Way OT: Farted in friends 3 year old sons fort and now I'm in trouble with his wife
alive-cds
appetizers at happy hour earlier in the day and hit a few more bars
before dropping him off. I went inside for a bit to say hello to his
wife and see his 3 1/2 year old son. Everything was fine until his son
invited me into his fort which is made out of sofa cushions and
blankets below the staircase. I was laughing and wouldn't you know it,
I farted. The kid wasn't even in the fort. Only my friend heard it and
of course had to say something to embarass me. WOW, his wife went
ballistic saying how rude it was and way uncool. She called her son's
fort a sanctuary and how dare I fart i there. He's only 3 1/2! I must
have apologized at least 6 or 7 times, but she wouldn't let it go. Of
course it made me unwelcome so I got the hell out of there. What is
anyones take on this? Granted I don't have kids, but we are trying,
but honestly, I didn't fart on purpose and its not like I did it in
his facel. It's now Thursday and she is still upset about it. She even
told her parents about it!
p.s. this is a true story
polish...@gmail.com
your friend needs to find a new wife.....
hobs
here head. Who knows, personally I would have told here to come over
here, take a whif, and quess what I had for lunch.
But on a serious note, the hell with miss perfect. Like here shit
dont stink. You apoligized more than once and if anyone should be
pissed it should be you.
Hobbs
Josh A.
> She called her son's fort a sanctuary and how dare I fart i there.
I think we can now declare a winner in the hotly contested "most off
topic thread" competition that has been running on RGP this month.
If it had been me, I would have made an even BIGGER joke of the wife's
using the term "sanctuary" to describe her kid's sofa cushion fort.
"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!" - Quasimodo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)
m6onz5a
Ask her did she's ever laughed so hard she pissed her pants?
She needs to buy some lysol and get over it.
Rick Swanson
> ballistic saying how rude it was and way uncool.
Was it a high pitched dry squeaky fart?... or was it one of those loud
low pitched wet ass flappers?
I can't determine the reasonableness of her response without knowing
some details.
Rick Swanson
PM
"alive-cds" <aliv...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:eb151b76-3378-49ef...@s13g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
Lloyd Olson
husband is out for appetziers, happy hour, and a few more bars.
How would you feel in her shoes, after a long day having her husband and
friend come in half tanked. You couldn't control gas, and he couldn't stop
from saying something stupid. Not the setting for a fun evening at home for
that couple.
Your buddy better get his act together and see his wife gets some fresh air
and starts having some fun outside of the house.
To make ammends, maybe you could get them tickets to something she likes (
movie, theater, sports, something for her ) and a gift certificate to a nice
restaurant. And offer to baby sit for them so they can have some quality
time together.
While my suggestion is way bigger than your offence, it could go a long way
to really being a friend to your buddy. LTG :)
"alive-cds" <aliv...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:eb151b76-3378-49ef...@s13g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
jiar...@aol.com
hook
tell her to pull a condom over her head and snap out of it !
aced...@gmail.com
Ratsputin
> The problem I see is a wife stuck home with at least one child, while her
> husband is out for appetziers, happy hour, and a few more bars.
>
> How would you feel in her shoes, after a long day having her husband and
> friend come in half tanked. You couldn't control gas, and he couldn't stop
> from saying something stupid. Not the setting for a fun evening at home for
> that couple.
>
> Your buddy better get his act together and see his wife gets some fresh air
> and starts having some fun outside of the house.
>
> To make ammends, maybe you could get them tickets to something she likes (
> movie, theater, sports, something for her ) and a gift certificate to a nice
> restaurant. And offer to baby sit for them so they can have some quality
> time together.
>
> While my suggestion is way bigger than your offence, it could go a long way
> to really being a friend to your buddy. LTG :)
>
>
> news:eb151b76-3378-49ef...@s13g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
> > So I'm at my buddies house last Monday. We had gone out for drinks and
> > appetizers at happy hour earlier in the day and hit a few more bars
> > before dropping him off. I went inside for a bit to say hello to his
> > wife and see his 3 1/2 year old son. Everything was fine until his son
> > invited me into his fort which is made out of sofa cushions and
> > blankets below the staircase. I was laughing and wouldn't you know it,
> > I farted. The kid wasn't even in the fort. Only my friend heard it and
> > of course had to say something to embarass me. WOW, his wife went
> > ballistic saying how rude it was and way uncool. She called her son's
> > fort a sanctuary and how dare I fart i there. He's only 3 1/2! I must
> > have apologized at least 6 or 7 times, but she wouldn't let it go. Of
> > course it made me unwelcome so I got the hell out of there. What is
> > anyones take on this? Granted I don't have kids, but we are trying,
> > but honestly, I didn't fart on purpose and its not like I did it in
> > his facel. It's now Thursday and she is still upset about it. She even
> > told her parents about it!
>
>
> - Show quoted text -
OK, in light of the fact that (according to a study I read) everyone
(yes, women too) fart something like 6 times / day, no matter how
uptight she is, that would have to be a reaction due to extenuating
circumstances...
I think Lloyd's right. She was pissed at the hubby and was probably
wanting to vent at him. You were collateral damage...
