Ten Days in the Desert: Day 5 The Matrix Has You
Cambodian Slick
after i posted the report, some of the other guys all got into town
kinda late and came and woke me up to come play poker with them. i
told them about my horrible headache and tried to resist, but you know
how it is. they just hit vegas and were full of gamblin' fever.
anyone who has ever flown in to vegas knows the feeling you get as the
plane taxis up to the gate, that anticipation, that horrible horrible
anxiousness to get into action.
plus josh was seriously geeking out in my room trying to get me to
play backgammon with him on his brand new backgammon board, which he
was showing off to everyone the way a child would show off his new
action figure to an uninterested adult: by playing with it all by
himself hoping someone would see how fun it was and join him. i felt
sorry for josh and figured that if this was what he insisted on doing
if i didnt accompany him to the poker room, i better get up for his
sake.
in the poker room, chonko rob and wayne were all three at the same 3-6
holdem table for some reason, and lo and behold there was an empty
seat. now last year i remember the same thing happening at the mirage
one night, where i went to the mirage after winning about a grand in
the bellagio 15-30 and tried to coax the guys to pry themselves from
the 3-6 just for a couple hours to come eat with me and celebrate my
good fortune. they wouldnt, and instead pleaded with me to sit with
them, just for a little bit, and play. so i bought in for 40 bucks
and within one round of the blinds won 60 and got up. i reminded them
of this incident and told them they were all in a lot of trouble. i
OWN the 3-6 game. im way out of their league. yadda yadda yadda. the
other players at the table were unimpressed with my bragging and im
sure they were all totally excited about taking my money.
the first hand i was dealt a 7-9 offsuit(i posted). shit, isn't that a
group 1 hand? "I raise." i think i got like five callers and one
guy raised two more dollars all in. i asked if i could reraise, and
they said i could complete the bet to 9, so i did. the flop came
10-J-5 rainbow. i checked and said "i still need one card." one guy
bet, and we all called. the turn was the 8, giving me my gutshot
straight. i bet out saying "that was the card." everyone called.
river was a six, and i bet out and said "this pot is mine people."
they all called and i showed the hand. wayne was super pissed and said
"you 3-bet that before the flop?" i just raked in the pot and smiled.
"wayne i told you, i can tilt entire tables."
the next hand i straddled under the gun. i had a 10-6 offsuit. not
much i can do with that, but hell im already in. wayne raised it. a
lot of people called so i figured id call. the flop was a beautaiful
10-6-3. i had the goddamn nuts. i bet out and wayne raised. I
reraised and said "Wayne, you are trailing." the sad thing is there
was a caller in between us. he reraised, and i did too, and the turn
was a 6. i won a huge pot with my full house, then i tipped the
dealer and said "seat open." man, that table was tilted in a big way.
as i walked away, the dealer said "thanks for stopping by." i said
"im going to go to bed now. i OWN the 3-6 game!" im sure wayne went
on to lose all his money. there is no other way the night could have
ended. even the truth couldn't convince me otherwise.
today the cards went in the air for the world series, and i was there
to watch it get kicked off. i have to admit a little bit of shame and
embarassment as friends would walk up and ask me where i was sitting
and i would be forced to tell them i hadn't won a seat. "next year"
they would console me with as they made their way to their tables.
the downstairs satellite area was absolutely banannas at one hour to
go till kickoff. they announced "we've got two more seats in this one
table satellite with 3 minute rounds." i ran over to see the
spectacle of a three minute round satellite, and just as they get
started they announce "we're just about to begin this single table
satellite, blinds increase every hand!" oh my god, i have to see
this. but on my way to that table i see two guys, no shit, playing ONE
HAND for 5 thousand dollars. one hand, thats it. this is bannanas.
this is absolute bannanas.
but all of this insanity just lends itself to the circus that the wsop
has become. my friends at dinner tonight all lamented that it could
all be bad for the world series, that the horseshoe wont be able to
accomodate it if it gets much bigger, or that the best players will
find that the game has changed too much in the big one. i was talking
to a buddy who busted out in 707th and he said that the internet
players who won their seats online seem to have never even played live
poker before, and were calling everything and snapping people off.
just a tilted player on his way to the rail, or is he on to something?
we won't know for a few days, if until next year. but it is true
that this huge crowd is such a spectacle, everyone is just taken
aback. its sublime. truly sublime.
i went to see the matrix reloaded today at the neonopolis. there is
this great fight scene where neo is kicking about two dozen agent
smiths' asses when a beat down agent smith says "more!" and about a
hundred more of them run into the courtyard and surround neo. he
takes this pole and swings around it kicking them all and they pile on
top of him and he starts throwing them into the air... agent smiths
flying this way and that. and neo emerges without so much a scratch.
