The Diary of Tharant, Trollish Barbarian
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handwritings.)
Day 1
Tharant big troll. Tharant strong troll. Tharant going to close chaos
gate. Elf wizard say Tharant must keep diary. Tharant not know how to
write, so Tharant get others to write for him. Tharant think diary
stupid.
Supplemental note: The troll barbarian before me is an incredibly
strong and tough creature. However, he has somewhat less magical
potential than the average rock, and a distressing lack of
intelligence. He is armed with a heavy club, thick furs, and a lot of
rocks. He will no doubt not last long. The first paragraph, above, is
his exact words. - Hawkeye
10:41:04
This troll refuses to pay for his merchandise until I write in his
diary. He wants to say "Found big human village. Got large ration in
shop. Got raw meat in shop. Diary still stupid idea." I agree with him
on all counts. - Munxip
12:28:28
Big troll says he'll get my puppy back if I write this in his diary.
(Archealogist's note: The above entry is written in a childlike scrawl
in the original manuscript.)
18:48:14
Big scary troll force me write in his diary. Big scary troll have big
scary club. He say he bashed rat and kobold and goblin. Me goblin. Me
not want to be bashed. Troll say raw meat all go rotten. Raw meat
smell really bad to me. Me not know where stupid dog is. All me lots
of roommate pushing. Me think me going to get ba
(Archeaeologist's note: There is a large stain at this point on the
manuscript.)
Day 2, 3:27:01
Troll want to bash me. Troll say I write in diary first. I gnoll. I
trapped between troll and ant. I write. I write lots so troll not bash
me. Troll keep ant away while I write. I write about magnificent troll
with magnificent white gloves and magnificent amulet. Troll not want
to take white gloves off to show. Troll get ang
(Archaeologists note: A second stain interrupts the manuscript here,
similar to the first but larger.)
11:09:55
Tharant make doppelganger write in book. Tharant not feel good.
Tharant ate wererat corpse. Tharant feel terrible. Tharant bash
doppelganger now.
21:26:01
(Archaeologist's note: This entry is written in the same childlike
scrawl as the previous one)
Big troll is true hero. Big troll found me puppy! Big troll also find
all sort of other things down there. Big troll say he was sick but he
all better now. Big troll say me puppy went swimming and to be careful
of ants.
21:32:58
Da big troll say he'll only go find the carpenter if I writes in his
diary. I is Rynt, village elder. Da big troll say he spent some time
drinking from da pool in da dungeon. Says thinking got harder. From da
look of da troll, I think dat dere not much room for thinking to get
much harder.
But da troll say he as strong as three grown men all on his own. Me
think he look da little bit stronger.
Da troll has several scrolls, even a spellbook. He say he want to
learn to read. I tell him, get carpenter, maybe carpenter help.
22:08:36
My name is Jharod the healer, and I minister to any desperate enough
to seek me out, even those as chaotic and lawless as this troll.
Tharant the troll, who bears ready for throwing a rock so huge that
most would not want to lift it, insists that I write in his diary. He
is as healthy as only a troll can be, and looks quite capable of
carrying a house (and that massive rock of his probably weighs almost
as much as one, anyhow).
23:02:16
Jharod again. The troll wishes me to write that he has lost his club
to an exploding door. Given the massive stone axe he took from his
pack to wield instead, I doubt it'll slow him down.
I'm a healer, not a storyteller!
Day 3, 10:03:59
I owe my sanity to this Tharant.
My name is Yriggs, and I am a carpenter by trade. I entered these
caves to try to destroy the evil that came from them, but it warped
and twisted my mind. Tharant, a Troll barbarian hero of prodigious
toughness, came to my rescue.
In my madness, I saw only a chaotic creature; and Tharant is chaotic
(even now, Jharod refuses to teach him healing for that reason). But,
apparently at Jharod's suggestion, instead of attacking me he merely
walked back to Jharod, allowing the healer to cure me of my
affliction.
He didn't even take up a particularly defensive tactic. I'm not sure
he'd understand what a defensive tactic is. But he as as solid as
granite; the worst I could do in my madness hardly injured him.
I can think of no better hero to close the chaos gate, as long as it
is not guarded by trickery or subterfuge. I shall provide him with all
the aid I can.
If only he wasn't in the habit of immediately drinking any liquid he
laid his hands on... that was an oil of rust removal!
20:06:24
Da troll done saved our carpenter. We is all grateful. I gone talked
to Munxip about lowering his prices to show it. Munxip heard of some
rumour of da dwarven village where da dwarves can maybe teach a troll
to read.
