb:

>In article <slrn93ug...@ferd2.thristian.org>,
>thristianS...@atdot.org wrote:
>>-Wikkit schrieb:

>No, you're about 1.5 years older, boy.

Ahh, that's OK then, old man. :)

>>->What is a wicket, by the way, and what is a sticky wicket? My nick is a
>>->DNA ref to a cricket ref, but I don't actually understand it...
>>-
>>-How much do you know about cricket?
>
>Slightly less than nothing. Misinformation, y'know.

It's continually impressive to me that people who understand baseball
apparently can't understand cricket. I'm sure they're just a
topological transformation apart.

>>-- The active batsman, getting balls thrown at him, has to deflect the
>>- ball away from a flimsy wooden framework behind him.
>
>So it's like a person trying to deflect those ray gun shots with a
>lighsaber, except their liff isn't in danger, and they are trying to
>defend the wicket, instead of their body, and they use a paddle instead of
>a light saber, and it's a cricket ball instead of a ray gun blast, and
>it's a cricket pitcher, rather than a storn trooper, and it's a batsman
>instead of a jedi?
>
>Maybe it's not much like a person trying to deflect those ray gun shots
>like with a light saber. Light sabers would probably make the game more
>interesting, though...

Actually, the stormtrooper analogy is pretty much it. Except for the
Bodyline series back whenever, when the British bowlers tried to
intimidate the Australian batsmen by bowling at their heads.
Cricketballs are not small, with an appreciable mass, and a momentum
which is markedly worrying if it's headed between your eyes.

>>-- The flimsy wooden framework is called a "wicket" and looks like
>>- this:
>>-
>>- ---- ----
>>- | | |
>>- | | |
>>- | | |
>>- | | |
>>- | | |
>
>Which is what the whole Wikkit Key thing was supposed to look like, not
>like the thing in my x-face.

Never seen your X-Face, but you got it in one.

>>-- The vertical bits are the "stumps", three seperate wooden stakes
>>- driven into the ground, spaced exactly one-cricket-ball-diameter
>>- apart. The horizontal bits are "bails", and there's two - one to
>>- go between Stump 1 and Stump 2, and one to straddle stumps 2 and
>>- 3.
>
>Is one bail silver and the other gold? Are the stumps stainless steel,
>perspex, and wood, in no particular order?

Well, no. Sadly. Pretty much all-wood - which is where the famous
Ashes come from, that Britain is forever trying to win from the
Australians.

>>-- Astute readers will notice that my definition of "sticky wicket"
>>- does not reference my definition of "wicket". I'm not sure if this
>>- is Just Part Of The Game, or if "wicket" can also refer to the
>>- "main-area-of-play". That might also be the cricket "pitch".
>
>Either way, you still know more about it than me.

Just me.

>Now, wehre does a bowling green come into all this,

I don't believe it does. Lawn bowls is less similar to cricket than
cricket is to baseball.

>and why would they name a town in Missouri after it?

I defy anyone to send me a postcard from Sticky Wicket, Missouri.

In other related American-Places-Beginning-With-M news, I discovered
today to my horror that the World's Largest Ball Of Twine, as featured
in the classic LucasArts game "Sam and Max Hit The Road" is actually a
real place.

>>-Screwtape,
>>-...only slightly more informed than Wikkit about Wikkit's name.
>
>Ben,
>... quite a bit less knowledgeable about Screwtape's name than Screwtape.

's OK. That just means I get to wear my "Domain Expert" badge.

--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian

|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|
| "My beverage utensil experiences a volume crisis."
|

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 3:49:42 AM12/20/00
to
Screwtape <s...@ferd2.thristian.org> said:
>
>It's continually impressive to me that people who understand baseball
>apparently can't understand cricket. I'm sure they're just a
>topological transformation apart.

The baseball->cricket transform is exothermic, the excess energy being
used to convert cold beer to warm beer. That so many folks drink beer
whilst watching baseball is part of an insidious British imperial plot
to drive the heat engine and increase the amount of cricket in the
universe.

Today's paranoia has been brought to you by the letters S and Q.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are named Carnot

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 3:55:12 AM12/20/00
to
Screwtape wrote ...

>
>In other related American-Places-Beginning-With-M news, I
>discovered today to my horror that the World's Largest Ball
>Of Twine, as featured in the classic LucasArts game "Sam
>and Max Hit The Road" is actually a real place.

Same ball of twine as in the classic Travolta vehicle "Michael"?

Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti loved all the non-plussed
looks John Hurt did in that one.


MonsterRavingLoony

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 6:50:36 AM12/20/00
to
In article <slrn940sl6...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu>,

dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) wrote:
> Screwtape <s...@ferd2.thristian.org> said:
> >
> >It's continually impressive to me that people who understand baseball
> >apparently can't understand cricket. I'm sure they're just a
> >topological transformation apart.
>
> The baseball->cricket transform is exothermic, the excess energy being
> used to convert cold beer to warm beer. That so many folks drink beer
> whilst watching baseball is part of an insidious British imperial plot
> to drive the heat engine and increase the amount of cricket in the
> universe.
>
> Today's paranoia has been brought to you by the letters S and Q.
>

Nothing so innocent. The reason Americans don't understand cricket is
that they don't understand baseball. They only pretend to have an
interest in it so that they can keep clubs around without arousing
suspicion from the authorities.

The same applies to manuals (as the FLAA says, does anyone actually
read them?) except they can be used as a projectile as well...

> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are named Carnot

MonsterRavingLoony
...Making fun of mental disabilities just isn't cricket.

Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 7:43:41 AM12/20/00
to
late...@usa.net (Wikkit) attempted to infuriate me by saying:

>Maybe it's not much like a person trying to deflect those ray gun shots
>like with a light saber. Light sabers would probably make the game more
>interesting, though...

This is true of so many games. Heck, I might become a sports fan if that
happened.

Alas, the team owners would have to pony up even more money for
hazardous duty pay. I'm sure we'd see some Jedi Knight signing a
quarter-trillion dollar deal for six years of play, with a fifty-billion
dollar bonus thrown in for each dismemberment he suffered.

>Now, wehre does a bowling green come into all this, and why would they
>name a town in Missouri after it?

Not Missouri, sfarzino, but definitely KY.

Sid

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 1:03:42 PM12/20/00
to
In article <slrn940p...@ferd2.thristian.org>,
thristianS...@atdot.org wrote:

> I'm a CompSci major, son of a MEng. Cricket doesn't get much of a
> showing 'round here.

I am CompEng major, son of a Marine Biologist and a MechEngineer who's
an Air Force officer and cricket is still life around here.

Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 1:15:17 PM12/20/00
to
Sid <sid...@usa.net> attempted to infuriate me by saying:

>I am CompEng major, son of a Marine Biologist and a MechEngineer who's

That's frightening. Seems McDonald's has its fingers in every pie these
days.

What kind of special sauce is recommended for the McEngineer sandwich?

Ian Davis

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 3:35:01 PM12/20/00
to
Fierce Cookie wrote:
> That's frightening. Seems McDonald's has its fingers in every pie these
> days.

You think that's frightening? I misread "seems" as "semen."

Ian.

