MEMORABLE HANDS FOR TWOPLUSTWO READERS
twon...@gmail.com
I SEE THAT THE INTRODUCTION OF THE NEW BILL HAS CHANGED THE ONLINE
POKER WORLD. WELL, CHANGE CAN BE A DISTURBING THING FOR THE IGNORAMACES
WHICH POPULATE THE ONLINE POKER WORLD. DON'T THINK SO? GO TALK TO ALL
THE THIRD RATE WEB PROGRAMMERS THAT USE TO MANAGE AFFILIATE PROGRAMS.
THEY USE TO FUND THEIR HIGH STAKES GAMBLING HABITS WITH AFFILIATE
PROFITS BUT NOW THEY ARE REDUCED TO MAKING UPDATES TO GAY PORN SITES
AND MONITORING POKER MESSAGE BOARDS. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO NEED THE
SOOTHING COMFORT OF THE PAST, I PRESENT SOME OF THE BEST HANDS IVE
PLAYED. I'LL EVEN LET YOU CAST A VOTE FOR YOUR LEAST FAVORITE STORY.
JUST DON'T EXPECT ME TO GIVE A DAMN.
[b]HAND VS SKLANSKY[/b]
HEY COWPIES,
TOURNAMENT PLAYERS MUST BE SOME OF THE DUMBEST PEOPLE ON EARTH. THEY
WILL STARE AT YOU FOR ETERNITY AND STILL NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. WELL,
WHEN I PLAYED AGAINST SOME DUMB CHUMP AT THE BELLAGIO IT WAS NO
DIFFERENT. THE CHUMP I AM TALKING ABOUT IS SOME UNKNOWN POKER PLAYER
THAT CLAIMED HE IS THE AUTHOR OF MANY POKER BOOKS. THE PIG COULD NOT
STOP TALKING ABOUT THE GAP CONCEPT AND HOW THE EV OF A STACK DIFFERS
DEPENDING ON THE CURRENT SITUATION. WHAT A CONCEITED MORON. THE DUMB
LUMP STARTS EATING AN EGGROLL AND THEN OPEN RAISES IN FIRST POSITION. I
AM SITTING TO HIS LEFT AND CALL WITH EIGHT THREE OFFSUIT. THE DUMB PIG
SPITS SOME FOOD OUT IN MY DIRECTION WHILE MAKING A COMMENT. HE SAYS,
"YOU MUST HAVE A VERY STRONG HAND. YOU NEED A STRONGER HAND TO JUST
CALL INSTEAD OF RERAISING; THAT IS CALLED THE GAP CONCEPT. I AM THE
GENIUS THAT COINED IT." I DEFINITELY NEED TO TEACH THIS GUY A LESSON.
IF THIS FAT CHUMP IS LUCKY I WILL BUST HIM BEFORE THE BUFFET CLOSES.
BIG BLIND CALLS AND IT IS THREE HANDED TO SEE THE FLOP. SMALL BLIND
CHECKS, THE CHUMP OPENS WITH A POT BET. I LOOK AT FLOP AND IT IS ACE
KING THREE. I CALL AND BIG BLIND FOLDS. THE TURN IS AN EIGHT OF SPADES.
THE LUMP BETS INTO MY TWO PAIRS. I RAISE THE POT AS I COMMENT ABOUT HIS
HAND. "DONT GET THOSE CARDS ALL GREASY YOU FAT LUMP. TWO PAIRS AND A
FLUSH DRAW IS NO GOOD." SHOCKED, THE LUMP HESITATANTLY CALLS. THEY
ALWAYS GET INTIMIDATED WHEN I PREDICT THEIR HOLE CARDS IN MIDHAND. THE
THREE OF HEARTS ON THE RIVER MAKES MY BOAT. THE LUMP DONK BETS THE POT,
I QUICKLY MOVE THE REST OF MY CHIPS IN. HE STARES AT ME AND THEN STARTS
MUTTERING NUMBERS UNDER HIS BREATH. I BARELY HEAR THE WORDS, "ONE
COMBINATION FOR ACES, ONE COMBINATION FOR KINGS, FOUR COMBINATIONS FOR
ACE KING, SIX COMBINATIONS FOR QUEENS..." THE DONKEY STARES AT ME FOR
ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES AND CALLS. I SHOW MY BOAT AND TAKE HIS STACK. THE
PIG TRIED TO MUCK FACE DOWN BUT I INSISTED ON SEEING HIS CARDS. HE HAD
ACE KING OF SPADES. I EXCLAIM, "WHAT DID YOU THINK I HAD? QUEENS?
