Description:
Jokes that are funny (in the moderator's opinion). (Moderated)
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Lost penis after an accident
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I got this from my father-in-law, who got it from a friend, who
got it...
A man wakes up after 2 weeks in coma. The specialist is at his
bed: "It's going to be all right. But, the firemen who saved you
from the wreckage sawed off half of your penis during the rescue.
They have decided to give you $25,000 compensation for it. As you... more »
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Homosexual snooker player
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I came up with this one this afternoon...
Q: How can you tell if a snooker player is homosexual?
A: He's got touching balls.
Christ van Willegen
-- Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke to fu...@netfunny.com.
Read Brad's blog at [link]
-e This joke's link: [link]... more »
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Ten Commandments of Electrical Safety
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Ten Commandments of Electrical Safety
(1) Beware of the lightning that lurks in an undischarged
capacitor lest it cause thee to be bounced upon thy backside in a
most ungainly manner.
(2) Cause thou the switch that supplies large quantities of juice
to be opened and thusly tagged, so thy days may be long on this... more »
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It doesn't fix everything
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For a few years I'd been fighting a persistent plantar wart on
the ball of my foot and big toe. I'd tried everything - over the
counter treatments, soaking, pumice stones, and freezing. In
desperation I asked my new doctor about the problem and he
suggested I put duct tape on it.
When I got home, I looked up duct tape for wart treatment and... more »
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Zooey, is that you?
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You may have seen Zooey Deschanel's recent appearance on TBS's Conan
O'Brien show, where she talked about her love of American Girl dolls.
What is not commonly known, is that the Zooey you saw on that talk show
was actually an intelligent, interactive prototype American Girl doll
herself.
Dubbed the "Z2," it was an accidental byproduct of research at American... more »
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Steve Jobs tries to get into Heaven / Original
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Did you hear Steve Jobs tried to enter the pearly Gates?
Bill said no!
Tom Furr
t.f...@comcast.net -- Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke to fu...@netfunny.com.
If you post instead of mailing, it screws up the reply-address sometimes.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.... more »
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Utah Politics
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Question: what do you call a politically liberal member of the Church of Latter Day Saints? Answer: an oxyMormon. Bill Spillman
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Should Weiner resign?
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I asked my wife "Should Weiner resign?" She said, "No, he should sit on his buns until his detractors ketchup with him and he is formally mustard out."
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blind snake
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Two animals met in the forest. One said to the other, "I'm blind what kind of animal are you?" The other replied "I don't know, I'm blind too". The first animal suggested they take turns feeling and describing each other to try to work out what they were. First animal: "Let's see now, you have long ears, a fluffy tail,... more »
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Computer Bible
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COMPUTER BIBLE (C) Yuri Nesterenko ([link]) translation to English by Alexander Panasyuk. 01. In the beginning there was the Word, and Word had two Bytes and there was nothing else. 02. And God divided the ones from the zeros and saw that it was good.... more »
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