Brett
Taylor-VA
>
> - Show quoted text -
What is the blood alcohol limit where you live?
hobs
Buy some tickets, Please. I have been with my wife for 16 years ,if
this B&*^H had half as much class as she thinks she has. She would
have waited untill he left, then brought it up to here husband and not
made a sceen in front of the kid.
If she was displeased with here husband for going out and having a
few beers theres more issues there than meets the eye.
Give it right back to her I say. To go so far as telling her mommy
and daddy.Let all her friends know, how she just freaked out over a
little anal blowby.
Hobbs
nuggy
everybody at work is finding this EXTREMELY funny. what a dumbass
Del
> It could be worse, take these gassy techniques for example.
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6vN4H6L458
Well, I know MY Wife wouldn't be welcomed there for sure !, & to Top
it off she thinks it's "Cute" & giggles after she's cleared out at
least 2 Rooms! ! ( I Swear her Farts follow her like a Puppy ) & I
HATE it !
I bet thats not the 1st time someone's farted on her cushions & won't
be the last,
I'm with Lloyd, She was pissed brfore you guys even got there & she
took it out on you, I wouldn't worry about it, Hell you should have
blamed your buddy !
Pin-Del,
cargpb28
nuggy
> time together.
yeah in the fort.
frenchy
Sometimes one will come out whether you want it to or not and you
don't know when it will do it and you don't have time to exit the
premises. What a whiney hag.
Del
> hey, never fart in the fort!
> everybody at work is finding this EXTREMELY funny. what a dumbass
Well, I caint really talk as I'm a huge Fan of "Stink Bombs", These
Lil glass Viles
can clear out a Pool room in nothing flat !.
these come 3 to a box & I'm sure they are worse than his tiny Fart, I
caint count how many times I've used these but the Best had to be when
I worked for the PO,
I got called in to take a slacker route one Sat, & busted one by the
managers desk
as Pay-Back, Manager walked out his Office & said " I Don't know who
did that, But if you're that sick you need to go home" & NOBODY took
the blame for that one < Whiping tears out my eyes>
A buddy was having a cook-out one night & we had a Fire going in a 55
Gal drum, Got bored because the wind was blowing to hard to use the
one I had, So I threw in into the fire,, 2 minutes later KA-BOOM !!!
That thing blew up Big Time !!
I kid you Not ! It put the whole damn fire out,
beechwood
Like this..."Think I'll have some drinks with my buddy and then play
in his sons cushion fort!"
WOW! And I thought I never got out much :)
Joel
Terrapin Mark
> What the hell are you doing in the little kids fort anyway?
Thats an easy one, Farting and hiding from his buddies wife :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHM7LPpFIfo
Mark Salas
pinballer
know what he might do lol
"Lloyd Olson" <l...@ssbilliards.com> wrote in message
news:OtWdnYUwyplB11ra...@skypoint.com...
Marvin G
Marvin G.
EM Pinball, And Nothing But!
http://mysite.verizon.net/~woodrails
On 2/28/08 6:40 PM, in article
eb151b76-3378-49ef...@s13g2000prd.googlegroups.com,
Clams Canino
You're seeing a mother that puts her kids before **everything** - including
her husband - recipe for a divorce. Every time, given enough time.
-W
"Marvin G" <pinn...@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:C3ECCE1F.16FD4%pinn...@verizon.net...
Fred Kemper
Thank you for making my day! :D
--
Fred
TX
CARGPB#8
******************
"alive-cds" <aliv...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message news:eb151b76-3378-49ef...@s13g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
> p.s. this is a true story
erick...@msn.com
She's lucky there wasn't an Ultracade in there; could have been a lot
worse.
: )
Eric
Ken
I agree with Lloyd. You should buy her a present as a way to make
amends.
I think you could make it educational with this children's book:
I think that would help clear up the air. Oh wait....poor choice of
words. Sorry..... And it IS a good book (we have it thanks to my
brother)
:-)
My real opinion is that she is over-reacting. However, without
knowing the full situation of their lives, it may not be fully
unjustified. For example, we were, perhaps a little too indulgent
with our son when he was young. However, since we lost our first one
very close to the delivery date (32 weeks - and it really messed up my
wife and I for more than a few months), I'd give me a bit of a break.
Plus your buddy's wife was probably mad if you guys were being loud,
buzzed, obnoxious and the fart was the last straw. There are just too
many variables. It's better if you can laugh at things, but taking
care of a 3-1/2 year old (especially if it's your first) can be trying
at best. You probably 'poured some gas on the fire'.
Sorry...more poor choices of words....I can help it. They just keep
eeking out...Dah....did it again....
-Ken
www.Team-EM.com
Chris LeMasters
your pants.
THEN this story makes sense...
Chris
Mike
People that uptight just begged to be f-ed with.
-Mike
TL88427
Make it up to her & send her a nice gift from here:
I highly recommend the 1 gallon of elephant @$21.95...........a
bargain for sure !!
