[New Game] Cryptozookeeper
Robb Sherwin
Hey there r*if, it's been a long time, but I haven't had a craving for
cretinous blovations deconstructing the same tired and largely
incorrect points about Galatea in just as shitty a manner as they were
made ten years ago, nor have I needed to hear how the wonderful and
approachable Inform7 is responsible for all the pain and suffering in
the western world. But I hope we can put how awful you are as a Usenet
group behind you since you drove virtually all my friends off, and
focus on what really matters: what I've been up to.
I made a game called Cryptozookeeper, and you can download it through
the Internet Archive here: http://www.archive.org/details/Cryptozookeeper
-- cryptozookeeper.zip will get you everything you need if you're on
Windows. At http://www.cryptozookeeper.com there's instructions for
the Mac terp (I've heard Splatterlight works, but I don't own a Mac)
and the Linux terp (thanks to Gerynar for putting that together).
At this point, if the previous times I've announced games here is any
indication, the next three or four posts will be people losing their
goddamn Christing minds because the archive size is almost 600 MB. If
this absolutely makes you go mental and you have some way to compress
MP3s better than PKZIP I'm all ears, otherwise if this really bothers
you, I would invite you to party Phil Katz-style. (Though if you don't
want to listen to the music, and that's perfectly legitimate, because
I'm sure I'd hate r*if's taste in music in the same way you'll
probably hate mine, you can grab the story file and graphics files
individually at archive.org.)
I've tried to put together a game that is funny, hopping and character-
driven, but also with bits of RPGs in there as you create and train
cryptids like Big Foot, the Loch Ness Monster, shadow people and the
fur-bearing trout. Let's just have makeup sex here, r*if, and get
through this, and then we can go back to pretending the other doesn't
exist.
Yours in Christ,
Robb
Poster
<41cf2e7b-d865-4287...@h12g2000pro.googlegroups.com>,
Robb Sherwin <robb.s...@gmail.com> wrote:
I think the first post should point out your profane, blasphemous post.
Sure, I knew you created games where characters went on about how much
they loved handjobs, but this opened my eyes.
Me, I'm sorry I volunteered to test your game. I won't repeat that
mistake in the future.
I think the best way to sum up your announcement is: "Hi, I'm Robb
Sherwin, a profane, obnoxious, anti-Christian troll. Play my game."
I will not.
--
Poster
www.intaligo.com I6 libraries, doom metal, Building, Zegro, BTK&D, New Cat
sturmdrangif.wordpress.com Game development blog / IF commentary
Robb Sherwin
> Sure, I knew you created games where characters went on about how much
> they loved handjobs, but this opened my eyes.
>
> Me, I'm sorry I volunteered to test your game. I won't repeat that
> mistake in the future.
>
> I think the best way to sum up your announcement is: "Hi, I'm Robb
> Sherwin, a profane, obnoxious, anti-Christian troll. Play my game."
>
> I will not.
Hey, it's one of the guys who destroyed the newsgroup, with his
Olympic-level crying, moaning and whining. Your ability to go from
zero to victim is absolutely hilarious, and I couldn't be more
delighted to see you sneeringly hoist yourself up on your cross again.
This was honestly a fun place to read a few years ago before you and
your handpicked pack of worthless nobodies decided to turn it into a
quagmire of unreadable shitposting.
I'm trying to think if there was a moment that better sums up your
eyeroll-worthy paranoia better than admitting to everyone you didn't
finish your comp game and then *immediately* going berserk when you
finished last in a comp. Those old ones!
** Shakes fists **
** Doesn't finish game **
Maybe it was when red-rage spittle flew from your cheeks at the
proposal of an IF Cover Drive because you (laughably) assumed that
dozens of people would be lined up to illustrate your games that
nobody thought twice about to begin with. You were right, Poster,
there was a good thirty or forty people who had to disappointingly
shut down Photoshop when they read the sad news that one day, you
literal fucking lunatic. It caused a worldwide power spike when we all
turned our PCs off at the horrible news. I deleted MS Paint off my
drive because I was so distraught; I have to edit my photographs now
by using a hex editor and gin.
Or perhaps it was when Ron Newcomb calmly pointed out (in extremely
polite terms) that you're an insane mental patient whose I7 "bugs"
should maybe be dismissed as the bellicose rantings of a crazed
schizophrenic instead of being sent via greased Learjet to Graham, and
you proceeded to absolutely flip yourself every time Ron posted on
r*if for the next year.
