Trainwreck Chili
the.s...@gmail.com
'cookin' in brooklyn' on the discovery home channel...
chef alan harding was making chili, and it just looked god awful...
here is proof it exists:
http://home.discovery.com/fansites/cookininbrooklyn/recipes/chili.html
and here is the damage:
4-5 strips of bacon
Lots of black pepper shakes
1 package ground beef
1/2-1 lb. frozen turkey
2 onions
1 bell pepper
1 fennel
1-2 carrots
1/2 eggplant
2/3 tsp. curry powder
2 Tbsp. crushed red pepper
1-2 Tbsp. dried rosemary
1-2 Tbsp. adobo seasoning
5-7 garlic cloves
3 Tbsp. fig jam
1/2 cup yellow mustard
1-2 Tbsp. Thai chili sauce
1-2 Tbsp. hungarian paprika
1/2 cup barbecue sauce
1/3 jar of pickles (with juice!)
1 Poblano chili
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 Tbsp. salt
1/3 cup spaghetti sauce
1/2 pint of beer
1/2-1 cup rice
1 handful of baby arugula
2/3 cup cherry tomatoes
1 small package of crushed pork rinds
1 handful of cilantro
unlimited pepper jack cheese
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
1 can kidney beans
1 can pinto beans
To begin, pan-fry the bacon while adding black pepper to your liking.
While the bacon is cooking, start slicing your vegetables. Cut your
bell pepper, fennel, onions and carrots - trying to keep them all
relatively equal in size. Make sure the vegetables are cut and ground
through the food processor by the time the meat is ready. Grind your
vegetables carefully; they should be coarse and varying in size. Slice
the eggplant and Poblano chili and put those through the processor as
well.
After the bacon has cooked, add some of the frozen ground turkey to the
left over bacon fat. Simmer the turkey in the fat, keeping the turkey
one level across so it cooks evenly. Sprinkle on some more cracked
black pepper as the turkey cooks. Add your fresh ground beef and a good
amount of salt to the ground turkey once it's thawed. Sprinkle some
cinnamon and cayenne pepper, as well as paprika, crushed red pepper,
adobo seasoning, dried rosemary and curry powder to the cooking meat.
Next, add vegetables to the ground meat. Mix the vegetables throughout
the meat, allowing them to brown slightly. While the content's cooking,
add pinto beans (sauce included) and kidney beans to the pot.
For the sauce, combine some garlic cloves, fig jam, mustard, Thai
sauce, barbecue sauce, pickles (sauce included), brown sugar and
spaghetti sauce. Puree the mixture in the blender thoroughly and add
the finished product to the chili. Pour a half-pint of beer into the
chili and allow it to simmer on a medium flame for about an hour. Add
the rice and arugula, and finally some cherry tomatoes and crushed pork
rinds. Stir evenly and serve with cilantro, pepper jack cheese and
bacon bits on the side.
it makes me want to drop to one knee
and weep openly,
and deeply
for all of humanity
-matt
Wayne Boatwright
> i was watching
> 'cookin' in brooklyn' on the discovery home channel...
> chef alan harding was making chili, and it just looked god awful...
> here is proof it exists:
>
> http://home.discovery.com/fansites/cookininbrooklyn/recipes/chili.html
I'd say it's ready for the composter.
--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
_____________________________
Meet Mr. Bailey
Dee Randall
"Wayne Boatwright" <wayne...@waynes.gang> wrote in message
news:Xns96F6B3F2E1...@217.22.228.19...
> On Fri 21 Oct 2005 05:33:14p, wrote in rec.food.cooking:
>
>> i was watching
>> 'cookin' in brooklyn' on the discovery home channel...
>> chef alan harding was making chili, and it just looked god awful...
>> here is proof it exists:
>>
>> http://home.discovery.com/fansites/cookininbrooklyn/recipes/chili.html
>
> I'd say it's ready for the composter.
>
> --
> Wayne Boatwright *¿*
I agree with you, Wayne. Pretty god awful. But I'll bet you didn't get any
further down the ingredients list than TURKEY!!!
LOL - Dee Dee
Wayne Boatwright
You are absolutely right, Dee. :-)
--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
the.s...@gmail.com
i think your eyes would have derailed
once you got to 'crushed pork rinds'.
fig jam?
a jar of pickles with juice?
so many things wrong with this chili.
i will say
cookin' in brooklyn,
is usually a good program.