Good luck
Tom in Oh
kirb
> p.s. this is a true story
I have a friend who wife CANNOT let anything go. I am still hearing
about the girl I took to a concert that had the same shirt as she did
(my girl was H-O-T). I hear about that EVERY time we get together for
drinks along with about 5 other stories from 5+ years ago that she
didn't like. I always say "That story again? how many times do I have
to hear this? You guys shop at the same shitty clothes store, so how
is this my fault?".
Bottom line- ignore it. You said you were sorry, she didn't accept.
When it comes up again just lay it out- "what more can I say? I said
I'm sorry. You can either move on or keep living in the past- your
choice." That usually gets them pissed or makes them move on.
The ones that move on are the ones you spend time with. The ones that
can't let it go are the ones you RUN the other direction from. You can
spend time with your buddy and not have to deal with his PITA wife.
Give it ONE more chance and cut her loose. Life is too short.
Kirb
kirb
That's funny. We all know hot girls don't fart or poop.
Kirb
gbi...@gmail.com
topic. Make no beans about it.
http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
And could you please be smore specific an choose from The Fart Name
List:
The Alarm Fart - This is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to
identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a
siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you
expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you,
you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be
alarmed. The alarm fart however is rare.
The Amplified Fart - This is any fart that gets its power more from
being amplified than from the fart itself. A metal porch swing will
amplify a fart every time. So will a plywood table,and empty fifty
gallon drum, a tin roof, or some empty cardboard boxes if they are
strong through being amplified in this way can be called an Amplified
Fart. These are common farts under the right conditions
The Anticipated Fart - This one warns that it is back there waiting
for some time before it arrives. A person who is uneasy for a time in
a crowd and who later farts at a time when they think no one will
notice has farted an Anticipated Fart.
The Back Seat Fart - This is a fart that occurs only in automobiles.
It is identified chiefly by odor. The Back Seat Fart can usually be
concealed by traffic noise as it is an eased-out fart and not very
loud. But its foul odor will give it away, due to the way air moves
around in a car. It is often followed by someone saying, "Who farted
in the back seat?"
The Barn Owl Fart - A familiarity with owl calls is helpful in
identifying this fart. Almost any morning if you get up just before
daybreak you can hear one of these birds talking to himself. It's a
sort of a crazy laugh, particularly the way it ends. If you hear a
fart that has about eight notes in it, ending on a couple of down
notes, and it sounds maniacal, you have heard the rare Barn Owl Fart.
The Bathtub Fart - People who would never in their life know one fart
from another, who would like to act like fart don't exist, will have
to admit that a Bathtub Fart is something special. It is the only fart
you can see! What you see is the bubbles. The Bathtub Fart can be
either single or multiple noted and fair or foul as to odor. It makes
no difference. The farter's location is what does it. Maybe there is a
kind of muffled pong and one big bubble. Or there may be a ping ping
ping and a bunch of bubbles. The sound I should point out depends
somewhat on the depth of the water, and even more on the tub. If it is
one of those big old heavy tubs with the funny legs you can get
terrific sound effects. While one of the new thin ones half buried in
the floor can be disappointing.
The Biggest Fart in the World Fart - Like the great bald eagle, this
fart is pretty well described just by its name. This can either be a
group one or a group two fart and can occur just about anywhere. I
heard it one time, a group two identification, in a crowded high
school auditorium one night, right in that silence that happens when a
room full of people has stopped singing the Star Spangled Banner and
sat down. It came from the back. There was not a soul in that room
that missed it. A fart like that can be impressive. The most
diagnostic characteristic of the Biggest Fart In The World is it
size.Fart freaks who go around showing off, farting like popcorn
machines, and making faces before they fart or asking you to pull
their finger and then they fart, never have what it takes for this
one, which is rare even among your most serious farter's.
The Bullet Fart - Its single and most pronounced diagnostic
characteristic is its sound. It sounds like a rifle shot. The farter
can be said to have snapped it off. It can startle spectators and
farter alike. Fairly common following the eating of the more common
fart foods, such as beans.
The Burning Brakes Fart - A silent fart identified by odor alone.
Usually and adult fart, occurring while the adult is driving a car or
has a front seat passenger who farts. The Burning Brakes Fart actually
does smell a little like burning brakes, and seems to hang around
longer than most farts Which gives whoever farted a chance to make a
big show of checking to see if the emergency brake has been left on.
When he finds it hasn't you know who farted. A common automobile fart.
The Car Door Fart - Either a group one or a group two fart. Very
tricky. It is meant to be a concealed fart. A matter of close timing
is involved, the farter trying to fart at the exact moment he slams
the car door shut. It is usually a good loud fart. It is one of the
funnier farts when it doesn't work, which is almost every time. It is
a desperation fart and not too common.
The Celestial Fart - Not to be confused with the Did An Angel Speak
Fart, which is simply any loud fart in church. The Celestial Fart is
soft and delicate, surprising in a boy or an adult. It is probably the
most shy of all farts and might be compared with the wood thrush, a
very shy bird. It does not have the sly or cunning sound of the
Whisper Fart. It is just a very small clear fart with no odor at all.
Very rare.
The Chinese Firecracker Fart - This is an exceptional multiple noted
fart identified by the number, and variety of its noises, mostly pops
and bangs. Often when you think it is all over, it still has a few
pops and bangs to go. In friendly company this one can get applause.