Or maybe it was when you were calmly, politely asked why you still
bother with I7 when it does nothing but cause you to have kittens, and
you proceeded to act in your trademarked brand of condescending, smug,
smarmy tone, just wigging out as if nukes were in the air, completely
oblivious that everyone else in the hobby (until now) is bending over
backwards to be polite to you, to not speak to you in the same tone
you take with others, and not call you on your mountain of shit.
Look at this newsgroup. There's four posts a week and most of them are
either about how Obama sucks at Angry Birds or how Al can't compile
Tennis for Two on I7 6G60. You did this. You created this. The
destruction of what was a fun, interesting place to read about my
favorite hobby is on your hands, alongside a few other cretins, and
it's the only real contribution you've ever made to IF. And until now,
nobody has bothered to tell you to go fuck yourself, but I guess we
all figured you'd have been sucked up by the Rapture if we just waited
it out.
Oh, by the way, it's fairly late, so One of the Bruces is probably
retired for the evening and therefore not typing the word "boob" into
a computer, so you can sleep with the lights out now. Take care.
David Kinder
> Hey, it's one of the guys who destroyed the newsgroup, with his
> Olympic-level crying, moaning and whining.
The only thing worth being subscribed to r*if for these days is posts like
this. Yay for Robb :-)
David
Andrew Plotkin
to refer to valid bugs.
--Z
--
"And Aholibamah bare Jeush, and Jaalam, and Korah: these were the borogoves..."
*
Ranma Mao
Hmm.
Adam Thornton
Robb Sherwin <robb.s...@gmail.com> wrote:
>Oh, by the way, it's fairly late, so One of the Bruces is probably
>retired for the evening and therefore not typing the word "boob" into
>a computer, so you can sleep with the lights out now. Take care.
I'm still searching for the Homosexual Monolith. Has anyone seen it? I
assume it's something like a Herm, but I'm not really sure. Can anyone
enlighten me?
Also, boobs.
Adam
Victor Gijsbers
> I'm still searching for the Homosexual Monolith. Has anyone seen it? I
> assume it's something like a Herm, but I'm not really sure. Can anyone
> enlighten me?
I thought I'd do a Google Image search for you, but the first hit is
Stephen Granade's head...
Am I deceiving myself, or is political correctness now predominantly
something enforced by the right?
Kind regards,
Victor
Andrew Plotkin
>
> Am I deceiving myself, or is political correctness now predominantly
> something enforced by the right?
Eh. It's never a good idea to start accusing people of "political
correctness". The term has been hauled out so often in the past
?thirty years that it now just means "I disapprove of you but I won't
say why."
Victor Gijsbers
> Eh. It's never a good idea to start accusing people of "political
> correctness". The term has been hauled out so often in the past
> ?thirty years that it now just means "I disapprove of you but I won't
> say why."
Hm, I'd define it as "ruling an idea out of serious democratic
discussion because of its assumed obvious immorality". As far as I'm
concerned, that is a neutral definition: if someone wants to start a
discussion about whether it is good to kill the elderly, political
correctness is the right response.
(Mind you, my definition might either be too idiosyncratic, or it might
just reflect the meaning of the term in the Netherlands. I'm certainly
not in a position to judge whether I'm anywhere close to the meaning it
carries in the USA.)
Ten years ago, political correctness was mainly used against the extreme
nationalistic right (with their diatribes against "foreigners") and the
extreme conservative right (with their anti-gay marriage,
anti-euthanasia and anti-abortion ideas). To a lesser extent, it was
used against the mainstream neo-liberal right. But it was rarely that
the right would make rhetoric use of a supposed moral superiority.
Nowadays, it seems to be the far right that uses political correctness
against a broad spectrum of parties on the left, culminating in the
blanket claim that everyone on the left is part of the "linkse kerk"
("left church"), a repressive, dogmatic conspiracy set up to serve the
elite. This message gets a lot of air time. But when the left attempts
to play its moral cards, there is little response in the media.
The right used to be all about "good government", "fiscal
responsibility" and growing the economy, while the left was about
"solidarity", "equality", and other moral ideas. Nowadays, it seems as
if the right is championing (a different set of) moral values, and the
left is using more and more arguments of an economic and governmental
nature.
Writing this down, I realise that the situation in the USA _must_ be
different, if only because the right in the USA is primarily a
_religious_ right, and could not possibly use the word "church" with
negative connotations. :) So let me rephrase the original question. Is
it the case that over the last two decades a perceived moral superiority
has become less important for the left, and more important for the right?
Regards,
Victor
Nikos Chantziaras
> On 06/06/2011 05:24 PM, Andrew Plotkin wrote:
>
>> Eh. It's never a good idea to start accusing people of "political
>> correctness". The term has been hauled out so often in the past
>> ?thirty years that it now just means "I disapprove of you but I won't
>> say why."