Chris Wesling

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 7:17:52 PM12/20/00
to
MonsterRavingLoony wrote:
>
> In article <slrn940sl6...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu>,
> dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) wrote:
> > Screwtape <s...@ferd2.thristian.org> said:
> > >
> > >It's continually impressive to me that people who understand
> > >baseball apparently can't understand cricket. I'm sure they're
> > >just a topological transformation apart.
> >
> > The baseball->cricket transform is exothermic, the excess energy
> > being used to convert cold beer to warm beer. That so many folks
> > drink beer whilst watching baseball is part of an insidious
> > British imperial plot to drive the heat engine and increase the
> > amount of cricket in the universe.
> >
> > Today's paranoia has been brought to you by the letters S and Q.
>
> Nothing so innocent. The reason Americans don't understand cricket is
> that they don't understand baseball. They only pretend to have an
> interest in it so that they can keep clubs around without arousing
> suspicion from the authorities.

Not so. I understand baseball just fine. The trouble is, understanding
baseball is actually a *handicap* when attempting to understand cricket,
because cricket uses some of the same terms in completely different
ways. "Runs", for instance, are utterly baffling in cricket if you're
used to what they are in baseball.

Chris W., who still doesn't want any cricket explanations because his
brain is just too adapted to baseball to make sense of cricket, all
right? Lalalalala I can't hear you....
--
Remove spam to email me.

"The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is
an intimate knowledge of its ugly side." - James Baldwin

Sara M

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 7:22:34 PM12/20/00
to

Chris Wesling wrote:

Not even the bit when they "bowl a maiden over"?

No interest at all?

Freyja

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 8:10:42 PM12/20/00
to

"Sara M" <e...@speedlink.com.au> wrote in message
news:3A414D4A...@speedlink.com.au...

I'll get my corset and skirt, you get the whip.

After we figure out if the Brewers have a chance this season.

--
Freyja
(de-spam e-mail addy)


Sara M

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 9:34:41 PM12/20/00
to
Freyja wrote:

Cool - what flavour??

> After we figure out if the Brewers have a chance this season.

Brewers droop - I've heard of that.

Jim Evans

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 10:27:55 PM12/20/00
to
Comrade Screwtape wrote:
> Matt schrieb:
> >Anyway, how come you know so little about it? I thought cricket was
> >beaten into kids down there...
>
> I'm a CompSci major, son of a MEng. Cricket doesn't get much of a
> showing 'round here.

MEng the MErciless?

JIM, all hail "Flash" Allen!

--
The RHOD Who's Who
http://www.geocities.com/hydrogenguy/whoswho/index.htm
The JIM Experience
http://welcome.to/the_jim_experience
This Week: Bad Voodoo in Maple Ridge!

richardfi...@my-deja.com

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 10:54:51 PM12/20/00
to
Sara M wrote:
> Chris Wesling wrote:
> >
> > Chris W., who doesn't want any cricket explanations because his

> > brain is just too adapted to baseball to make sense of cricket, all
> > right? Lalalalala I can't hear you....
>
> Not even the bit when they "bowl a maiden over"?

The only difficult bit about that one is the plural.

I'll get me baggy green cap...

Chris Wesling

unread,
Dec 20, 2000, 11:33:09 PM12/20/00
to
Sara M wrote:
>
> Chris Wesling wrote:
> >
> > Chris W., who still doesn't want any cricket explanations because
> > his brain is just too adapted to baseball to make sense of cricket,
> > all right? Lalalalala I can't hear you....
>
> Not even the bit when they "bowl a maiden over"?
>
> No interest at all?

I *might* be interested in hearing that, if I weren't thoroughly
convinced that -- like everything else in cricket -- it'll turn out to
be something that bears absolutely no resemblance to what it sounds
like... [1]

Now I'm thinking I need to dig out my IINHHGTTGT [2] and find that
Douglas Adams quote about cricket being an inexplicable and rather dull
game, just to show that it's not just us non-Brits who don't get it.

Chris W.

[1] Go ahead, EGK, prove me wrong. I dare you.
[2] Increasingly Inaccurately Named HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy
Trilogy. But you knew that, of course...


--
Remove spam to email me.

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Donald Welsh

unread,
Dec 21, 2000, 6:17:19 AM12/21/00
to
On Tue, 19 Dec 2000 23:37:57 -0600, late...@usa.net (Wikkit) wrote:

>In article <3a4aeab9...@news.btinternet.com>,
>kof...@yahoo.co.uk.nospam (Matt) wrote:
>
>>-Yes. If one is batting on a sticky wicket, it's harder to slog the
>>-ball.
>
>Slog? Is that where John Goodman hits the ball through the palace's window?

No, it's the doglike things.

-- D. "If you possess a Slig, you can order them around." W.

Richard Fitzpatrick

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Dec 21, 2000, 5:02:39 AM12/21/00
to
Ian Davis wrote in message <3A4117...@ludwig.edu.au>...

*You* would. Or so it seems.

Richard


Matt

unread,
Dec 21, 2000, 4:11:02 PM12/21/00
to
All men have secrets, and here is mine:
[Sid <sid...@usa.net>]

>In article <slrn940p...@ferd2.thristian.org>,
> thristianS...@atdot.org wrote:
>
>> I'm a CompSci major, son of a MEng. Cricket doesn't get much of a
>> showing 'round here.
>
>I am CompEng major, son of a Marine Biologist and a MechEngineer who's
>an Air Force officer and cricket is still life around here.
>

My cat's breath smells like catfood.

Lane Gray, Czar Castic

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 3:19:27 AM2/1/01
to
Just before ducking for cover, Aggravated Sugarwafer said, "please sir,
it's only waeffer theen" and then stuffed this morsel into the mouth of
rhod:

> Sid <sid...@usa.net> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>
> >I am CompEng major, son of a Marine Biologist and a MechEngineer
who's
>
> That's frightening. Seems McDonald's has its fingers in every pie
these
> days.
>
> What kind of special sauce is recommended for the McEngineer sandwich?

85-W90?


--
Lane Gray, dobroist(http://members.aol.com/e9c6zum/shesgone.wav), mead
maker, steel picker, Dagorhirim, husband, soon-to-be-ex-procrastinator.
I want my jetpack! see www.solotrek.com
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded . . .

Lane Gray, Czar Castic

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 3:29:42 AM2/1/01
to
Just before ducking for cover, Screwtape said, "please sir, it's only

waeffer theen" and then stuffed this morsel into the mouth of rhod:

> It's continually impressive to me that people who understand baseball


> apparently can't understand cricket. I'm sure they're just a
> topological transformation apart.
>

I can understand most of the gameplay. The scoring seems to be
completely beyond me, and I listen to the BBC WorldService every night
we work. I understand that you can score multiple runs for every time
you hit the ball, but I am trying to figure out what the hell an "over"
is, and, assuming I understand it correctly, why any team would
"declare" before their team had an unassailable lead over the other
team. I can understand that in baseball, each team can keep going until
the defense has rung up three outs.

>
> Actually, the stormtrooper analogy is pretty much it. Except for the
> Bodyline series back whenever, when the British bowlers tried to
> intimidate the Australian batsmen by bowling at their heads.
> Cricketballs are not small, with an appreciable mass, and a momentum
> which is markedly worrying if it's headed between your eyes.
>

Kind of like looking down a Dwight Gooden (a few years ago, when he had
a flaming fastball) fastball coming at your head, and hoping it will
break somewhere, and soon.