-m
Wayne Boatwright
> wayne,
>
> i think your eyes would have derailed
> once you got to 'crushed pork rinds'.
Matt, I have to admit that happened when I got to eggplant! On the first
read, I didn't go any further.
Actually, the pork rinds ("chicharrones" in Mexico) might not be all that
bad an addition. I have eaten them (not crisp fried) in a red chili sauce
in Mexican restaurants and they are quite good.
> fig jam?
>
> a jar of pickles with juice?
Heh! Jam and pickles is just going too far, as are most of the other
disparate ingredients.
Sounds like this "chef" was cleaning out the fridge.
> so many things wrong with this chili.
A crime against humanity! :-)
> i will say
> cookin' in brooklyn,
> is usually a good program.
I was unfamiliar with the program, but I checked out the website and there
are some very tasty offerings there.
Cheers!
the.s...@gmail.com
kilikini
"Wayne Boatwright" <wayne...@waynes.gang> wrote in message
> On Fri 21 Oct 2005 05:44:58p, Dee Randall wrote in rec.food.cooking:
>
> >
> > "Wayne Boatwright" <wayne...@waynes.gang> wrote in message
> > news:Xns96F6B3F2E1...@217.22.228.19...
> >> On Fri 21 Oct 2005 05:33:14p, wrote in rec.food.cooking:
> >>
> >>> i was watching
> >>> 'cookin' in brooklyn' on the discovery home channel...
> >>> chef alan harding was making chili, and it just looked god awful...
> >>> here is proof it exists:
> >>>
> >>> http://home.discovery.com/fansites/cookininbrooklyn/recipes/chili.html
> >>
> >> I'd say it's ready for the composter.
> >>
> >> --
> >> Wayne Boatwright *¿*
> >
> > I agree with you, Wayne. Pretty god awful. But I'll bet you didn't get
> > any further down the ingredients list than TURKEY!!!
> > LOL - Dee Dee
>
> You are absolutely right, Dee. :-)
>
That's as far as I got, too. :~)
kili
Nancy Young
"Dee Randall" <deed...@shentel.net> wrote
> "Wayne Boatwright" <wayne...@waynes.gang> wrote
> I agree with you, Wayne. Pretty god awful. But I'll bet you didn't get
> any further down the ingredients list than TURKEY!!!
> LOL - Dee Dee
Even then, the sheer number of ingredients would turn me off,
never mind that it's a conglomeration of mismatched whatever.
I'm no chili purist by a long shot, but can you imagine if Modom
comes around and lays eyes on this recipe?? He'll blow a gasket!
(laugh)
nancy
rosie
Even then, the sheer number of ingredients would turn me off,
never mind that it's a conglomeration of mismatched whatever.
I'm no chili purist by a long shot, but can you imagine if Modom
comes around and lays eyes on this recipe?? He'll blow a gasket!
(laugh)
nancy
nancy, I betcha if you read the whole list, that it has grape jelly and
chili sauce in it too...
Rosie
Nancy Young
"rosie" <RMi10...@aol.com> wrote
> Even then, the sheer number of ingredients would turn me off,
> never mind that it's a conglomeration of mismatched whatever.
>
> I'm no chili purist by a long shot, but can you imagine if Modom
> comes around and lays eyes on this recipe?? He'll blow a gasket!
> (laugh)
> nancy, I betcha if you read the whole list, that it has grape jelly and
> chili sauce in it too...
> Rosie
Heh, close ... chili sauce and fig jam!
nancy
Wayne Boatwright
Well, it does have fig jam and spaghetti sauce. Does that count?
--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
Wayne Boatwright
Oops, I didn't see your post before I said the same thing.
--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
modom
<qwe...@monmouth.com> wrote:
>I'm no chili purist by a long shot, but can you imagine if Modom
>comes around and lays eyes on this recipe?? He'll blow a gasket!
>(laugh)
>
Eggplant, fennel, fig jam, pickles, arugula, pork rinds.
The pernicious twits. The fiendish bastards. The foul, vile,
repulsive, coprophageous, retromingent, communist, pissant, dumbass
!*&!%$#^!^$&#*#!!*&!^%!!!!!!
{{{{{{{BLAST!}}}}}}}
dribbledribbledribbledribbledribbledribble...spluggghdripplurpglahh
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssigh
*thunk*
modom
Nancy Young
Wayne Boatwright
ROTFLMAO!
