Can us dragons still allow U4 downloads?
Darien Dragon
and I need content. My downloads section especially is looking rather
weak.
Darien Dragon
--==(UDIC)==--
"She killed it Peg. You made it sick, but Marcy killed it."
Wtcher Dragon
Samurai
>Well, can we? I'm making new Ultima pages since my others are gone,
>and I need content. My downloads section especially is looking rather
>weak.
From the RGCU* FAQ:
* _Any_ member of UDIC may make the Computer Gaming World edition
of Ultima 4 available. (This means that you can't add or
delete anything from the archive.)
EA never rescinded the right to offer that specific version of U4 for
download, so it remains in force.
--
___________________________________________________________
\^\^//
,^ ( ..) Samurai Dragon -==UDIC Sig Code==-
| \ \ -==(UDIC)==- d++e+N T--Om+U146MA7'! L8u uC++
\ `^--^ \\\\//// uF-uG++uLB+uA+nC++uR nH+nP+++
\ \ \ (2 Attentive Points) nI--nPT nS+++nT--wM-wC y+ a25
ksj ^--^ ___________________________________________________________
Darien Dragon
<Sam...@his.reply-to.address> wrote:
>Quoth dar...@ultima-dragons.org (Darien Dragon):
>>Well, can we? I'm making new Ultima pages since my others are gone,
>>and I need content. My downloads section especially is looking rather
>>weak.
>
>From the RGCU* FAQ:
>
> * _Any_ member of UDIC may make the Computer Gaming World edition
> of Ultima 4 available. (This means that you can't add or
> delete anything from the archive.)
CGW edition? Ergh. I need to find that now to make it downloadable. I
almost just zipped up a U4 folder on the UC CD. Thank you for posting
this. :)
>
>EA never rescinded the right to offer that specific version of U4 for
>download, so it remains in force.
>--
> ___________________________________________________________
> \^\^//
>,^ ( ..) Samurai Dragon -==UDIC Sig Code==-
> | \ \ -==(UDIC)==- d++e+N T--Om+U146MA7'! L8u uC++
> \ `^--^ \\\\//// uF-uG++uLB+uA+nC++uR nH+nP+++
> \ \ \ (2 Attentive Points) nI--nPT nS+++nT--wM-wC y+ a25
>ksj ^--^ ___________________________________________________________
Darien Dragon
The Chao Bell
> CGW edition? Ergh. I need to find that now to make it downloadable. I
> almost just zipped up a U4 folder on the UC CD. Thank you for posting
> this. :)
I gots it. ^_^
http://www.cybernothing.org/~holychao/ultima/ultima4.zip
--
Selece Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Chao Bell Software holy...@cybernothing.org
===================================================
Elvis eats boats! Elvis eats boats! Elvis elvis
elvis elvis elvis elvis elvis elvis eats boats!
--Mojo Nixon, "Elvis Is Everywhere"
===================================================
http://www.cybernothing.org/~holychao
http://www.kekkai.org/holychao
http://www.io.com/~holychao
Darien Dragon
<holy...@cybernothing.org> wrote:
>On Jul 5 Darien Dragon sat down and scribbled thusly:
>
>> CGW edition? Ergh. I need to find that now to make it downloadable. I
>> almost just zipped up a U4 folder on the UC CD. Thank you for posting
>> this. :)
>
>I gots it. ^_^
>
>http://www.cybernothing.org/~holychao/ultima/ultima4.zip
Thankee. Ashamedly that's the first time in some time I've seen your
page. Nice shelf. ^_^ It reminds me of a table I almost worked on.
>
>--
>Selece Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
>Chao Bell Software holy...@cybernothing.org
>===================================================
>Elvis eats boats! Elvis eats boats! Elvis elvis
>elvis elvis elvis elvis elvis elvis eats boats!
>--Mojo Nixon, "Elvis Is Everywhere"
>===================================================
>http://www.cybernothing.org/~holychao
>http://www.kekkai.org/holychao
>http://www.io.com/~holychao
>
Darien Dragon
The Chao Bell
> Thankee. Ashamedly that's the first time in some time I've seen your
> page. Nice shelf. ^_^ It reminds me of a table I almost worked on.
Thanks. :)
I never did find proper shelves for it.
--
Selece Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Chao Bell Software holy...@cybernothing.org
===================================================
37% of your base are belong to IRS.