PIG, YOU HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT TOURMAMENT POKER. NEVER FORGET MY
FACE." OF COURSE, I FINISHED WINNING THE TOURNAMENT IN A FEW HOURS SO
I HEADED OFF TO THE BUFFET. ON MY WAY TO THE BUFFET RESTROOM I PASS BY
THAT FAT LUMP WHO IS STILL EATING MORE EGGROLLS. ONCE INSIDE THE
RESTROOM I GET ATTACKED FROM BEHIND. NO PLAYER HAD EVER ATTACKED ME
JUST BECAUSE I KNOCKED HIM OUT OF A TOURNAMENT. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO
REACT. I TRIED TO DEFEND MYSELF BUT HE WAS SO FAT THAT I COULDN'T GET
HIM OFF ME. HE THEN TORE MY PANTS OFF. I NEED TO TALK DELICATELY HERE.
HE GOT ON TOP OF ME AND REPEATEDLY INSERTED EGGROLLS INTO MY ANATOMY.
"THERE YOU GO, YOUR GAP IS BEING FILLED". WHEN HE WAS DONE, HE SAID
"LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU, LEARN THE GAP CONCEPT AND NEVER FORGET
THE FACE OF DAVID SKLANSKY". I WAS THE ONE WHO REALLY ENDED UP ON
TOP. IT WAS HIS STACK THAT PROPELLED ME TO WIN THE TOURNAMENT AND THE
MONIES. SEE YA AND WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA, YOU DUMB CHUMPS.
[b]HAND VS SCHNEIDS AND POKERBOB[/b]
HEY DEGENERATE SCUMBAGS,
I WOULD LIKE TO MENTION HOW PLEASED I AM WITH THE NEW BILL. THANK YOU
BILL FRIST FOR MAKING MY MONTH OF OCTOBER ESPECIALLY DELIGHTFUL. MANY
OF YOU DUMB PIGS ARE WONDERING WHY I AM SO HAPPY? SIMPLE, WITH THE
DOWNFALL OF SOME OF THE ONLINE GAMBLING SITES, MANY OF YOU DEGENERATE
CHUMPS WILL ACTUALLY HAVE TO FIND JOBS THAT BENEFIT SOCIETY LIKE BAGGIN
MY GROCERIES. SOME OF YOU MAY FIND A WAY TO TEN TABLE THE FIFTY CENT
ONE DOLLAR TABLES FOR FIFTY HOURS A WEEK, YSSCKY. FOR ALL THE OTHER
DUMB LUMPS THAT CANNOT FIND JOBS IN THE REAL WORLD, PLEASE DONT BECOME
A POKER OR BLACKJACK DEALER AT YOUR LOCAL CASINO. THEY ARE ALREADY
FILLED WITH ENOUGH DIM WITTED WORKERS THAT CAN'T DO THEIR JOBS.
SCHNEIDS AND MICROBOB WERE PLAYING AT A $3/6 LIMIT HOLDEM TABLE AT THE
BELLAGIO WITH FIVE PLAYERS. I SAT DOWN AS THE SIXTH PLAYER. YOU WOULD
THINK THAT SCHNEIDS AND POKERBOB WERE AN ITEM BASED ON HOW THEY ACTED
AT THE POKER TABLE. THEY WERE CUDDLING WITH EACH OTHER - IT WAS SO
DISGUSTING I ALMOST THREW UP IN MY MOUTH. I SAW A GLIMPSE INTO THEIR
MAN-BAGS. THEY BOTH HAD A KEY TO THE SAME HOTEL ROOM. THEY WEREN'T ROOM
KEYS TO THE BELLAGIO BUT I AM SURE THEY WERE KEYS TO SOME TWO STAR
HOTEL OUT OF TOWN. UNDER THE GUN RAISES, I VALUE CALL WITH NINE THREE.
