Yes John, that's true, and you did this to yourself, while people
begged you to stop for years. You *killed* your nursing career with
your own big mouth. That's the simple truth.
You will never get a nursing job again, anywhere, so you are
effectively no longer a nurse. But you are *still* listed as having
a valid, active license in Missouri. That won't change until *you*
force the issue.
It's sort of like the spire gas thing you went through. You have to
call them, Identify yourself, and demand you are no longer a
registered nurse and wish your license be completely revoked.
They won't dig up the evil gas pipes in your mind, but they can
remove your license if you demand it. It's the best thing for you.
You can move on to a better, more healthy life.
Good luck, and do come back when your mind clears.