Lane Gray, Czar Castic

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 3:32:46 AM2/1/01
to
Just before ducking for cover, Freyja said, "please sir, it's only

waeffer theen" and then stuffed this morsel into the mouth of rhod:

>


> After we figure out if the Brewers have a chance this season.

Of course they do. For infinitesimal values of chance. Roughly the
same value as that of the Royals.

Lane Gray, Czar Castic

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 3:36:44 AM2/1/01
to
Just before ducking for cover, Fierce Cookie said, "please sir, it's

only
waeffer theen" and then stuffed this morsel into the mouth of rhod:

>


> >Now, wehre does a bowling green come into all this, and why would
they
> >name a town in Missouri after it?
>
> Not Missouri, sfarzino, but definitely KY.
>

Ack Shirley, there is one in Missouri. If you get bored, look on US 61
about an hour's drive north of the Junction with I-70 ( just west of St.
Louis), right near where it meets US 36. There is also one in Virginia,
IIRC.

Sid

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 5:04:26 AM2/1/01
to
In article <W79e6.10880$6O.4...@typhoon.kc.rr.com>,

"Lane Gray, Czar Castic" <cgra...@kc.rr.com> wrote:

> I can understand most of the gameplay. The scoring seems to be
> completely beyond me, and I listen to the BBC WorldService every night
> we work. I understand that you can score multiple runs for every time
> you hit the ball, but I am trying to figure out what the hell an over

In cricket there is no diamond or a mound. The bowlers (equivalent to
baseball's pitcher) bowl from either end of the pitch (a 22 yard long
area in the middle of the field which is where most of the action
begins). Each side is used alternately for a duration of one over
(which is 6 legal balls).

> is, and, assuming I understand it correctly, why any team would
> "declare" before their team had an unassailable lead over the other
> team. I can understand that in baseball, each team can keep going
until
> the defense has rung up three outs.

We have two versions. One version has each side batting only for a
limited number of overs (which is known as *surprise surprise* limited
overs cricket). The other version has each side batting on for as long
as they can or until they delare. This kind of cricket can last for
upto five days (no kidding). This is called Test cricket (I reckon it's
because it tests your nerves).

Sid
--
s...@siddhartha.8m.com

Superior ability breeds superior ambition.
-- Spock, "Space Seed", stardate 3141.9

Dave Hemming

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 6:08:41 AM2/1/01
to
On Thu, 01 Feb 2001 08:29:42 GMT, "Lane Gray, Czar Castic"
<cgra...@kc.rr.com> wrote:

[cricket]

>I can understand most of the gameplay. The scoring seems to be
>completely beyond me, and I listen to the BBC WorldService every night
>we work. I understand that you can score multiple runs for every time
>you hit the ball, but I am trying to figure out what the hell an "over"
>is,

After 6 balls, you change ends. I believe the same technique is used
in some porn movies.

>and, assuming I understand it correctly, why any team would
>"declare" before their team had an unassailable lead over the other
>team.

Because there's a time limit on the game, and no matter how far in
front you are, if the other team doesn't get to complete their
innings, it's a draw. It adds an element of strategy to the game,
and is mainly responsible for the English team not losing many test
matches.

They don't win many, admittedly, but we take what we can get.

Dave
--
"You ate my brother!"
"Well, he started it."
http://wavespace.waverider.co.uk/~surfbaud/index.html
New Stories and comics Jan 2001

Dave Hemming

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 6:15:41 AM2/1/01
to
On Thu, 01 Feb 2001 08:36:44 GMT, "Lane Gray, Czar Castic"
<cgra...@kc.rr.com> wrote:

>Just before ducking for cover, Fierce Cookie said, "please sir, it's
>only
>waeffer theen" and then stuffed this morsel into the mouth of rhod:
>
>>
>> >Now, wehre does a bowling green come into all this, and why would
>they
>> >name a town in Missouri after it?
>>
>> Not Missouri, sfarzino, but definitely KY.
>>
>Ack Shirley, there is one in Missouri. If you get bored, look on US 61
>about an hour's drive north of the Junction with I-70 ( just west of St.
>Louis), right near where it meets US 36. There is also one in Virginia,
>IIRC.

http://mapping.usgs.gov/www/gnis/gnisform.html - the US Geological
Survey's searchable online database - lists 65 features with
"Bowling Green" in the name, in CA, FL, GA, IL, IN, KY, LA, MD, MO,
MS, NC, NJ, NM, NY, OH, PA, SC, TN, UT and VA.

Hours of fun can be had looking up rude words, too.

BJ

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 9:57:25 AM2/1/01
to
On Wed, 20 Dec 2000 08:03:42 +0000, s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
wrote:


>
>It's continually impressive to me that people who understand baseball
>apparently can't understand cricket. I'm sure they're just a
>topological transformation apart.
>

Well, in my youth I used to "play at" baseball ( I won't even credit
myself with having "played" the game, but having made the attempt).
As a supposed-adult (hah, got THEM fooled) I've done a lot of umpiring
for youth baseball. Seeing the look on a 8-yr old's face when you
call them out at home plate is priceless; having to run from the
grandmother of the 8 yr old because she is swinging her umbrella at
you with intent to castrate is equally priceless (but much more
vital). Seeing the look of pure contempt from the 8yr old who knows
as much as you do that he was perfectly safe is... well, never mind.

Being the dumb American, however, the only cricket I really know about
is played with darts. As for the "real" game, all I know comes from
that tome of all knowledge written by Sir Douglas Adams. And, quite
honestly, with that knowledge of the real game in mind, I don't think
I want to know any more than that... it will ruin the wonderful mental
picture.

("whadda ya mean, there aren't any robots??")

-- BJ (who still thinks that "pitch" is a verb, not a noun...)

BJ Backitis
bjbackitis at alumni dot clemson dot edu
Proudly serving the Usenet^H^H^H^H^H^HInternet Oracle since 1990

Screwtape

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 5:27:28 AM2/1/01
to
Lane Gray, Czar Castic schrieb:

>Just before ducking for cover, Screwtape said, "please sir, it's only
>waeffer theen" and then stuffed this morsel into the mouth of rhod:
>
>> It's continually impressive to me that people who understand baseball
>> apparently can't understand cricket. I'm sure they're just a
>> topological transformation apart.
>
>I can understand most of the gameplay. The scoring seems to be
>completely beyond me, and I listen to the BBC WorldService every night
>we work.

Scoring, scoring..

>I understand that you can score multiple runs for every time
>you hit the ball, but I am trying to figure out what the hell an "over"
>is,

It's a set number of "bowlings" - not the opposite of a
disemboweling, but to bowel a ball. Usually six or eight. That many
balls are bowled, then something happens - the batsmen swap ends, I
think.

>and, assuming I understand it correctly, why any team would
>"declare" before their team had an unassailable lead over the other
>team.

I don't know what a "declare" is.

>I can understand that in baseball, each team can keep going until
>the defense has rung up three outs.

