hot pockets (TM)

[tert in seattle]

technically hot pockets are on topic because they need to be microwaved

I am only very recently woke to hot pockets because I was reading an
interview with Jim Gaffigan and they had a youtube video of his hot pockets
routine embedded in the article

I asked my sister if she every tried them and she said they're good

but Jim Gaffigan describes them as "let's take a pop tart and fill it
with some nasty meat"

and "they make vegetarian hot pockets for people who don't eat meat
but still want the diarrhea"

so I'm just looking for other reviews here but I'm afraid I'll have
to try them myself because I'm really curious now

my sister says she likes the cheese hot pockets

[Terry Coombs]

  The ham-n-cheese ones were good . Haven't had one in years , they
might not be as good as they once were ...

--
Snag
Yes , I'm old
and crochety - and armed .
Get outta my woods !

[jmcquown]

Jim Gaffigan is a hoot!

I used to buy the Ham & Cheddar Hot Pockets to microwave as a quick
lunch at work. IIRC they come with a crisping sleeve. I never did care
for the pepperoni ones that pretended to be pizza. I've heard of 'Lean
Pockets' (vegetables and sauce in a crust?) but have not tried them. No
interest.

I haven't bought a Hot Pocket in a very long time. I wouldn't recommend
you waste your money.

Jill

[dsi1]

You are curious about the world and that's a good thing. Don't listen to what other people have to say about Hot Pockets - find out for yourself. I like Patton Oswalt's shtick about KFC's Famous Bowl. I find that Famous Bowls suits my style - it's like a TV dinner piled in a plastic bowl.

https://www.esquire.com/food-drink/food/a17984/patton-oswalt-sadness-bowl/

[Julie Bove]

"tert in seattle" <te...@ftupet.com> wrote in message
news:q5rn5a$8l9$1...@ftupet.ftupet.com...

I bought them once many years ago. Nobody liked them. Perhaps a year or so
ago I bought the breakfast ones with eggs inside. They were on sale for
cheap. Again, nobody liked them. I actually don't know anyone who likes
them. Who eats these things?

[Dave Smith]

On 2019-03-07 5:11 p.m., Julie Bove wrote:
>

>> I asked my sister if she every tried them and she said they're good
>>
>> but Jim Gaffigan describes them as "let's take a pop tart and fill it
>> with some nasty meat"
>>
>> and "they make vegetarian hot pockets for people who don't eat meat
>> but still want the diarrhea"
>>
>> so I'm just looking for other reviews here but I'm afraid I'll have
>> to try them myself because I'm really curious now
>>
>> my sister says she likes the cheese hot pockets
>
> I bought them once many years ago. Nobody liked them. Perhaps a year or
> so ago I bought the breakfast ones with eggs inside. They were on sale
> for cheap. Again, nobody liked them. I actually don't know anyone who
> likes them. Who eats these things?

Even the Bove family doesn't like them??? Imagine that.

[graham]

More to the point, she bought them a second time and they still didn't
like them.

[jmcquown]

"On sale for cheap" seems to be a recurring theme. Even if no one likes
whatever it is, at least it was cheap.

Jill

[Bruce]

On Thu, 7 Mar 2019 18:00:21 -0500, jmcquown <j_mc...@comcast.net>
wrote:

Would you rather pay a lot for something you don't like?

[Dave Smith]

It boggles the mind.

[Ed Pawlowski]

On 3/7/2019 5:11 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>
> "tert in seattle" <te...@ftupet.com> wrote in message
> news:q5rn5a$8l9$1...@ftupet.ftupet.com...
>> technically hot pockets are on topic because they need to be microwaved

>

> I bought them once many years ago. Nobody liked them. Perhaps a year or
> so ago I bought the breakfast ones with eggs inside. They were on sale
> for cheap. Again, nobody liked them. I actually don't know anyone who
> likes them. Who eats these things?

I used to keep some in the freezer at work. Acceptable in a pinch. I
tried them about 6 months ago and though they were terrible. Either I
changed or they changed but now would not touch them.