Uncommon.
The Command Fart - This fart differs from the Anticipated Fart in that
it can be held for long periods of time waiting for the right moment.
Unlike the Anticipated Fart, it is intended to be noticed. Harold
Tabor recently held a Command Fart for the whole period in history
class and let it go right at the end when the teacher asked if there
were any questions.
The Common Fart - This fart needs little description. It is to the
world of farts what the house sparrow is to the world of birds. I can
see no point in describing this far any further.
The Crowd Fart - The Crowd Fart is distinguished by its very potent
odor, strong enough to make quite a few people look around. The trick
here is not to identify the fart but the farter. This is almost
impossible unless the farter panics, and starts a fit of coughing or
starts staring at the ceiling or the sky as though something up there
fascinates him. In which case he is the one. Very common.
The Cushioned Fart - A concealed fart, sometimes successful. The
farter is usually on the fat side, sometimes a girl. They will squirm
and push their butt way down into the cushions of a sofa or over-
stuffed chair and ease-out a fart very carefully without moving then
or for some time after. Some odor may escape, but usually not much.
Common with some people.
The Did An Angel Speak Fart - This is any loud fart in church. This
fart was first called to my attention by my father. He probably read
about it somewhere. For fart watchers who go to church, this is a good
one to watch for as this is the only place it can be found.
The Dud Fart - The Dud Fart is not really a fart at all. It's a fart
that fails. For this reason it is strictly a group one identification
fart, because there is no real way you can identify a fart that
somebody else expected to fart but didn't. It is the most private of
all farts. In most cases the farter usually feels a little
disappointed.
The Echo Fart - This is a fart that can be wrongly identified. It is
not some great loud fart in an empty gym or on the rim of the Grand
Canyon. The true Echo Fart is a fart that makes its own echo. It is a
two-toned fart, the first tone loud, then a pause, and then the second
tone. Like an echo.
The G and L Fart - This is one of the most ordinary and pedestrian of
farts, known to everyone. Certainly it is the least gross. If you have
not already guessed, G and L stands for Gambled and Lost. One of the
most embarrassing of all farts, even when you are alone.
The Ghost Fart - A doubtful fart in most cases, as it is supposed to
be identified by odor alone and to occur, for instance, in an empty
house. You enter and smell a fart, yet no one is there. People will
insist that only a fart could have that odor, but some believe it is
just something that happens to smell like a fart.
The Hic-Hachoo-Fart Fart - This is strictly an old lady's fart. What
happens is that the person manages to hiccough, sneeze, and fart all
at the same time. After an old lady farts a Hic-Hachoo-Fart Fart she
will usually pat her chest and say, "My, oh my," or "Well, well."
There is no reason she should not be proud, as this is probably as
neat an old person's fart as there is.
The Jerk Fart - The Jerk Fart is a fart by a jerk who smirks, smiles,
grins, and points to himself in case you missed it. It is usually a
single-noted, off-key, fading away, sort of whistle fart, altogether
pitiful, but the jerk will act as if he has just farted the Biggest
Fart in the World Fart.
The John Fart - The John Fart is simply any ordinary fart farted on
the john. It is naturally a group one identification, with the sound,
whatever it was, somewhat muffled. If it is all the person's trip to
the john amounted to he will be disappointed for sure. Common as
pigeons.
The Lead Fart - The heaviest of all farts. It sounds like a dropped
ripe watermelon. Or a falling body in some cases. It is the only fart
that goes thud. Except for the odor, which is also very heavy, it
could be missed altogether as a fart. What was that, you might think?
And never guess.
The Malted Milk Ball Fart - Odor alone is diagnostic and positively
identifies this fart. It smells exactly like malted milk balls. No
other food works this way. It is rare.
The Oh My God Fart - This is the most awful and dreadful stinking of
all farts - a fart that smells like a month-old rotten egg - as the Oh
My God Fart. If you should ever encounter it, however, you may first
want to say, oh sh*t, which would be understandable.
The Omen Fart - This is the adult version of the Poo-Poo Fart. About
the only difference is that the farter will not say anything. He will
just look kind of funny and head for the john. This one is easy to
spot if you pay attention.
The Organic Fart - Sometimes called the Health Food Nut Fart. The
person who farts an Organic Fart may be talking about the healthy food
he eats even when he farts. If he is heavily into health foods he may
even ask if you noticed how good and pure and healthy his fart smells.
It may smell to you like any other fart, but there is no harm in
agreeing with him. He is doing what he thinks is best.
The Quiver Fart - A group one identification fart only. When you fart,
it quivers. If it tickles, then it is the Tickle Fart. If you have to
scratch it, then it is the Scratchass Fart.
The Rambling Phaduka Fart - You must not be fooled by its pretty-
sounding name, as this is one of the most frightening of all farts. It
is frightening to farter and spectator alike. It has a sound of pain
to it. What is most diagnostic about it, however, is its length. It is
the longest-lasting fart there is. It will sometimes leave the farter
unable to speak. As though he has had the wind knocked out of him. A
strong, loud, wavering fart, it goes on for at least fifteen seconds.
