Reading "Humor" Posts
Leon
the posts here. As a professional writer, lecturer, motivator and humorist,
I would like to post some advice.
1, Assume the posts here, in "rec.humor.jewish" are humorous or intended to
be humorous.
2. Allow for typos because many contributors are not professional typists or
computer-savvy enough to know how to spell-check a newsgroup post,
3. Get a Yiddish dictionary to look up such words as "yenta", "puppik", "oy
gevalt" and the various food groups, such as "Momma's", "tref" and
"geschmacht."
4. Expect to see oldies, goodies, not-so-funny ones the moderators allow to
pass their rigid inspection and questions from well-meaning goyim.
5. Lighten up. See Number 1, above.
You're welcome.
Leon
jhlowy
"Leon" <words...@att.net> wrote in message
news:ahRze.403680$cg1....@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
Charlie Bress
"Leon" <words...@att.net> wrote in message
news:ahRze.403680$cg1....@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
> the posts here. As a professional writer, lecturer, motivator and
> humorist, I would like to post some advice.
>
>> "oy
> gevalt" and the various food groups, such as "Momma's", "tref" and
> "geschmacht."
>
> Leon
Ah, Leon! I remember when this newsgroup would have a regular posting of a
Yiddish Glossary.
Sad to say it did not outlive its author.
Charlie
maxine in ri
connected the dots and wrote:
~Some of the participants in this Newsgroup seem to have a problem
reading
~the posts here. As a professional writer, lecturer, motivator and
humorist,
~I would like to post some advice.
~
~1, Assume the posts here, in "rec.humor.jewish" are humorous or
intended to
~be humorous.
~2. Allow for typos because many contributors are not professional
typists or
~computer-savvy enough to know how to spell-check a newsgroup post,
~3. Get a Yiddish dictionary to look up such words as "yenta",
"puppik", "oy
~gevalt" and the various food groups, such as "Momma's", "tref" and
~"geschmacht."
~4. Expect to see oldies, goodies, not-so-funny ones the moderators
allow to
~pass their rigid inspection and questions from well-meaning goyim.
~5. Lighten up. See Number 1, above.
~
~You're welcome.
~
~Leon
Aw, but that takes all the fun out of it!
Another county heard from.
maxine in ri
fred
Leon wrote:
> Some of the participants in this Newsgroup seem to have a problem reading
> the posts here. As a professional writer, lecturer, motivator and humorist,
> I would like to post some advice.
>
> 1, Assume the posts here, in "rec.humor.jewish" are humorous or intended to
> be humorous.
> 2. Allow for typos because many contributors are not professional typists or
> computer-savvy enough to know how to spell-check a newsgroup post,
I don't make a big deal about typos per se, but if a particular typo
happens to lend itself to word play, then all bets are off.
Bob Cowell
>
>Ah, Leon! I remember when this newsgroup would have a regular posting of a
>Yiddish Glossary.
>Sad to say it did not outlive its author.
>
>Charlie
>
actually it did
Philip Sego regularly posts a message containing:
RHJ Monthly Posting
Contents:
1. Charter
2. FAQ
3. Copyright FAQ
4. Glossary of some Hebrew and Yiddish words
5. Netiquette
6. Server problems - Is your post being seen by anyone but you?
Leon
"fred" <fre...@juno.com> wrote
> I don't make a big deal about typos per se, but if a particular typo
> happens to lend itself to word play, then all bets are off.
I'm sorry, but once you have bought the word play ticket, the bet stands.
It's a good thing you are dealing with an honest betting parlor because if
you tried to pull that on Guido, he might try to rearrange your features.
Leon
Marvin
Phillip Sego
the subject line "ANNOUNCE - RHJ Monthly Posting." You can also find it at
http://www.philsego.com/rhj/index.html
The original author was Paula Taft, Z''L, one of RHJ's founders and
moderators. Paula posted under the pen name "Annie".
-- Phil
"Marvin" <phys...@cloud9.net> wrote in message
news:11d59ma...@corp.supernews.com...
Leon
cartoon.