[Ophelia]

"Julie Bove" wrote in message news:q5s4vk$s60$1...@dont-email.me...

==

Tert's sister? ;p

[Bruce]

On Fri, 8 Mar 2019 11:26:51 -0000, "Ophelia" <OphEl...@gmail.com>
wrote:

And Cartman in Southpark:
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ust_Er_oX5A>

[Ophelia]

"Bruce" wrote in message news:5nj58e5jstdt580pl...@4ax.com...

==

lol

[tert in seattle]

and others have confessed elsewhere in the thread

I don't usually go down that aisle in the grocery store so I may forget
to buy some unless I put them on my list

[Ophelia]

"tert in seattle" wrote in message news:q5ul9g$9ra$1...@ftupet.ftupet.com...

==

:)) if you enjoy them, why not? :))

[Julie Bove]

"graham" <g.st...@shaw.ca> wrote in message
news:q5s715$61s$1...@dont-email.me...

I believe the egg ones were a new product.

[Julie Bove]

"jmcquown" <j_mc...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:gohgE.1189$sl7...@fx26.iad...

Yes. I generally don't buy stuff like that unless someone requests it, or it
is cheap. I no longer have asst. people in and out of my house. When I did,
and they wanted a snack, chances were good that one of them might eat it.
They wouldn't eat those though.

[jmcquown]

Not really. Maybe new to where you shop for things no one winds up liking.

Jill

[Julie Bove]

"Ed Pawlowski" <e...@snet.xxx> wrote in message
news:1fkgE.31837$X06....@fx27.iad...

That's what happened here. The boxes said "New and Improved".

Dominos pizza used to be terrible. When I lived in NY, it was a staple at
kid's parties. I couldn't believe it because we were surrounded by good
pizza and every place delivered. After I heard a boy comment, "Pizza
again?", at one such party, I vowed never to have pizza at a party. I
ordered Chinese food. Angela's party was a hit. We did everything Asian and
even gave out fancy chopsticks for the kids to take home.

Dominos has since changed their pizza. It still isn't the best but it's the
best that we can get delivered in this area. IMO, there is no truly
excellent pizza here unless you make it yourself.

[Dave Smith]

I believe that would be a variation of a product that nobody liked.

[Dave Smith]

On 2019-03-08 7:44 p.m., Julie Bove wrote:
>
> "jmcquown" <j_mc...@comcast.net> wrote in message

>> "On sale for cheap" seems to be a recurring theme.  Even if no one
>> likes whatever it is, at least it was cheap.
>
> Yes. I generally don't buy stuff like that unless someone requests it,
> or it is cheap. I no longer have asst. people in and out of my house.
> When I did, and they wanted a snack, chances were good that one of them
> might eat it. They wouldn't eat those though.

I can understand buying something you like when it is on sale. I just
see the economy in buying something that no one will eat.

[Bruce]

You do?

[Julie Bove]

"jmcquown" <j_mc...@comcast.net> wrote in message

news:G3EgE.7473$hz....@fx44.iad...

That could be. The only ones I was familiar with were he pizza ones.

[Julie Bove]

"Dave Smith" <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:HgGgE.7840$MI5....@fx34.iad...

They didn't like the pizza ones. At the time, anything I bought with egg was
being eaten like mad. So I bought those.

[Julie Bove]

"Dave Smith" <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message

news:OiGgE.7899$MI5....@fx34.iad...

I had never bought that kind before. How would I know no one would eat them?

[Julie Bove]

"Bruce" <br...@invalid.invalid> wrote in message
news:ojd68elhbsvdqh3dn...@4ax.com...

Hehehe. Good call! I missed the missing word. I think Dave has been making
moonshine with his oakmilk!

[Bruce]

LOL

[Dave Smith]

On 2019-03-09 4:40 a.m., Julie Bove wrote:
>
> "Dave Smith" <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message

>>> I believe the egg ones were a new product.
>>
>> I believe that would be a variation of a product that nobody liked.
>
> They didn't like the pizza ones. At the time, anything I bought with egg
> was being eaten like mad. So I bought those.

