OT - Cheering up DDs
Sharon Harper
were coming down for a visit? Well they arrived on Friday in time to pick
DD1 up from school and left this morning while the DDs were at school and
kinder. I'm not meaning to whine and sound ungrateful or anything like that
(I've done that in previous posts along ways back!) but it's a (for most
people) 11 hour drive from their house to ours so you would think that being
retired, having no responsibilities and no pets and having not seen your
grandkids in a good 8 months you'd want to spend longer than 2 days
a-visiting. And in those 2 days they prolly spent about 4 hours each day
with me and the kids. And it wasn't playin' in the park, colouring in,
snugggle and watch a video quality time, it was "I want to go to Southland
(a large mall) and to see this, that and this" where the kids are dragged
along. They also seem to be of the mindset that because they haven't seen
the kids in so long and aren't staying long they have to buy the kids
everything they can. It's like they are trying to "buy" the kids.
Makes me angry and frustrated as I had one DD in tears this morning at
school and another was screaming and crying fit to burst on her return from
kinder because "Lady said she'd see me later" and it was left to me to tell
her that Lady had gone back to Sydney. (Lady is what the kids call my mum).
What really rankles is that when I asked her why they were leaving today
(they were due to leave tomorrow) she says "We've done what we want to do so
we are going home" - you should have seen the kids faces collapse at that
comment.
I don't want to buy them things to make 'em happy, I just want to see them
smile. Maybe some girly time with chocky-cinos and an ice cream? I know
that makes me smile. Thanks for listening guys. Oh and pass the cheese to
go with the whine!
--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
juliasb(nospam)
my DD's and my DGD. And I don't even live all that far away. I would
give a whole lot to be able to spend a full day with any of them. Have
some chocolate and take a nice bubble bath. It's one of those things
that is hard to draw a line through.
I feel awful for you but then there is always quilting
juliasb
Sharon Harper wrote:
--
Conductor of the Squish-mobile
...come and journey with me...
from darkness into New Life
frood
mommy time will help. How about manicures? Get out the nail varnish and do
each other's nails - don't forget toes! Summer's coming!
--
Wendy
http://griffinsflight.com/Quilting/quilt1.htm
De-Fang email address to reply
"Sharon Harper" <shar...@optusnet.com.au> wrote in message
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Sharon Harper
--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"frood" <mam...@FangGriffinsFlight.com> wrote in message
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Sharon Harper
Quilting will follow when DDs go to sleep (now THAT's going to be the hard
part).
--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"juliasb(nospam)" <"juliasb(nospam)"@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:79udnfCmbMT...@comcast.com...
The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me
I'm going to bare my soul here in front of everybody. My mom is
"difficult". I made a vow to myself to NEVER cause my DSs and DDILs and
granddarlings to feel about me like we felt about her. I will NOT put
myself forward and *force* myself on them and their families. I will
NOT go to their house unless I am invited. I seldom call because we
used to not answer the phone in case it was *her* calling. I used to
make excuses to not go to her house when invited because we'd be
miserable all the while we were there. I wait until my sons invite
themselves to my house. I don't push myself on my granddarlings in case
they'd rather *not* be hugged and kissed by a virtual stranger. I
welcome and encourage any advances they make to me, tho- you'd better
believe that! :-)
I don't see my granddarlings too often, so I don't know them very well.
I don't know what they like to do, what kind of toys they like, what
they like to eat, what tv programs or videos they like, etc. Therefore,
I don't always know what to do with them (activities) or what to buy for
them. It certainly does NOT mean I don't love them!!! Sometimes I'm
just at a loss with them.....
Just another possibility you might consider??? Your parents may be
hurting on the inside......
Leslie, (sadly) a long distance granny
PS: Last time my parents visited me- a 1400 mile drive- they left 2
days early with no explanation. I found out a year later that Dad had a
terrible case of poison ivy and just wanted to get home- he was feeling
miserable. I wish he had said something as I felt terrible wondering
what had gone wrong! He didn't want me feeling guilty cuz he caught
poison ivy on my property......
The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me- My dogs aren't my whole life...they make my
life whole.
RCTQ- Houston 2004..... A good friend will come and bail you out of
jail.... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...
that was fun!"
