Comp 06 - Marc's Terse Little Reviews
M. Valhara
PART ONE-- Games I Didn't Enjoy So Much
Another Goddamn Escape The Locked Room Game
The point at which I quit playing this game:
"North Wall
This is the north side of the room. A heavy steel door (presumably the
exit) is set into the north wall, and numerous heavy wooden boards
have been nailed across it. Seems like someone didn't want you leaving
this place.
There's a television here.
Your head pounds as though you're wearing a jackhammer for a hat.
>EXAMINE MY HEAD
I only understood you as far as wanting to examine your stump.
>EXAMINE MY STUMP
You can't see any such thing.
Your head pounds as though you're wearing a jackhammer for a hat.
>IF I CAN'T SEE MY STUMP, THEN WHERE THE HELL IS IT?
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.
>WHAT, IS IT AN INVISIBLE STUMP?
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.
>I MEAN, IT MUST BE PAINFUL, HAVING A STUMP; AND YOU THINK I'D BE ABLE TO SEE IT
I only understood you as far as wanting to take inventory."
* * *
The Sisters
Why I quit playing this game:
"Sitting in the driving seat of your car...
The seatbelt probably saved your life, but now it is stretched
painfully across your chest..."
>Take off seatbelt
You are not wearing the seatbelt!
>Really? Because I thought you just said that it was on my chest
That doesn't make sense...
>get out of the car
Take what?
>exit the car
I don't understand...
>leave the car
I don't understand..."
* * *
Fight or Flight
Random thoughts:
-I'm annoyed by all these NPCs who refuse to talk to me, answer my
questions, or follow my orders. If I'm head counselor, then why
aren't they obeying me? OBEY ME, MINIONS, I AM YOUR COUNSELOR GOD!!!
-The TV isn't a switchable object; what's up with that?
-Okay, I just found a corpse; so why can't I go to the office now? It
seems the logical place to go, to find a phone and call the police.
-"Tell Russell about corpse" provokes no reaction? You've got to be
kidding.
-The writing/programming are, technically, just fine. Good premise.
Good setting. I mean, *Sleepaway Camp* is one of my favorite horror
movies; so I wanted to enjoy playing this game. I like cheesy slasher
flicks. But interaction with the NPCs was too unrealistic, and it got
on my nerves quickly.
* * *
A Broken Man
Random Thoughts:
-What am I, the world's most incompetent assassin? I arrived with no
burglar's tools and no entry plan of any kind. I must've spent all my
money on my nice black suit.
-Hmm, I also didn't bring a gun.
-I mean, really. I was savvy enough to find out the terrorist's
location and secret identity (something that stumped police
detectives) but I'm not smart enough to bring a gun, or scope out the
house before I break in.
-"Holy golden crapper"?
-"He's a much bigger man than you and has no problem holding you down
while the authorities are summoned." What kind of terrorist wants to
get the police involved with anything? Did I even break into the
right house?
The point at which I quit:
">enter shower
The shower stall isn't important.
>n
Shower Stall
You are inside the shower stall. A plastic curtain can be opened and
closed.
>close shower curtain
You see no shower curtain here."
* * *
Game Producer
Random thoughts:
-Why bother starting me out in my bedroom, if there's nothing to do
there, and nothing to interact with? Why not skip the bedroom scene
and start at work instead?
-TV isn't switchable
-It's "bated" breath, not "baited"
-Oh, god, the first puzzles are making coffee and fixing a server? I
don't think this is going to be my idea of thrilling gameplay.
The point at which I quit playing this game:
">x server
Despite being an absolutely vital part of any video game company, the
AXL Games QA server is a relatively small piece of computer hardware.
It's no bigger than a shoebox, which may account for its
unreliability.
Regardless of its size, it's currently inoperative. As you approach,
you're hit with a wave of heat. You're no IT guy (and where the heck
is IT, anyway? Shouldn't they be doing this instead of you?), but if
you had to guess, you'd say that's probably why it's not working.
>unplug server
That's not a verb I recognise.
>turn off server
That's not something you can switch.
>open the server and take out its damn batteries
You can't use multiple objects with that verb."
* * *
Hedge
-Holy golden crapper! This one reminds me of "A Broken Man," in the
sense that I'm playing a protag who wants to gain access to a
building, yet the protag arrives there without any plan for getting
inside. What is this game's protagonist, an idiot? I also have no
money, no weapons, no equipment at all. In fact, I don't even have
any idea *why* I want in this place so badly. If I knew more about
the character I'm playing, I might actually care about being him, and
trying to get him into the Hedge. But I don't know anything about
him, and I'm bored with trying to get past the bouncer, so I quit.
* * *
Apocalypse
The point at which I quit playing this game:
"Your Bedroom (on your bed)
You survey your small bedroom. To be frank, it's messy. Your clothes
hang in strange places. The carpet is stained with unidentifiable
substances. The wallpaper is faded and tacky, the bed is falling
apart, and the drywall is crumbly and, inexplicably, rusty, but it's
home.