And *your* recipe for chili would be?
--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
TammyM
<qwe...@monmouth.com> wrote:
>
>"modom" <mo...@nonkoyote.com> wrote
>
>> On Sat, 22 Oct 2005 09:17:04 -0400, "Nancy Young"
>> <qwe...@monmouth.com> wrote:
>>
>>>I'm no chili purist by a long shot, but can you imagine if Modom
>>>comes around and lays eyes on this recipe?? He'll blow a gasket!
>>>(laugh)
>>>
>> Eggplant, fennel, fig jam, pickles, arugula, pork rinds.
>>
>> The pernicious twits. The fiendish bastards. The foul, vile,
>> repulsive, coprophageous, retromingent, communist, pissant, dumbass
>> !*&!%$#^!^$&#*#!!*&!^%!!!!!!
>>
>> {{{{{{{BLAST!}}}}}}}
>>
>> dribbledribbledribbledribbledribbledribble...spluggghdripplurpglahh
>>
>> sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssigh
>>
>>
>> *thunk*
>>
>>
>> modom
>
>(laugh!!!!) That cracked me up. Too funny.
Someone **might** want to call 911. Poor man. It was just too much
for his heart <sob>
TammyM
modom
<wayne...@waynes.gang> wrote:
>On Sat 22 Oct 2005 08:21:09p, modom wrote in rec.food.cooking:
>>
>> Eggplant, fennel, fig jam, pickles, arugula, pork rinds.
>>
>> The pernicious twits. The fiendish bastards. The foul, vile,
>> repulsive, coprophageous, retromingent, communist, pissant, dumbass
>> !*&!%$#^!^$&#*#!!*&!^%!!!!!!
>>
>> {{{{{{{BLAST!}}}}}}}
>>
>> dribbledribbledribbledribbledribbledribble...spluggghdripplurpglahh
>>
>> sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssigh
>>
>>
>> *thunk*
>>
>>
>> modom
>
>ROTFLMAO!
>
>And *your* recipe for chili would be?
It's in the RFC Cook.Book. Rummaging through Google turned this up:
Here's a suggestion from a Texan (who believe it or not is less
concerned with authenticity than with the possibility of good flavor
in a bowl of red):
-2 lbs chopped beef
-1 lb chopped pork (note: you can use ground meat, but the texture
will suffer. The meat will cook a long time, so cheap cuts are
preferred)
-5-6 Tblsp prepared chili powder (note: the use of 5 or so rehydrated
ancho chiles is a fine variation, and perhaps other dried red pods
would suit you better--New Mexico, cascabel,, etc. One trick to get
more and better flavor out of dried chiles is to toast them very
briefly in a hot oven or even over a gas flame, but take care not to
burn them even slightly--they'll turn very bitter. After they're
rehydrated, grind them up in the blender with some water or stock and
add them to the pot. The idea is to make the stew turn brick red
because of the chiles, not other red stuff like tomatoes ot tomato
paste or catsup or whatnot.)
-2-3 Tblsp paprika, as desired to redden the mix, and of course to
flavor it, too.
-1 Tblsp cumin seeds (aka cominos)
-1 Tblsp dried Mexican oregano
-6-8 garlic cloves, minced
-salt, as needed (note much chili powder has much salt in it already,
which is a good argument for using chile pods in stead of the blend.)
-Sugar, as needed to cut any bitterness the chiles might land onto
your dish.
-Enough beef stock (watch the salt again if it's canned) or water to
cover the meat.
-About 2 Tblsp dry masa harina mixed with enough cold water to make
it a pourable but thick fluid for thickening the chili. If masa is not
available where you are, corn meal can be substituted. Masa tastes
batter, however.
-Cayenne can be added to make the chili more picante, if desired.
Chipotle chiles also would warm up the picante factor as well as add a
tasty smoke flavor to the chile.
(Final note: all measurments above are very approximate, but don't be
chicken about spicing your chili)
Brown the meat in a large pot, but don't cook it too long or too
brown. If there's a lot of fat in the pot when the meat is pretty
well done, drain it off as you are able. Add the spices except the
salt and the sugar (are they spices?) and cover the meat with stock or
water. Bring it to a boil, reduce the heat to low, cover, and slowly
simmer for about 3-4 hours. Check it now and again to make sure it
doesn't dry out, adding liquid as necessary.