SCHNEIDS RERAISES AND POKERBOB CALLS THE THREE COLD. WHAT A BUNCH OF
DUMB LUMPS. ALL THEY ARE DOING IS PUTTING IN MORE MONEY INTO THE POT SO
I WIN MORE WHEN I HIT. UNDER THE GUN RERAISES I CALL AND SCHNEIDS
RERAISES. NEEDLESS TO SAY, ALL THAT RAISING DIDNT GET BOB OUT. I SAY TO
THEM, "HEY DUMB PIGS, THIS ISNT THE USUAL $1/2 LIMIT HOLDEM YOU GUYS
USUALLY PLAY FOR. PEOPLE HERE DONT FOLD TO WEAK RAISES IN LATE
POSITION" I CAN SEE THE SWEAT DRIPPING OFF THEIR CHIN AS THEY
REALIZED THAT I FIGURED THEIR GAMES OUT. THE FLOP IS JACK FOUR THREE.
UNDER THE GUN BETS AND EVERYONE CALLS. THIS IS NOT SURPRISING. THE TURN
IS A SIX. I TELL THE PIGS, "THE FASTER I BUST YOU GUYS THE FASTER YOU
TWO CAN CUDDLE IN YOUR LITTLE HOTEL ROOM AND SIIHP." I THINK THEY GOT
A LITTLE UPSET AT THE COMMENT BECAUSE WHEN IT WAS CHECKED TO SCHNEIDS
HE BET AND POKERBOB TILT RAISED. I CALL THE TWO BETS. SCHNEIDS RERAISED
AND POKERBOB JUST CALLS. I CALL THE THIRD BET. AT THIS POINT I HAVE A
FEELING THAT ONE OF THE TWO DUMB TWOPLUSTWOERS WILL POST THIS IN SOME
FORUM. I AM WILLING TO BET THAT IT WILL BE SLIGHTLY ALTERED TO SAVE
BOTH OF THEM ANY EMBARRASSMENT. THE RIVER IS A NINE, GIVING ME TWO
PAIRS. THE OVER AGGRESSIVE FAT PIG SAYS "I BET FOR VALUETOWN." THE
OTHER PIG FOLDS. I SIT THERE LAUGHING. I SAY "WHAT KIND OF HUMP SAYS
'I BET FOR VALUETOWN.' THAT IS THE DUMBEST PHRASE I HAVE EVER HEARD."
I CALL AND SCHNEIDS SHOWS TEN TEN NOTHING MORE THAN A PAIR OF TENS. I
SAY, "TWO PAIRS, SHIP IT!" I FLIP OVER NINE THREE AND RAKE IN THE
POT. LATER THAT EVENING, I TOOK A WALK ALONG THE STRIP. TWO OBESE MEN
KNOCK ME DOWN, BLINDFOLD ME AND TAKE ME TO SOME ROOM AT A DESERTED
HOTEL. THEY PIN ME DOWN AND PROCEEED TO PULL MY PANTS DOWN TO MY
ANKLES. THIS IS THE DELICATE PART. THEY TAKE TURNS TEABAGGING ME IN THE
FACE AND SAY "HOW DO YOU LIKE THESE TWO PAIRS? WELCOME TO A PLACE WE
LIKE TO CALL VALUETOWN. YOU WILL REMEMBER THE DAY WE SIIYP." NO MAN
SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS. THE INCIDENT LASTED FOR SEVERAL HOURS
UNTIL THEY WERE SATISFIED. WHEN I REGAINED CONCIOUSNESS I WAS ON THE
STRIP. I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS REALLY SATISFIED; I DEPLETED THEIR ROLLS
AT THE $3/6 TABLE. SEE YA AND WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA, YOU DUMB CHUMPS.