Given the history of your family's dislikes there would seem to be about
an 90% chance they aren't going to like anything new. Combine that with
the unexpected dislike of the other hot pocket I don't know what would
possess you to think they would like the the new product that was on
sale cheap, and likely because they were bad and no one was buying them.

[Dave Smith]

There was no missing word.

[jmcquown]

Dave, she said anything she bought at the time with egg was being eaten
"like mad". Uh huh. I don't remember anything in her house being eaten
like mad.

The Breakfast version of Hot Pockets also contains sausage or bacon and
always something they call 'real cheese'. I looked them up:

https://www.hotpockets.com/en/products/breakfast

It's apparently a cheap, quick fix freezer thing.

I think she tried to pass some Hot Pockets off to her gardener when he
first arrived on the scene. Heh.

Jill

[jmcquown]

On 3/9/2019 10:15 AM, Dave Smith wrote:
>>>> I can understand buying something you like when it is on sale.  I just
>>>> see the economy in buying something that no one will eat.
>>>
>>> You do?
>>
>> Hehehe. Good call! I missed the missing word. I think Dave has been
>> making moonshine with his oakmilk!
>
> There was no missing word.

Yeah, there was Dave. The missing word is *don't*. You "don't see the

economy in buying something that no one will eat."

Now they're just messing with you.

Jill

[Dave Smith]

Well Jill, I was not too surprised that Julie and her idiot Australian
cousin missed the point. It defeats the purpose to insert something to
denote the sarcasm.

[Bruce]

On Sat, 9 Mar 2019 10:15:24 -0500, Dave Smith

<adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:

>On 2019-03-09 4:42 a.m., Julie Bove wrote:
>>
>> "Bruce" <br...@invalid.invalid> wrote in message
>> news:ojd68elhbsvdqh3dn...@4ax.com...
>>> On Fri, 8 Mar 2019 22:21:20 -0500, Dave Smith
>>> <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>>>
>>>> On 2019-03-08 7:44 p.m., Julie Bove wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> "jmcquown" <j_mc...@comcast.net> wrote in message
>>>>
>>>>>> "On sale for cheap" seems to be a recurring theme. Even if no one
>>>>>> likes whatever it is, at least it was cheap.
>>>>>
>>>>> Yes. I generally don't buy stuff like that unless someone requests it,
>>>>> or it is cheap. I no longer have asst. people in and out of my house.
>>>>> When I did, and they wanted a snack, chances were good that one of them
>>>>> might eat it. They wouldn't eat those though.
>>>>
>>>> I can understand buying something you like when it is on sale.  I just
>>>> see the economy in buying something that no one will eat.
>>>
>>> You do?
>>
>> Hehehe. Good call! I missed the missing word. I think Dave has been
>> making moonshine with his oakmilk!
>
>There was no missing word.

He can't see it :)

[Julie Bove]

"jmcquown" <j_mc...@comcast.net> wrote in message

news:m0RgE.65538$Z%1.6...@fx40.iad...

Yep.

[Julie Bove]

"Dave Smith" <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message

news:rKQgE.32718$Mr6....@fx15.iad...

Okay, then a letter and an apostrophe.

[Julie Bove]

"Bruce" <br...@invalid.invalid> wrote in message

news:gl188e19iqvv42mje...@4ax.com...

Yeah. My sides are about to split with laughter.

[tert in seattle]

I bought the ham and cheese hot pockets this weekend and tried them
with my kids. Actually one of my kids wouldn't even touch them. I cooked
them in the oven because I was making baked potatoes anyway. I'm not
sure how you can screw up ham and cheese but they taste like plastic.
The pastry was okay - it was the "flaky croissant crust" version. I could
only eat three bites. The kid who was brave enough to try them could only
eat two bites. The rest got composted.

http://www.ftupet.com/upload/hotpockets.jpg

[Ophelia]

"tert in seattle" wrote in message news:q663i9$2f0$1...@ftupet.ftupet.com...