Darien Dragon
<holy...@cybernothing.org> wrote:
>On Jul 5 Darien Dragon sat down and scribbled thusly:
>
>> Thankee. Ashamedly that's the first time in some time I've seen your
>> page. Nice shelf. ^_^ It reminds me of a table I almost worked on.
>
>Thanks. :)
>
>I never did find proper shelves for it.
You wrote that they looked good there, so you must like them. I'd say
that makes them proper enough. :)
>
>--
>Selece Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
>Chao Bell Software holy...@cybernothing.org
>===================================================
>37% of your base are belong to IRS.
>===================================================
>http://www.cybernothing.org/~holychao
>http://www.kekkai.org/holychao
>http://www.io.com/~holychao
>
Darien Dragon
The Chao Bell
> You wrote that they looked good there, so you must like them. I'd say
> that makes them proper enough. :)
They're okay. I'd still like to find some decent shelves to put on it,
mostly because one of them (the botton one, fortunately) just sort of
buckled under the load when Spazz decided to hop his fat ass onto
it. The rest of them are holding fairly well, though.
--
Selece Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Chao Bell Software holy...@cybernothing.org
===================================================
"Look on Taco's face as I +1 first post for the next
month: Priceless. There are some things that money
can't buy. For everything else, there's karma."
-Signal 11
Samurai
>Samurai <Sam...@his.reply-to.address> wrote:
[munch]
>>From the RGCU* FAQ:
>>
>> * _Any_ member of UDIC may make the Computer Gaming World
>> edition of Ultima 4 available. (This means that you
>> can't add or delete anything from the archive.)
>
>CGW edition? Ergh. I need to find that now to make it downloadable.
I would have offered some links, but as you no doubt saw, Selece
already has done. :)
>I almost just zipped up a U4 folder on the UC CD. Thank you for
>posting this. :)
No worries. I wish news.answers would get a move on and approve me as
official poster, so I can post the rest of the FAQ again. If they
don't by Monday, I think I'll send it out unofficially again.
Corvid Dragon
20:47:22 GMT:
> Quoth dar...@ultima-dragons.org (Darien Dragon):
> >Samurai <Sam...@his.reply-to.address> wrote:
> [munch]
> >>From the RGCU* FAQ:
> >>
> >> * _Any_ member of UDIC may make the Computer Gaming World
> >> edition of Ultima 4 available. (This means that you
> >> can't add or delete anything from the archive.)
> >
> >CGW edition? Ergh. I need to find that now to make it downloadable.
>
> I would have offered some links, but as you no doubt saw, Selece
> already has done. :)
Is the CGW edition different from the UC version?
[snip]
--
'til next sign,
Corvid Dragon
-=(UDIC)=-
d++++ e+* N T--- Om+++ UK1234!5!6!7'!S'!89 u+++ uC++++ uF uG++
uLB uA++ nC+ nH+ nP- nI nPT nS++ nT- wM wC++ wS wI+ yz+ a20
and is "courage" iambic or trochaic?
Michael McIntyre
>>
>>http://www.cybernothing.org/~holychao/ultima/ultima4.zip
>
>Thankee. Ashamedly that's the first time in some time I've seen your
>page. Nice shelf. ^_^ It reminds me of a table I almost worked on.
*SP raises eyebrows*
"Nice shelf?" You say "nice shelf" to a lady?!?!
---
Michael McIntyre | USDA zone 6a in sw VA
Silvan Pagan Dragon -=UDIC=- | silvan...@ultima-dragons.org
d+ e- N+ T+ Om+++ U123456!7!S!8!9! u++ uC++ uF- uG uLB- uA++
nC+ nH+ nP+ nI nPT nS++++ nT+ wM---- wC--- wS---- o--- oE----
y+ a29
Michael McIntyre
Yes, it says "CGW edition" instead of "UC edition" :)
Darien Dragon
<silvan...@ultima-dragons.org> wrote:
>>>I gots it. ^_^
>>>
>>>http://www.cybernothing.org/~holychao/ultima/ultima4.zip
>>
>>Thankee. Ashamedly that's the first time in some time I've seen your
>>page. Nice shelf. ^_^ It reminds me of a table I almost worked on.
>
>*SP raises eyebrows*
>
>"Nice shelf?" You say "nice shelf" to a lady?!?!
I was waiting for that. :)
Hey, so long as I didn't say rack I'm safe.