More than one sofer (Torah scribe) uses OCR (optical character recognition)
to check his work after repairing a Torah of klaf. In Boro Park or
Williamsburg (Brooklyn Hassidic neighborhoods) computers are an integral
part of the record-keeping of many shuls (we all know the meaning of that
word, I hope) and are used in many yeshivot.
More likely would be the destruction of TV sets, which spew "vile filth"
(such as dancing, women in pants and recipes for tref food) into the living
rooms, family rooms, dens and (G-d forbid) bedrooms of the non-frum.
Leon
Charlie Bress
"Bob Cowell" <trash...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:giu4d15jdvgi5jn1k...@4ax.com...
Guilty as charged, your honor.
I have been reading this newsgroup for so long that I am absolutely positive
that I know what is in the monthly posting and toss it off with an "oh well,
there's Phil again".
Mail a wet noodle to my home address and I will administer the appropriate
punishment to myself.
Charlie (with embarrassed look)
James Rau
"Mark" <Markieh...@notelespam2.fr> wrote in message
news:dlRAe.12095$hV3....@nntpserver.swip.net...
> X-No-Archive: Yes> news:Y%PAe.413561$cg1.2...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
>> Reluctant as I am to contradict Reb Sego, I must comment on the subject
>> cartoon.
>
> endorsement of Firefox, 'that it blocks the schmutz'. What was he doing
> surfing for schmutz in the first place?
You'd be amazed by the amount of "dirt" one runs across on the web, even
when one isn't looking for it. The World Wide Web is more like a spider's
web: Full of dirt and bugs. Pop-ups, malware, viruses, script-kiddies, you
name it, it's out there. Sometimes I have to take a bath after surfing the
web, I get so much unwanted schmutz on me.
James Rau
fred
> Reminding me of the first idea that I had on reading the chief Rabbi's
> endorsement of Firefox, 'that it blocks the schmutz'. What was he doing
> surfing for schmutz in the first place?
That's the ancient dichotomy between remaining "pure" and aloof from
the world vs. becoming involved with the needs of the Jewish people at
the risk of becoming "tainted" by the world. The Chief Rabbi is
obviously of the latter sort. One cannot presume to give guidance on
the affairs of daily life without an intimate knowledge of the details
of that life.
Bob Cowell
>
>Guilty as charged, your honor.
>I have been reading this newsgroup for so long that I am absolutely positive
>that I know what is in the monthly posting and toss it off with an "oh well,
>there's Phil again".
>
>Mail a wet noodle to my home address and I will administer the appropriate
>punishment to myself.
>
>Charlie (with embarrassed look)
I can send you a DRY noodle, and you can wet it yourself,
We got no extra water to spare, Kind of a drought going on.
Just yesterday I saw four trees chasing the same dog
hoping for a few drops of "water"
Damn gumment anyway,
if that get a good depression or recession going, they start a drought ;-)
Charlie Bress
4.9 inches) I can ship you a backyardful.
Charlie
Eliyahu Rooff
"Charlie Bress" <cbr...@paamail.com> wrote in message
news:Q6-dnRXG39y...@comcast.com...
Washington.
Eliyahu
Leon
"Charlie Bress" <cbr...@paamail.com> wrote
> Guilty as charged, your honor.
> I have been reading this newsgroup for so long that I am absolutely
> positive that I know what is in the monthly posting and toss it off with
> an "oh well, there's Phil again".
>
> Mail a wet noodle to my home address and I will administer the appropriate
> punishment to myself.
>
> Charlie (with embarrassed look)
Don't be embarrassed, Charlie. These things happen. First, it starts with
skipping Phil's posts. Then we stop opening all of the snail mail, throwing
away a check or two. Then we stop answering calls left on the answering
machine. And they we start ignoring what our spouses are saying.
Nirvana, finally.
Leon
Leon
"fred" <fre...@juno.com> wrote
> One cannot presume to give guidance on
> the affairs of daily life without an intimate knowledge of the details
> of that life.
That is *exactly* what I told the principal of the cheder I was thrown out
of. How could I identify bacon if I didn't know what it tasted like? How
could I identify pangs of conscience if I didn't go to the movies on
Saturday?