>
>:)) if you enjoy them, why not? :))


I bought the ham and cheese hot pockets this weekend and tried them
with my kids. Actually one of my kids wouldn't even touch them. I cooked
them in the oven because I was making baked potatoes anyway. I'm not
sure how you can screw up ham and cheese but they taste like plastic.
The pastry was okay - it was the "flaky croissant crust" version. I could
only eat three bites. The kid who was brave enough to try them could only
eat two bites. The rest got composted.

http://www.ftupet.com/upload/hotpockets.jpg

==

Oh, that's a shame:( The idea of them sounds so good!!!

I suppose with a nice pastry with good cheese and ham, they would be really
nice.

You could make your own and show everyone what they could be!

[tert in seattle]

yes, an actual ham and cheese croissant would be just the thing

[Sqwertz]

On Mon, 11 Mar 2019 16:49:13 +0000 (UTC), tert in seattle wrote:

> I bought the ham and cheese hot pockets this weekend and tried them
> with my kids. Actually one of my kids wouldn't even touch them. I cooked
> them in the oven because I was making baked potatoes anyway. I'm not
> sure how you can screw up ham and cheese but they taste like plastic.
> The pastry was okay - it was the "flaky croissant crust" version. I could
> only eat three bites. The kid who was brave enough to try them could only
> eat two bites. The rest got composted.
>
> http://www.ftupet.com/upload/hotpockets.jpg

I had to read the first 1/3rd of those ingredients 3 times, and I
still fail to see any pork in that "ham" other than "dehydrated pork
broth".

And then I couldn't tell where the "cheese" ended. Has anybody
every tried to un-nest all those parenthesis and brackets?

I didn't like them 34 years ago, haven't had any since, and I kinda
doubt they've gotten even better.

Igor's Beef and Cheese Piroshski were my thing. They were a
Northern California food, even sold in bulk at Price Club and Costco
for 4-5 years. Until Ore-Ida bought them and buried them.

-sw

[tert in seattle]

sqwe...@gmail.invalid writes:
>On Mon, 11 Mar 2019 16:49:13 +0000 (UTC), tert in seattle wrote:
>
>> I bought the ham and cheese hot pockets this weekend and tried them
>> with my kids. Actually one of my kids wouldn't even touch them. I cooked
>> them in the oven because I was making baked potatoes anyway. I'm not
>> sure how you can screw up ham and cheese but they taste like plastic.
>> The pastry was okay - it was the "flaky croissant crust" version. I could
>> only eat three bites. The kid who was brave enough to try them could only
>> eat two bites. The rest got composted.
>>
>> http://www.ftupet.com/upload/hotpockets.jpg
>
>I had to read the first 1/3rd of those ingredients 3 times, and I
>still fail to see any pork in that "ham" other than "dehydrated pork
>broth".

in third place after "enriched flour" and "water" comes "fully cooked
ham and water product" - what's in the parens starts with "cured with.."
and includes the dehydrated pork broth - which just sounds weird no
matter what

>And then I couldn't tell where the "cheese" ended.

it ends right before the palm oil

what I want to know is, what does "ingredients not in regular cheddar
cheese" mean here?

[Julie Bove]

"tert in seattle" <te...@ftupet.com> wrote in message

news:q663i9$2f0$1...@ftupet.ftupet.com...

Ayup.

[Ophelia]

"tert in seattle" wrote in message news:q66ig5$89a$1...@ftupet.ftupet.com...

==

Oh yes:) I just don't see why that wouldn't taste as good in a 'pocket',
that is if the 'pocket' tasted good too.