>---
>Michael McIntyre | USDA zone 6a in sw VA
>Silvan Pagan Dragon -=UDIC=- | silvan...@ultima-dragons.org
>d+ e- N+ T+ Om+++ U123456!7!S!8!9! u++ uC++ uF- uG uLB- uA++
>nC+ nH+ nP+ nI nPT nS++++ nT+ wM---- wC--- wS---- o--- oE----
>y+ a29
>
>http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
Darien Dragon
Michael McIntyre
>>
>>"Nice shelf?" You say "nice shelf" to a lady?!?!
>
>I was waiting for that. :)
>Hey, so long as I didn't say rack I'm safe.
You wouldn't want to say "nice shelf" to MY wife... She has a shelf.
That's what she calls it (them) even.
Amarande
<silvan...@ultima-dragons.org> dumped into the public bit supply:
>>>*SP raises eyebrows*
>>>
>>>"Nice shelf?" You say "nice shelf" to a lady?!?!
>>
>>I was waiting for that. :)
>>Hey, so long as I didn't say rack I'm safe.
>
>You wouldn't want to say "nice shelf" to MY wife... She has a shelf.
>That's what she calls it (them) even.
Dangit. Brag about your busty wife in front of the single guys, would
you ... well, we'll have to do something about that! ...
Aurelian, hiding in the bushes, watches Silvan Pagan step over a
certain faintly marked square on the grass, and presses a small red
button on a plain black radio control unit. There is the faint sound
of machinery, and then a slamming noise as a small metal cage falls
over Silvan Pagan imprisoning him to the spot. This metal cage
strangely enough has four roundish openings about nine inches around
each, which are all around head level.
Next, four small openings appear in the ground on one side of Silvan
Pagan. A steel pole rises up out of each opening with a small metal
box on top, until it is level with one of the holes in the cage. The
side of each box that faces the hapless Dragon drops off and falls
with a clatter to the ground, revealing ... EIGHT INCH COCONUT CREAM
PIES!
Four metal springs suddenly uncompress.
SPROING! SPROING! SPROING! SPROING!
SPLUT! SPLUT! SPLUT! SPLUT!
There is then the sound of a winch as the cage rises to free Silvan
Pagan. A strange, electronic-sounding voice begins to repeat,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ...
Aurelian Dragon
Michael McIntyre
>>That's what she calls it (them) even.
>
>Dangit. Brag about your busty wife in front of the single guys, would
>you ... well, we'll have to do something about that! ...
*SP wipes coconut cream off face, making yucky motions with mouth*
(next time make it chocolate, boston cream, apple, cherry or perhaps a nice
berry cobbler... raw coconut is good, but I don't care for it cooked)
I wasn't bragging. She just calls'em her "shelf" and always has, so that's
a term I associate with hooters.
Hey, I'd share the wealth if I could. (Hmmmm... I could get a webcam
and... hey honey, c'mere!)
Amarande
<silvan...@ultima-dragons.org> dumped into the public bit supply:
>>>You wouldn't want to say "nice shelf" to MY wife... She has a shelf.
>>>That's what she calls it (them) even.
>>
>>Dangit. Brag about your busty wife in front of the single guys, would
>>you ... well, we'll have to do something about that! ...
>
>*SP wipes coconut cream off face, making yucky motions with mouth*
>(next time make it chocolate, boston cream, apple, cherry or perhaps a nice
>berry cobbler... raw coconut is good, but I don't care for it cooked)
Heh. With more minor subjects, I'd use chocolate. When it comes to
consistently being reminded of the fact that Other Dragons have been
having a considerably better time with women than I have, it's time to
break out the coconut. :>
Oh, and you really do not want the Boston Cream. The local grocery
store uses some truly disgusting crap in the Boston Cream filling.
What, I'm not exactly certain, but it tastes quite yicky and has all
the texture of separated tapioca pudding. Believe me, you're better
off with cooked coconut than that stuff. :>
>I wasn't bragging. She just calls'em her "shelf" and always has, so that's
>a term I associate with hooters.
>
>Hey, I'd share the wealth if I could. (Hmmmm... I could get a webcam
>and... hey honey, c'mere!)
I suppose that'd be fun, but I'd say it'd be more useful to know your
secret to getting a good woman. Well, as long as it doesn't involve
sitting on a giant pile of cash. I already *know* that people who sit
on a giant pile of cash have an easy time getting women without any
other "secrets" ... :>
Aurelian Dragon
Samurai
[munch]
>*SP raises eyebrows*
>"Nice shelf?" You say "nice shelf" to a lady?!?!
You never read Thirith's linguistics paper based on RGCUD, did you?