D&D
grandparents :-(
Dee in Oz
"Sharon Harper" <shar...@optusnet.com.au> wrote in message
news:3faf0330$0$3787$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
Valkyrie
the waist, stood in front of the mirror, hands on hips and said in a
cheerful voice..........OK you sagging, pathetic 40DDs, CHEER UP,
DAMMIT!......well that didn't work :(
Now to be serious:
This is just a thought, and may not be appreciated by either parties
but.........how about, after the hard feelings have died down a bit, give it
a month or so, and then one day when the subject of the grandparents should
happen to come up suggest that the girls sit down and write them letters. It
would be a good weekend project when the weather stinks and you have to stay
in the house project. Not email, real letters written by the children
themselves with a tad bit of Mom supervision. They can tell them what is
going on in school or the holidays, with their friends, with pets, their
hobbies and friends, around the house and such. How they will be looking
forward to a visit again and what the children would think might be
interesting or fun to do together. Enclose some art work showing what they
hope will happen, sitting in a lap reading a book, sitting at a table
playing games, walking on the beach,getting hair brushed and fluffed, having
a picnic, going for ice cream etc, you get the idea. This of course would be
written in a positive way, no recriminations or guilt trips. Just some good
communication and we miss seeing you more often, lets have fun when you're
here. I have a feeling sweet letters and a bundle of original child type art
pictures (visual aids) from the loving granddaughters would pack much more
of a wallop than any censure from you. What have you got to loose?
Val
"Sharon Harper" <shar...@optusnet.com.au> wrote in message
news:3faf0330$0$3787$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
Sharon Harper
One that I have considered often. Dad, sadly, knows himself he doesn't have
many years left and has been trying hard to get mum to move to Melbourne to
be closer to me and the kidlets but mum won't do it even though it is what
dad really wants. My kids adore them and would LOVE to have them in the
same state let alone city! They were so eager to get home today that they
managed to take 3 hours to get across town (a 40 minute drive) - by stopping
to shop on the way. Time they could have spent with the kids (or me....).
Oh well!
--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me" <kwil...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:13534-3FA...@storefull-2156.public.lawson.webtv.net...
Sharon Harper
--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"D&D" <davem...@nospamansonic.com.au> wrote in message
news:3faf...@usenet.per.paradox.net.au...
Sharon Harper
already. The kids speak to them on the phone too and tell them they would
love to see them again. They get "oh we're very busy" or "it's a very long
trip" or "we'll be there soon". I spoke with the girls today during our
girly time ( we must have used every tester makeup product in kmart!) and I
have the feeling DD1 at least, if not DD2 too, is realising that "Lady just
doesn't visit for long". It's a shame they have to realise this young but
maybe it will save them the heartache later on. Thanks again.
--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"Valkyrie" <Yaw...@YahBetcha.org> wrote in message
news:1068447439.178556@yasure...
Kate Dicey
>
> First of all, after reading only the subject line I immediately striped to
> the waist, stood in front of the mirror, hands on hips and said in a
> cheerful voice..........OK you sagging, pathetic 40DDs, CHEER UP,
> DAMMIT!......well that didn't work :(
Ooer! I was doing that the other day - I had to buy new bras! I've
shrunk out of all the old ones, and they are dropping to bits, so that
was it... And I've gone down a size, all in proportion! I now
officially take a 34F! Gravity, however, still sucks when I'm
undressed...
>
> Now to be serious:
>
> This is just a thought, and may not be appreciated by either parties
> but.........how about, after the hard feelings have died down a bit, give it
> a month or so, and then one day when the subject of the grandparents should
> happen to come up suggest that the girls sit down and write them letters. It
> would be a good weekend project when the weather stinks and you have to stay
> in the house project. Not email, real letters written by the children
> themselves with a tad bit of Mom supervision. They can tell them what is
> going on in school or the holidays, with their friends, with pets, their
> hobbies and friends, around the house and such. How they will be looking
> forward to a visit again and what the children would think might be
> interesting or fun to do together. Enclose some art work showing what they
> hope will happen, sitting in a lap reading a book, sitting at a table
> playing games, walking on the beach,getting hair brushed and fluffed, having
> a picnic, going for ice cream etc, you get the idea. This of course would be
> written in a positive way, no recriminations or guilt trips. Just some good
> communication and we miss seeing you more often, lets have fun when you're
> here. I have a feeling sweet letters and a bundle of original child type art
> pictures (visual aids) from the loving granddaughters would pack much more
> of a wallop than any censure from you. What have you got to loose?
>
> Val
There's a great idea!