Da troll is going right there as soon as I done writing in his diary.
Day 4, 09:09:36
Me name Barnabas. Me run black market. Troll ask direction to cave. Me
show him all my stuff and point him right way.
Day 8, 23:03:29
Me old barbarian. Me tell troll and his bloodstained diary to buzz
off. Troll agent of chaos. Troll must go!
Me give directions just to be rid of troll.
Day 11 of the Unicorn, 2:19:47
Tharant the Troll, a veritable mountain of trollish muscle, has
promised to buy my entire stock of cooked lizards if I will but note
the fact down in his diary.
His exact words, in fact, were "You write in diary, me take cooked
lizards!" - when I indicated that I would require payment, he
responded, amicably enough. "You want shinies? Can't eat shinies.
Here, you have shinies, I have lizards. But first you write in diary!"
It actually took some doing to explain that I didn't want all his
shinies, or even the majority of them; but eventually the promise that
I'd have more cooked lizards later appeared to appeal to him.
He appears to be suffering from some illness; apparently due to
unwisely munching on a kobold corpse. His constitution, however,
appears strong, and I have no doubt he'll shake it off quickly.
All he wanted to know was where the "dwarf who can teach to read" is.
I pointed him downstairs.
---This manuscript was found among the battle trophies of a famous
barbarian leader. A second manuscript indicates that the barbarian
leader defeated Tharant a few floors below the arena; Tharant, weak
from his sickness and some battles with a river, opened a door to a
horde of angry creatures who had been trapped in there. Mistaking him
for his jailer, all attacked; though too weak to swim back, Tharant
nevertheless defeated several of them and almost killed the barbarian
leader before succumbing to his wounds.---
Sandra
from the first. Munxip's insistence on packing in a chair, a table, and
a full set of cutlery in each and every ration is pure gold.
s.
Al
Goblin was funny and horrifyingly pitiful too.
The Beerslayer
> (Archeaologist's note: This manuscript is written in a variety of
> handwritings.)
>
> Day 1
>
> Tharant big troll. Tharant strong troll. Tharant going to close chaos
> gate. Elf wizard say Tharant must keep diary. Tharant not know how to
> write, so Tharant get others to write for him. Tharant think diary
> stupid.
Nicely done! I can just picture these events during a game...
BTW, this is actually rather reminiscent of a post I made to this same
newsgroup several years ago:
(links to Google Groups)
(And no, I'm not complaining about plagiarism... :)
Please feel free to keep the diary series going! Maybe others will start
contributing too (hint, hint).
-- Jeff
-- aka The Eternal Newbie :)
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> from the first. Munxip's insistence on packing in a chair, a table, and
> a full set of cutlery in each and every ration is pure gold.
How else is it possible to explain the weight of the things? (Tharant,
with his 30 St and 4 Le (3 after the pool) didn't consider this worth
mentioning.)
> Oh man! Poor Tharant :( I was rooting for him.
They can't all close the gate...
On Oct 27, 7:50 am, The Beerslayer <beersla...@mailinator.com> wrote:
> Nicely done! I can just picture these events during a game...
>
> BTW, this is actually rather reminiscent of a post I made to this same
> newsgroup several years ago:
>
> http://tinyurl.com/yjo9y86
>
> (links to Google Groups)
>
> (And no, I'm not complaining about plagiarism... :)
>
> Please feel free to keep the diary series going! Maybe others will start
> contributing too (hint, hint).
>
> -- Jeff
> -- aka The Eternal Newbie :)
I hope others will start contributing, too. And I fully intend to
continue the series (not today, though)...
--------------
Incidentally, there was something very strange that happened to
Tharant that didn't make it into the diary. While on the puppy quest,
he reached the bottom of the puppy cave only to find the stairs
surrounded by water (it was a river level). Fortunately, the puppy was
right near the stairs, and it hurried towards Tharant, swimming
easily. Mistaking it for a jackalwere, I waited until it got close and
tried to hit it...
You displace the cute dog. Do you want to enter the water [Y/N]?
Alright, so not a jackalwere. Since I found the cute dog, no reason to
go swimming. I hit 'n', and the cute dog vanished.
Wondering what happened, I then hit '5' to stay still. It told me the
cute dog was there, and asked if I wanted to attack it... we were
obviously sharing the same square. So Tharant simply went upstairs
again and the dog followed...
I'm not sure, but I think that might be a minor bug.
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