Shop Humor: You're Fired!
Phil Kangas
you can relate, eih? phil ;>))
Yup, you're fired! That's what happened in my shop today.
I was getting tired of junk crowding me out of work space
and today was the last straw! Who is the most useless
around here I asked. My attention was first drawn to that
old hydraulic bumper jack: what have you done lately that
justifies your existence? That jack says: well, I've
been holding your extension cords for some time now.
Holding cords? Your job is to lift cars by their bumpers
not hold extension cords! You're fired! Come on out of
that spot you've been calling home for so long. Come on
out of there, what's the problem here, stubborn eih? Who's
hanging onto your leg anyway. Hmmm, there's that gas water
pump tangled up and won't let go like it's losing an old
friend! Hey pump you don't belong here either so it's off
to living in the sauna for you! And out they went, the
jack to the woodshed and the pump to the sauna. Good
riddance! Back in the shop the next victim was a huge
electric motor: what have you done to justify your existence
here? I've been holding your spare weld cable. Holding cable
like the jack was holding cords? Naw, wrong answer, you're
supposed to make things turn with your power but now you
don't work anymore because you claim your windings are
shorted and I ain't taking that excuse to live in here so
you're fired too! Out with you and you get to live in the
snowbank out back till spring! Back in the shop the stuff
on the shelf was giggling and chuckling about those guys
getting the axe. Not so fast you shelf dwellers, you're
next! Your shelves are gonna get torn down to make room
for the press and the spare welder, at least they _do_
something around here. The 4x6 saw was grinning from ear
to ear hearing all this action and said it was about time
I took the law into my own hands and cleaned house! The
saw looked down at it's feet and all the junk iron there
and said you're next junkpile! I like the work the saw
does and apologized for letting junk pile up under it.
So now the other sectors are getting the idea and promised
to do better. Well I hope so, I'm a bit crabby about now.
Those books better get up on a new shelf or they are history
and that applies to all those chunks of round bar too!
Man, how long has this been going on right under my nose?
Who dragged this stuff in here, like the Malagutti engine
case w/o cylinder, the cow barn exhaust fan, the bag of
rags, the pile of rope tow wheels, deer antlers from '88,
a quarter gallon of lab grade hydrochloric acid, jeez...!
Where did all this stuff come from and who brought it here?
Anyway, the shop is feeling much better already! 05jan06pdk
Doug Miller
>Here's a story I wrote back in jan'06. I'll bet some of
>you can relate, eih? phil ;>))
Oh, yes. Thanks for the smile.
Larry Jaques
<pka...@alphacomm.net> scrawled the following:
>Here's a story I wrote back in jan'06. I'll bet some of
>you can relate, eih? phil ;>))
Not at all. You moved half a dozen things and were done? Nope. Can't
relate at all. I'd move that many things per square foot in my shop,
and there are over 400 of those s/f thingies there.
You've never seen my shop and likely never will. I sure wouldn't post
a picture of it for God and Everybody to see.
Cute story, thanks.
--
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to
make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done,
whether you like it or not; it is the first lesson that ought to be
learned; and however early a man's training begins, it is probably
the last lesson that he learns thoroughly.
-- Thomas H. Huxley
Jon Anderson
> You've never seen my shop and likely never will. I sure wouldn't post
> a picture of it for God and Everybody to see.
Me neither!
(you've seen mine, you know why....LOL)
Jon
Larry Jaques
<jande...@comcast.net> scrawled the following:
Ayup.
Mine's more dusty, but they look the same, with the tiny path to and
fro, in between the stacked crap, mat'ls, and tools.
Wes
>You've never seen my shop and likely never will. I sure wouldn't post
>a picture of it for God and Everybody to see.
I'd rather go on Jerry Springer than show my shops current condition.
As soon as frost laws come off and the garbage collector will empty my tote, there will be
a mass firing in my shop.