I think I was very lucky with my grandparents. My mum's parents were
the only ones we had (my paternal grandmother died when Dad was about
17, and his stepmother didn't really count! His dad died six weeks
after the parents got married). They were great grands to have. One
summer (when ma was about to have Little Sis), they took Big Sis and me
for a whole 5 weeks. They took us to the beach, to visit every castle
in Scotland within a day visit distance of Kirkcaldy, where they lived
(that's a LOT of castles!), for outings just for lunch, AND gave us
plenty of play time and space... I think that was the summer we stole
all granny's old saucepans to 'cook' with in the summer house! We
discovered the play value of rhubarb (giant sticks of rhubarb that are
too tough to cook make superb umbrellas for kids for two days. When the
leaf goes floppy, they make excellent brooms for the summer house.
After that, you chop them up as 'food' for the teddy bears, and a day or
so later your grampa adds them to the compost heap... )
That was also the summer Granny taught me to sew using the treadle! We
made a pink velvet dress for Topsy, my black doll (she was a real
favourite! She came to Scotland with us, while all the boring pink ones
stayed at home in the wardrobe!) out of some real silk velvet left over
from a bridesmaid dress my mother had had as a child! We also cooked
(on the old Raeburn - like an Aga), helped weed the flower beds, and
learned to polish brass doorknobs!
My grandparents rarely bought presents for us (birthdays and Christmas
only, and an egg at Easter), but they gave love and time. That's what
kids need most! It's 42 some years since that summer, but I remember
bits of it like it was yesterday.
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
Diana Curtis
ever!
And I hope to be a "fun" grandma too. Im going to take Meg and Marcus to the
kitchen to make messes and cookies, and sit with them at the sewing machine,
and teach them to use a treadle too! Im going to sit out in the hot summer
and watch them splash in a pool...
You are so right, Kate, our grands, even our own kids, dont need presents by
the boatload, they need US. Our time, our attention.
Diana
--
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44
"Kate Dicey"
CNYstitcher
this..buy, buy, buy, and drag DS with her, making him miss his afternoon
"quiet time", then she jets out of here. This time, she couldn't jet
because *my* grandmother was with her, and the poor lady can only move
so fast. At least she starte telling DS a day ahead of time that she
will be leaving so that he is prepared for it <sigh>.
Larisa, not sure if being so far away from family is a blessing or a curse
DMOscarson
>the boatload, they need US. Our time, our attention.
>Diana
So right, Diana! But how do you get some people to understand this? I think
some are just hopeless and you have to make the best of it and explain it to
the kids so that they understand that it's not personal -- just the way that
particular Grandma is.
I got to spend time with my beautiful only granddaughter, Liz, this weekend.
She's 15 and is learning to sew! Hurray! Two weeks ago she made polar fleece
mittens with embroidery on them while she was here. This weekend we lunched
and shopped with my Mom and sisters on Saturday and then made polar fleece
scarves on Sunday. The scarves were something Liz had seen at a football game
and wanted to copy in her school colors. They're tied like the polar fleece
no-sew blankets and they end up looking like polar fleece feather boas. Very
cute and fun. She's going to make a polar fleece tied blanket with embroidery
for a Christmas gift, some more mittens and some pajama pants in a couple of
weeks. Liz's best friend is gone off visiting her dad every other weekend and
Liz has decided she'd like to spend those weekends with us and I couldn't be
happier with that arrangement.
So far, the quilting bug hasn't bit her, but I'm working on it!
Debbie in MN
Sandy Foster
"Sharon Harper" <shar...@optusnet.com.au> wrote:
> Anyone know how to cheer up 2 miserable DDs?
<snip>
I don't have any suggestions, Sharon, but I suspect that time will teach
your DDs what to expect. From what you've told us before, I'm not really
surprised at this particular incident. :( Hang in there.
--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
my ISP is earthlink.net
http://home.earthlink.net/~s-foster
Don/Gen
to move back to MI to be closer. One thing I've promised them is that I'll
never miss their birthday parties, unless it's due to illness. We often
drive up just for the day -6 hours on the road, but to me they're worth it.
When they come here we do things they like to do. Their other Grandma lives
in the same park they do, and we both do things with them. Actually the 2
sets of Grandparents are together a lot, on holidays and birthdays, some
week-ends, etc. Our DS and DIL realize how fortunate they are--no problems
from either set of parents and we all genuinely like each other.
