You'd think he'd be able to come up with some better material...
Robert
eau...@rigel.oac.uci.edu
--
bry...@rahul.net a2i network
But i hate the smell of bullshit!
Of course its true, cant you tell with the SMELL-O-VISION?
They will bring out a farm type game, just imagine
all that bullshit!!
<ton o' shit deleted>
Get a life. You are not funny. You are boring. That is all.
Harry
Good LOrd, if I wanted to smell a bathroom I'd go into a cheezy bar at
least that way the women are for real. (Is this guy for real??? What's next
cyber-sex or dildonics?)
KInd of interesting but what the heck is he doing on atari.rec.
just my $.02
Scott
Robert
eau...@rigel.oac.uci.edu
>KInd of interesting but what the heck is he doing on atari.rec.
>just my $.02
>Scott
Yeah, I just love it when people quote >100 line to add 2 more.
--
*******************************************************************************
* Patrick Roelandt -- pat...@hacktic.nl | Founder Dutch Jaguarclub (3D-who?) *
* ||| | and proud of it..... *
* / | \ *
* "I love it when a plan comes together. All I need to do is make one..." *
*******************************************************************************
smell-o-rama heh? cant wait for it :) play mortal kombat IV and SMELL Cage's
sweat..oh joy
-Richard
--
..........Richard Liblanc (lib...@info.polymtl.ca )...............
"There's a sucker born every minute."
"...And they die about that fast too..."
-Grimtooth
Oh great, now the Sega games will REALLY (literally) STINK!
: Next, we have HOLO-GENESIS. HOLO-GENESIS is a 3-D laser
Oh! How about inferior Sega graphics in 3D! (What a waste of a technology!)
: Then, there is SEGA COCKPIT. It is a full-sized replica of
Don't use this with the Sonic cartridge ... it can be a fatal experience ...
: Next is SegaTalk. This is a HIGHLY ADVANCED SPEECH
Unfortunately, when pushed through the cheezy Sega sound system, it will sound
like a VIC-20 ...
: And the best of all is SegaSucks. No, it's not a comment on the Sega Game
: system, but instead is an oral attachment for our new line of Sega Sexual-
: Gratification programs ....
:P
Mortal Kombat X where you feel every hit and blow
as if you were there. Imagine getting a finishing moved
down on you. This game is rated MA13
Also the Sonic 7 Workout game. If you thought Jane Fonda's
workout was to slow, trys this. This help build speed the
Sonic way. Our marketing experts predict that by the end of
this workout you'll do the 100 meter dash in 3 sec's flat.
Coming soon is the Sexcapades. This game is set at the
Ice capades with a attraction then skating. Your body will
be pushed to its limits with every thrust and movement. If
you survive the ice capades, you will go on to the Muppets on
ice and many other exicting levels of erotic fun. This game
has been rated GA and will be avaiable at fine toy stores
everywhere.
These are coming soon from Sega, watch your local toy stores for
these titles. They should be out by March of 2078, but they will
work with the hardware you have today. :-)
Robert
eau...@rigel.oac.uci.edu
--
Oh shit, it's April 1st again, isn't it ?
Perhaps I should look again on my calendar to check out the date...
But now it's too late...apparently I've missed some exam's...
:-)
-------------------------
Martin Pfingstl
pfin...@informatik.tu-muenchen.de
Okay, the previous "amazing peripherals" were almost sorta
based in a projected reality (sure, they're possible, but sure
as all-get-out not late next year, and certainly not for home
video games: I'd say that "in the next ten years" would be pretty
optimistic. This cockpit thing, though... Quite aside from the
amount this would cost, and the space it would occupy, there is
no way that any such device is going to generate 8Gs! Well, okay,
there *is* a way: spinning on one or more of its axes, but a) that
is the wrong motion for the games, and b) yeah, right, so are they
going to issue G-suits too? They would have to be prepared for some
heavy law-suits, people blacking out, damaged, killed from the high
G forces.