[col...@gmail.com]

On Thursday, March 7, 2019 at 1:20:04 PM UTC-5, tert in seattle wrote:
> technically hot pockets are on topic because they need to be microwaved
>
> I am only very recently woke to hot pockets because I was reading an
> interview with Jim Gaffigan and they had a youtube video of his hot pockets
> routine embedded in the article
>
> I asked my sister if she every tried them and she said they're good
>
> but Jim Gaffigan describes them as "let's take a pop tart and fill it
> with some nasty meat"
>
> and "they make vegetarian hot pockets for people who don't eat meat
> but still want the diarrhea"
>
> so I'm just looking for other reviews here but I'm afraid I'll have
> to try them myself because I'm really curious now
>
> my sister says she likes the cheese hot pockets

When I was a kid we had old english black breasted red game bantams.

[col...@gmail.com]

I posted this in the egg thread

[Gary]

Ophelia wrote:
>
> Oh yes:) I just don't see why that wouldn't taste as good in a 'pocket',
> that is if the 'pocket' tasted good too.

Definitely. I had the chicken, broccoli, and cheese one.
I'm thinking to make that in a pita pocket.
Might be good but maybe a crust for a meat pie
might be a better choice.

Same with ham and cheese next time I cook a ham.
(It's been a few years since I cooked a ham)

Do you ever cook meat pies? What do you use?

[Ophelia]

"Gary" wrote in message news:5C87C77A...@att.net...

==

I always make Rough Puff Pastry

Simple really. I mix chunks of butter (or lard) into flour and salt.
Knead it a bit then turn it out and do the same folding thing you use for
puff pastry.

I allow it to rest in the fridge and roll it out:) I like it much better
than Puff pastry.

It work great for pasties or whatever you call yours oh and it's good for
stuff like sausage rolls.

You know, that type of thing. It's great as a topping for meat etc pies too
:))

[Bruce]

On Tue, 12 Mar 2019 06:16:12 -0700 (PDT), col...@gmail.com wrote:

>I posted this in the egg thread

You could have fooled me.

[jmcquown]

She undoubtedly makes her own crust if she makes steak and kidney pie. ;)

Jill

[tert in seattle]

is it "rough" because you mix the butter in with the flour and salt rather
than fold it in to the dough?

[Ophelia]

"tert in seattle" wrote in message news:q68qgr$36a$2...@ftupet.ftupet.com...

==

I suppose so. It is much easier and faster too:))) I haven't made real
puff pastry for eons.

I started making rough puff in my early 20s and I am still doing so:))

I still have my Bero book, but it is just about falling to bits <g>

This is mine

https://www.ebay.co.uk/i/192850355084?chn=ps

Bero Rough Puff Pastry

http://www.be-ro.co.uk/Be-Ro/media/downloads/Be-Ro_website_recipes.pdf

Ingredients
225 g (8 oz) Be-Ro Plain Flour
a pinch of salt
100 ml (4 fl oz) water
150 g (5 oz) lard and margarine, mixed
cold water to mix

Preparation Instructions
1. Mix flour and salt, add fat cut into small pieces.
2. Stir in with a knife (do not rub in). Mix to a stiff dough with water.
3. Roll out on a floured surface to a narrow strip.
4. Fold in three, give a quarter turn so one of the open ends is towards you
and roll out again. Do this
three times in all.
5. Cover pastry and leave to rest (about 15 minutes) then roll into desired
shape.
6. In hot weather allow pastry to rest for 20-30 minutes in a refrigerator
or cool place before use.
NB: Always take care to roll away from you and do not break the air bubbles
that will rise.

I use butter or lard, it tastes better.

[dsi1]

That's some interesting stuff. I like books which are primers of the basics of cooking. Most Americans are unfamiliar with rough pastry. The usual suspcts of rfc will deny that truth vigorously but that's just what they do. Anyway, thanks!:)

[Ophelia]

"dsi1" wrote in message
news:5ec41fa8-b7aa-4844...@googlegroups.com...

==

You are very welcome:)) I had never expected anyone else here would be
interested:)

[Bruce]

You'd get into less trouble if you limited your blanket statements to
Hawaiians, them being people that you actually know well. Unless you
like trouble, of course. Then everything goes.