>
> Hm, I'd define it as "ruling an idea out of serious democratic
> discussion because of its assumed obvious immorality". As far as I'm
> concerned, that is a neutral definition: if someone wants to start a
> discussion about whether it is good to kill the elderly, political
> correctness is the right response.
That would equate political correctness with common sense though. This
has some nice consequences for looking at boobs and murdering old people.
Victor Gijsbers
Note that I wrote "_assumed_ obvious immorality". Democracy is about
finding compromises between "reasonable" positions. (Or it is about the
agonistic interplay of reasonable positions. The point I will make is
the same.) But what constitutes a reasonable position? The temptation to
exclude positions we strongly disagree with as "unreasonable" and even
"immoral" can be too great to resist, and thus it is very easy to fall
prey to wrong (anti-democratic) forms of political correctness.
A left-wing animal rights activist who believes that the opinions of
scientists engaged in animal testing "do not count", and a right-wing
anti-abortion activist who believes that the opinions of pro-choicers
"do not count", have both moved beyond common sense. They have moved
into the bad kind of political correctness. (Let me stress that one
could of course be an animal rights activist or an anti-abortion
activist without falling prey to this anti-democratic temptation.)
Kind regards,
Victor
John W Kennedy
On 2011-06-06 13:30:02 -0400, Victor Gijsbers said:
if only because the right in the USA is primarily a _religious_ right,
For certain values of "religious".
and could not possibly use the word "church" with negative connotations.
They can if it's qualified (say, by the word "liberal", or, behind closed doors, the word "Catholic"), or if they're involved in certain para-Christian sects (the Jehovah's Witnesses, say, or Harold Camping's followers) that reject the word "church" to describe themselves. Or, of course, if they do not self-identify as Christian at all, but that, too, is behind closed doors.
:) So let me rephrase the original question. Is it the case that over the last two decades a perceived moral superiority has become less important for the left, and more important for the right?
I think an /assumed/ moral superiority is having a cancerous effect on both, especially when it is combined with partisanship for partisanship's sake.
--
John W Kennedy
If Bill Gates believes in "intelligent design", why can't he apply it to Windows?
Primo Canto
from Chicks dig Jerks, which I honestly didn't like, and Saied, which
was all right until the horrible, horrible pun at the end).
The first thing that always strikes me is the language, and the use of
the language. Sherwin's style is both heavily colloquial and trying
hard, at times, to be very literate. The resulting prose is as likely
to produce gems as weird sentences. In Sherwin's worlds, people talk
like they're nobel prize winners who got hooked on all sorts of
halluginogenic drugs, lived on the streets for years as hobos, and are
trying to make a comeback in the University of their choice. Street
patois is used in literary-sounding sentences, expressing the
complexity of life in long, complex sentences full of ideas. And then
there are also cheap, pseudo-philosophical "Life is hard, then you
die" bullshit. And they all live happily hand in hand. He puts words
in the mouth of his characters that you simply wouldn't hear in real
life, and then comes up with (what I think are) such great lines as
"Professor Snell was a very old man when you had him for Organic
Chemistry, and while the years may have been kind to him, the last few
minutes were brutal".
It came as a shock to see Sherwin's posts, because he doesn't write
like that *at all* in his posts.
But for all their schizophrenia - or maybe *because* of it - his
writing is imbued with a vigour, a verve, a vim, that simply does not
let go. His characters may or may not be realistic - sometimes they
seem to be so realistic they come out the other side of realism and
become stylizations - but man, they're interesting, even if because so
many of them are losers. Sherwin's descriptions are vivid, and his
storylines are wild. The Sherwin experience is certainly a love or
hate experience, no middle ground - but either way, it's certainly as
remarkable and unique as it is memorable.
I've been wanting to say this for a while now, and this post gave me
the chance, as I couldn't think of a single game to put this in as a
review. :)
Peter Pears
logs me in with the wrong account. :P
dott.Piergiorgio
> By the way, I'm the author of the previous post. I hate it when Google
> logs me in with the wrong account. :P
well, I like your other nick ;) It's an Italian term really fitting an
IF author ;)
(Primo Canto means "first song" but also "first chapter" in poetry) so
this term for me has strong rings of epic poetry, so I strongly
encourage you to freely use this :) )
Best regards from Italy,
dott. Piergiorgio.