[b]HAND VS TEXASLIMITKING[/b]
HEY MAGGOTS,
I SEE TWOPLUSTWOERS STILL DATAMINE HIGH LIMIT GAMES AT ONLINE POKER
SITES. STOP DROOLING ON HOW MUCH PLAYERS LIKE ME MAKE OFF CHUMPS LIKE
YOU. JUST BECAUSE PLAYERS LIKE ME MAKE MORE IN A DAY THAN YOUR MOM AND
DAD MAKE TOGETHER IN A YEAR CLEANING PUBLIC TOILETS DOESNT MEAN YOU
SHOULD FOLLOW US AROUND RECORDING EVERY HAND WE PLAY. ALSO, STOP
POSTING THE HAND HISTORIES ON THE FORUMS, THEY ARE A WASTE OF TIME FOR
SOPHISTICATED PLAYERS AND DUMB PIGS LIKE YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE
LEVEL OF THINKING INVOLVED.
THE BELLAGIO WAS FILLED WITH PLAYERS. I COULD TELL THAT AN INFLUX OF
YOUNG ONLINE PLAYERS POPULATED THE ROOM BECAUSE THE PLACE SMELLED LIKE
ZIT CREAM AND BODY ODOR. GAMES WERE UNUSUALLY SLOW TOO. THOSE UGLY
HUMPS STARED AT THE BELLAGIO COCKTAIL WAITRESSES AS IF THEY HAVE NEVER
SEEN A GIRL UP CLOSE. PEOPLE WERE SAYING THAT A GUY THAT GOES BY THE
ONLINE NAME TEXASLIMITKING WAS TAKING UP HEADSUP CHALLENGES. WELL, I
ALSO HEARD THAT TEXASLIMITKING WAS A TWOPLUSTWOER AND WENT BY THE
MONIKER ALEX123. WHAT A STUPID SCREENNAME, WHY 123? THINK OF SOMETHING
MORE CLEVER, YOU DUMB LUMP. I WAS A BIT SKEPTICAL THAT HE WAS A
TWOPLUSTWOER BUT WHEN I WALKED UP TO HIM, HIS STENCH CONFIRMED IT. I
KNOW THAT CHUMPS LIKE HIM DON'T THINK PAST THE SECOND LEVEL SO I SIT
DOWN TO PLAY WITH HIM. ON THE FIRST HAND I AM DEALT FIVE THREE OFFSUIT.
I RAISE HIS BIG BLIND AND THE HUMP RERAISES. I CALL. I MADE A REQUEST
TO THE DEALER, "HEY, MINIMUM WAGE EARNER, PAIR ME UP ON THE FLOP."
THE FLOP COMES QUEEN FIVE FOUR. TWO OF THEM ARE SPADES. NEITHER OF MY
HOLECARDS ARE SPADES. THE CHUMP CONTINUES BETTING, I RAISE, HE RERAISES
AND I CALL. A TEN OF SPADES COMES ON THE TURN. HE LEADS GAIN WITH A
BET. I CALL. I FIGURE A RAISE WILL JUST MAKE HIM FOLD SO I PREFER TO
LET HIM THROW HIS MONEY AWAY. SOME TWOPLUSTWOERS OUT THERE WILL NOT
UNDERSTAND THAT CONCEPT, JUST ACCEPT IT AS HIGHER LEVEL THINKING THAT
YOU WILL NEVER REACH. THE RIVER IS A SEVEN OF SPADES. HE BETS. I SMELL
A BLUFF IN ADDITION TO SMELLING HIS OVERWHELMING BODY ODOR. USUALLY I
RAISE FOR VALUE BUT I DONT WANT HIM TO CALL WITH SOMETHING LIKE ACE OF
KING HIGH AND THINK I MARKED THE CARDS. I CALL. HE FLIPS OVER HIS KING
JACK OF CLUBS FOR KING HIGH. I TABLE FIVE THREE FOR A PAIR. HE GETS
ENRAGED AND SAYS, "THAT HAND JUST COST YOU MY ACTION." HE GRABS A
CANE FROM AN ELDERLY MAN AT THE TABLE. HE STARTS BEATING ME DOWN WITH
IT. WHILE I'M HALF CONCIOUS, HE STRIPS ME NAKED. IT'S DELICATE TIME. HE
BEGAN PERPETRATING A CARNAL ACT ON ME. BUT, HE NOT ONLY USED HIS
YOU-KNOW-WHAT BUT ALSO USED THE CANE ON ME AS WELL. HE EVEN VIOLATED ME
WITH HIMSELF AND THE CANE AT THE SAME TIME. IT WAS AT THIS MOMENT THAT
HE SAID "THIS BEATING IS THE ONLY ACTION YOU WILL EVER GET OUT OF
ME." NEVERTHELESS, THE POKER ACTION HE GAVE ME WAS ENOUGH FOR ME TO
CASH IN AND STOP PLAYING FOR THE EVENING. SEE YA AND WOULDN'T WANT TO
BE YA, YOU DUMB CHUMPS.
