Message from discussion
Why Stuart Scott Sucks.
From: "Chris Harris" <harris316NOS...@worldnet.att.com>
Subject: Why Stuart Scott Sucks.
Date: 1999/04/29
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The following fax was the "Huge Fax of the Day" on the Jim Rome show for =
1/15/97. I couldn't have said it any better myself.
TO: Van Smack
RE: "You want lobster..I'm thinking Burger King"
Be Careful What You Ask For Van Smack,
"About a week ago you asked me why I always smacked on Stuart Scott =
with every fax that I sent into the Jungle? I personally thought that =
the reason was obvious to all, but now that there seems to be growing =
dislike for DJ Stuy Scott arising in The Jungle, I figured I'd come in =
and make it plain...or as Stuart himself might say, "I'm gonna break it =
down for you proper like" DJ Stuey is a no-talent clown who stares out =
from behind half-opened eyes and accentuates anything he says with some =
type of urbanized slang. (Boo Ya!!!) He's Droopy the dog meets Big Daddy =
Kane, and I don't mean that in a good way. He's Bryant Gumbel trying to =
act like Method Man....He's Pat Boone attempting a stirring rendition of =
" I ain't the one" by NWA....He thinks he's Busta Rhymes, but he's more =
like Buster Poindexter. Why is it that I picture Jam-master Stuart =
sitting at home late at night, white wine spritzer in hand, Tom Jones =
whisping faintly in the background, watching "Yo, Mtv Raps" to get some =
lines for his next newscast. His notes consist of little gems like "That =
L.L. Cool J sure is keene, make sure to use some of his DOPE =
colloquialisms" and "My , that group Blackstreet sure are a bunch of =
ruffians, be sure to use some of their energy next time Michael attempts =
a dunk shot." Other notes include " Remember, nothing goes better with =
NHL highlights than Ghetto Boys lines"-which leads to stirring =
commentary like "Patrick Roy lets in a blast from the blue line..."His =
Minds Playin' Tricks on Him". In sum, I feel fairly confident in saying =
that I, the pasty Chowd that I am, listen to more rap than Stuart Scott, =
and until he references any song that is not in the "Top 5" or =
references a line that is not either the title of said song or the first =
line of the refrain, that he is a fraud. Be what you are STUART, because =
you're act isn't fooling anybody, and you come off like an idiot. Tell =
me the scores, don't "break me off a little sumpin, sumpin. Give me =
information, don't "bust out with the 411". More than anything STUART, =
be authentic, because if anybody thinks you're for real, "They don't =
know and they better ax someone". Game rules, gimmicks suck, and STUART =
is not the "Fresh Prince of ESPN"=20
John the Chowd
--=20
Chris Harris
The former Answer Man
Stale Gum -- Current as of Apr. 21
http://members.xoom.com/StaleGum/home.htm
Schill-O-Meter -- 34
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<DIV><FONT size=3D2>The following fax was the "Huge Fax of the Day" on =
the Jim=20
Rome show for 1/15/97. I couldn't have said it any better=20
myself.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE style=3D"MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>
<H4>TO: Van Smack</H4>
<H4>RE: "You want lobster..I'm thinking Burger King"</H4>
<H4>Be Careful What You Ask For Van Smack,</H4>"About a week ago you =
asked me=20
why I always smacked on Stuart Scott with every fax that I sent into =
the=20
Jungle? I personally thought that the reason was obvious to all, but =
now that=20
there seems to be growing dislike for DJ Stuy Scott arising in The =
Jungle, I=20
figured I'd come in and make it plain...or as Stuart himself might =
say, "I'm=20
gonna break it down for you proper like" DJ Stuey is a no-talent clown =
who=20
stares out from behind half-opened eyes and accentuates anything he =
says with=20
some type of urbanized slang. (Boo Ya!!!) He's Droopy the dog meets =
Big Daddy=20
Kane, and I don't mean that in a good way. He's Bryant Gumbel trying =
to act=20
like Method Man....He's Pat Boone attempting a stirring rendition of " =
I ain't=20
the one" by NWA....He thinks he's Busta Rhymes, but he's more like =
Buster=20
Poindexter. Why is it that I picture Jam-master Stuart sitting at home =
late at=20
night, white wine spritzer in hand, Tom Jones whisping faintly in the=20
background, watching "Yo, Mtv Raps" to get some lines for his next =
newscast.=20
His notes consist of little gems like "That L.L. Cool J sure is keene, =
make=20
sure to use some of his DOPE colloquialisms" and "My , that group =
Blackstreet=20
sure are a bunch of ruffians, be sure to use some of their energy next =
time=20
Michael attempts a dunk shot." Other notes include " Remember, nothing =
goes=20
better with NHL highlights than Ghetto Boys lines"-which leads to =
stirring=20
commentary like "Patrick Roy lets in a blast from the blue line..."His =
Minds=20
Playin' Tricks on Him". In sum, I feel fairly confident in saying that =
I, the=20
pasty Chowd that I am, listen to more rap than Stuart Scott, and until =
he=20
references any song that is not in the "Top 5" or references a line =
that is=20
not either the title of said song or the first line of the refrain, =
that he is=20
a fraud. Be what you are STUART, because you're act isn't fooling =
anybody, and=20
you come off like an idiot. Tell me the scores, don't "break me off a =
little=20
sumpin, sumpin. Give me information, don't "bust out with the 411". =
More than=20
anything STUART, be authentic, because if anybody thinks you're for =
real,=20
"They don't know and they better ax someone". Game rules, gimmicks =
suck, and=20
STUART is not the "Fresh Prince of ESPN" </FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>John the Chowd</FONT></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE>
<DIV><BR><FONT size=3D2>-- <BR>Chris Harris<BR>The former Answer =
Man</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>Stale Gum -- Current as of Apr. 21<BR><A=20
href=3D"http://members.xoom.com/StaleGum/home.htm">http://members.xoom.co=
m/StaleGum/home.htm</A></FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3D2>Schill-O-Meter -- 34</FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>
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