Ah.. in cricket, you keep going until you've run out of batsmen, or a
predetermined number of overs have been bowled. Then you let the other
team have a bat, and you go fielding. Then, when you've gotten all of
their batsment out, or bowled however many overs (whichever comes
first), you can swap again. The number of swaps is also a variable.

Number of balls in an over, number of overs in an innings, number of
innings played - this sort of flexiblity is what allows cricket to be
played by a family on a sat'dy afternoon in the park, or a three-day
international extravaganza.

>> Actually, the stormtrooper analogy is pretty much it. Except for the
>> Bodyline series back whenever, when the British bowlers tried to
>> intimidate the Australian batsmen by bowling at their heads.
>> Cricketballs are not small, with an appreciable mass, and a momentum
>> which is markedly worrying if it's headed between your eyes.
>
>Kind of like looking down a Dwight Gooden (a few years ago, when he had
>a flaming fastball) fastball coming at your head, and hoping it will
>break somewhere, and soon.

Mmmm, misdirection of pronouns. :)

--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian
|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|
| Screwtape: Dean of Iniquity.
|

Jason

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 3:58:00 PM2/1/01
to


Not if the fastball didn't break.

Jason

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 4:57:21 PM2/1/01
to
I am really, really sorry. I meant to snip that.

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 5:52:19 PM2/1/01
to
Jason <jbea...@primary.net> said:
>I am really, really sorry. I meant to snip that.

And with that appology, Jason washes his hands of the whole matter.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies see germs everywhere

--
Daniel Macks
dma...@a.chem.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks

TimC

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 8:12:03 PM2/1/01
to
Sid was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:

>In article <W79e6.10880$6O.4...@typhoon.kc.rr.com>,
> "Lane Gray, Czar Castic" <cgra...@kc.rr.com> wrote:
>
>> I can understand most of the gameplay. The scoring seems to be
>> completely beyond me, and I listen to the BBC WorldService every night
>> we work. I understand that you can score multiple runs for every time
>> you hit the ball, but I am trying to figure out what the hell an over
>
>In cricket there is no diamond or a mound. The bowlers (equivalent to
>baseball's pitcher) bowl from either end of the pitch (a 22 yard long
>area in the middle of the field which is where most of the action
>begins). Each side is used alternately for a duration of one over
>(which is 6 legal balls).
And an illegal ball will get you fined $1000, a month in prison, and 3 demerit
points.


>
>> is, and, assuming I understand it correctly, why any team would
>> "declare" before their team had an unassailable lead over the other
>> team. I can understand that in baseball, each team can keep going
>until
>> the defense has rung up three outs.
>
>We have two versions. One version has each side batting only for a
>limited number of overs (which is known as *surprise surprise* limited
>overs cricket). The other version has each side batting on for as long
>as they can or until they delare. This kind of cricket can last for
>upto five days (no kidding). This is called Test cricket (I reckon it's
>because it tests your nerves).

And since you have a 5 day limit, and each team has to play twice, no one wins
the game if it is not finished, then you declare if you know you will not
lose.

--
TimC -- http://www.ug.cs.usyd.edu.au/~tconnors

Error in operator: add beer

Henriette Kress

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 8:47:43 PM2/1/01
to
s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:

>It's a set number of "bowlings" - not the opposite of a
>disemboweling, but to bowel a ball. Usually six or eight. That many
>balls are bowled, then something happens - the batsmen swap ends, I
>think.

... with whom?

Hetta
--
he...@saunalahti.fi BoRHOD - http://ibiblio.org/herbmed/rhod/main.html

The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both
sides ambushed each other.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms)

Cici in Texas

unread,
Feb 1, 2001, 10:23:05 PM2/1/01
to
On Thu, 01 Feb 2001 08:36:44 GMT, "Lane Gray, Czar Castic"
<cgra...@kc.rr.com> wrote, among other things:

>Just before ducking for cover, Fierce Cookie said, "please sir, it's
>only
>waeffer theen" and then stuffed this morsel into the mouth of rhod:
>
>>
>> >Now, wehre does a bowling green come into all this, and why would
>they
>> >name a town in Missouri after it?
>>
>> Not Missouri, sfarzino, but definitely KY.
>>
>Ack Shirley, there is one in Missouri. If you get bored, look on US 61
>about an hour's drive north of the Junction with I-70 ( just west of St.
>Louis), right near where it meets US 36. There is also one in Virginia,
>IIRC.

There is also a Bowling Green, Ohio. (NW part of the state)


--
Cici in Texas e-mail: cclovis at mindspring dot com

If you can read this, you are within firing range.

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 5:34:46 AM2/2/01
to
TimC wrote ...

>Sid was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
>> "Lane Gray, Czar Castic" <cgra...@kc.rr.com> wrote:
>>
>>> I can understand most of the gameplay. The scoring seems
>>> to be completely beyond me, and I listen to the BBC World
>>> Service every night we work. I understand that you can score
>>> multiple runs for every time you hit the ball, but I am trying to
>>> figure out what the hell an over
>>
>>Each side is used alternately for a duration of one over (which
>>is 6 legal balls).
>
>And an illegal ball will get you fined $1000, a month in prison,
>and 3 demerit points.

<THWAP!>

Don't pay any attention to TimC if you actually want to understand cricket.


Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 6:08:33 AM2/2/01
to
Richard Fitzpatrick wrote...

>
>Don't pay any attention to TimC if you actually want to
>understand cricket.

Not wishing to appear unduly harsh, I meant that TimC probably loves and
knows *lots* about cricket, but also loves and knows *lots* about
predator-raptoring.


Sara M

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 6:32:22 AM2/2/01
to

Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:

It's no use Richard - they're all asleep, pupating till morning, busy
dissolving the day's ingestions with their copious, slimy gastric juices...

I say we whip up some garlic butter and grab the fondue forks...

Sara M

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 6:33:33 AM2/2/01
to

Sara M wrote:

Oh oops - strike that - my apologies...

Wrong sort of "cricket"...


Cici in Texas

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 6:44:44 AM2/2/01
to
On Fri, 02 Feb 2001 22:32:22 +1100, Sara M <e...@speedlink.com.au>
wrote, among other things:


Hey now! SOME of us keep the night watch around here!


--
Cici in Texas e-mail: cclovis at mindspring dot com

Man the battle stations! Someone is coming who wants to be reasonable!

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 6:50:41 AM2/2/01
to
Sorry, four generations of teachers and three of cricketers means I just
can't help myself. Especially if some kind soul actually goes to the trouble
of listening on the radio and *begs* for help. This is real basic stuff,
which I am usually good at explaining, so you cricket aficionados just keep
to yourselves for a bit and ignore the simplifications. We're recruiting
and spreading anarchy here, not educating.

Lane Gray, Czar Castic wrote ...


>Screwtape said:
>
>> It's continually impressive to me that people who understand
>> baseball apparently can't understand cricket.
>>

>I can understand most of the gameplay. The scoring seems to be
>completely beyond me, and I listen to the BBC WorldService every night
>we work. I understand that you can score multiple runs for every time
>you hit the ball,

Scoring: 1) hit the ball, 2) don't hit the ball.
1) Hit the ball and run to the other end of the pitch without
getting out = 1 run;
Hit the ball and run to the other end of the pitch and back
without getting out = 2 runs. Etc.
Hit the ball *to* the fence (i.e. along the ground) without
getting out = 4 runs;
Hit the ball *over* the fence (i.e. on the full) without
getting out = 6 runs

2) Your side can score runs without actually hitting the ball,
but this is cricket's equivalent of 'walks' and 'errors,'
so you can pretty much ignore it and still enjoy the game.