Gen
"Sharon Harper" <shar...@optusnet.com.au> wrote in message
news:3faf0330$0$3787$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
Valkyrie
the memories that will live on long after they are gone. Memories are not
necessarily built on purchases. The only special purchase I can remember my
dear little Gran'ma making for me was a pair of very ruffly pink and yellow
nylon panties from a foray into Woolworth's. They were just so beautiful.
What I do remember, after 50+ years, is sitting next to her and learning to
embroider pillowcases and talking about what she did when she was a girl,
and making very pretty butter cookies and talking about how she liked to do
the same things I did when she was a little girl and squatting down beside
her when she worked in the garden and learning the Danish names for flowers
and standing on the toilet seat lid and getting to rub her pink Ponds Cold
Cream on my face before I was tucked into bed. I remember helping her dust
figurines and her telling me the story of each one. I remember that my
grandmother always had time to talk to me and no subject was glossed over
just because I was a child and was never made to feel silly or
insignificant. Grandparents should be very special people and I am glad I
had a wonderful loving mentor to train me to be a gran'ma. I don't have any
grandchildren of my own as yet but I am honing my skills with little
neighbor friends. There is nothing more wonderful than to have a very little
person run up to give you a big hug when they see you, or that little knock
on the door and hear, "You want to talk with me?" Maybe 50 years from now,
when I am gone, they will think of that old neighbor lady who always had a
little time JUST for them.
Val
"Don/Gen" <Donovanh...@billygoatsmsn.com> wrote in message
news:94Vrb.2214$X5.3...@eagle.america.net...
Coleen
I am so sorry that your little girls are upset about their grandparents
visit. I wish I could offer some suggestions, but I am just at a loss for
words. I will probably be totally different and drive the kids crazy with
the amount of time I want to spend with my grandkids. Hope you and your
girlies are feeling better by now.
Hugs,
Love in Stitches,
Coleen
Queen of Loving Stitches
"Sharon Harper" <shar...@optusnet.com.au> wrote in message
news:3faf0330$0$3787$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
Pat in Virginia
need to be frank but polite about the situation. Just as the kids
learn that some people are tall and some are short, some are dark
and some are light, etc., they need to know that personalities
will differ too.
In a matter of fact way, point out that some people are cuddly
people and some people are not cuddly people who may even be a
bit stand-offish, and of course there are some in between. And
then quite simply state that you are sad for the people who are
not the warm fuzzy type because THEY seem to miss out on lots of
the good times. But isn't it nice that all of you (the DDs and
you and DH) are so friendly and companionable! And maybe by
continuing to be friendly and affectionate the other people will
learn to lighten up a bit too!
That would not be rude but would convey the message ... you
don't want them to get a chip on their shoulders and you don't
want them to repeat unkind words! It could be educational and
reassuring at the same time. HTH. Just my two pennies worth.
PAT in VA/USA
Diana Curtis
Consider adding assurances that their grandparents behaviours is in no way a
refection on them. Your daughters are wonderful people and it is the
Grandparents who have trouble being, as Pat put it, cuddly. (saying
basically the same exact thing as Pat said but just throwing in that little
extra because for some reason most kids think that anything that happens in
their world refects on them) Its what I plan to do when Meg comes to
question why DHs side of the family never comes to visit. I will include
Pats explanation instead of calling them all sorts of vile names. :-)
Diana
--
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44
"Pat in Virginia" <pat.q...@cox.net> wrote in message
news:3FB12FCB...@cox.net...
Royce
think you should speak or write directly to your parents about this, just as
you have here. Your DD's & you should not have to be treated like that.
Letting your parents know the aftermath & fallout of their visit, & the
mistrust this will cause, is the best thing you can do for your children.
It may not change anything, but you won't know unless you do it.
Best of luck!
--
Royce
A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel.
"Sharon Harper" <shar...@optusnet.com.au> wrote in message
news:3faf0330$0$3787$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
Sharon Harper
fixed for a month or so, now we are back to "normal". DDs are coping okay
now, the weekend is drawing near with birthday partys and friends visiting
so they'll do okay. Me? I've got my cyber family and quilting! I'm going
great guns on these whirligigs - finished one row and started joinin'
another.
--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"Royce" <ro...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:xtednfH4XsS...@comcast.com...
Royce
my children did. We had different circumstances, but similar results &
effects, but the kids are grown now, and they turned out okay, mostly.
--
Royce
A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel.
"Sharon Harper" <shar...@optusnet.com.au> wrote in message
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