The Relief Fart - Sound or odor don't matter on this one. What matters
is the tremendous sense of relief that you have finally farted. Some
people will even say, "Wow, what a relief." Very common.
The Reluctant Fart - This is probably one of the oldest farts known to
man. The Reluctant Fart is a fart that seems to have a mind of its
own. It gives the impression that it likes staying where it is. It
will come when it is ready, not before. This can take half-a-day in
some instances.
The Rusty Gate Fart - The sound of this fart seems almost impossible
for a fart. Is is the most dry and squeaky sound a fart can make. The
Rusty Gate Fart sounds as if it would have worked a lot easier if it
had been oiled. It sounds like a fart that hurts.
The S.B.D. Fart - S.B.D. stands for Silent But Deadly. This is no
doubt one of the most common farts that exists. No problem of
identification with this one.
The Sandpaper Fart - This one scratches. Otherwise it may not amount
to much. You should remember that if you reach back and scratch, it
automatically becomes a Scratchass Fart. Common.
The Skillsaw Fart - A truly awesome fart. It vibrates the farter.
Really shakes him up. People back away. It sounds like an electric
skillsaw ripping through a piece of half-inch plywood. Very
impressive. Not too common.
The Sonic Boom Fart - The people who believe in this fart claim it is
even bigger than the Biggest Fart In The World Fart. The Sonic Boom
Fart is supposed to shake the house and rattle the windows. This is
ridiculous. No fart in the world shakes houses and rattles windows. A
fart that could do that would put the farter into orbit or blow his
crazy head off.
The Splatter Fart - Unfortunately the Splatter Fart exists. It is the
wettest of all farts. It probably should not be called a fart at all.
The Stutter Fart - If you think stuttering is funny, this is a very
funny fart. It is a fart that can't seem to get going. The sound is
best described as pt,pt,pt-pt,pt-pt-pt,pop,pop-pop-pop-POW! It is
usually a forced-out fart that gets caught crossways, as they say, and
only gets farted after considerable effort.
The Taco Bell Fart - The Taco Bell Fart is far richer and full-bodied
than your ordinary Junk Fart and takes longer to build up. Sometimes
hours or even a day. But it will get there. And it will hang around
after, too. Even on a windy day.
The Teflon Fart - Slips out without a sound and no strain at all. A
very good fart in situations where you would rather not fart at all.
You can be talking to someone and not miss saying a word. If the wind
is right he will never know.
The Thank God I'm Alone Fart - Everyone knows this rotten fart. You
look around after you have farted and say, "Thank God I'm alone." Then
you get out of there fast!
The Tickle Fart - A group one only and one of the easiest to identify.
Usually a slow soft sort of fart. If you like being tickled this is
the fart for you!
-Gregg B.
Bad Bob
To get this back on topic, I was doing a rebuy of a Poopeye pin
from a customer who had it in his basement of course. After removing
the legs, strapping the head to the body and double strapping the pin
to the appliance cart we started up the stairs. I at the top and the
owner helping slide it up the stairs from the bottom, one step at a
time. From the first heave up the first of 12 steps I knew this was
going to be a hard pull as there was very little help from below.
Maybe because I muscled a nice slider fart out on the first heave,
but I did apologize. Halfway up I stop to rest as I'm sweating like a
hot pepper eating contestant. Four steps from the top I'm shot. The
only hope to get this stinking pig the rest of the way up is to make
one more huge effort to conquer another step, then tip the cart down
so it rests flat on the floor and slide the pin and cart into the
upstairs room which is the family TV/den area. Explaining the plan to
the weak ass below on the stairs I gird my loins and make the final
heave, simultaneously and unintentionally letting go with a very
impressive release of rectum roar. I lower the cart to the floor and
slide it into the den, hugely relieved that the pin is upstairs and
vowing to never sell him another pin without getting an electric stair
climbing cart. Looking around the den I notice the lady of the house
sitting about ten feet away watching the tube. I feel like I'm back
in jr high and apologize with a very red face. The lady of the house
happens to be the local bank president and very involved in national
banking circles, testifying before congress, attending the last
Presidential inauguration, etc. Talk about feeling like a lump of
dirt. She's very polite, giving me a slight smile and I get the hell
out of there. The wonderful memories being a pin collector have given
me.
Keep your gassy eye on the ball, Bad Bob
PS Her husband though it was kind of funny.
fd...@optonline.net
> ROTFLMAO!
>
> Thank you for making my day! :D
>
> --
> Fred
> TX
> CARGPB#8
> ******************
>
>
>
> > p.s. this is a true story- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
Too bad the kid wasn't in the fort with you. I'm sure he would have
enjoyed it.
Your buddy has more issues than you lighting one off in his house. Be
a good friend and set the example not to react to irrational behaviar.
Maestro
Yea, I think the wife was just pissed in general at her husband and
you were just cannon fodder. Hell, my kid loves it when somebody
releases any kind of gas or belch. "Daddy stinky"
Jason
J. Weaver Jr.
thought it was the funniest thing in the whole damn world.
She needs a life, and a sense of humor. -JW
--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
rsovatsk
machines at his house? If so, make amends, otherwise continue to meet
your buddy at the bar. Who needs to be around a wife like that and a
3-1/2 year old for that matter. Bob.