My suggested comment to a lady once was "Nice cellulite!" >;D
Michael McIntyre
>consistently being reminded of the fact that Other Dragons have been
>having a considerably better time with women than I have, it's time to
>break out the coconut. :>
Oh, well as long as it was a conscious decision. :)
>Oh, and you really do not want the Boston Cream. The local grocery
>store uses some truly disgusting crap in the Boston Cream filling.
>What, I'm not exactly certain, but it tastes quite yicky and has all
>the texture of separated tapioca pudding. Believe me, you're better
>off with cooked coconut than that stuff. :>
Sounds like the time my wife tried to make one from scratch. Eghads that
was nasty. The icing was hard like the chocolate coating on a dipped ice
cream cone, the cake hadn't risen properly, and the filling... Gack!
Hey, not that I haven't had my share of culinary failures, mind you. I've
had more than my share for sure, but still, as flops go, that one flopped
HARD. She gets serious points for trying to make something like that
totally from scratch, but the execution or the recipe or both fell quite a
bit short of the mark... I suspect that both were at fault.
>I suppose that'd be fun, but I'd say it'd be more useful to know your
>secret to getting a good woman. Well, as long as it doesn't involve
>sitting on a giant pile of cash. I already *know* that people who sit
>on a giant pile of cash have an easy time getting women without any
>other "secrets" ... :>
I've told bits of the story before, but here is the complete, unedited
version, straight from brain to keyboard:
Silvan Pagan "D. Michael McIntyre" Dragon's Complete Dating History
When I met Renee, I had had two dates.
One was with a chick from Spanish Camp who had come to my town a few weeks
later to visit her sister in college (this was at some point before I could
drive.) When she arrived, she asked me to invite my best friend Court to
go along (we had been writing for a couple of years at that point.) We
went to McDonald's. We rented a movie. We tried to watch "Throw Mama from
the Train" while eating potato chips on my couch. I sat on one end, Court
on the other with her in the middle. I got nowhere. Court sat there the
whole time watching us instead of the movie. After that was over, I got a
very quick peck on the mouth (my first simulated kiss) and she disappeared
from my life forever. Her last request of me was that I give her Court's
address... Pretty bad when you get dumped from a long distance
relationship for another long distance relationship. :( I was naive. In
camp, when she put my room key down her shirt, she WANTED me to go in after
it. DAMMIT BOY! Of course, mind you, I was ignoring this particular chick
in favor of a prettier chick anyway. Both from the same home town, and
both had some interest in me, though I think after the fact that the pretty
chick was just bitchy enough to want to take me away from the more chunky
chick out of spite. We (the chunky chick and I) didn't "hook up" until
later, by mail, and then the pretty chick started writing me too, and
everything kind of went all to hell, as mail relationships go, and this was
in the days before e-mail and even before BBS echo boards became common in
my area, so it was snail mail all the way... But I still had the date, and
she still dumped me, sort of. Truthfully, I don't remember the exact
sequence of events, but the short end moral of the story is that I blew
whatever kind of relationship/experience I could have had with the fat
chick because I was chasing the nice butt and long, long hair. I mean for
pity's sake, the only reason I didn't go for the keys is because the other
chick was sitting on my other side, and I didn't want to blow my chances
with her...
The second was an underclassman (underclasswoman?) I had met during a
multi-school, county-wide field trip to La Maison du Gourmet to eat canard
à l'orange and speak bad French... She was mildly odd looking, but making
goo-goo eyes at me, and her interest was obvious to everyone. My
classmates started giving me hell about having talked to her immediately
after we got back on our bus.
I asked her out by mail, or maybe even by phone. She agreed. I drove to
the other side of the county to pick her up, and then I realized that WOW
was she ugly. Must've been something in that duck! That's OK, ugly's OK,
so we get chicken... She orders potato salad and cole slaw... OK, I know
being an anal retentive picky eater isn't going to make my life easy, but
damn, no WAY I'm going to kiss her after eating THAT (especially not since
she's really quite ugly) so basically I was trying to find nice ways to end
it after that. Pretty shallow of me, I know.
Really shallow of me, actually. That poor girl. I really broke her heart
into a million pieces. I felt like shit when I learned she was so ugly
because she had been undergoing major reconstructive surgery to correct
some kind of congential defect. OTOH thinking with my genes, do I want to
mix with genes that produce such an offspring?