>but I am trying to figure out what the hell an "over" is

A bowler bowls six balls from one end of the pitch. That is an over. Then
the bowling team must use another bowler from the other end of the pitch
for - you guessed it - six balls, another over. Then the first bowler gets
to bowl another six balls from his end - another over. And so on.

As I think Sid said, the six balls must be legal ones. Any illegal ones
(incorrectly delivered, too wide to hit, etc) count as a run to the batting
side and must be re-bowled legally. So there may be more than six total
balls in an over, but only ever six legal balls.

>and, assuming I understand it correctly, why any team would
>"declare" before their team had an unassailable lead over the
>other team.

Okay. Declaration, as it is called, is only an option in multi-day games.
That is, Five-Day International Test Matches or four-day State-level
matches. These games are *very* tactical, as they don't have to end in a
win/loss result - they can be, and often are, draws. It can be considered a
victory for a much weaker side to get a draw against a very strong side.

By the same token, the stronger side knows that they are likely to win, but
that if they fiddle around too much, time will run out and they will not
win, but draw. Effectively, for them, a loss.

So the stronger side balances the amount of time left, the number and
quality of batsmen to get out on the other side, the weather etc and decides
that there's not enough time left in the match for them to keep on batting
and *still* get the other side out. The captain says "Bugger it. We're so
far ahead of you, we'll forgo using the batsmen we've got left in this
innings and send you back in early. Go for your life, sunshine."

>Kind of like looking down a Dwight Gooden (a few years ago,
>when he had a flaming fastball)

So, how fast is that? And how far from pitcher to batter?

In cricket, a "fast" bowler may peak at about 150 km/h (from an effective 18
metres, bowler's hand to batsman's head), but there's more to it than that.
The most dangerous/effective bowlers are often slower, but with much more
control over placement and also an ability to make the ball change direction
in the air or off the pitch[1].

Richard, who is now exhausted, full of verdelho and himself and off to bed.

[1] One thing cricket definitely has over baseball - the ball usually hits
the ground before reaching the batsman, which opens up a whole 'nuther raft
of possibilities for bamboozlement.


Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 6:57:43 AM2/2/01
to
Sara M wrote...

>Sara M wrote:
>>
>> It's no use Richard - they're all asleep, pupating till morning, busy
>> dissolving the day's ingestions with their copious, slimy gastric
juices...
>>
>> I say we whip up some garlic butter and grab the fondue forks...

Oo, I'll bring the neufchatel and the crusty bread! And the Verdelho.

Whaddya mean, "wrong sort of fondue"?

>Oh oops - strike that - my apologies...
>
>Wrong sort of "cricket"...

There's another sort? <cough>

Erm, I know - whaddya mean, "wrong sort of cricket"?


Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 8:11:47 AM2/2/01
to
Sara M wrote ...

>
>It's no use Richard - they're all asleep, pupating till morning,
>busy dissolving the day's ingestions with their copious, slimy
>gastric juices...

Hmmm. 'Round about midnight EDST... so, it's about 9 or 10 pm in Singapore
(Sid should be out on Boogie Street), about 2pm in Helsinki (Hetta's
long-lunching with some foolish - but cute - young undergrad), about 1pm GMT
(the UKoGBaNIans are... are... doing whatever they do at lunchtime on a
wintry Friday), about 8am (US)EST (whoa, Jeff! Go back to bed before you
cut your hand off with that bagel!) and "too darn early" for anyone between
the Alleghenies and here.

Oh, well. Catch y'all tomorrow. Erm, your tomorrow. My later today after
some sleep.

Hmph. And Stimpy says they post too much. Hmph.

Richard


BJ

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 9:08:12 AM2/2/01
to
On Fri, 2 Feb 2001 22:50:41 +1100, "Richard Fitzpatrick"
<fit...@webone.com.au> wrote:

<snipping most of a very good basic explanation of cricket>


>
>>Kind of like looking down a Dwight Gooden (a few years ago,
>>when he had a flaming fastball)
>
>So, how fast is that? And how far from pitcher to batter?

Well, it was close to 95mph and it's 60'6" from mound to home plate.
I'm metric-challenged, being a dumb American, but I think that works
out to over 150 km/hr and 18.5 meters/metres to home plate.


>
>In cricket, a "fast" bowler may peak at about 150 km/h (from an effective 18
>metres, bowler's hand to batsman's head), but there's more to it than that.

Hmm... sounds familiar!

>The most dangerous/effective bowlers are often slower, but with much more
>control over placement and also an ability to make the ball change direction
>in the air or off the pitch[1].
>
>Richard, who is now exhausted, full of verdelho and himself and off to bed.
>
>[1] One thing cricket definitely has over baseball - the ball usually hits
>the ground before reaching the batsman, which opens up a whole 'nuther raft
>of possibilities for bamboozlement.

Agreed. But you still haven't explained where the robots fit in!!!!!!

-- BJ (who learned all he needed to know about Cricket from Douglas
Adams)


>

+--------------------------------------------------------+


| BJ Backitis bjbackitis at alumni dot clemson dot edu |

| Proudly serving the Usenet^WInternet Oracle since 1990 |
+--------------------------------------------------------+
| "No man is exempt from saying silly things... the |
| mischief is to say them deliberately" (de Montaigne) |
+--------------------------------------------------------+

Henriette Kress

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 9:41:29 AM2/2/01
to
"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.com.au> wrote:

>Sara M wrote ...
>>It's no use Richard - they're all asleep, pupating till morning,
>>busy dissolving the day's ingestions with their copious, slimy
>>gastric juices...
>
>Hmmm. 'Round about midnight EDST... so, it's about 9 or 10 pm in Singapore
>(Sid should be out on Boogie Street), about 2pm in Helsinki (Hetta's
>long-lunching with some foolish - but cute - young undergrad),

Actually, I was at the publisher's, approving the cover for my new book.
Not that it's written yet, but the cover is cool.

Hetta (... I wouldn't say no to a foolish - but cute - postgrad,
either.)

A day ago the future had looked aching and desolate, and now it looked
full of surprises and terror and bad things happening to people... If
she had anything to do with it anyway.
-- Granny Weatherwax commits optimism
(Terry Pratchett, Maskerade)

Sid

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 10:09:54 AM2/2/01
to
In article <slrn97k2b...@mono.ug.cs.usyd.edu.au>,
tc...@no.physics.spam.usyd.accepted.edu.here.au (TimC) wrote:

> And an illegal ball will get you fined $1000, a month in prison, and
3 demerit
> points.

Or in some cases, international recognition.

