We've flown in and out of Vegas and Reno 150+ times over the last 11
years, but this was the first time we drove.  We left Seattle on April
26, headed South on I-5, and after a couple days visiting family in the
San Francisco and San Deigo Bay areas, we drove Mrs. Rock's 2002 Honda
into Vegas on I-15 the afternoon of Tuesday, April 30, and got a room at
Bellagio.  We didn't know if we were staying 2 days or 2 weeks, or
what.  Turned out we stayed 21 nights.

We came to town with a trip bank only a third as big as we brought last
year.  The plan was that if either of us could run our half of the bank
up to $20K in the 30/60 game, then he/she could play 80/160.  As soon as
we got there and saw how juicy the 80/160s looked, we reconsidered that
plan, and agreed instead that either of us could and should play 80 so
long as we had the green light from the other.

There was slightly less action than last year, but it was still
awesome.  Last year we sometimes saw five 30/60 games, but I don't think
I saw more than four at any time this year.  Last year the 80/160
must-move and second must-must-move games started earlier and went
longer than this year, but not by much.  Last year the 80/160 main game
went nonstop for the 3 weeks that we were there; this year it actually
broke a couple times between dawn and noon.

As soon as we got into the poker room I saw our friend Mr. X, a Vegas
local, who told us that:

 - The 30/60 and 80/160 games had been extremely good since the Series
began.  Doh.

 - The card quality was worse than ever, with many color-mismatched
cards, particularly in the green decks.

 - He was suspicious of a certain few visiting LA players in the 30 and
80 games, who might be colluding (signaling best hand), trying to
whipsaw players who got between them, and, especially, trying to scope
players' holecards from the rail, then signaling their friend in the
game, or just walking up to their friend and quietly telling him- in
their native tongue- what they had seen.  Enforcement of the "English
Only" rule is pretty poor at Bellagio.
===

Tuesday, April 30 - Day 1

I play 30/60 for about 8 hours and lose $1,742, in spite of flopping
four Kings.

The Europeans are back in force this year, and the French contingent
seems to have doubled.  All the regulars, many newbies, and more than a
few of the French guys brought their wives or girlfriends along.  Lots
of French conversation in the room, and Americans constantly commenting
about how pretty the language is.  Language, smanguage.  How about the
way these guys play?  Viva la France!
===

Wednesday, May 1 - Day 2

I start at 30/60, then try some 80/160, play 14 hours total, and win
$3,176.  That's more like it.

Bellagio Deltas, 2002 vs. 2001:
1.  New carpet in poker Room.  Was mostly gold before, now mostly
black.  Just as dirty, but hides it better.
2.  Many waitresses, maids and others now wearing badges that proclaim
their union affiliation.  Once, in the buffet, as the carver was putting
the wellington on my plate, he told me, in a thick accent, "We strike in
June."  I thought my ears had deceived me, and must have given him a
puzzled look.  So he repeated it.
3.  Poker room food comps used to be worth "$10 or one buffet," which
made them a great value evenings and weekends, when the buffet is $24.95
or more.  Now a comp is good for $15.00, period.  Weekdays, the buffet
is $14.95 until 3:30pm, so that's about the only time you can use a
comp.  We'd been accustomed to being generous to the guys with the
pencil, getting comps, and doing the buffet pretty much any time we
wanted.  No more.  That really sucks.
===

Thursday, May 2 - Day 3  (Anniversary:  Private E-1 Rock drafted 35
years ago today)

I again start at 30, then help start the must-move 80 game.  Began at
Table 4, in Seat 3, my catbird seat, but couldn't stay long. I was first
to move to the main game, where...

P.I. Bert open-raises on the button, and I flat call from he BB with Qd
Jd.  (Shoulda raised?  The Professional Poker Player Formerly Known as
Phil Tomasello used to rag on me for 3-betting a button steal raise with
QJo from the Small Blind.  Then, later in this trip, Izmet chided me for
NOT 3-betting in that same spot.  More I think about it, more I side
with Iz.)

The board came:  A T 4, K, 7

I bet the flop with nothing, but he calls.  Then I check-raise the turn,
but he reraises, and I reraise; he calls.  I guess he had a set and I
got lucky.  It was about the only time I got lucky in that session.