Jacek Pudlo
> Hey there r*if, it's been a long time, but I haven't had a craving for
> cretinous blovations deconstructing the same tired and largely
> incorrect points about Galatea in just as shitty a manner as they were
> made ten years ago, nor have I needed to hear how the wonderful and
> approachable Inform7 is responsible for all the pain and suffering in
> the western world. But I hope we can put how awful you are as a Usenet
> group behind you since you drove virtually all my friends off, and
> focus on what really matters: what I've been up to.
Virtually all your friends reside on Usenet? How... sad, I guess. Don't you
socialise with the people in your trailer park?
> At this point, if the previous times I've announced games here is any
> indication, the next three or four posts will be people losing their
> goddamn Christing minds because the archive size is almost 600 MB.
This isn't really the issue. On some level of your Precambrian mind, I'm
sure you're aware of this. People dislike your games not because the files
are large, but because your games are bad. The reason why you make your
downloadable material so bloated is to give you a convenient pretext for the
lukewarm reception your games usually recieve. This is pretty basic stuff --
you see a lot of it in artistic wannabe circles. It doesn't make you a bad
human being. It only makes you a cowardly artist, one who is emotionally
unable to face defeat. It's the same with the Photoshopped monstrosities of
your so-called "artwork." Yes, I know, they are *supposed* to be ugly, but
why not make something with conviction? What does, however, make you a bad
human being is the transparency of the pose you strike. You come here with
your foul mouth and your infantile Christ-hating nihilism, and yet somehow
you never miss an opportunity to lick the Establishment's boots.
Robb Sherwin
> Robb Sherwin
> Virtually all your friends reside on Usenet? How... sad, I guess. Don't you
> socialise with the people in your trailer park?
You live in Poland. I'm trying to think if there's anyone else on
earth who has less cause to make fun of "trailer parks" than a guy who
lives in the re-gifted fruitcake of Europe.
Also, since you don't actually understand English -- you sort of
gurgle it out, like a Mynah bird experiencing its death throes thanks
to a bad batch of jelly, the inference was regarding my friends on
Usen--(this is where it would get tedious to explain it to you, so
I'll stop. Going forward with it would be like trying to start a
thread on Galatea on intfiction.org ten years after yipping and
barking out the first decade's worth of attempts.)
>The reason why you make your downloadable material so bloated
Oh - I should have clarified that for those of you living with bombed-
out infrastructure, crumbling economies and cuisine centered around
the bursting flavor of boiled hockey pucks. Here in the first world,
600 megabytes *isn't that much*. I know it probably seems like all the
data the universe could hold to a people who can't keep their
President from attaching new meaning to "grass-roots movement" (the
trick is to keep all the passengers in the airplane blowing backwards,
buddy) but to the rest of us it's not that much.
I guess the other thing I was going to do was make fun of you for
trying to make the argument that other artistic mediums have variable
file sizes because it's the stupidest non-argument I've seen out of
you yet. You "see it a lot" though, ha ha. But then I remembered that
the chief medium for art in your country is the back of caves, which
probably HAVEN'T been completely standardized yet, so I should be more
sensitive. I wish you and your countrymen the best of luck with
developing the Extended Back of Cave-Dweller's Interchange Code,
though, and it won't be long before you go from that to making a
lawnmower that can mow rocks.
> You come here with your foul mouth and your infantile Christ-hating nihilism, and yet somehow
> you never miss an opportunity to lick the Establishment's boots.
Haha, this is why I can never take our exchanges seriously. :)
Nikos Chantziaras
> On Jun 12, 10:19 am, "Jacek Pudlo"<ja...@jacek.jacek> wrote:
>>
>> The reason why you make your downloadable material so bloated
>
> Oh - I should have clarified that for those of you living with bombed-
> out infrastructure, crumbling economies and cuisine centered around
> the bursting flavor of boiled hockey pucks. Here in the first world,
> 600 megabytes *isn't that much*.
Just for the record, bandwidth in Europe is miles ahead of what's
available in the US. It's almost always flatrate and plenty. 600MB is
something like a 5 minutes download. Unless you're downloading from a
server based in the US, where they don't have the bandwidth to send the
data as fast as we can receive over here ;-)
Jacek Pudlo
a place you can call home and don't have to bother people like me for spare
change. Instead of nurturing your inferiority complex, you should embrace
who you are. You live in a nice bare-chested neighbourhood where everyone is
white and everyone can freely display their tattoos and never have to worry
about what tie goes with which shirt. I think many educated people would
envy you your freedom. This is your cultural home. This is the place from
which all your characters derive. Embrace it.
Adam Thornton
If raif is _Trailer Park Boys_, then who is which character?
I'm probably Mr. Leahy.
Adam