Well anyway, that was high school. The last one might have been my senior
year, or maybe my junior (final and penultimate for non-Americans.) I was
driving then, and I think that was after I totaled the Pinto (another
story; not my fault) so it was likely my senior year. There were other
chicks along the way, and some I even asked out. One was promising until
she ended up going out with a friend of mine. I was majorly infatuated
with another one who ultimately ended up marrying a friend of mine, then
leaving him while he was stationed aboard a nuclear submarine, and royally
fucking up his life... good thing I didn't marry THAT one, eh? I think I
asked both of those out and got shot down. Then some boofy haired chick I
asked to the prom. Shot down.
Oh, I forgot about that one... Girl in French class... I can't even
remember he name. Must have been my junior year or earlier, because the
Pinto was still around. Anyway, we chatted, she said "So you wanna go
steady?" and I said yes of course. We talked by phone a few times, and
then whatever weird relationship we're supposed to have had just went away.
I wasn't sure was I was supposed to do. I mean, we hadn't even had a date.
Then one time the car broke down and I got back late. I called her anyway,
and she was asleep, and got pissed off. That ended what was left of
whatever weird thing that was. I don't really count that episode as being
a real part of my history, so I tend to forget about it.
Blather blather, anyway, jump to my sophomore year of college. I spent the
first year without a date of any kind, but I still had high hopes about
several chicks who were going to give me the attention I so wanted
eventually. I did ask at least one chick out during this period. She was
in front of me in French class... Came in late and drunk every morning,
and she was sorta cute, and always talking about waking up in strange beds.
I finally popped the question, and her immediate reply was "[even though
I'll fuck anything with at least one leg] I don't date freshmen." I
probably could have had Dr. Vitale during this period too. I knew she
wanted me, but I didn't know exactly how to play my side of the game. She
liked my mind and my body, but she was looking for someone more
wine-and-cheesy than I am, and I just didn't know what to do with the hints
she was dropping. I looked after her house for awhile (she wanted me to
live in it for the summer, but my parents wouldn't let me, so I just drove
by a few times a week or whatever), and went through her stuff trying to
find sex toys, and sniffing her underwear, but that was as close as I got
to Dr. Vitale. She ended up with some other student. Damn. My first
could have been a really sexy 30-something Italian woman who looked good in
leather pants and spoke three or four languages fluently. Bet SHE could
have taught me a thing or two... :) (Then again, she only had one
eyebrow, and it took up most of her forehead...)
Where were we... Jumping to the sophomore year. Right. Latin class. Day
one. I scope out the babes, as is my custom. One babe in the corner is
particularly striking. I mark her as the target of my pathetic infatuation
for the semester. Then there's this other babe who's gooooooooorgeous, but
probably already ruled out (most likely wearing sorority letters or
something that ruled her out categorically) and then there's this fat
chick.
I tried to strike up a conversation with the babe in the corner, and
meanwhile the fat chick kept trying to strike up a conversation with me.
Leave me alone, will you? I'm busy here with this babe, and you're fat, so
piss off. (I never said that, just thought it.)
The first babe was married. Damn. The second babe was just too perfect
for me (she went on to be Miss Virginia and perhaps beyond... she really
was incredibly hot) and not in my leage at all. The fat chick OTOH
continued to bother me in class, and eventually learned where I worked.
I was working in the language lab, trapped there several hours a day on a
regular schedule. She figured out the schedule so she could always come by
when I was in there. She just wouldn't fucking leave me alone. She called
me "Mike" which I FUCKING HATE.
Eventually I made a big issue out of it and got all hostile and shitty with
her over the name, hoping she would get mad and go away. It didn't work.
She called me Michael thereafter.
I was running out of ways to piss her off short of being a total asshole,
so I started smoking around her. In those days I was almost a closet
smoker, all worried about what my professors (the keys to my future; what a
joke THAT turned out to be) would think. (Ah, smoking was so COOL in those
days. I felt sure it would land me a girl. Actually, I started smoking
because of a girl I wanted to impress, but that's another story and nothing
ever came of it except empty infatuation and a cigarette addiction. A
common thread you've doubtless realized...) So anyway, I broke out the
Camels every chance I got, blew smoke in her face, etc. trying to piss her
off and make her go away. She didn't smoke, but her whole family did. It
didn't bother her at all. So much for that.
So it went for a couple of months. (Goes, went... I'm changing tenses
here. I realize that, but this is taking too long for me to re-write the
whole account, so picky people just get over it...) She just kept coming
around, getting into my space, and bugging the shit out of me. Her
interest was obvious, but I still had my sights set on one of the chicks
from my freshman year (she was in my major, and we had a lot of the same
clases, and she was gorgeous and only slightly bitchy) and wouldn't give
the fat chick the time of day. One of the last tactics I used to get rid
of her was to mention the gorgeous chick's name every chance I got. What
do you think of Jen? Do you think Jen likes me? etc.
I was a 19-year-old virgin (spanking the monkey like 20 times a day) with
two very pathetic dates under my belt and nothing else going on except in
the realm of fantasy, but I didn't want that fat chick's attention at all.
Not me! I was getting desperate. Honor and my generally good nature
dictated that I not do anything TOO terrible to try to piss her off, but I
wanted to be rid of her, lest I get stuck with some fat chick instead of
one of the many beauties I had pined for over the years. There are two
schools nearby. One of them rejected my application, so I defaulted to my
alma mater. By this point, I had a good GPA and lots of brownie points
with my profs, so I could likely have gotten into the other, better one
(Virginia Tech... people have even heard of it, whereas nobody knows where
the hell Radford University is, other than a guess that it's in a place
called Radford, whereverthehell Radford is). I came really, really close
to transferring, just to get away from the fat chick.
Then I saw the movie "The Fisher King." Don't ask me why, but that movie
changed my attitude about Renee. Slowly at first, but I became open to the
possibility. Something about the way the chick in that movie was basically
good in spite of being skanky (though not fat) and her man treated her like
dog shit and then turned around at the end... I don't know what clicked,
but the movie changed my perception and allowed me to see Renee as
something other than a problem for the first time.
So finally I decided that since her interst was SO obvious I could probably
exploit that to at least lose my virginity. I hadn't completely gotten
over not wanting to be with a fat chick, but I figured I could at least
lose my cherry and be less socially awkward (RU had the highest incidence
of STDs in the state that year... being a virgin was definitely weird.)
So I asked her out. She accepted, surprise surprise. I ended up getting
all the way to cunilingus on the first date, and spent plenty of time
ogling and groping her bodacious tatas, though the panties never actually
came off. Ah, pussy smelled so HEAVENLY in those days. I would sniff my
fingers for hours afterwards...
So gradually we started to hang out more and do stuff, and lots of almost
sex. I bought her a diamond in the hopes of bridging the gap and finally
getting into her pants. Or maybe I had already done so by then, and wanted
to keep it coming. I'm not sure, but anyway, it was more of a calculated
thing than an expression of a real desire to marry the girl.
More like I just stuck around because she loved me so desperately that I
didn't have the heart to break it off. Not to mention it's not like I had
anything else going on anyway. Yeah, dump her because she's fat, even
though she's putting out, and then I can go do what? Go back to thinking
up ways to kill myself because I'm so lonely?
I more or less planned to put off marrying her indefinitely, to leave my
options open. I did plan to take her with me to grad school (I was going
to do my MA and PhD at UNC Chapel Hill, and had even started making the
necessary contacts to get myself into their program.) Eventually I no
longer really considered dumping her, but I still wanted to avoid marriage
as long as I could, just in case it was still possible not to follow in my
grandfather's and father's footsteps (my grandmother and mother are both...
well... they're pretty damn ugly, and they're both seriously bitchy wives
that *I* wouldn't want to live with) and land myself one of those gorgeous
chicks.
Then Jonathan was conceived. We got married a couple days after the test
came back. I moved out of my parents' house for the first time (I had
lived at home all through college, which certainly did nothing good for my
social life) and into Renee's apartment. We didn't consumate the marriage
that night. Instead, I spent the evening sitting on the simulated couch
thing in the simulated living room, playing my 12-string Washburn and
crying. So much for connubial bliss.
I was unemployed for awhile, but eventually got on at Wal-Mart. Well,
actually, I had the language lab job, and I was working part time in a copy
center, but I wasn't making anything more than beer and condom money. I
had to get a real full-time job. My grades went all to shit, and at that
point I basically gave up on school. No more dreams about being a
professor. Not that I ever REALLY wanted that, but it was something to do,
something to think about. Once I put this ring on my finger, all of that
went down the toilet forever, and I really don't have that many regrets
about it, because that was never what I REALLY wanted to do, just something
to have ready to answer people when they asked me what I was going to do
when I grew up. (What I REALLY want is to retire as soon as possible.
Working sucks.)