Michael Jackson Neverland Ranch
Mark Salas
p.s. it is a joke :)
Chad Tower
I agree with half of what Lloyd said. She was probably pissed that
you guys went out and had a good time while she was stuck at home.
I fully disagree that you should *buy her stuff* because she bitched
about your farting. The fact that her husband went out without her is
*his* problem, not yours. The husband may want to buy her something
but IMO that's just making things worse rather than better. You
farted, you didn't knock something through their picture window, so
there's no reason a fart should cost you $100+. An apology is enough
and more than she deserves.
"Sanctuary"... it's a temp fort made of cushions and a blanket. Next
time you come over be pissed that she is cruel and tore down her
little boy's sanctuary so she could have a comfy couch. Then fart on
the couch.
badta
> On Feb 28, 6:40 pm, alive-cds <alive-...@sbcglobal.net> wrote:
>
> > ballistic saying how rude it was and way uncool.
>
> low pitched wet ass flappers?
>
> I can't determine the reasonableness of her response without knowing
> some details.
>
> Rick Swanson
Holy Shit, I am laughing so hard my eyes are welling up, I'm not
kidding - my co workers are looking at me wondering what the hell I'm
reading...........
Retropins
and not said anything. Personally, I think it is rude to make any
guest uncomfortable. Like kids always smell great, yeah, right. My
husband will come home after being in the field for a couple weeks
with no showers. He'll bring some guys with him usually, the single
ones who are starving for real food and a shower before going back
out.
Let me tell you, I don't think what you did can compare to a bunch of
sweaty, unshowered soldiers who have been running around the woods in
mud and swamps eating MREs which doesn't always settle well in their
stomachs. There is one soldier who is allergic to deoderant so he
doesn't wear any, ever. I never say anything about the stench
eminating from some of them. If they apologize cause they know they
stink, I just say, no, your fine, enjoy the food, play some pinball. I
do go to other rooms on the sly for fresh air every now and again.
Back to your situation. I think your friend's wife owes you an apology
for being rude to you, a guest in her home. Your friend really should
have stepped in and said something to her or asked her to come with
him a moment and privately asked her to not not be rude.
Talk to your friend and ask him why his wife is over reacting. Maybe
she was just pissed that you guys went out but she still shouldn't
have targeted you. She should be mad at her husband. Maybe she'd like
to go with you guys some time instead of being left at home. If she is
just a PITA then meet your friend and don't go to his house. It sounds
like the wife is the one wearing the only pair of pants in the house.
Laura
Lloyd Olson
spending some quality adult time together. Not because the guy farted,
because the guy is their friend, and friends should care about couples that
may be drifting apart. We dont need to see another divorce post here. LTG :)
"Chad Tower" <to...@gis.net> wrote in message
news:8c85a609-b6b1-4b82...@v3g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
chuckster
bag, THEN place it on their front steps and light it on fire, THEN
ring the door bell and hide in the bushes.......enjoy the show. (Maybe
you can get a video of this prank for You Tube)
Too bad they didn't have a dog to blame for the fart.
Del
Use care in riding in a small truck in freezing weather with this guy
while
the heater fan is on High, You Have been warned ! =)
Pin-Del,
cargpb28
Chad Tower
> I wasn't going for *buy her stuff*, I was going for getting that couple into
> spending some quality adult time together. Not because the guy farted,
> because the guy is their friend, and friends should care about couples that
> may be drifting apart. We dont need to see another divorce post here. LTG :)
Meh. If I did that for every friend who married the wrong woman I
wouldn't have the time or money to stay married to my own wife (the
right woman). Where I come from you stay out of someone's household -
their marriage, their house, their business.
I say next time you come over you bring her some $15 flowers and a
jar. Let her open the jar and ask you what was supposed to be in
it... then tell her that since she enjoyed it so much the last time,
you farted in it and saved some especially for her, because unlike a
diamond a fart does not last forever.
HandsOfStone
drunk guy play in his fort.
They actually sell fart spray in a small spray can. One squirt will
clear out a room.
A friend of mine sprayed some under the table while 6 of us were
eating at Cracker Barrel. We had to drop everything, pay and leave. It
was the most vile smell that has ever hit these nostrils. Imagine
eating cabbage and baked beans non-stop for 3 days, that's what it
smelled like...
He had me convinced that another friend of ours was gassing it up. He
had the friend convinced that it was me. At one point, on the ride
home, the car was pulled over with both of us threatening to kick the
other's ass if they didn't stop farting in the car. I finally spotted
him in the rear view mirror pulling the can out of his pocket and
spraying it. He told me later that he thought we were going to kill
each other. Never did get him back for that one...