When the meat is tender, taste the liquid and adjust the spices as
needed. This is the time to add salt and sugar if you feel they are
necessary. If you find it too hot, sometimes a couple of chunks of
raw potato simmered in the juice will suck up some of the spice. When
you are satisfied with the taste, make a slurry of the masa and cold
water and add to the pot, stirring constantly to prevent lumping.
Cook it another fifteen minutes or so till it thickens somewhat.
Serve the beans on the side, so people can add them as they like to
their individual bowls of chili. Red kidney beans cooked in stock
with some cumin and garlic and seasoning meat might be right. In my
house it is usual to serve the chili with chopped onion and grated
cheese. Also warm corn tortillas would likely be well received.
You will notice that this chili is a meat dish. Any vegetables you
need will be a separate enterprise. A green salad with tomatoes and a
nice lime vinaigrette would seem apropriate, but that's just me.
Chili, by the way, makes better leftovers than anything else I know.
The flavor is much better the second day or even the third. I mention
this by way of suggesting that it can be made on a weekend when its
long cooking time might be less of a problem (PROBLEM!) and then
served on a busier day.
modom
Wayne Boatwright
Thank you, Michael. I have eaten this type of chili before, but never had
a recipe for it. I'm looking forward to making it!
zara
<the.s...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1129941194....@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Way too complicated and way too many ingredients.
Dan Abel
Wayne Boatwright <wayne...@waynes.gang> wrote:
> On Sat 22 Oct 2005 08:21:09p, modom wrote in rec.food.cooking:
[snipped it all]
> And *your* recipe for chili would be?
CHILI
=====
one pound (or less) of hamburger
one medium onion, chopped
chili powder, to taste (a teaspoon to start?)
one can tomato stuff
one can beans
Brown hamburger until most pink is gone. Add onion and cook until
transparent. Add chili powder. Cook a few seconds and then add tomato
stuff and beans.
Serve with lots of saltine crackers and some chili powder (I'm sure you
didn't add enough). Some hot red pepper sauce would be essential for me
(Tabasco or Tapatio, thanks). Other stuff might be nice, but you *are*
camping, aren't you?
--
Dan Abel
da...@sonic.net
Petaluma, California, USA
zxcvbob
> On 23 Oct 2005 05:45:18 +0200, Wayne Boatwright
> <wayne...@waynes.gang> wrote:
>
>
>>On Sat 22 Oct 2005 08:21:09p, modom wrote in rec.food.cooking:
>>
>>>Eggplant, fennel, fig jam, pickles, arugula, pork rinds.
>>>
>>>The pernicious twits. The fiendish bastards. The foul, vile,
>>>repulsive, coprophageous, retromingent, communist, pissant, dumbass
>>>!*&!%$#^!^$&#*#!!*&!^%!!!!!!
>>>
>>>{{{{{{{BLAST!}}}}}}}
>>>
>>>dribbledribbledribbledribbledribbledribble...spluggghdripplurpglahh
>>>
>>>sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssigh
>>>
>>>
>>>*thunk*
>>>
>>>
>>>modom
>>
>>ROTFLMAO!
>>
>>And *your* recipe for chili would be?
>
>
> concerned with authenticity than with the possibility of good flavor
> in a bowl of red):
>
> -2 lbs chopped beef
> -1 lb chopped pork
> -1 Tblsp dried Mexican oregano
> -6-8 garlic cloves, minced
> -Sugar, as needed to cut any bitterness the chiles might land onto
> your dish.
> -Enough beef stock (watch the salt again if it's canned) or water to
> cover the meat.
> -About 2 Tblsp dry masa harina
> Chipotle chiles also would warm up the picante factor as well as add a
> tasty smoke flavor to the chile.
> (Final note: all measurments above are very approximate, but don't be
> chicken about spicing your chili)
>
[snip directions]
Here's mine; it's quite similar. Try using homemade pork stock (from
fresh pork, not cured) instead of beef stock. It's much better,
although I usually use canned beef broth too.