>Next is SegaTalk. This is a HIGHLY ADVANCED SPEECH
>RECOGNITION DEVICE, which can recognize voice in real time!
>It can distinguish context, and can distinguish almost any
>accent. Preliminary tests indicate a 0.000001% error rate.
>The secret is based on a secret US Air Force device to let
>pilots control aircraft weapons systems by voice. We have
>adapted this military technology for entertainment use.
>(NOTE: This device is subject to export restrictions by the
>US Defense Department and will not be available in all
>countries, due to the sensitive nature of the technology
>used) Available in fall of 1995. The first game will be
>Ultima 7. But, in this version, you can actually carry on
>full conversations with the characters, using your
>VOICE! And they talk back to you! The game will have
>a dictionary of about 500,000 English words, and can
>recognize very complex grammatical structures.
"Oh wow, cool! They could do it, too: I've seen this stuff
in the movies all the time!" Uh, no. The Air Force device does
only *very* simple recognition, and not so well at that. Having
the machine decipher your sentences...oh wait, my mistake: he says
nothing about the machine *understanding* what you said, just that
it could "*recognize* cery complex grammatical structures". Again,
pure fantasy at this point.
>Well, that's all. I hope I have whetted your appetite for
>SEGA games, and I hope you look foward to the best SEGA has
>to offer you in radically new technologies for your
>gaming enjoyment.
>
>Dr. SAMIR GUPTA, Ph. D
>Head, SEGA New Technology Research Department
>Tokyo, Japan
>sgu...@research.sega.jp
Okay, gang, let's see some hands: how many of you believed
there was even the *tiniest* grain of reality in this posting,
even down to the very existence of a Dr. SAMIR GUPTA, head of
*anything* at Sega Japan? On rec.sport.basketball.pro people
do this all the time, though usually not to the extent of
forging e-mail/post addresses. The activity is called "fishing",
and usually consists of posting some thoroughly outrageous
garbage, then sitting back and watching how many people treat
it as though there were any truth to it whatsoever. Believe
me (or not, doesn't matter ;^> ), I used to do this pretty
often when talking to people (how do you think I got my
nickname, eh?): it is truly amazing how gullible people really are.
I'm surprised (well, maybe not too surprised, I guess) that
this bait got any bites at all. Not a bad try "Dr. SAMIR GUPTA",
whoever you are. Next time go just a little less far afield,
you'll get more fish.
Camden "Snake-Oil" Parks
pa...@phar.umich.edu
Yeah, I just love it when people post a one-liner with a 6-liner .sig.
;)
O.k. I knew I had that one coming... :-)
Now I have to put in at leats some extra
lines
to
even
out
the
balance ;-)
>Next, we have HOLO-GENESIS. HOLO-GENESIS is a 3-D laser
>holographic projection device for your Genesis. It can
>display 3-D rendered images, in full-color, in real-time.
>It uses a special Intel/SEGA HGX-1 3-D graphics coprocessor.
>Coming in mid 1995!
Does it do realistic flesh tones? I see that our current custom-built 523
Mhz M6502 based machine doesn't have good enough graphics capabilities,
and we desperately need to upgrade them.
>Then, there is SEGA COCKPIT. It is a full-sized replica of
Yes - I definitely think we can use this one...
>a standard jet fighter cockpit, complete with working
Hmm...maybe not.
Dr Gupta, you may like to contact Dr Phil Good
(Go...@fungi.canberra.edu.au) for more information on this project.
Yours Sincerely,
Taro Ogawa, Junior Research
assistant, BMI(body-machine
interface) labs, University
of Canberra.
--
___ __ __ ___ ____ ___
Taro Ogawa: u93...@student.canberra.edu.au / \| | |/ \| \ / \
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= | =+= | =+= | =+= | =+= | =+= | =+
"Reality is the sign of a idmn." \___/|__|__|__|__|__|\_\__|__|
I assume you are joking..but at least you could have made it *funny* :)
l8r
GC
--