John
HandsOfStone
brokenvette
>
> read more »
Oh my gosh I cant stop laughing. I think I farted because I laughed so
hard. I think the woman was pissed about something else and took it
out on you. Or is she just a grumpy bitch. I had a buddy who married a
perpetually grumpy bitch and it didnt matter what he or I did she
bitched at him and me. I got a corvette one time and I went to his
house to show it to him. She wasnt home and we went for a ride and
when we got back she was home and raised hell with him about
galavanting around while she was doing something important. Yea right
she was at a volunteer fire department meeting where all they do is
smoke and check out each others wig wag lights on their car. She told
me to get the f%#$k out. Later she left him for the pizza man.
chuckster
is the best stuff for stinking up the place: www.liquidass.com
This stuff will "gag a maggot", it really works. Great for the
workplace, sporting events, discos, Mexican resturants, in laws, kids
forts, etc.
> ...
>
> read more »- Hide quoted text -
kirb
> I fully disagree that you should *buy her stuff* because she bitched about your farting.
DING-DING-FREAKING DING!
Why reward that behavior?
Kirb
hobs
Maybe that what that guy needs. Remember you only go though this world
one time , enjoy every day. I have a buddy thats been miserably
married for 20 years. He has final come to realize he just wasted the
better half of his life. Not only that but just think of the finiacial
situation hes in now. Half of 500 k in equity now is alot worst the
50 k 15 years ago. I would never be and could never be in a situation
like that. Been with my wife for a long time, we respect each others
personal time, laugh , joke, fart , and even puts up with me going
out with my friend and getting half loaded. Like I said have fun while
your here. AHHH Fri, ,guys night out.
Time for a beer, Hobbs
Chad Tower
Maybe she needs a Fart In A Box.
beechwood
Guys night out...what's that?
Four kids, 70 hrs a week at business, blah blah blah....enjoy the
little things while you can!!!
Joel
Chad Tower
> Four kids, 70 hrs a week at business, blah blah blah....enjoy the
> little things while you can!!!
Boy ain't that the truth.
Wait, are you saying we should start enjoying his farts?
beechwood
> Wait, are you saying we should start enjoying his farts?
No, I said the little things :)
Joel
hobs
love my wife got two great kids, 16 and 17. Not everthings always
peacykeen . But having a understanding, good looking girl just keeps
everything on the norm.
Hobbs
newmantjn
> The problem I see is a wife stuck home with at least one child, while her
> husband is out for appetziers, happy hour, and a few more bars.
>
> How would you feel in her shoes, after a long day having her husband and
> friend come in half tanked. You couldn't control gas, and he couldn't stop
> from saying something stupid. Not the setting for a fun evening at home for
> that couple.
>
> Your buddy better get his act together and see his wife gets some fresh air
> and starts having some fun outside of the house.
>
> To make ammends, maybe you could get them tickets to something she likes (
> movie, theater, sports, something for her ) and a gift certificate to a nice
> restaurant. And offer to baby sit for them so they can have some quality
> time together.
>
> While my suggestion is way bigger than your offence, it could go a long way
> to really being a friend to your buddy. LTG :)
>
> "alive-cds" <alive-...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
>
> news:eb151b76-3378-49ef...@s13g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
> > So I'm at my buddies house last Monday. We had gone out for drinks and
> > appetizers at happy hour earlier in the day and hit a few more bars
> > before dropping him off. I went inside for a bit to say hello to his
> > wife and see his 3 1/2 year old son. Everything was fine until his son
> > invited me into his fort which is made out of sofa cushions and
> > blankets below the staircase. I was laughing and wouldn't you know it,
> > I farted. The kid wasn't even in the fort. Only my friend heard it and
> > of course had to say something to embarass me. WOW, his wife went
> > ballistic saying how rude it was and way uncool. She called her son's
> > fort a sanctuary and how dare I fart i there. He's only 3 1/2! I must
> > have apologized at least 6 or 7 times, but she wouldn't let it go. Of
> > course it made me unwelcome so I got the hell out of there. What is
> > anyones take on this? Granted I don't have kids, but we are trying,
> > but honestly, I didn't fart on purpose and its not like I did it in
> > his facel. It's now Thursday and she is still upset about it. She even
> > told her parents about it!
>
> > p.s. this is a true story- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
Hmmm, sounds like that Wilson guy on Home Improvement. We never saw
his whole face, you know. Are you sure you were always a pinball guy?
Kyle Wren
alive-cds says...
The best thing you can do in a sitution like this is to draw attention away from
the entire farting incident. I would suggest immediately afterward before the
flatuence incident was being discussed you could have tinkled on the outside of
the fort structure. Make sure you do it in full view of everyone around. I
promise the fart will be a distant memory at that point.
Good luck!
>So I'm at my buddies house last Monday. We had gone out for drinks and
>appetizers at happy hour earlier in the day and hit a few more bars
>before dropping him off. I went inside for a bit to say hello to his
>wife and see his 3 1/2 year old son. Everything was fine until his son
>invited me into his fort which is made out of sofa cushions and
>blankets below the staircase. I was laughing and wouldn't you know it,
>I farted. The kid wasn't even in the fort. Only my friend heard it and
>of course had to say something to embarass me. WOW, his wife went
>ballistic saying how rude it was and way uncool. She called her son's
>fort a sanctuary and how dare I fart i there. He's only 3 1/2! I must
>have apologized at least 6 or 7 times, but she wouldn't let it go. Of
>course it made me unwelcome so I got the hell out of there. What is
>anyones take on this? Granted I don't have kids, but we are trying,
>but honestly, I didn't fart on purpose and its not like I did it in
>his facel. It's now Thursday and she is still upset about it. She even
>told her parents about it!