>GET OUT OF BED
I only understood you as far as wanting to get the outside.
>GET OUT OF THE BED
I only understood you as far as wanting to get the outside.
>GET OUT
You get off your bed.
Your Bedroom
>GET MY CLOTHES
You can't see any such thing.
>REALLY, BECAUSE THEY ARE IN THE ROOM DESCRIPTION, AND FURTHERMORE I PROBABLY NEED THEM OR I WILL BE WANDERING AROUND NAKED"
* * *
PART TWO--Games I Enjoyed
Requiem
Random thoughts:
-If I quit smoking, why are there smokes in my desk?
-The author has put in lots of extraneous quotation marks
-I love the premise of the game; it's cheesy, intriguing, fun
supernatural suspense, like Dean Koontz
* * *
Bible Retold
-This one's hilarious. I especially like what happens when I make
Jesus attack people.
-What would I buy the authors of this game for X-Mas? *Lamb*, by
Christopher Moore, if they haven't already read it.
* * *
Floatpoint
-My third-favorite game of the Comp. I played it while listening to
Sigur Ros's untitled album, and the music fit the game very well.
* * *
Madam Spider
-My second-favorite game of the Comp. It reminded me of Neil Gaiman's
*Coraline*.
* * *
Moon-shaped
-This game was my favorite of the comp. Other than a few problems I
had with the puzzles, I loved every aspect of Moon-Shaped. Best music
to listen to while playing it? Rasputina's *How We Quit The Forest.*
* * *
Delightful Wallpaper
-Wow.
Marc Valhara
dwh...@gmail.com
M. Valhara wrote:
> PART TWO--Games I Enjoyed
>
> Requiem
>
>
> Random thoughts:
>
> -If I quit smoking, why are there smokes in my desk?
>
Glad you liked the game. As for the smokes:
>x the smokes
An old pack I've had in my desk for a while. I quit smoking a year ago
and keep this pack here to test myself.
quic...@quickfur.ath.cx
> COMP06 - A Few Terse Little Reviews
> Fight or Flight
>
>
>
> Random thoughts:
> -"Tell Russell about corpse" provokes no reaction? You've got to be
> kidding.
Yeah, that was where my evaluation of the game dropped dramatically.
> * * *
>
> A Broken Man
>
>
>
> Random Thoughts:
>
> -What am I, the world's most incompetent assassin? I arrived with no
> burglar's tools and no entry plan of any kind. I must've spent all my
> money on my nice black suit.
>
> -Hmm, I also didn't bring a gun.
>
> -I mean, really. I was savvy enough to find out the terrorist's
> location and secret identity (something that stumped police
> detectives) but I'm not smart enough to bring a gun, or scope out the
> house before I break in.
There's actually a "valid" reason for these strange incompetencies.
Unfortunately the reason is rather cheesy. Probably not worth your while
to find out.
> -"Holy golden crapper"?
Yeah, I groaned out loud at this one.
[...]
> * * *
>
>
>
> PART TWO--Games I Enjoyed
>
> Requiem
Interesting. I didn't enjoy Requiem all that much more than the
Apocalypse Clock. (Granted, most of the fun I got out of the latter was
its silliness and self-mockery, which may not be your cup of tea.)
[...]
> * * *
>
> Madam Spider
>
>
>
> -My second-favorite game of the Comp. It reminded me of Neil Gaiman's
> *Coraline*.
[...]
Yay! Somebody else who likes MSW! :-)
QF
--
The peace of mind---from knowing that viruses which exploit Microsoft
system vulnerabilities cannot touch Linux---is priceless. -- Frustrated
system administrator.
bogus6...@mailinator.com
> * * *
>
> Apocalypse
>
>
>
> The point at which I quit playing this game:
>
> "Your Bedroom (on your bed)
> You survey your small bedroom. To be frank, it's messy. Your clothes
> hang in strange places. The carpet is stained with unidentifiable
> substances. The wallpaper is faded and tacky, the bed is falling
> apart, and the drywall is crumbly and, inexplicably, rusty, but it's
> home.
>
> >GET OUT OF BED
> I only understood you as far as wanting to get the outside.
>
> >GET OUT OF THE BED
> I only understood you as far as wanting to get the outside.
>
> >GET OUT
> You get off your bed.
>
> Your Bedroom
>
> >GET MY CLOTHES
> You can't see any such thing.
Why the "my"? Why not just "GET CLOTHES"? My guess is, it was the "my"
that did it (I'm too darn lazy to check).
Rifflesby
M. Valhara wrote:
> >IF I CAN'T SEE MY STUMP, THEN WHERE THE HELL IS IT?
Heh, yeah. That one was particularly bad coding on my part. The stump
exists so that you can attempt to tape the severed hand to it, for a
point. ("Attempting home surgery".) Having implemented it as a body
part, though, it kept popping up if you tried to refer to other,
non-existant body parts for some reason, and by the time entries were
due, I still hadn't figured out how to fix it. In retrospect, the
confusion wasn't worth the gag. Live and learn, I guess.