[b]HAND VS MARK[/b]
HEY SWINES,
I AM SO SICK OF ONLINE CHUMPS TAKING SHOTS AT THE HIGHER LIMITS AND
CRYING AFTER LOSING THEIR BUYIN. MORONS, STICK TO THE NORMAL $2-$4
LIMIT GAMES. I KNOW MANY OF YOU ONLINE SCUMBAGS PLAY UNDER ROLLED, LOSE
IT ALL AND THEN PUT ON YOUR BEST MUSIC AND CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP. I
DONT WANT TO HEAR YOUR SOB STORIES OR SEE YOUR DOWNWARDS POKERGRAPHS IN
BBV. CRY ME A RIVER YOU DUMB PIGS.
HERE IS AN ONLINE HAND I PLAYED AGAINST A FRIEND. WE'LL CALL HIM
"MARK" SINCE HE'S SUCH AN EASY TARGET FOR MY SOPHISTICATED POKER
PLAYS. I AM SITTING AT A $100/200 LIMIT HOLDEM TABLE AT PARTYPOKER.
WELL, I AM UNDER THE GUN AND THIS IDIOT SITS DOWN TO MY LEFT WITH THE
MIN BUYIN OF $1000 AND POSTS. HE MUST BE DESPERATE FOR ACTION. I WILL
BE SURE TO GIVE HIM SOME. I TURN THE CHAT BOX BACK TO SUMMARY PLUS
CHAT. I USUALLY LEAVE CHAT OFF SO I DONT HAVE TO READ WHAT THE IDIOTS
AT MY TABLE ARE SAYING WHEN I BEAT THEM. THE DUMB PIG SAYS HELLO TO
SOME OF HIS FRIENDS WHICH AFTER I CONFIRM AS UKNOWN TWOPLUSTWOERS. NO
WONDER I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN KILLING THIS GAME. I AM UTG AND IVE GOT ACE
ACE. I USUALLY DONT LIKE PLAYING THIS CHEESE. I LIMP TO KEEP THE HUMPS
HAPPY. MARK RAISES WITH HIS MINISCULE STACK, EVERYONE FOLDS AND I CALL.
THE FLOP COMES JACK JACK JACK. I TYPE INTO THE CHATBOX, "MARK WHY ARE
YOU PLAYING SUCH HIGH LIMITS? YOU ARE DUMBER THAN YOU LOOK, YOU UGLY
COW. DID YOU INSTACASH FOR THE OTHER $900 SO YOU COULD BUY INTO THIS
GAME?" THE PIG REPLIES TO MY QUESTION THROUGH THE CHAT BOX. HE MUST
BE A SLOW TYPER BECAUSE IT TOOK HIM A WHILE. HE WROTE, "I DECIDED
THAT I WANTED TO PLAY THE PARTY $100/$200 GAME ONCE BEFORE THEY CUTOFF
THE US PLAYERS." IGNORAMACES OF THE ONLINE POKER WORLD DONT KNOW HOW
TO PROPERLY ADJUST TO CHANGE. I BET INTO MARK ON THE ALL JACKS FLOP. I
DECIDED THAT I BETTER NOT SLOW PLAY THIS, FISH LIKE HIM ALWAYS PAY ME
OFF. I THINK THIS INFURIATED HIM BECAUSE HE QUICKLY RAISED. LIKE MOST
TWOPLUSTWOERS HE MISPLAYS THE HAND WHEN FACING A DONK BET. I RERAISED
BECAUSE FASTPLAY IS THE NEW SLOWPLAY. HE CALLS. THE TURN IS AN ACE. I
TYPE INTO THE CHATBOX, "YOU ARE TAKING A SHOT AT THE HIGH LIMITS,
BORED ARE WE? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU KNEW HOW TO PLAY LIMIT HOLDEM."