Later than night I got heads-up with Vincente, where I held AJ.  He
checked the turn, but before I could do anything behind him, the
dealer-in-a-hurry put a King on the river.  I was breathing, and may
have blinked, but otherwise I was a statue.  Vince knew I hadn't acted,
and told the dealer "Hey, he didn't do anything yet."  I guess he didn't
like the King any more than I did :-)

The dealer's gestures and expression told us that she wished we could
just pretend that I had checked, and get on with it.  Yeah, right.  I
had to tell her that "No, we can't play the river; we haven't finished
playing the turn yet."  The floorman was called and told me to complete
the action before we take back the river, shuffle, and bring it again.
So I checked, and she shot me a *really* dirty look.  Vince laughed.
Then she brought a Jack, and I smiled.  Then Vince turned over pocket
Queens and I stopped smiling.  This particular dealer is sort of a buddy
of ours, but is fast, sloppy, gabby, and inattentive.  She didn't speak
to me for a couple days after this.  Go figure.

Overall, it was a Bad Day at Black Rock.  I bought four racks in the 80
game, and cashed less then a rack, for a loss of $6,689.  Then I went to
bed and slept like a baby.

===
Fri May 3 - Day 4

The 80 looks real good, but my funds are already low.  Mrs. Rock gives
me a big chunk of her bank, and I get in it anyway.

There is a small and very hyper LA-Vietnamese kid in the game who shows
us all the aggressiveness but none of the skill or cleverness usually
displayed by his countrymen.  In other words, a Megafish.  He likes
nearly every starting hand he sees.  He can't lay down.  He makes the
strangest moves and bets you ever saw.  His stack moves up and down a
lot, but he buys and blows off $6K in 2 hours, goes for more money,
comes back and blows a few more, goes for money again, but doesn't come
back.  Pretty much none of the chips he burned landed on my stack.
Darn.  He was still around 2 weeks later, but I never did play with him
again.  Double darn.

Instead, I hung in, but neared the carpet myself around midnight.  Then
I bounced back a couple racks, but when it began heading south again,
around 4 am, I quit, -$1,871 for the day and -$7,226 for the trip.
Shit.  This sucks.
===

Sat May 4 - Day 5:  Kentucky Derby Day

No Private Showings!

I'm playing 30/60 at Table 5, Seat 3, when Mr. Mason Malmuth takes Seat
1.  Within a couple minutes I am surprised to notice that his cards are
exposed to the other end of the table when he folds preflop.  Rather
than slide them horizontally to the dealer, he lifts them a few inches
off the felt to halfway between horizontal and vertical, then gives a
flick of the wrist to send them towards the muck.

This is something I see all the time, and it always bugs me.  In a game
of incomplete information, how can I tolerate it when my opponents
unfairly get information that I don't get?  Simple.  I can't.

Sometimes it seems like a guy exposing cards is doing it on purpose, but
in this case I'm sure it's just inadvertent carelessness.  From a pro.
Go figure.  I could say something to him, but that would violate my long
standing Official Policy of never trying to tell another player what to
do.  Instead, the next time I see it happen, I immediately point to the
cards, and tell the dealer "Show all, dealer-- that hand!"

Unfortunately, the guy in the box was the single most inept dealer at
Bellagio, and I had to carefully explain to him that the cards had been
exposed to the other end, and so I wanted to see them too.  He finally
understood, and showed us all the pocket fives that had been mucked
carelessly.  Mr. M. said nothing.

Then, two deals later, it happened again!  I made the same verbal demand
of the dealer.  He got flustered, and didn't know what to do, so I asked
him to "Please either show me that hand, or call the floorperson."  Then
Mr. M. said "YES, CALL THE FLOOR!  THIS IS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!"
The floorlady came over.  Mr. M. demanded that she poll the guys at the
other end to ask if they had seen his hand.  I told her that I didn't
care what they said, or if they were asleep, legally blind, or dead;
that the cards had been EXPOSED to them, and so should be exposed to
all.  The poor floorlady didn't know what to do, so I told her "Look, if
you can just arrange for all cards to be mucked face down on the felt, I
will shut up and we can just play."  She shot me a grateful smile, asked
everyone to muck carefully, and went away.

All this time I had said not one word to or about Mr. M; rather I had
referred to "those two cards,"  as though they had been exposed by a
gust of wind.  Oh, but he really was pissed.  He probably thought I was
taking some kind of shot at him, when I was just trying to put a stop to
the exposure of cards.  I'm sorry if he took it as a personal affront.
It wasn't personal at all.