Sid
--
s...@siddhartha.8m.com

Q2: "Now you and I both know that the Calamarian would've eventually
destroyed the Enteprise to get to you. And that's really why you left,
right?"
Q: "It was a teeny bit selfless, wasn't it?"
Q2: "Eew, yeah, and there's my problem! See, I can't go back to the
Qontinuum, and tell them that you committed a selfless act just before
you did! If I do, there's going to be questions, there's going to be
explanations, for centuries!"
--"Deja Q", Stardate 43539.1

Sid

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 10:12:41 AM2/2/01
to
In article <3A7A9AC6...@speedlink.com.au>,
Sara M <e...@speedlink.com.au> wrote:

> It's no use Richard - they're all asleep, pupating till morning, busy
> dissolving the day's ingestions with their copious, slimy gastric
juices...

And they don't care about cricket anyway.

Sid
--
s...@siddhartha.8m.com

Kirk: "You belong in a circus...right next to the dog-faced boy!"
--"This Side Of Paradise", Stardate

Sid

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 10:14:21 AM2/2/01
to
In article <sc7l7tscparh4tsh6...@4ax.com>,
ccl...@mindspring.com wrote:

> Hey now! SOME of us keep the night watch around here!

Depends on where night is, isn't it?

I keep night watch here as well.

Sid, for night in three-fourths of the world
--
s...@siddhartha.8m.com

Khan: "I shall leave you as you left me...as you left her. Marooned
for all eternity in the center of a dead planet. Buried alive! Buried
alive!"
--"STII:TWOK", Stardate 8130.4

Sid

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 10:16:52 AM2/2/01
to
In article <3a7a...@iridium.webone.com.au>,
"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.com.au> wrote:

> Hmmm. 'Round about midnight EDST... so, it's about 9 or 10 pm in
> Singapore (Sid should be out on Boogie Street), about 2pm in Helsinki

Atttending a very boring 4-hour long meeting actually. Sid doesn't get
much of Boogie Street of late.

> Oh, well. Catch y'all tomorrow. Erm, your tomorrow. My later today
after
> some sleep.

Did anyone else read that as 'sheep'?

Sid
--
s...@siddhartha.8m.com

Chang: "Tell me, Captain Kirk, will you be willing...to give up
Starfleet?"
Spock: [Clears throat] "I believe the captain feels that Starfleet's
mission has always been one of peace."
Chang: "Ah."
--"STVI:TUC", Stardate 9522.6

Sid

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 10:23:43 AM2/2/01
to
In article <3a7a...@iridium.webone.com.au>,
"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.com.au> wrote:

> to yourselves for a bit and ignore the simplifications. We're
recruiting
> and spreading anarchy here, not educating.

Right O.


> So, how fast is that? And how far from pitcher to batter?
>
> In cricket, a "fast" bowler may peak at about 150 km/h (from an
effective 18
> metres, bowler's hand to batsman's head), but there's more to it than
that.

That's a little less than 100m/h from 22yards away for those who can't
convert.

> [1] One thing cricket definitely has over baseball - the ball usually
hits
> the ground before reaching the batsman, which opens up a
whole 'nuther raft
> of possibilities for bamboozlement.

Agreed. Swing, bounce and turn make the game more exciting and
unpredictable.

Sid, swing, bounce and turn. hmmmm...
--
s...@siddhartha.8m.com

Data: "Thank you for your corporation."
--"Unification II", Stardate Unknown

Donald Welsh

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 11:25:53 AM2/2/01
to

You know, you can cancel that with a "Get out of Jail Free" card.

Donald Welsh

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 11:35:13 AM2/2/01
to
On Fri, 02 Feb 2001 03:47:43 +0200, Henriette Kress
<he...@saunalahti.fi> wrote:

>s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
>
>>It's a set number of "bowlings" - not the opposite of a
>>disemboweling, but to bowel a ball. Usually six or eight. That many
>>balls are bowled, then something happens - the batsmen swap ends, I
>>think.
>
>... with whom?

Between that and the six illegal balls, well ...

-- D. "I never knew cricket was so *dirty*." W.

Donald Welsh

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 11:49:16 AM2/2/01
to
On Thu, 01 Feb 2001 11:08:41 +0000, Dave Hemming
<surf...@waverider.co.uk> wrote:

>On Thu, 01 Feb 2001 08:29:42 GMT, "Lane Gray, Czar Castic"
><cgra...@kc.rr.com> wrote:
>
>[cricket]


>
>>I can understand most of the gameplay. The scoring seems to be

>>completely beyond me, and I listen to the BBC WorldService every night


>>we work. I understand that you can score multiple runs for every time
>>you hit the ball, but I am trying to figure out what the hell an "over"

>>is,
>
>After 6 balls, you change ends. I believe the same technique is used
>in some porn movies.

That's one possibility.

For another, see
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=453880

Jon Wilson

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 12:39:57 PM2/2/01
to
To quote:

"You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the
side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in
until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the
side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes
you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are
out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes
out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time
and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in
and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men
have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game! "

There are two things important to remember about cricket:
1) It is war. All sports are formalised combat to some extent, but cricket is
particularly so - in terms of the practicallities (large numbers of people
throwing hard objects at a smaller number of people armed with clubs) and also
the strategies used.
2) Something exciting could happen *at any time*. It's all about the
anticipation. The fact that the most exciting thing to happen is normally that
it starts raining, is neither here nor there. If you think it is boring then
you don't understand it.

Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:

--
Jon Wilson http://www.netsw.co.uk
Net S.W. Ltd, Bath, UK Tel. (07776) 137939
Do radio-active cats have 18 half-lives?

Trog

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 7:09:05 PM2/2/01
to
Blah rec.humor.oracle.d, blah Sid ...

> The other version has each side batting on for as long as they
> can or until they delare. This kind of cricket can last for upto
> five days (no kidding). This is called Test cricket (I reckon it's
> because it tests your nerves).

Here in Blighty a five-day match is standard County cricket, though it
can finish in fewer days. A declaration is often strategic, and often
called in order to avoid an otherwise inevitable draw.

I'm reminded of trying to explain cricket strategy to an American at a
at the Queens Park Oval (Sri Lanka v West Indies), almost as
unsuccessful as my attempts to explain rugby to an American at the
Concord Oval (NSW v Auckland). These Ovals, they're not conducive to
explanation.

The term "test cricket" is reserved for international matches, which are
usually won by the Australians, especially when they're playing.
--
Tim.

Sid

unread,
Feb 2, 2001, 8:09:06 PM2/2/01
to
In article <MPG.14e55c366...@news.zoom.co.uk>,
Trog <trog@delete]zoom.co.uk> wrote:

> Here in Blighty a five-day match is standard County cricket, though
it

Unless it is one of the pointless one-day kind like the Natwest trophy.


> I'm reminded of trying to explain cricket strategy to an American at
a
> at the Queens Park Oval (Sri Lanka v West Indies), almost as

BTDT. Try explaining to them why the fielders don't wear
gloves. "Because" is obviously not a good enough reason.

> The term "test cricket" is reserved for international matches, which
are
> usually won by the Australians, especially when they're playing.

Which will hopefully change at either the India tour or the Ashes.