as im watching it, i cant help but imagine layne flack in the middle
of the horseshoe tournament room, spinning on his pole kicking players
in the face and throwing them in the air. im standing on the rail and
landing all around me are tuna lund's and bob stupak's. as the bodies
hit the floor, layne steps over them to get to the box full of cash.
i read jesse may's report tonight and he says anyone "in the know" has
picked flack to win. i actually have him #8 in my pool, but i am
definetly the farthest thing from "in the know." one thing is for
sure, i hope to hell he's at the final table. he sure knows how to
make a boring ol' poker tournament fun. i remember railbirding the
foxwoods world poker finals last year at 2 in the morning waiting for
them to play down to 6 so they could film the final 6 for the world
poker tour the next day. they were at 11 players and were hand for
hand because the top ten got paid. after forever this one kid finally
busts out, and he's wearing this goofy pink fuzzy kangol hat. drunk
layne, who has been cutting up all night, wanders over to the kids
table where the poor sap just busted out and is reeling from that "on
the bubble" feeling we all know too well and he takes the kid's hat
off and puts it on. he says to the kid "there's no way a hat like
this can be that unlucky twice in a row." and walks back to his seat.
he wore the hat the rest of the night, and i waited for the final
table to air on the travel channel in the hopes that he would be
wearing it, but i guess the poor kid asked for it back.
i spent the evening at the bellagio playing 15-30. the way i had it
figured, anyone who was half-good would be playing in the world
series, so i was a sure thing to beat the game. there was an 86 year
old man at my table named "precious" who couldn't even see the goddamn
cards, and he had to have the dealer read out the flops to him. i
found myself getting totally aggrevated with him, and muttering to
myself "lets go father time, i aint got all night." he had a western
shirt with cards monogrammed on it and a little bag on his walker that
said "sam" that was filled with candy. after a while, i moved into
the seat next to sam because i thought he called a lot and wanted him
to call my raises. eventually, i found myself reading flops to him
and helping him stack his chips and waving down waitresses. it seems
"precious" got his nickname because he is just that, precious. the
asian man sitting next to him on the other side seemed to think so
too, and playfully would tease precious. precious at first was kinda
mean and cold to the asian dude, but the man took it well and didnt
get miffed. at one point after precious won a pot, the asian man said
"good boy" and precious leaned over to me and said "i dont ever
understand a word that man says." i say "he said good boy." precious
turns to him, and i think he's about to say something mean, but he
smiles the most precious smile and says "you a good boy too." in an
asian accent and the two guys put their hands together and share a big
laugh. then precious asks him, in all seriousness, "what language is
that anyway, pollock or greek or something?" "english." and precious
laughs because he really thinks the guy is kidding.
this other guy across from me is some kind of middle eastern and gay
as the day is long, and he's berating every dealer, every cocktail
waitress, every floor person, and every player who gets the misfortune
of sitting next to him in the game. he harasses the waitress for not
bringing him his beer fast enough, then berates the floor man for not
looking at him while he talks to him. when a dealer asks him what he
wants to do, he stares her down and says "is it ok with you if i take
a second to make up my mind? well is it? are you sure? i want to make
sure that you are sure." he asks to see every losing hand. and when
he is forced to show a sorry hand that he won and precious asks me
what he is showing, when i answer precious by telling him "queen-four
off suit" the man corrects me and says "it is not queen four it is the
winning hand." i say "well maybe i cant see well because to me it sure
as shit looked like a queen four" he says "well maybe you cant" and
tries to stare me down. but he must not know that im from arkansas and
we can stare with the best of them. i have visions of myself spinning
around my pole kicking several dozen of this guy in the necks and
throwing them all over the bellagio cardroom. every time he harasses
a dealer, i tip her and tell her she's doing a great job, even if im
not in the hand. and when he asks to see this guy from london's
losing hand, and the guy asks if that is normal, i tell him "no its
not. its actually considered poor manners." and when a new player
would sit next to him and try to make conversation, and the guy would
respond in some totally rude and akward way, id tell them "dont be
alarmed, this guy just isn't very nice." i was totally hoping he
would say something to me, i wanted to punch him in the neck so bad.
but he just gave me the ol' arab stare down some more. one really
funny guy asks him "what, are you from los angeles or something?"
i leave the table about a $200 winner. we go eat at the mirage with
the rest of our crew. they are all in town now except peter. brandon
tells me he almost didnt come out at all, but that my trip reports
made him excited to get out here. im glad for that. on the way to
dinner we pass by a three card monte game outside of caesar's palace.