In any case, now he wanted to get me.  I was starting to eat the $8 club
sandwich that Mrs. Rock had kindly brought to me from the Scarf & Barf,
aka "Sam's Snack Shop."  At Mirage there is (or was) a rule against food
at the table, but there is no such rule at Bellagio.  Still, Mr. M.
pointed at me and my lunch, and asked the dealer "Is that allowed in
here?"

Maybe I should have just politely asked him to muck more carefully, and
avoided all the hassle.  That Official Policy of mine is intended to
avoid hassles, but maybe it failed this time.  Usually it works pretty
good.  I don't ask a player to make room for me, or to show me the hand
he just showed his neighbor; instead I ask the DEALER to square the
table, or to "show all."

Mr. M. mucked his hands carefully after that.
---

The Mother of All Muckers

That's what all the dealers call me.  At least I think that's what
they're saying.  Mucking is the strongest part of my game.  Not the
timing so much as the execution.  If there's a clear path across the
cloth between me and the muck, or the dealer's ready hand, then a highly
cultivated and carefully aimed flick of the index finger sends my two
cards straight there.  If the path is blocked, say by chips, I can even
do a bank-shot.  The dealer doesn't have to reach out to retrieve my
folded hand; it's right there at her fingertips.  Ask any Bellagio
dealer if Sgt. Rock isn't The Mother of All Muckers, and they'll say
"Yes!"  Or maybe "Who?"
---
FTTS

No, it's not a new internet protocol.  FTTS simply stands for "Fun
Things to Say" (in the Hold 'Em game.)

FTTS:  "You're Not Gonna Check-Raise Me, Are Ya?"

Two good ol' boy tourists came into the game, sat down together, and
seemed be buddies.  These are the kind of sharpies who might double down
on hard twelve in a blackjack game, if you know what I mean.

Soon I was in a hand where I raised from middle position, the button
called, and both of these guys called from the blinds.  As soon as the
flop came down, the SB mucked his hand.  Then BB mucked his hand.

Have you ever deliberately mucked your hand when there was no bet to
you, and where you could have checked for free?  If not, well, surely
you've seen other guys make this brilliant play.  I myself have been
tempted a few times, but have never done it.

Imagine the player who ALWAYS mucks, just to save time, if he's gonna
fold to any bet, or otherwise hates the board.  If that guy ever just
checks, you better watch out!  When the player in front of me does this
I sometimes say the FTTS above.  I think this was the first time I ever
saw TWO guys consecutively muck like this, so I called for time and
asked them:

  "OK, which one of you guys is going for the check-raise?"
---

Sun, May 5 - Day 6

I get in a 30/60 at 11:00am, again at Table 5, Seat 3.

Later that evening I open-raise from the SB with KJo, and P.I. Bert
calls in the BB.

Board comes:  9 9 2, 2, A.

I bet flop and turn, and he calls.  We both check the river, and I turn
over my hand.  He mucks.   Then THREE guys tell him that the board
plays.  Floorman Bobba is called to the table, and tells us that, yes,
at Bellagio a player can muck and play the board, but only if he
declares "Play the board" before releasing.  Bert had made no such
declaration.  Did I give him half the pot?  No.  Have I ever made so
terrible a mistake myself?  Sure.  Did I try claim "my share" of the pot
after I had goofed?  No way.

Still, Lady Luck must have wanted to punish my lack of compassion, as I
suffered a downhill slide for hours, bought a 3rd rack late in the
evening, a 4th at 1:00am, and ended -$3,018 for the day and -$10,469 for
the trip.  Shit.  Now this REALLY sucks.
===
Mon, May 6 - Day 7

First round of the day I open raise Jc Js in late position, but get
3-bet by the BB.  Board comes:  K 7 T, Q, 4, ALL spades.  He bets flop
and turn, and I fear the As, but when he checks the river I bet, he
calls, then I show and take it.  Dunno what he had.

Then I get into the catbird seat with a loose Frenchman (pardon the
redundancy) on my left.  How loose?  Would you believe open-limp UTG
with 23o?
---
FTTS:  "Sorry, I Got Excited..."