>
>p.s. this is a true story
--
Kyle Wren
CARGPB #27
"Worst... Ball... EVER!!"
Rick Swanson
The best way to resolve this matter is to simply give the kid this
special flag to fly over his fort.
http://webpages.charter.net/rswanson3354/FortFlag1.jpg
Rick Swanson
"Dispute Resolver"
Kyle Wren
Rick Swanson says...
I didn't think you could get funnier Rick. And then someone went and showed you
how to use Photoshop... :-)
HandsOfStone
I think I let one slip from laughing so hard!!!
Too funny!!!
John
Steve C
have a weak argument. Or better yet, maybe you could get a "whoopee cushion" and
slip it in her chair. When she sat down emitting the farting sound you could say
"my god" and leave the house as though you are appalled. There are many ways you
can work this you know.
stevebo
On Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:40:37 -0800 (PST), alive-cds <aliv...@sbcglobal.net>
wrote:
Steve C
will believe a 3 year old over an adult in a fort cutting a fart. no one.
stevebo
On Fri, 29 Feb 2008 04:32:08 -0800 (PST), fd...@optonline.net wrote:
>On Feb 28, 9:17 pm, "Fred Kemper" <pbgar...@davlin.net> wrote:
>> ROTFLMAO!
>>
>> Thank you for making my day! :D
>>
>> --
>> Fred
>> TX
>> CARGPB#8
>> ******************
>>
>>
>>
>> "alive-cds" <alive-...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in messagenews:eb151b76-3378-49ef...@s13g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
>> > p.s. this is a true story- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> - Show quoted text -
>
>Too bad the kid wasn't in the fort with you. I'm sure he would have
>enjoyed it.
>
>Your buddy has more issues than you lighting one off in his house. Be
>a good friend and set the example not to react to irrational behaviar.
Abby Normal
> A divorice,
> Maybe that what that guy needs. Remember you only go though this world
> one time , enjoy every day. I have a buddy thats been miserably
One of the many reason not to get married!
She sounds like a cunt to me, but we don't know the whole story.
If I were stuck home all the time with the kids while my mate was out
having fun I'd be pissed too, but if it's not a common thing let it
go!
HandsOfStone
John
(silent but deadly)
Chad Tower
Does she realize you own that part of her house now?
erick...@msn.com
> Maybe you can con your friend in to also farting in the "sanctuary." Then she'd
> have a weak argument. Or better yet, maybe you could get a "whoopee cushion" and
> slip it in her chair. When she sat down emitting the farting sound you could say
> "my god" and leave the house as though you are appalled. There are many ways you
> can work this you know.
>
> stevebo
>
> wrote:
>
>
>
> >So I'm at my buddies house last Monday. We had gone out for drinks and
> >appetizers at happy hour earlier in the day and hit a few more bars
> >before dropping him off. I went inside for a bit to say hello to his
> >wife and see his 3 1/2 year old son. Everything was fine until his son
> >invited me into his fort which is made out of sofa cushions and
> >blankets below the staircase. I was laughing and wouldn't you know it,
> >I farted. The kid wasn't even in the fort. Only my friend heard it and
> >of course had to say something to embarass me. WOW, his wife went
> >ballistic saying how rude it was and way uncool. She called her son's
> >fort a sanctuary and how dare I fart i there. He's only 3 1/2! I must
> >have apologized at least 6 or 7 times, but she wouldn't let it go. Of
> >course it made me unwelcome so I got the hell out of there. What is
> >anyones take on this? Granted I don't have kids, but we are trying,
> >but honestly, I didn't fart on purpose and its not like I did it in
> >his facel. It's now Thursday and she is still upset about it. She even
> >told her parents about it!
>
>
> - Show quoted text -
You could show her this video of a "Shatshart" even Spock is
nonplussed :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LAA9SK2sM4&feature=related
Eric
Ken
>
> - Show quoted text -
LOL!
That's pretty funny!
I like this one as well:
http://www.break.com/index/who-cut-the-cheese.html
-Ken
www.Team-EM.com
Bill
> On Feb 28, 7:22 pm, acedo...@gmail.com wrote:
>
> > It could be worse, take these gassy techniques for example.
>
> >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6vN4H6L458
>
> Well, I know MY Wife wouldn't be welcomed there for sure !, & to Top
> it off she thinks it's "Cute" & giggles after she's cleared out at
> least 2 Rooms! ! ( I Swear her Farts follow her like a Puppy ) & I
> HATE it !
> I bet thats not the 1st time someone's farted on her cushions & won't
> be the last,
> I'm with Lloyd, She was pissed brfore you guys even got there & she
> took it out on you, I wouldn't worry about it, Hell you should have
> blamed your buddy !
>
> Pin-Del,
> cargpb28
Huh, only your wife. Your lucky. My Mother In-law has jet propulsion.
Right down to my Grand Daughter. . . AKA Stinkerbell. People probably
wonder why I have 2
fans in the game room.
Bill