You can leave out the beans if you find them offensive:
Best regards,
Bob
* * *
Bob's Chili
1 to 1.5 pounds ground beef or venison (preferably coarse "chili grind")
1 pound beef stew meat
1 large (or 2 small) yellow onions
2 cups water
8 dried New Mexico or Guajillo chile peppers
4 large dried Ancho chile peppers
2 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
2 (15 oz) cans beef broth
1 (15 oz) can pinto beans or "chili beans"
1 Tbsp rolled oats
cayenne pepper, to taste [I used between 1/4 and 1/2 tsp]
Break up the ground meat in a large skillet and begin browning over high
heat. When the meat has turned gray and there is some grease in the
pan, add the stew meat. Continue cooking until all is thoroughly done
and browned somewhat. Transfer to a large stockpot. Sit the dirty
skillet aside for later.
Remove stems from New Mexico chiles and put peppers in blender. Whir
until they are ground up pretty good. Tear the ancho chiles into large
pieces, removing stems and seeds. Put in small saucepan with the water;
simmer for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, coarsely chop onions and sauté in the grease remaining in the
skillet. When onions are soft and becoming translucent, transfer to the
stockpot.
Pour the stewed anchos and water into the blender with the ground chiles
and blend until liquified. Pour the chile paste into stockpot. Rinse
the blender with a little water and pour that in the stockpot.
Add all remaining ingredients except the beans and the oatmeal. Simmer
for several hours. Add canned beans and simmer another 20 minutes.
Adjust seasoning (salt, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and maybe garlic
powder) to taste. Add the oatmeal, and simmer 10 or 15 minutes until
thickened (stir occasionally because it can burn at this point.)
--
modom
wrote:
I like all the chiles. I think my ingredient list was a bit timid
with the peppers.
But the oatmeal puzzles me. How did you hit on that idea? Do you
prefer oats to masa?
modom
Carol Garbo
believe anybody would want to make that crap. Carol
Our life may not always be the party we would have chosen, but while we
are here, we may as well dance!
zxcvbob
Wolf® brand chili uses rolled oats as a thickener. So little thickener
is needed (the peppers seem to thicken it), it really doesn't matter
that much. Masa would work just as good but probably no better than the
oatmeal.
Best regards,
Bob
--
"Neighbor, how long has it been since you've had a big thick steamin'
bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?" <dramatic pause> "Well, that's too long."
-Pop Myres
Wayne Boatwright
I really love oatmeal, especially old-fashioned rolled oats and pin oats.
However, I only like eating it as oatmeal or in oatmeal cookies. My
experience with using oatmeal as a binder in meatloaf, or evan ground and
used as a thickener, produces a slimy texture I can't bear to eat.
Rodney Myrvaagnes
While we were living on the sailboat this summer, we used things from
cans that we wouldn't at home. We made a chili (not con carne) a
couple of times when we were stuck in a rainstorm at anchor. It went
something like this.
An onion, chopped,
A few cloves of garlic, chopped
A couple of San Marzano tomatoes, from a can
One chipotle en adobo, from a can with some of its adobo, chopped.
Some cilantro cut up and sprinkled on the plates
Saute onion a few minutes, add the beans, tomatoes, chipotle, and
simmer for a while
add the garlic and simmer for a few minutes longer, tasting for salt
Serve in bowls with cilantro and some pecorino grated on top
If we felt like having meat in it, I would probably dice something and
brown it at the beginning.
One chipotle is enough for us, but could easily be increased if
desired. Also, fresh jalapenos or serrrano could be used if the store
had them
It would be delicious with a habanero, but my sunburned lips would be
in pain for a long time if I did that.
As you can see, I don't regard chili as a Platonic ideal, but as
something quick and easy to eat when it is cooler than one might like.
Also I only have to please my wife and myself.
can of black beans.
Rodney Myrvaagnes J 36 Gjo/a
Kansas--working to become a science-free zone
bruce bowser
Bruce
They are very much like the Communist Party of the USSR at that time, except that they're coasting on the glory
of having pretended to be the party of equality, much like the oldsters of the Soviet Union coasted on pretending
to have won WWII all by themselves.
bruce bowser
dsi1
Good news - in the year 2021, rfc will still be disrespecting food. By then, they'll have branched out to disrespecting other posters, modern computing, and electricity. Weep openly, and deeply, for rfc.
Future boi
GM
act...???
Lol...
🛌
--
GM
Bruce
Certainly a recipe worth vomiting to.
bruce bowser
> Snipped all that poopoo.
>
> Certainly a recipe worth vomiting to.
Bruce
Bruce
wrote:
Ophelia
Ophelia
dsi1
Hank Rogers
you deserve.
None of them understand asian and rock culture, so phooey on them.
Bruce
wrote: