Ten Days in the Desert: Day 3
Cambodian Slick
Today I realized that this hotel is infested with poker players. They
are everywhere. No matter where I go, I pick up on pieces of
conversations that involve the words ‘flop' or ‘nuts' or ‘all-in'. I
even saw this kid with a fubu football jersey and a ridiculous fitted
baseball cap monogrammed with a royal flush on front and the words ‘im
all in' on the back. Gee whiz. There are so many dorks playing poker
these days that its losing some of its sheik to me. I need to be
mystified by the personality and the style of gambling to compensate
for my inability to be very good at it. And every monogrammed
baseball cap or playing card tattoo or queer pog-like ‘card protector'
or fanny pack takes away from the coolness of players like harley hall
or phil ivey.
I spent most of the morning in the golden nugget's spa, which wasn't
bad for the fifteen bucks. I ran a few miles, sat in the Jacuzzi, sat
in the steam room for a while. What is the steam room for? What is it
supposed to do? I mean, I love sitting in it, its very relaxing, but
I cant figure out why.
After sitting in the spa I went to the shoe to watch the preakness,
and was beside myself with excitement at funny cide's runaway victory.
I mean, she really blew the doors off them. Its high time we had a
triple crown winner. Id really like to see her win it, since I wasn't
even alive for the last one. During the race they showed a lot of
previews for the seabiscuit movie that comes out in july, and it looks
like its going to be incredible. I can't wait.
Another fifty dollar one table, and I decide to just buy in to the
satellite straight up. I think im the first guy out after the break,
when I was dangerously low on chips and went all in under the gun with
presto and get called by the big blind who has Q 10 off suit, THE
POPE. Sound familiar? Of course he hits his ten and I'm out after
playing well enough. Fuck presto, im sick of going broke to the hand.
How can I say I played well enough if I was dangerously low enough on
chips to go all in with presto utg? Well, I lost a huge stack on a
hand where I limped in on the button with 56suited and flopped a
flush. Guy popped me on the turn with the nut flush and I correctly
laid it down. Then I raised before the flop and made a big bet on the
flop with KK and an A on the turn made me lay down another good hand.
So even though I made good lay downs, I wasn't catching the cards to
last.
Overall, I'd say my play is getting better, though. More disciplined,
tighter, and more and more conscious of lasting longer and my position
relative to big stacks and the next level.
After this satellite I decided that I might want to hang up trying to
win my way into a tournament that I have virtually no shot at anyway.
You just get so caught up in it being here, since practically everyone
will enter (they are talking about breaking 750 now). I sat down at
the little 1-2 No limit table again and played for a long time seeing
no action at all. It was such a goofy game, with a bunch of players
seeing flops for 2 bucks then making ridiculous sized bets at 12
dollar pots. The worst thing was that half the table was just ringers
with table fans who think because they are playing live no limit that
they are Mike McDermott. In fact, one jerkoff even tried to explain
his horrible play on one hand by pointing out to us that he was doing
the same thing Mike did in Rounders…letting a guy catch his flush so
he'd get paid off on the river. He didn't understand the difference
between Mike checking and calling with a full house and him simply
calling huge bets with a set all the way to the river then showing
down the second best hand. Whatever.
I got up to leave the casino and go to the room to nap or something,
but instead sat down in the 5-10 pot limit game since I was so amazed
there was no list. I bought in for the minimum $500 and played like a
rock, which wasn't too hard since I caught great cards for the first
two hours. My favorite hand: I have aces in the cutoff, everyone
passes to me, so I make it $30. The button calls, the blinds fold.
Heads up with the button, a guy with a huge stack of hundreds in front
of him but steaming bad. Flop has a King with two spades. I bet the
pot and he calls. Turn is a card that makes a gutshot straight. I
bet the pot and he calls. I figure him for spades, and wouldn't you
know the river was the 3 of spades. I disgustingly check, and he asks
how much money I have left. I tell him about $500. He peels off five
benjamins and throws them in the pot. I sit there and contemplate,
but really I'm just stewing because I know I have to fold my measly
one pair here, but as I am steaming he starts laughing and says "what
do you have anyway?" I say, if I show you, will you show me one of
your cards? He says "yeah, you show me your hand and I'll show you
one card." So I show him my aces and the guy turns pale and says "oh
that's trash." So I ask him if he's going to show me a card and he
ignores me and laughs. So I throw in the $500 and the jerk has A-K!!!
He called me trying to trap with that cheese! He gets up and leaves
the game after that.
John Hanley comes over to my table and tells me about this goofy game
some guys are playing. We go check it out, its called "Pedanko" or
something equally silly. Its like A-4 lowball draw, but you have to
have all your cards in different suits. Basically, a King high beats
a 4 high if the K high is all rainbow and the 4 high has any suited
cards. They are playing this retarded game, of course, 400-800.
Also in the high limit section at the Shoe is Benny Benhen playing 2-7
draw with O'Neil, the wizard who just got sucked out on at the final
table of the Pot Limit Omaha event against John Juanda. For those who
didn't read about it already, O'Neil flops nut straight, Juanda flops
second nut straight. Both are all-in, but Juanda has a gutshot to a
higher straight, and spikes it on the river. Anyway young Benny is
playing with this guy with a stack of bennys in his hand and a
cigarette dangling from his mouth and I am watching on the rail and
consumed with the thought "this kid has never worked one day in his
life. Not one day." Why are people who are so rich so adored? If
Benny wasn't the grandson of such an incredibly successful and
ingenious person, wouldn't he be just an ordinary ringer with a giant
head? Instead of being a rich and famous ringer with an giant head.
And I mean giant head as in actual girth of his skull, not in the
figurative sense.
After a few hours, I'm up about $2100 in this game and feeling great.
I'm now up bigtime for the trip and won all my buy ins back. Rob and
Jim get to town around midnight and get straight into the 4-8 game
without hardly even dropping off their bags, fucking degenerates.
As I'm headed to bed, I run into a guy I know from Austin and he tells
me he just won his seat in the big one by winning a $175 single table
and parlaying it into a $1000 single table. This, I think to myself,
is genius. Why on earth does anyone play in the $225 satellites?
Why? Why did I not think of this before? Beat two tables of players
playing real poker for $175 or beat 30 playing knuckleheaded rebuy
poker for $225? We all must be idiots. I immediately go buy in to a
single table.
With David Levi on my right, and Johnny Chan at the table next to me,
I realize that the competition is going to be fierce around here.
Seven of us pony up $25 for the last longer pool and at about 1:30am,
the cards are in the air and I am in yet another satellite. I play
pretty strongly, picking up a couple of small pots here and there,
never going all-in and making it into the top four with second place
money. Then this hand happens: My small blind, last hand at 1-200
blinds, david levi raises on the button T600. I have KQ so I go all
in, and the big blind calls all in for an additional T275!!! I
didn't realize how short the guy was, and totally should have mucked
the hand and let david pick him off with whatever trash he was
stealing with. But I didn't, I got cocky with my KQ and went all in
anyway. Levi sits and stares at me, then starts coffeehousing me,
asking me what I have, asking me what I want him to do. I laugh and
say "you won't get a tell on me David, I have the stone cold nuts
man." He says "do you want me to call or not?" I said "look man, I
wouldn't put my money in the pot if I didn't want to win." He puts
his hand on my heart to see if its beating. Then he folds. I show my
KQ, blind shows J6, and David said he folded A7. He's a little
disgusted, but I feel great about this play.
Flop is 776. Shit. Now Levi is pissed and I doubled through the
small stack. No help on the turn and river. He calls me a "big
dummy." I have to agree with him. Blinds are now 200-400 and I am
not going to make it through another round of blinds. Levi goes out
on the next hand with another A7 against Queens, and I go all in under
the gun with a K high and get called by the big blind. No help, and
im virtually gone, just enough to post a part of the big blind and
that's all she wrote. Right after I get up, the other two guys agree
to split the $1600. Fuck!! I lost $800 on that dumb KQ!! Why not
fold and let Levi bust him out??? Geez I'm stupid. J-6. I mutter
"J-6" to myself the whole way home. But, the good news is I won the
last longer so it was a freeroll anyway. I'm back in action in the
morning. J-6.
As I write this, Jim Chonko is MIA once again. Anyone who read my
trip report from last year will remember Jim as the guy who
disappeared and was found with no clothes wandering around the hotel
trying to get into people's rooms. Tonight was his first night in
Vegas, and he has disappeared. J-6. In the pre-trip line, I put the
over/under on number of nights Jim won't be able to remember at 1, so
for those of you who took over, you're in good shape.
Most of our crew gets to town today, so the rest of these reports will
have less poker content and more hilarity, I swear. J-6.
Godspeed.
TWal289
>From: sp...@ureach.com (Cambodian Slick)
Wow,good report,keep them coming.What are the supers like,about 30 entries?
OrangeSFO
> There are so many dorks playing poker
> these days that its losing some of its sheik to me.
"Chiq." It's not an Arabic word.
Will Johnson
Great report C Slick...
Just wondering what that last sentence is...
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Brian Court
> Day 3
>
> Today I realized that this hotel is infested with poker players. They
> are everywhere. No matter where I go, I pick up on pieces of
> even saw this kid with a fubu football jersey and a ridiculous fitted
> all in' on the back. Gee whiz. There are so many dorks playing poker
> these days that its losing some of its sheik to me. I need to be
> mystified by the personality and the style of gambling to compensate
> for my inability to be very good at it. And every monogrammed
Your reports are great and poker does have alot of geeks. But always
remember just because Funny Cide is a gelding, it doesn't make him
a she.
Brian C
dindo
tuxe...@aol.com says...
snip 170 lines of repetitions
>
> Your reports are great and poker does have alot of geeks. But always
> remember just because Funny Cide is a gelding, it doesn't make him
> a she.
>
> Brian C
>
I agree, these reports are nuts, but do you really have to quote the
whole thing to tell us that ?
JP in Minnesota
sp...@ureach.com says...
>
>
>Day 3
>
>Today I realized that this hotel is infested with poker players. They
>are everywhere. No matter where I go, I pick up on pieces of
>conversations that involve the words ‘flop' or ‘nuts' or ‘all-in'.
Or maybe you are at Chicken Ranch... :-)