Sid
--
s...@siddhartha.8m.com

Crusher: "Wait a minute! You, you can't just come in here and take her
away from everything she's ever known!"
Q: [Laughs] "I assure you I can."
--"True Q", Stardate 46192.3

Cici in Texas

unread,
Feb 3, 2001, 5:17:04 AM2/3/01
to
On Sat, 03 Feb 2001 01:09:06 GMT, Sid <sid...@usa.net> wrote, among
other things:

>In article <MPG.14e55c366...@news.zoom.co.uk>,
> Trog <trog@delete]zoom.co.uk> wrote:

>> I'm reminded of trying to explain cricket strategy to an American at

>> at the Queens Park Oval (Sri Lanka v West Indies), almost as
>
>BTDT. Try explaining to them why the fielders don't wear
>gloves. "Because" is obviously not a good enough reason.

You might include some sort of subtle sneer, the way the rugby players
do . . . something along the lines of 'they're not soft enough to need
gloves.' To continue, 'back when men were men in America, they didn't
wear gloves to play baseball. And no one had to pay them a million
dollars a year to get them to play, either.' Sorry, sneering isn't
really my style, but you get the drift, I'm sure.

AAMOF, there exists today a large group of people devoted to the
re-creation of baseball as it was played circa the 1890s. Not only
have they re-created the period in the uniforms and so on, they play
by 1890s rules -- what they refer to as "old-fashioned, bare-knuckle
baseball." I've never seen a live game, but have seen one on video.
It's quite . . . impressive. Made my wrists ache just to watch.

Sorry, no Web links, but I'm sure y'all can find a few, you and your
search engines and your T1 lines.

--
Cici in Texas e-mail: cclovis at mindspring dot com

It always takes me a long time to finish when I have no idea what I'm doing.

Gordol

unread,
Feb 3, 2001, 7:19:30 AM2/3/01
to
While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Richard
Fitzpatrick said:

; Hmmm. 'Round about midnight EDST... so, it's about 9 or 10 pm in Singapore


; (Sid should be out on Boogie Street), about 2pm in Helsinki (Hetta's
; long-lunching with some foolish - but cute - young undergrad), about 1pm GMT
; (the UKoGBaNIans are... are... doing whatever they do at lunchtime on a
; wintry Friday), about 8am (US)EST (whoa, Jeff! Go back to bed before you
; cut your hand off with that bagel!) and "too darn early" for anyone between
; the Alleghenies and here.

Thanks for your concern. But 8:00am is about when I get off work. I
don't want no steenkin breakfast... I want +DINNER+!

--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.

"Ivonova is always right. I will listen to Ivonova. I will not
ignore Ivonova's recommendations. Ivonova is God. And if this ever
happens again, Ivonova will personally rip your lungs out!" (Lt.
Cmdr. Ivonova (Babylon 5 Mantra), B5 "A Voice in the Wilderness I")

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Feb 3, 2001, 4:04:35 PM2/3/01
to
BJ wrote ...
>Richard Fitzpatrick wrote:
>>BJ wrote ...

>>>
><snipping most of a very good basic explanation of cricket>

Thanks. Next I shall explain the rules of Royal Tennis. In about 2015.

>>>...a Dwight Gooden... fastball


>>
>>So, how fast is that? And how far from pitcher to batter?
>

>... close to 95mph and it's 60'6" from mound to home plate.
>... works out to over 150 km/hr and 18.5 metres.

Sounds like we're in the same... wait for it... BALLPARK!

>But you still haven't explained where the robots fit in!!!!!!

No. But, technically, I didn't explain where the humans fit in, either.

>-- BJ (who learned all he needed to know about Cricket from

>-- Douglas Adams)

Yabbut, that were Krikkit, weren't it?

Richard, who learned all he needed to know about picking leaders of the
Galaxy from the same source.


Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Feb 3, 2001, 4:35:20 PM2/3/01
to
Sid wrote ...

Sid, is that your line length doing that? You and Freyja are the only ones
my newsreader has problems with.

> Trog <trog@delete]zoom.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>> The term "test cricket" is reserved for international matches,
>> which are usually won by the Australians, especially when
>> they're playing.

Only lately. Hands up those who were utterly disappointed by the Windies'
performance in the recent Test Series. <whoosh>

>Which will hopefully change at either the India tour or the Ashes.

LOL. Did you hear Steve Waugh whining about how he suspected the Indian
groundsman may deliberately produce pitches that don't suit Australian
bowling? Hah! Like Australian groundsman never did anything to help Shane
"idiot savant" Warne or Glen "oo-ah" McGrath.

Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti will now return rhodents
to the usual programming - that they still don't understand, but is
different in that they don't realise they don't.


Ian Davis

unread,
Feb 4, 2001, 8:16:11 PM2/4/01
to
In article <95flne$2di$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Sid <sid...@usa.net> wrote:

> In article <MPG.14e55c366...@news.zoom.co.uk>,
> Trog <trog@delete]zoom.co.uk> wrote:
> > The term "test cricket" is reserved for international matches, which
> are
> > usually won by the Australians, especially when they're playing.
>
> Which will hopefully change at either the India tour or the Ashes.

See? Brilliant humour lives on and thrives in this group.

Ian.

Tim Chew

unread,
Feb 4, 2001, 8:42:11 AM2/4/01
to
All right, that's it. Sometime vaguely during an unspecified period
of time before I hit the Reply button on my newsreader, the fingers of
Richard Fitzpatrick did thusly type:

>Don't pay any attention to TimC if you actually want to understand cricket.

Don't pay attention to Tim Chew if you actually want to understand
cricket, either.

--

HRH Prince Timothy T. W. Chew, Duke of North Hills
Full Time Oracle Priest and Professional Giver of Bad Advice
http://twchew.home.mindspring.com
"You don't want my brain, I've had it thirty years, and it hasn't
worked right yet." - Lou Costello

Blow a raspberry to e-mail me.

Jim Evans

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 12:12:51 AM2/5/01
to

I find it humorous that cricket is being discussed in the obsessive
compulsive thread.

JIM, excuse me, I have to go wash my bat

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 12:18:38 AM2/5/01
to
Richard Fitzpatrick <fit...@webone.com.au> said:
>TimC wrote ...
>>Sid was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
>>> "Lane Gray, Czar Castic" <cgra...@kc.rr.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> I can understand most of the gameplay. The scoring seems
>>>> to be completely beyond me, and I listen to the BBC World
>>>> Service every night we work. I understand that you can score
>>>> multiple runs for every time you hit the ball, but I am trying to

>>>> figure out what the hell an over
>>>
>>>Each side is used alternately for a duration of one over (which
>>>is 6 legal balls).
>>
>>And an illegal ball will get you fined $1000, a month in prison,
>>and 3 demerit points.
>
><THWAP!>
>
>Don't pay any attention to TimC if you actually want to understand cricket.

Oh, like anyone pays attention to TimC anyway:)

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies pinned the PR-O-Meter
--
Daniel Macks
dma...@a.chem.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 12:21:16 AM2/5/01
to
Jim Evans <jev...@physics.uottawa.ca> said:
>
>I find it humorous that cricket is being discussed in the obsessive
>compulsive thread.
>
> JIM, excuse me, I have to go wash my bat

Dude, this is a family froup.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies equipped their penis
with sonar for better vision in dark caves

Jim Evans

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 12:43:42 AM2/5/01
to
Comrade Daniel E. Macks wrote:
> Jim Evans <jev...@physics.uottawa.ca> said:
> >
> >I find it humorous that cricket is being discussed in the obsessive
> >compulsive thread.
> >
> > JIM, excuse me, I have to go wash my bat
>
> Dude, this is a family froup.
>
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies equipped their penis
> with sonar for better vision in dark caves

Insert "hummer" comment of your choice *here*.