I am glad someone else agrees with me.
Leon
maxine in ri
connected the dots and wrote:
~
~"Charlie Bress" <cbr...@paamail.com> wrote in message
~news:Q6-dnRXG39y...@comcast.com...
~|
~| "Bob Cowell" <trash...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
~| news:cknad15u666r503ai...@4ax.com...
~| > On Tue, 12 Jul 2005 18:27:02 EDT, "Charlie Bress"
~<cbr...@paamail.com>
~| > wrote:
~| >
~| >>
~| >>Guilty as charged, your honor.
~| >>I have been reading this newsgroup for so long that I am
~absolutely
~| >>positive
~| >>that I know what is in the monthly posting and toss it off with
~an "oh
~| >>well,
~| >>there's Phil again".
~| >>
~| >>Mail a wet noodle to my home address and I will administer the
~appropriate
~| >>punishment to myself.
~| >>
~| >>Charlie (with embarrassed look)
~| >
~| > I can send you a DRY noodle, and you can wet it yourself,
~| > We got no extra water to spare, Kind of a drought going on.
~| > Just yesterday I saw four trees chasing the same dog
~| > hoping for a few drops of "water"
~| >
~| > Damn gumment anyway,
~| > if that get a good depression or recession going, they start a
~drought ;-)
~| >
~| I am in Florida and with the rains we have been getting (thanks
~Dennis for
~| 4.9 inches) I can ship you a backyardful.
~|
~Can you e-mail a bit to us as well? Pretty dry here in S.E.
~Washington.
~
~Eliyahu
As long as neither of you plan on watering your lawns with it. Evil
stuff, grass. To create a carpet of green, people pollute the planet.
Now, xeriscapy, _that's_ the way to garden!
Hey Charlie, did you get a rainbow like Noah after Dennis?
Oh, wait. This is a humor group. A priest, a rabbi, and a minister
walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of
joke?"
maxine in ri
Leon
"Mark" <Markieh...@notelespam2.fr> wrote >
> Reminding me of the first idea that I had on reading the chief Rabbi's
> endorsement of Firefox, 'that it blocks the schmutz'. What was he doing
> surfing for schmutz in the first place?
In order to know what schmutz is, one must recognize it.
Try doing a Google search on "schmutz". You would never learn how to
recognize real schmutz from this. You might learn about the Schmutz family,
bur you need the real thing to know it.
Leon
Bob Cowell
According to my map,
http://www.drought.unl.edu/dm/monitor.html
Eliyahu needs it worse than we do,
better send him some extra ;-)
And I always thought Washington state was WET
bob
Damn gumment anyway,
if they can't get a good depression or recession going,
they start a drought ;-)
(there, got it right the second time ;-) )
Eliyahu Rooff
| On Thu, 14 Jul 2005 10:19:46 EDT, "Eliyahu Rooff"
<lro...@hotmail.com> wrote:
|
| >
| >"Charlie Bress" <cbr...@paamail.com> wrote in message
| >news:Q6-dnRXG39y...@comcast.com...
|
| >| >
| >Dennis for
| >| 4.9 inches) I can ship you a backyardful.
| >|
| >Can you e-mail a bit to us as well? Pretty dry here in S.E.
| >Washington.
| >
| >Eliyahu
|
| According to my map,
| http://www.drought.unl.edu/dm/monitor.html
|
| Eliyahu needs it worse than we do,
| better send him some extra ;-)
|
| And I always thought Washington state was WET
|
down the middle and create what we call "the Cascade curtain" which
prevents both weather and tax dollars from reaching us in the east.
Eliyahu
fred
My cheder principal told ne that any Jew who fries bacon in this world
will fry in - but that's for another newsgroup.
Seriously, that is one extreme of the problem, but even people who
would never dream of eating bacon can begin to find certain secular
attitudes more acceptable through constant exposure. But without
risking exposure to these attitudes it is hard to expose secular people
to ours. Even Mordechai was considered to have been affected by the
contact necessary to save the Jewish people.