rob stops to watch. he always does this in new york. he's fascinated
by the hustle. it seems he is just blown away that people actually
pull such an obvious hustle off at all. i think he's right, especially
considering that its a hustle thats over a hundred years old. i ask
him for his camera so i can take a picture of it, and he refuses. hes
convinced the guy will be mad. i seriously dont care, and want my
picture taken with the monte dealer, but rob is a pussy and is afraid
i will put his picture on the internet with some bullshit embarassing
caption (which is probably true). so far i have zero photos to share,
but just give me time. there will be some good ones.
at dinner josh tells us that he has done some "great things" today. i
pressed him to tell us what, and all he can come up with is swimming
and drinking wine in his room. wow. slow down, josh, we have a whole
week to go. you don't want to wear yourself out too soon. but if you
think about it, all he did last year was play poker the entire time.
so i suppose anything that he does that doesnt involve cards or chips
is like a big event worthy of denotation.
at dinner matt and i geeked everyone out by talking about the matrix.
then we walked to his room talking about it, and in the elevator we
were talking about it. two drunk dudes in the elevator wanted to
laugh so bad, but restrained themselves and muttered jokes under their
breath. i imagined myself shoving my hand in their chests and turning
them into clones of me, then walking into the bellagio and saying
"we're here to take back what you took from us..."
AlwaysAware
great report as usual.. careful or Greatbrit will get you banned (out of
jealousy) I mean he already edited you out of his report.
Joan
>I remember railbirding the
Fustanella
*chortle*
Thanks for the great report.
Roswell
year. If you thought it was tough playing hold 'em, imagine playing
STUD with him. "What is he showing?" "Well Precious, he's got 6 7 8 J,
with the seven and eight of clubs, and the jack is a heart, and it's
40 to you now..." etc. etc.
I have to say he was the sweetest old guy in the world though.
By the way, are you an NYC player? My name is Matt, I used to play at
the playstation. You are name-dropping many NYCers like the Hanleys
and Mike May. Did Mike get in the 10K?
John Harkness
> breif codicil to day 4 report:
> >
> much i can do with that, but hell im already in. wayne raised it. a
> lot of people called so i figured id call. the flop was a beautaiful
> 10-6-3. i had the goddamn nuts.
No, you didn't.
Good report, otherwise.
John Harkness
Peter Lizak
Word, this report is the highlight of my day!
I love the matrix comments. But imagine sitting at a table playing no
limit with 9 Johnny Chans or 9 Phil Hellmuths, that would be like holding
the idiot end of a straight.
pli
(Sorry to top post)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Lizak
pli...@math.uwaterloo.ca
Scientific Computing Lab, University of Waterloo
Brian Court
You're reports are great and your take on Layne Flack is right on the
money. If he's not the funniest man in poker, Sam Grizzle is, good luck
to you the rest of your trip.
Brian C
Marcstar
These should be saved and printed in card player or something.
_________________________________________________________________
Posted using RecPoker.com - http://www.recpoker.com
Wade C
in the early to mid-nineties. Play solid poker at levels above 15-30 .. and
could see the cards, and hear. All the dealers knew him, even then.
"Cambodian Slick" <sp...@ureach.com> wrote in message
news:72056a57.03051...@posting.google.com...
AJohn808
(snip 200 lines of quoted text followed by Brians 2 sentence reply)
Brian. Why do you do this? Are you just lazy or what?
Bahnzo
m23.aol.com:
>>From: tuxe...@aol.com (Brian Court)
>
> (snip 200 lines of quoted text followed by Brians 2 sentence reply)
>
> Brian. Why do you do this? Are you just lazy or what?
>
He's an AOL user, might not know any better......please people, quoting 200
lines of text is simply stupid and not needed.
Peter Lizak
You can top post if you're gonna quote the 200 lines.
David
LOL... I thought that was a Lord of the Rings reference.... a good
name for an old wrinkly geezer.
On 20 May 2003 00:23:51 -0700, sp...@ureach.com (Cambodian Slick)
wrote:
Brian Court
> >From: tuxe...@aol.com (Brian Court)
>
> (snip 200 lines of quoted text followed by Brians 2 sentence reply)
>
> Brian. Why do you do this? Are you just lazy or what?
Of course I'm lazy, I'm a poker player. Also I'm not an internet geek
and didn't see I was doing wrong. Sorry won't happen again.
Brian C
Peg Smith
<kta...@SPAMSUCKS.4dv.net> writes:
>He's an AOL user, might not know any better......please people, quoting 200
>lines of text is simply stupid and not needed.
Two of the people who complained about it (ajohn and me) are AOL users.
Peg