So I ended up marrying the fat chick after all, just like Dad. However,
there's one enormous difference. My mother is a stone cold ball-busting
bitch. I wouldn't touch her with a 10' pole if she weren't my mother and
were the last woman on earth. Dad's story involves getting Mom drunk and
spooging on her leg, conceiving me. They never came close to loving each
other. She hated him then, and always has hated him. Their relationship
is cold like ice, and I have no idea on earth why they're still married,
seven years after I moved out.
Renee is plump, and all the more disapointing that she be so because she
would actually come fairly close to being gorgeous if she dropped about 60
pounds. It's true that the sight of her naked doesn't do much to arouse
me, and hasn't for years (when I was still getting over being a virgin
those grotesque chicks in the fat-chick magazines would have aroused me)
but she's a good woman. She and I have history, and we have a lot in
common. We agree on important issues. We share common values, similar
religious beliefs and while our interests are widely different, there's
enough overlap that we have stuff to talk about. Neither of us drinks too
much or has any other really bad habits (other, perhaps, than my smoking.)
Renee is a good woman who happens to be fat, and who also happens to love
me with such ridiculous fervor that it's embarrassing. She chose me, she
wooed me, and she got pregnant to make sure I didn't get away, and then did
it again to make doubly sure. (The second one really pissed me off, since
she was supposed to be on the Pill at that point...)
She's far from perfect, but even though I was a pawn in this whole deal,
she still lets me get away with pretty much everything. I can ignore her
for hours while I'm in here. I can say everything I just said in this
message to her face. She accepts me for who I am, good and bad, and
unconditionally (as long as I don't cheat on her anyway, and she'd likely
forgive even that...)
She's nothing close to what I wanted in a woman, save that she has brown
hair, but we don't always want what's best for us, do we?
All in all, I think I did pretty well, considering my history. It's likely
that had I not finally asked her out, I'd still be alone today. I would
have bought a whore by now for sure, but I might yet be a stranger to the
whole concept of dating and relationships.
It's a strange, strange thing, our marriage. I still see her as the fat
chick even now. I just can't get over it, but even my inability to totally
accept her for who she is has never stopped her from accepting me. It
makes me feel like such a shit sometimes.
To her way of thinking, she got a good looking man who can take care of
things that baffle her (almost everything that remotely smacks of being
mechanical), and who takes care of her physically, emotionally and
financially. She landed a prize fish, and considers herself the luckiest
woman on earth to have been the first in what she thinks must have been a
long line to get into my pants. Well, I never said she was particularly
clever...
She's snowed, basically, but she seems content to be snowed. No matter how
much of an asshole I try to be, she just doesn't let it bother her. I
guess maybe at my worst, I'm just not a very good asshole, and that's why
she wanted me.
That's just it. She knows this story as well as anyone, knows my
motivation and my feelings, but she loves me anyway, almost
unconditionally.
Is beauty so important? By selecting for beauty, I put off my first taste
of female flesh by at least four years, and then again for another two or
three. I chose to be miserable and alone, rather than settle for someone
fat, even realizing from talking to the gorgeous chicks that they were
almost universally bitchy and full of themselves. Finally I came to my
senses, sort of, although I can't claim that my motives were pure at the
beginning of the relationship, or even that they're pure now. I'm here
because I don't have any other place to be. I love my kids, and I like
being Daddy and hubby. I like having a nearly helpless woman who barely
knows which end of a screwdriver to use (though why does she need to? she
was smart enough to figure out how to find a man to use it for her...) It
makes me feel imporant and useful, and I'm basically a perfectionist
trapped in a fuck-up's body, and I can't do anything nearly as well as I
want to. I still have all kinds of self-confidence issues, and having a
woman like Renee around gives me strength. I will do things for her and
for my kids that I would never have the courage to do for myself (like all
the stuff with the loan on the house.) They give my life purpose, and give
me something to fight for and to protect.
Plus she has fucking huge tits... Did I mention that? They're HUGE!
(Also saggy, and I'd trade the tits in for a nice ass any day, but you make
the best out of what you have...)
So at the end of this epic blather, I conclude that I don't have a clue
what to tell you as far as finding a woman. She found me, she wanted me,
she got me. All I had to do was stop saying no. I still don't know jack
about playing the singles game, and of course that's part of her tidy
man-trap. If I dumped her, where would I be? So what incentive do I have
to leave her? Exactly. Nowhere, and none. I have plenty of reasons to
stay, some voluntary, some not, but the only reasons I would have for
leaving are just plain stupid, like throwing my whole life away because my
wife's ass is too fat.