Leon
"fred" <fre...@juno.com> wrote
>
> Seriously, that is one extreme of the problem, but even people who
> would never dream of eating bacon can begin to find certain secular
> attitudes more acceptable through constant exposure. But without
> risking exposure to these attitudes it is hard to expose secular people
> to ours. Even Mordechai was considered to have been affected by the
> contact necessary to save the Jewish people.
If there is anything more distressing than someone seriously responding to
my brainless, inane posts, I don't know what it is. Here I am trying to be
funny (at last glance, this was a humor newsgroup) and "fred" seriously
agrees with me. No offense, "fred" but as Chaim the Lechtmacher used to say,
"Lighten up."
Leon
fred
Leon,
First of all you snipped the humorous bit.
Secondly, it's been my position since the group's inception that humor,
especially Jewish humor, is a serious business. And I'm sticking to it.
lev...@uwm.edu
> Just yesterday I saw four trees chasing the same dog
> hoping for a few drops of "water"
Be careful with the water that you find that way. For example, even
though the water found on the inside of a fireplug usually has the
formula H2O, that found on the outside of a fireplug often has a
somewhat different formula K9P.
len in milwaukee
Mordechai Housman
"fred" <fre...@juno.com> wrote in message
news:1121098227.5...@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> I don't make a big deal about typos per se, but if a particular typo
> happens to lend itself to word play, then all bets are off.
I'll bet they're not.
Mordechai Housman
> Don't be embarrassed, Charlie. These things happen. First, it starts with
> skipping Phil's posts. Then we stop opening all of the snail mail,
> throwing away a check or two. Then we stop answering calls left on the
> answering machine. And they we start ignoring what our spouses are saying.
>
> Nirvana, finally.
My wife complained the other day that I don't listen to her.
At least I THINK that's what she said.
Mordechai Housman
Subject cartoon? What subject cartoon?
AlanM
http://www.pass.to/glossary/default.htm
Leon wrote:
>Some of the participants in this Newsgroup seem to have a problem reading
>the posts here
fred
N
ICU U10
Mordechai Housman
Um.....
Huh????
CW
/ \
/ \
[3K2A] ;-)
CW
Mordechai Housman
We just had a 15-minute gale storm here in Rockland County, New York (and in
Westchester), this past Wednesday. Some people didn't get their power back
until Friday night. In 15 minutes, almost as much havoc was spread
throughout the two counties as what my nephew can do in half an hour.
Anonymous
"Mordechai Housman" <hou...@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:bFYGe.1882$va1.263@trndny09...
Leon
"Anonymous" <Not_bloo...@aol.com> wrote ...
>I keep seeing it spelled "shul". Shouldn't it be "schul" or "schule"?
I referred this query to the Podembitzer Rebbe, who inherited the Godamberer
Rebbe's shtreimel when the GR of blessed memory went to the Big Shul In The
Sky and the Podembitzer Rebbe retired to Las Vegas and took up residence in
Caesar's Palace. The PR's reply follows:
You aked if "it" is spelled shul, schul or schule. This is a ridiculous
question. "It" is spelled IT. One short syllable, two letters in English.
As for the use of shul, schul or schule, well, that is another question. And
for another question, I will require an additional contribution to the
Rebbe's Discretionary Blackjack Fund.
Rabbi Dr. Prof. Engr. Dovid Yisroel Landsmacher.
Podembitzer Rebbe
Mashgiach to the Biblical Zoo in Salt Lake City, UT
Chaplain, Alabama Highway Patrol
Spiritual Leader, Chavurah B'nei Elvis
Phil Sego
roman letters you wish - we're sure never gonna agree on it. How
standardized Yiddish spelling ever came into being within the Pale is well
beyond my comprehension.
-- Phil
"Leon" <words...@att.net> wrote in message
news:c6XUe.31669$qY1....@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
lefty
One entry found for shul.
Main Entry: shul
Pronunciation: 'shul
Function: noun
Etymology: Yiddish, school, synagogue, from Middle High German schuol school
: SYNAGOGUE
"Anonymous" <Not_bloo...@aol.com> wrote in message news:43221238$0$15834$636a...@news.free.fr...