I THINK HE GOT EVEN MORE STEAMED BECAUSE AFTER I BET HE RAISED AND
RERAISED ME THE LAST OF HIS CHIPS. THE RIVER WAS THE LAST ACE. "JUST
PLAYING MY A GAME" HE TYPES IN. I SHOW MY FOUR OF A KIND ACES. LIKE
AN IDIOT, HE MUST HAVE TURNED OFF AUTO MUCK BECAUSE HE SHOWS ME JACK
TWO OF DIAMONDS. PERHAPS HE WAS TRYING TO ELICIT EMPATHY FOR HIS POOR
PLAY. I TYPE INTO THE CHATBOX "MY AA GAME PWN3D UR A GAME YOU WASTE
OF SKIN." I FALL OUT OF MY CHAIR LAUGHING AT THE "$0" NEXT TO HIS
SCREENNAME. IT'S DELICATE TIME. FOR A FACT, IF HE HAD BEEN IN THE ROOM
WITH ME HE WOULD HAVE PINNED ME DOWN WITH HIS OVERDEVELOPED RUMP AND
SLOWLY VIOLATE ME WITH THE COMPUTER MOUSE. I TOOK SATISFACTION WHEN
CASHING OUT OF PARTYPOKER KNOWING THAT I TOOK HIS WHOLE ROLL. SEE YA
AND WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA, YOU DUMB CHUMPS.
[b]HAND VS MSGLUCK[/b]
TWOPLUSTWO HAS CHANGED FOR THE WORSE. THERE ARE SO MANY USELESS FORUMS
AND THREADS BEING CREATED EVERYDAY THAT ANYONE WITH A LIFE WOULDN'T
HAVE TIME TO SIFT THROUGH ALL THE FORUMS. SOME EXAMPLES ARE THE OTHER
TOPICS SECTION AND NVG. PERHAPS ONE DAY, THE FAT PIGS AT TWOPLUSTWO
WILL UPGRADE THE SEARCH ENGINE INSTEAD OF DESIGNING UGLY SKINS AND
CREATING USELESS FORUMS AND THREADS. A PRIME EXAMPLE OF A WASTE OF A
THREAD IS "ANY QUESTIONS" BY MSGLUCK. THAT THREAD HAS DESPERATE
TWOPLUSTWOERS CHASING AFTER SOME THIRD RATE FEMALE POKER PLAYER. SHE
SHOULD TRY MATCH.COM OR EHARMONY IF SHE NEEDS TO HOOK UP. MSGLUCK, STOP
PLAYING POKER. YOUR SKILLS ARE SUBPAR AND BELONG IN THE KITCHEN MAKING
BISCUITS FROM SCRATCH.
I DISCOVERED HER POOR POKER SKILLS FROM A $80/160 HAND AT COMMERCE.
JUST A BIT OF HISTORY, I HAVE BEEN HITTING SETS WITH MY POCKET PAIRS
AND WON EIGHT OF THE LAST NINE HANDS I PLAYED. NO SURPRISE. I AM ON THE
BUTTON AND AM DEALT TWO TWO. SHE RAISES UNDER THE GUN. ANOTHER PLAYER
RERAISES. I DECIDE TO TEACH THIS SO CALLED POKER PLAYER HOW TO REALLY
PLAY THE GAME AND CALL THREE BETS. I FEEL GOOD AND SAY, "I GOTTA PLAY
MY HOT STREAKS." SHE RERAISES. I CALL. I TELL HER, "RISKING $240 TO
BUST YOU IS NOTHING FOR A HIGH STAKES PLAYER LIKE ME." SHE JUST
LAUGHS AT ME. THE FLOP COMES KING NINE FIVE. SHE BETS. I RAISE HER
SAYING "ACE KING NO GOOD, HONEY" SHE ROLLS HER EYES AND RERAISES
ME. I SMOOTH CALL. THE TURNS BRINGS AN ACE AND SHE BETS INTO ME AGAIN.