[barbie gee]

On Thu, 7 Mar 2019, tert in seattle wrote:

> technically hot pockets are on topic because they need to be microwaved
>
> I am only very recently woke to hot pockets because I was reading an
> interview with Jim Gaffigan and they had a youtube video of his hot pockets
> routine embedded in the article
>
> I asked my sister if she every tried them and she said they're good
>
> but Jim Gaffigan describes them as "let's take a pop tart and fill it
> with some nasty meat"
>
> and "they make vegetarian hot pockets for people who don't eat meat
> but still want the diarrhea"
>
> so I'm just looking for other reviews here but I'm afraid I'll have
> to try them myself because I'm really curious now
>
> my sister says she likes the cheese hot pockets

I would rate them "meh".

Tasty enough, and easy enough, but nothing I'd buy on a routine basis.

[dsi1]

On Tuesday, March 12, 2019 at 9:00:03 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> You are very welcome:)) I had never expected anyone else here would be
> interested:)

I will check out the rough pastry, it looks like it could be interesting. I'll try making a French style tart with it. That should work, right?

[dsi1]

I can make blanket statements about America because I am an American and have lived on the mainland. Your qualifications don't seem so sterling. Why the heck do you think you know so much about Americans? You seem to have found all your knowledge about us from comic books.

Of course, common sense tells us that people that have not lived in Hawaii shouldn't make blanket statements about the Hawaiians - it seems that they've found all their knowledge of Hawaii on cans of fruit punch and Maui style potato chips.

[Bruce]

Do I? RFC is a selection of people. For instance, here most Americans
are older and don't mind all the chemical additions to food. They see
that as one of the advances of post-war science and eat it all
happily. But I know that there's also a big health movement in the US.
People who wouldn't touch those science projects. They're just not in
RFC very much.

Same with animal welfare. There are lots of Americans who care about
other animals than pets, but the old RFC folk don't. My prejudices are
more about RFC Americans than about Americans in general.

>You seem to have found all your knowledge about us from comic books.

Lol, I've hardly ever read any American comic books. Maybe Batman a
bit. Do you wear a cape?

>Of course, common sense tells us that people that have not lived in Hawaii shouldn't make blanket statements about the Hawaiians - it seems that they've found all their knowledge of Hawaii on cans of fruit punch and Maui style potato chips.

I have most of my knowledge of Hawaiians from you. Before RFC, I knew
as little about Hawaii as about Haiti or Guadeloupe.

[Ophelia]

"dsi1" wrote in message
news:aadf17bf-2445-4f49...@googlegroups.com...

==

I use it for everything and anything:) It's they only one I like:)) I am
not sure what a French style tart is, but I hope it works:)

Use it like you would Puff pastry.

Good luck:)

[dsi1]

I've never made puff pastry. Rough pastry seem like an easy way to make something sorta like puff pastry. A French style tart would look something like this although my daughter made it, not I. She used almond flour to make the crust.

https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/NQ-F-UUEQne5EAhqLQOSBA.nfpih7MGaXVxjGgd5INpL6

[Ophelia]

"dsi1" wrote in message
news:2ca33258-7acb-46eb...@googlegroups.com...

==

Oh that looks lovely :) Yes I think Rough Puff pastry would work well for
that:))

[Gary]

Thank you for that. Recipe sounds just like making a flaky crust
for any fruit pies or pot pies.

[Ophelia]

"Gary" wrote in message news:5C890AE0...@att.net...

==

Yes, it is flaky but not so much as Puff pastry. TBH I am not too keen on
that.

[Gary]

dsi1 wrote:
>
> I've never made puff pastry. Rough pastry seem like an easy way to make something sorta like puff pastry. A French style tart would look something like this although my daughter made it, not I. She used almond flour to make the crust.
> https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/NQ-F-UUEQne5EAhqLQOSBA.nfpih7MGaXVxjGgd5INpL6

That looks super delicious.
I actually think that "tart" has a separate, distinct name. We
discussed that style here a few years ago. I was impressed then
and made an apple version. I remember SF(tm) either made it or
asked about it.