There you have it. I'm not going to edit this. I've already spent a
couple hours here easily, maybe more. If I made a bunch of mistakes or
came off sounding like a selfish asshole, well, so be it. I know at least
one person will start telling me that my wife should divorce me for being
such a prick as to say these things about her here. Well, to that person I
say just get over it. She wanted me, she knew who I was going into this
thing, and she knows who I am now. We have few secrets. Our marriage has
lasted for seven years and counting, odd though it may be.
Well, that's about enough of this...
Darien Dragon
<silvan...@ultima-dragons.org> wrote:
icked,
>
<snippit>
>
>So at the end of this epic blather, I conclude that I don't have a clue
>what to tell you as far as finding a woman. She found me, she wanted me,
>she got me. All I had to do was stop saying no. I still don't know jack
>about playing the singles game, and of course that's part of her tidy
>man-trap.
"Found me, wanted me, got me." I've been there, minus the got me part,
and here's my story.
Well, aren't I the fucking dumbass. My first girlfriend, well, she was
(and IMO) still is a bitch. She was pretty in some regard. Dirty blond
hair, thin enough, not what you'd call underdeveloped either. Average
all in all. Plus, she had an identical twin sister, who liked being
physically close to me from time to time. Nothing came of it, but
hell, close was good at 14. I wouldn't have gone anywhere with the
sister anyway, I couldn't do that to the poor bitch.
Anyway, while I was with bitchy girl, who, for the reason of not
giving a damn about her privacy I will call Jennifer, I met Michelle.
I don't really remember her name, I'm just going on my sometimes
amazing but otherwise shitty memory. Oh man. She was damn cute, sweet,
perfect basically. She wanted me to have lunch with her and her
friends. (All female) Cool.
Well, I said no at the time. I saw that she seemed to be attempting
something with me. Yeah, lunch to start with, but I could tell
instantly from her actions etc. that she was interested. I knew that
lunch would equal getting to know eachother better, get-togethers, and
probably one hell of a relationship. Since I'm Mr. Nice Guy, I said no
and avoided her thereafter simply because I had a girlfriend. WTF?!
Why did I run from a beautiful sweetheart to stay with a bitch?? See,
if I had a brain, or maybe if my dangly bits had the sense to take
over I,'d have said sure, and promptly ditched bitchy girl. But no, I
had to be some freakishly nice guy who for some reason had left my
testosterone at home that day. That sweet girl said hi to me a couple
times in the hall and English class, but then she transferred English
classes and I basically never saw her after. It's hard to pick out a
face from 2500 people.
They say you get one chance. I wipped it off the top of the CN Tower
and watched it drift away. At least I'll get another "one chance" once
I escape the teenage years and meet girls that are as mature as me.
Why on earth do I feel like everyone else my age in school acts like
they're five? Why am I so damned mature compared to the better part of
them? Oh well, maybe I'll luck out and be single all my life,
therefore having a different flavour every week. Or else I'll find a
somewhat quiet, sort of cute girl who's into electronics.
*sigh* Thanks for reminding me that I'm alone thus far. Well, thanks
for reminding me that it won't necessarily stay that way. ^_^ I'm 11
years behind you, err, I guess that's 12 now. That gives me a nice bit
of time. :)
Ok, now my apologies for going off on that little tangent. That
message just triggered some memories that pissed me off and I had to
write them out. Ah crap, now I'm thinking of a few other relatively
cute offers I had that I shot down. I'm too picky. I'm gonna go play
with the paper cube I just made out of 6 octagons now. Y'all have a
great night! Uhmm, morning!
<snippit>
zhentil
--
"we've been Waiting fOr summEr but winter came
we've been enterIng people'S hoMes but it was snowing in therE"
- victor tsoi
Corvid Dragon
> She's nothing close to what I wanted in a woman, save that she has brown
> hair, but we don't always want what's best for us, do we?
Yea, verily. This is such a true, and meaningful observation, I don't
even know what to do with it. Certainly not apply in a meaningful way to
my own life, no that would be the smart thing to do. Ah well.
--
'til next sign,
Corvid Dragon
-=(UDIC)=-
d++++ e+* N T--- Om+++ UK1234!5!6!7'!S'!89 u+++ uC++++ uF uG++
uLB uA++ nC+ nH+ nP- nI nPT nS++ nT- wM wC++ wS wI+ yz+ a20
he's bleeding glitter!