| WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)--The scandal involving
| former C.I.A. director David Petraeus took a startling
| twist today, as a leading right-wing conspiracy theorist
| claimed that Gen. Petraeus initiated his affair with author
| Paula Broadwell last year to avoid testifying about
| Benghazi this week.
|
| "Petraeus is a master of strategy, capable of playing
| several chess moves ahead," said Harland Dorrinson, who has
| a website. "Clearly, he knew it would be handy to be
| embroiled in an extra-marital affair if the situation in
| Benghazi someday went south and he was forced to testify
| about it."
|
| By destroying his career, reputation, and possibly his
| personal life, Mr. Dorrinson said, "General Petraeus
| achieved exactly what he set out to do: skip testifying
| about Benghazi. All I can say is, mission accomplished,
| General. Pretty smooth."
|
| Even though "the reason Petraeus started his affair is
| obvious to anyone with a brain in his head," Mr. Dorrinson
| says, he does not expect the mainstream media to
| investigate his theory any time soon: "The only person I've
| been able to get interested in this is Karl Rove."
|
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http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/11/petraeus-started-affair-last-year-to-cover-up-benghazi-says-conspiracy-theorist.html>
--bks