I RAISE, SHE RERAISES. I CAP IT. SHE CALLS. I TELL HER, "DON'T
TANGLE WITH ME WHEN I AM RUNNING HOT. YOU WILL GET BURNED" THE RIVER
CARD COMES THE TWO. SHE STUPIDLY BETS INTO ME. NORMALLY I WOULD RAISE
BUT I WANTED TO MAKE SURE SHE HAD SOME EXTRA MONEY TO MAKE SOME
BISCUITS. I KNOW SHE HAD ACE KING SO I FLIP IMMEDIATELY FLIPPED OVER MY
HAND, TWO TWO FOR BOTTOM SET. SHE MUCKS ACE KING FACE UP AND STARTS TO
WHINE. SHE SAYS, "HOW COULD YOU CALL THREE BETS WITH POCKET TWOS?
THAT HAND CANT STAND THAT MUCH HEAT" I EXPLAIN, "I HAD A
FEELING". I TELL HER SHE DOESN'T BELONG IN THE SAME GAME WITH ME.
LATER THAT NIGHT WE BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER IN THE PARKING LOT. IT WAS
DARK AND VISBILITY WAS LOW LIKE NORMAL. I TELL HER SHE SHOULD PROBABLY
BE PLAYING $2-4 OR LOWER IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE HER ENTIRE
BANKROLL. THEN SHE SMACKED ME ACROSS THE HEAD AND KICKED ME IN THE
GROIN. NEXT THING I KNEW SHE HAD ME BENT OVER THE BACK OF A CAR AND WAS
UNDRESSING ME. I'LL HAVE TO PUT THIS NEXT PART DELICATELY - I THEN
DISTINCTLY FELT MYSELF BEING PENATRATED BY A HOT FOREIGN OBJECT. SHE
CONSTANTLY WHISPERS, "DO YOU FEEL IT?" WHEN SHE WAS DONE CERTAIN
PARTS OF MY INNER ANATOMY WAS BURNING. SHE SAYS "WHO'S ON A HOT
STREAK NOW" AND LAUGHED. I GOT THE LAST LAUGH THOUGH. I'VE GOT HER
MONEY. SEE YA WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA, YOU DUMB CHUMPS.
PS THE DUMB MODS AT TWOPLUSTWO DELETED MY THREAD AND BANNED MY ACCOUNT.
THEY MUST BE BITTER THAT I TAKE ALL THEIR MONIES WHEN WE ARE AT THE
TABLE.
I_AM_EVIL
Kills about 7-10 minutes.
The 2nd Amendment........America's TRUE Homeland Security.
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Douglas Dunn
twon...@gmail.com wrote:<stories n stuff>
Is it wrong of me to have read through the whole thing?
Doug
pokerchimp
thumbers on stars, pokerchimp1 on absolute
---
pokerchimp
in a long time.
On Oct 14 2006 9:51 PM, twonines wrote:
thumbers on stars, pokerchimp1 on absolute
----
* kill-files, watch-lists, favorites, and more.. www.recgroups.com
chan0011
the bottom. However, maybe it will get read and re-read, even in caps. lol.
_______________________________________________________________
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XaQ Morphy
<snip a bunch of caps>
Who the fuck is going to read all that? Wait...this is RGP. You'll get
plenty of morons willing to read that. If it has anything to do with
online being rigged, all the idiots will come out to support you. Good
job. I hope you make them go blind.
Morphy
http://donkeymanifesto.blogspot.com
pokerchimp
through the first story and you'll be hooked.
On Oct 15 2006 2:06 PM, XaQ Morphy wrote:
> > HEY ONLINE CHUMPS,
>
> <snip a bunch of caps>
>
> Who the fuck is going to read all that? Wait...this is RGP. You'll get
> plenty of morons willing to read that. If it has anything to do with
> online being rigged, all the idiots will come out to support you. Good
> job. I hope you make them go blind.
>
> Morphy
> http://donkeymanifesto.blogspot.com
thumbers on stars, pokerchimp1 on absolute
____________________________________________________________________
San Te of the 36 Chambers
> Who the fuck is going to read all that? Wait...this is RGP. You'll get
> plenty of morons willing to read that. If it has anything to do with
> online being rigged, all the idiots will come out to support you. Good
> job. I hope you make them go blind.
This guy is a genius. 'There you go, your gap is being filled. Let this
be a lesson to you, learn the gap concept and never forget the face of
David Sklansky.' Hahahahahahaha.
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