Here's a new one.

[Bart Goddard]

I was cooking up a nice Nut Brown Ale (my wife's new
favorite) and everything was going nicely. It was
pretty windy and there's crap blowing out of the
trees, but I fought the battle easily.

I just turned the fire off and started the chiller
going. I'm in my driveway, facing the street and a
huge freakin' snake comes out of my neighbor's bushes
and starts across the street. Dang it, my hands are
busy just now... But wife is hysterically snake-o-
phobic, so I know I have to kill this thing or else
move to Antarctica. So I cut the chiller, slap the
lid on and run for the shed. Come back with the
spade and behead the monster. I finish chilling,
pitching and cleaning. Then I wash the blood of
my shovel and measure the snake. 5 feet 7 inches.

I don't know what kind of snake it was, but it probably
swam over from Australia just to terrorize my wife
and make my life miserable.

Once again, I thank God for my Jedi skills.

Anyone else have to stop in the middle of a brew
session and fight a heroic battle against Leviathon?

--
Cheerfully resisting change since 1959.

[Tom Biasi]

On 14 Apr 2012 17:24:55 GMT, Bart Goddard <godd...@netscape.net>
wrote:

I don't know where you live Bart but you may have killed an important
member of the natural balance.

Tom

[Bart Goddard]

Tom Biasi <tomb...@optonline.net> wrote in
news:vvrno7tvv1mnudttf...@4ax.com:

>>Anyone else have to stop in the middle of a brew
>>session and fight a heroic battle against Leviathon?
>
> I don't know where you live Bart but you may have killed an important
> member of the natural balance.

No, I _definitely_ killed it. I kill all the tarantulas who
wonder onto the property too. The alternative (moving to
Antarctica) is simply not an option for me.

[baloonon]

Bart Goddard <godd...@netscape.net> wrote:

> Tom Biasi <tomb...@optonline.net> wrote:
>
>>>Anyone else have to stop in the middle of a brew
>>>session and fight a heroic battle against Leviathon?
>>
>> I don't know where you live Bart but you may have killed an important
>> member of the natural balance.
>
> No, I _definitely_ killed it. I kill all the tarantulas who
> wonder onto the property too. The alternative (moving to
> Antarctica) is simply not an option for me.

The cure might be worse than the disease. A good big ol' snake can clear
out a nest of rats better than any cat or terrier, and rats will laugh at
most poisons out there today. Rats will go nuts to get at grain, chewing
through metal if they have to, and they'll do evil stuff like pee all over
equipment and chew up tubing just to spite you, and they'll drag shiny
stuff like metal fittings off to their nests. They're also devious sneaky
monsters when they need to be, and will hide their tunnels better than
those guys in The Great Escape, so that lots of people will think they
don't have rats, until it's too late.

I had a metal container of grass seed in a back corner of the garage, and
was amazed when I discovered the trouble they went to in order to get at
it. I've heard horror stories about how rats will come into a garage to
get at trash, and then go to town on the wiring in the car that was parked
there.

Snakes, on the other hand, only have a taste for sweet liquor like cherry
cordials and peppermint schnapps, so they'll leave your beer alone.

[Doug Freyburger]

Bart Goddard wrote:
>
> Once again, I thank God for my Jedi skills.

Amazing tale.

> Anyone else have to stop in the middle of a brew
> session and fight a heroic battle against Leviathon?

I've never so much as been interupted by Jehovah's Witnesses. Of course
one of these days I'll be brewing a batch of mead when Odin's Witnesses
knock on the door. You won today. I figure I'll lose then. I'll
regret that I never sharpened the blade on my decorative sword and
they'll walk off with some booty. With those eye patches they may look
like pirates but I know pirate speak from Old Norse. Or Old Saxon.
Whichever.

[Dick Adams]

It was a choice between killing the snake or his wife. I
would have made the same choice because it'd take too long
to find another woman who'd put up with me. But if had
been Bart's mother-in-law, that would be a different story.

[Bart Goddard]

rda...@panix.com (Dick Adams) wrote in news:jmljvb$ama$1
@reader1.panix.com:

> It was a choice between killing the snake or his wife. I
> would have made the same choice because it'd take too long
> to find another woman who'd put up with me. But if had
> been Bart's mother-in-law, that would be a different story.

So you've guessed, quite accurately, where the carcass was
mailed....