JIM, who is stuck in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike

Gordol

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 1:03:36 AM2/5/01
to
While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Jim Evans said:

; I find it humorous that cricket is being discussed in the obsessive


; compulsive thread.
;
; JIM, excuse me, I have to go wash my bat

Ah, so that's what you're calling it now.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.

"I sure as hell don't want to talk in front of this thing." (Mr.
Garibaldi, B5 "Hunter, Prey")

Lane Gray, Czar Castic

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 3:52:30 AM2/5/01
to
Just before ducking for cover, Jeff and Siggie said, "please sir, it's
only waeffer theen" and then stuffed this morsel into the mouth of rhod:

> ;


> ; JIM, excuse me, I have to go wash my bat
>
> Ah, so that's what you're calling it now.

<<SNIP>>


> "I sure as hell don't want to talk in front of this thing." (Mr.
> Garibaldi, B5 "Hunter, Prey")

Does Siggie know how much Mello Yello stings when coming out of the
nose?

--
Lane Gray, dobroist(http://members.aol.com/e9c6zum/shesgone.wav), mead
maker, steel picker, Dagorhirim, husband, soon-to-be-ex-procrastinator.
I want my jetpack! see www.solotrek.com
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded . . .

Screwtape

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 3:59:41 AM2/5/01
to
Tim Chew schrieb:

>All right, that's it. Sometime vaguely during an unspecified period
>of time before I hit the Reply button on my newsreader, the fingers of
>Richard Fitzpatrick did thusly type:
>
>>Don't pay any attention to TimC if you actually want to understand cricket.
>
>Don't pay attention to Tim Chew if you actually want to understand
>cricket, either.

I tried paying attention to cricket, but it didn't help me understand
anyone called Tim.

Screwtape,
...now, Jeremy, on the other hand...

--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian
|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|
| Y. Carnica lecked stempser something? Stedder vorlems chir-ped lookin ferrets.
|

Sid

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 4:38:32 AM2/5/01
to
In article <Ian.Davis-F619C...@ariel.ucs.unimelb.edu.au>,
Ian Davis <Ian....@ludwig.edu.au> wrote:

> > Which will hopefully change at either the India tour or the Ashes.
>
> See? Brilliant humour lives on and thrives in this group.

<rec.sport.cricket>

Heard that Brett Lee can't make it for the tour(s). Which means that
now the Aussies are unbeatable.

</>

Sid
--
s...@siddhartha.8m.com

Lwuxana: "Jean-Luc, what naughty thoughts, but how wonderful you still
think of me like that."
--"Manhunt", Stardate 42

Gordol

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 7:15:54 AM2/5/01
to
While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Lane Gray, Czar
Castic said:

; > ; JIM, excuse me, I have to go wash my bat


; >
; > Ah, so that's what you're calling it now.
; <<SNIP>>
; > "I sure as hell don't want to talk in front of this thing." (Mr.
; > Garibaldi, B5 "Hunter, Prey")
;
; Does Siggie know how much Mello Yello stings when coming out of the
; nose?

What, no "keyboard"? *pout*

--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.

"He gave you more than you know. What we did back there shouldn't
have worked. Not with that PsiCop." (Lurker/Blip, B5 "A Race Through
Dark Places")

Tim Chew

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 7:19:37 AM2/5/01
to
All right, that's it. Sometime vaguely during an unspecified period
of time before I hit the Reply button on my newsreader, the fingers of
Screwtape did thusly type:

>Tim Chew schrieb:
>>All right, that's it. Sometime vaguely during an unspecified period
>>of time before I hit the Reply button on my newsreader, the fingers of
>>Richard Fitzpatrick did thusly type:
>>
>>>Don't pay any attention to TimC if you actually want to understand cricket.
>>
>>Don't pay attention to Tim Chew if you actually want to understand
>>cricket, either.
>
>I tried paying attention to cricket, but it didn't help me understand
>anyone called Tim.
>
>Screwtape,
>...now, Jeremy, on the other hand...

I hear he spoke in class today.

Donald Welsh

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 9:34:56 AM2/5/01
to
On Mon, 05 Feb 2001 07:19:37 -0500, twc...@raspberry.mindspring.com (Tim
Chew) wrote:

>All right, that's it. Sometime vaguely during an unspecified period
>of time before I hit the Reply button on my newsreader, the fingers of
>Screwtape did thusly type:
>
>>Tim Chew schrieb:
>>>All right, that's it. Sometime vaguely during an unspecified period
>>>of time before I hit the Reply button on my newsreader, the fingers of
>>>Richard Fitzpatrick did thusly type:
>>>
>>>>Don't pay any attention to TimC if you actually want to understand cricket.
>>>
>>>Don't pay attention to Tim Chew if you actually want to understand
>>>cricket, either.
>>
>>I tried paying attention to cricket, but it didn't help me understand
>>anyone called Tim.
>>
>>Screwtape,
>>...now, Jeremy, on the other hand...
>
>I hear he spoke in class today.

I hear he doesn't like Mondays.

Sara M

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 9:46:33 AM2/5/01
to

Donald Welsh wrote:

And Tuesday's Dead...


Sid

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 11:19:51 AM2/5/01
to
In article <3A7EBCC9...@speedlink.com.au>,
Sara M <e...@speedlink.com.au> wrote:

> > I hear he doesn't like Mondays.
>
> And Tuesday's Dead...

And Friday I'm in Love.

Sid
--
s...@siddhartha.8m.com

Martia: "But there is a reward for your death."
McCoy: "It figures."
--"STVI:TUC", Stardate 9523.8

Dave Hemming

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 12:53:31 PM2/5/01
to
On Tue, 06 Feb 2001 01:46:33 +1100, Sara M <e...@speedlink.com.au>
wrote:

>Donald Welsh wrote:
>
>> On Mon, 05 Feb 2001 07:19:37 -0500, twc...@raspberry.mindspring.com (Tim
>> Chew) wrote:

[snip]

>> >>...now, Jeremy, on the other hand...
>> >
>> >I hear he spoke in class today.
>>
>> I hear he doesn't like Mondays.
>
>And Tuesday's Dead...
>

We were making love by Wednesday...

Dave
Not me and Jeremy, obviously
--
"You ate my brother!"
"Well, he started it."
http://wavespace.waverider.co.uk/~surfbaud/index.html
New Stories and comics Jan 2001

Gordol

unread,
Feb 5, 2001, 1:26:29 PM2/5/01
to
While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Sid said:

; > > I hear he doesn't like Mondays.


; > And Tuesday's Dead...
; And Friday I'm in Love.

Saturday's Alright For Fighting.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.

"Vir! What are you doing?!?" "I'm being efficient, sir." "A few
more like you, Vir, and the entire Centauri Republic will efficient
itself to extinction!" (Amb. Mollari Londo and Vir Coto, B5 "Grail")

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