Short handed; 5 players dealt in.  I open-raise UTG with As 3s, and
Little Tony calls from the BB.  I turn the nut flush, but check behind
him.  Then he bets the river.  I accidentally fumble my raise, spill
chips all over the cloth, and
apologize to him and the dealer. "Sorry, I got excited."  He calls.  How
come they never believe me?
---
Playing Slow != Slowplaying

I don't slowplay very much, but I play slowly all the time.  So many
guys seem to want to forcefully splash their bet out there the instant
the flop (or turn, or river) hits, or maybe even BEFORE it hits, and I
never quite understood that.  A
display of confidence?  OK, fine; thanks for the info.  Sometimes I know
beforehand what I'm gonna do on the next round, but more often I gotta
think about it some.  If I act right away when I know, but pause when
I'm not sure, doesn't that give them information that I'd rather not
provide?  Well, sure it does.  In fact, this is a concept that was named
after me:  They call it a "no-brainer."

Also, I'm not looking at the board when cards come down.  I'm watching
my opponents.  I don't look at the board until my turn comes.  So say
we're five handed, I'm fourth, the flop comes, and the first three guys
act.  The dealer and players expect me to act immediately.  They don't
realize that I don't even know what's on the board yet.  When my turn
comes the action stops for a moment, while I look, think, decide, THEN
act.

Hey, it's not like I'm majorly holding up the game.  I'm talking about,
on average, a two second pause.  One thousand one, one thousand two.
Still, this seems to irritate a few players and dealers.  To them I
offer this advice:  Get over it.  Just like I got over being irritated
by the dealers who gesture impatiently to let me know that it's my
turn.  I know whose turn it is.  I also understand that you deal to lots
of players who DON'T know whose turn it is, so the gestures don't bother
me any more.

Before the flop, I ALWAYS pause for two seconds when it's my turn.  It's
still quite amazing how often this causes those guys on my left who have
already looked at their hands to TELL us what they're gonna do.  If you
like, you can call that annoying, angling, rude, or a cheap trick.  I
call it playing poker the best way I know how.
---
A Play-Fast guy open-raises from early position, Little Tony 3-bets from
the middle, and I 4-bet late with AKo.

Flop comes J 4 4 and I bet when it's checked to me, but the opener
INSTANTLY raises. Tony folds, and I call.  Turn is a blank; bet and
call.  Then he bets the river even as the dealer is bringing a King, and
I call.  He shows AJo.  Is it too late to raise?
---

The button open-raises, Little Tony 3-bets from the small blind, and I
4-bet from the BB with 77.

Board comes:  9 9 4, A, 6

Tony bets the flop, I raise, button folds, Tony reraises, and I call.

Turn and river are checked around, and he shows me 88.  Maybe I should
have either mucked preflop, or else followed through on my preflop
aggressiveness and perhaps stolen it on the turn or river.  I think he
might have released if I had bet.
---

Miss, I Think You Left Your Motor Running

In a CP article a couple years ago, Max Shapiro called them "jigglers."
You see them all the time:  Players with lots of nervous energy who
bounce their knee up and down or otherwise jiggle some part of their
body.  Sometimes they're at the other end of the table, and you can't
see their knee bouncing, but you can see their sleeve or collar flapping
back and forth from the exertion.  Sometimes, when a guy who's been
steadily jiggling suddenly STOPS jiggling, it might even TELL you
something.

On swingshift I noticed a DEALER who jiggled.  Her whole body was
bouncing ever so slightly up and down in the chair.  Low amplitude, high
frequency; almost a vibration.  The guy next to me had a sweep second
hand on his watch, and we clocked her at 177 RPM, or just under 3 Hz.

Now here's where it gets weird.  Later, on graveyard, there was ANOTHER
female dealer who jiggled in the chair too.  This one went front-to-back
instead of up and down, and at 174 RPM.

Ya know, I really do need to get a life.
---
I open-raise with AA, get 3-bet by Jason, and just call heads-up.

Board comes:  Q 5 3, 8, 5

I check-call the flop, then check-raise the turn, thinking I'm being
clever.  Then I call his raise on the river and he shows me QQ.  Yeah,
real clever.
---
I limp in the SB with Js 5s after several limpers, but the BB raises.
Board comes 4 6 7, 8, 2.  Pot gets rather large, but it's a 3-way split.

I win $515 for the day.
---
(continued in Part II)
---
Sgt. Rock
http://sarge.virtualave.net
Mail To:  woodrack AT sarge DOT virtualave DOT net