Wes
Larry Jaques
<clu...@lycos.com> scrawled the following:
>Larry Jaques <lja...@diversify.invalid> wrote:
>
>>You've never seen my shop and likely never will. I sure wouldn't post
>>a picture of it for God and Everybody to see.
>
>
>I'd rather go on Jerry Springer than show my shops current condition.
What a horrible thought! (and ditto)
>As soon as frost laws come off and the garbage collector will empty my tote, there will be
>a mass firing in my shop.
I need to buy half a dozen stepping stones and put them in front of my
pumphouse door so I can get in there in the wet season, then move my
firings out there. Hmm, better order some plastic bags first. (I hate
bins full of dust and spider webs, KnowwhatImean,Vern?)
--
I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study
mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and
philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation,
commerce, and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to
study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and
porcelain.
-- John Adams
Don Foreman
<lja...@diversify.invalid> wrote:
>On Sat, 13 Mar 2010 09:01:52 -0800, the infamous Jon Anderson
><jande...@comcast.net> scrawled the following:
>
>>Larry Jaques wrote:
>>
>>> You've never seen my shop and likely never will. I sure wouldn't post
>>> a picture of it for God and Everybody to see.
>>
>>Me neither!
>>
>>(you've seen mine, you know why....LOL)
>
>Ayup.
>
>Mine's more dusty, but they look the same, with the tiny path to and
>fro, in between the stacked crap, mat'ls, and tools.
Path? You have paths?
RoyJ
>>
>> Mine's more dusty, but they look the same, with the tiny path to and
>> fro, in between the stacked crap, mat'ls, and tools.
>
> Path? You have paths?
I guy a knew in my younger days had his motorcycle parts stored about 4'
deep in one area of his pole barn. When he needed a part he would walk
on top of the boxes, start digging down to what he wanted. I have no
clue how he kept all the locations straight but he could find anything
he wanted in about 10 minutes. Oh, just for reference, we counted 115
bikes or frames, that was just his motorcycle stuff. On the OTHER side
of the shop was the BIG stuff.
Larry Jaques
r<dfor...@NOSPAMgoldengate.net> scrawled the following:
<g>
I HAD to. I kept slipping on the crap if I tried to step on and over
it all. It got too dangerous otherwise, as a fall in there could be
fatal. Impalement ain't my cuppa.
nob...@nowhere.org
Buddy of mine got too fat to make it up a fold down attic ladder to
access all of the original boxes and packaging for his antique metal
toy collection. There are thousands of them up there. The toys are
on display downstairs.
Finding the correct boxes when he sells some toys is a real PITA, so
he can usually only get a sucker to go up there once. There are no
paths or method to his madness. And it's usually hotter'n hell up
there. Seemed like a good idea at the time, he says <g>.
Newb
Frank J Warner
I'd say you were fired because you missed that day in third grade when
they explained paragraphs.
-Frank
--
Here's some of my work:
http://www.franksknives.com
Phil Kangas
"Frank J Warner"
> rudely wrote in message
> I'd say you were fired because you missed that day in
> third grade when
> they explained paragraphs.
>
> -Frank
spam snipped...
paragraphs? paragraphs? I don't need no stinking paragraphs!
Idiot!
Haven't you heard of artistic license? Go vacuum that
hospital room
you call a shop, eih? I'll write with whatever style I
please....phil
Winston
> On Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:44:39 -0500, the infamous Wes
> <clu...@lycos.com> scrawled the following:
>
>> Larry Jaques<lja...@diversify.invalid> wrote:
>>
>>> You've never seen my shop and likely never will. I sure wouldn't post
>>> a picture of it for God and Everybody to see.
>>
>>
>> I'd rather go on Jerry Springer than show my shops current condition.
>
> What a horrible thought! (and ditto)
Me, too.
Nekkid.
--Winston
Michael A. Terrell
Does the ceiling count?
--
Anyone wanting to run for any political office in the US should have to
have a DD214, and a honorable discharge.