Description:
Jokes that are funny (in the moderator's opinion). (Moderated)
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Unintended consequences
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Joe is telling his pal Rick his troubles: "You know that new girl at work, the one I've been wanting to ask out?" he asks. "Yeah, what about her?" Rick replies. "Well, every time I see her, I get an instant erection, and have to turn away to hide it." "That's rough. Why don't you try taping your dick to your leg ... then it won't... more »
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Michael Jackson tribute
 
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[Told to me in person or via email by four different persons in the last 24 hours - ed.] In honor of Michael Jackson's passing, little boys' pants will be flown at half-mast for the next 30 days.
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Yet Another Golf Joke
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Two men were golfing, and the fairway of the hole they were playing was adjacent to a road. The first man was setting up for his swing, when a funeral procession went by on the road. He stopped, faced the procession for a moment, then bowed his head in prayer as the hearse passed by. Only when the procession had passed out of view did he... more »
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Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas
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Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas. 1. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 2. Smother the butter all over the breasts! 3. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 4. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 5. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go. 6. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?... more »
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"Married" couple on the train
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[sent to me by someone not wanting credit, making the rounds - ed.] A man and a woman who had never met before found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. They tried to make other arrangements, but the train was full and they were both very tired. They agreed to make the best of it for at least one night.... more »
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A woman will give you...
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Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So -- if you give... more »
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Yankees Sign Iraqi Hurler
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Yankees Sign Iraqi Hurler Shoe-throwing Tight-hander Impresses Scouts In their latest bid to beef up their pitching rotation for the 2009 season, the New York Yankees today signed Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi to a three-year deal worth $32 million. The right-handed al-Zeidi, 28, impressed the Yankees scouts with his... more »
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FW: The Preachers Paycheck
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[ credited to one John Maertens in the submission - ed. ] A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation... more »
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Eating it rye
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Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your... more »
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