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Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

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His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

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Dec 14, 2011, 4:28:38 PM12/14/11
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While we in the West worry about the price of gas, as if the humble
bicycle didn't exist, the Islamic Republic of Islam worries about what
kind of seat women should ride. Our "liberated women" wouldn't worry
about that simply because they would fear to ride a bike in the first
place. Holland is the exception, but statistically they are less than
an anomaly. This Iranian guy, definitely pro-Western, ignores that
fact and goes on to rally for Western style seat. Does he ignore that
"recumbent/pedal forward" bikes come with wide seats that don't have
the nose that may give rise to conflict? Does he know those seats may
also help save the man's most important appendage, outside of the
nose?

(I QUOTE)

Down with Islamic Tricycles!
Down with Islamic Tricycle seats!
Long live Christian/Western bicycles!
Long live bicycle seats!
Riding Christian/Western bicycles is our inalienable right!

So, how did all of this start? It was only a few days ago when
Mohammad Royanian, head of Iran's fuel management and transportation,
announced design of bicycles especially made for women. He said, an
Islamic Bicycle is being designed that will have the necessary
features to protect Muslim women and their values. First of all,
someone explain to me what these valuable Muslim women's values are
supposed to be that the other women in the world don’t have? But then
again, Muslim designers have been hard at work ever since the
announcement came out, or as Mohammad himself said, the design was
underway already, but the problem with the design of this bicycle is
not with the frame, handle bar, the drive mechanism, the wheels, or
any other parts of the bicycle, except for the bicycle seat. You see,
the modern day, or to be more precise, the Christian/Western style
bicycle seats are designed to go in between the legs, right where one
"roon" meets another "roon" and form a "koon". In the Christian/
Western style bicycles the seat goes smack right where the koon is.
It's very unholy! Any time a woman rides a bicycle the seat is right
in between her roons, under her koon, and right against her... In
front of that koon, there is a... in front of that koon there is
a... How can I say it without offending anyone! Well alright!
Alright! Right in front of that koon, towards the front of the seat,
anytime a woman rides a bicycle there is, there is, there is a
cheechee. There, I said it, cheechee, cheechee. Go sue me now.

http://www.iranian.com/main/blog/multiple-personality-disorder/islamic-tricycle-vs-bicycle

***

I'm far from endorsing Islamic values, but the fundamental right to
ride a bike is more important than the seat. When I see communities
where the bikes are commonplace and men and women are respected, I
will wholeheartedly endorse freedom.

Freedom of speech is good, but reality sucks...

http://www.bikerumor.com/2011/10/12/reality-sucks-for-gms-stop-pedaling-start-driving-campaign/


--------------------------------------------------

http://webspawner.com/users/BANANAREVOLUTION

http://webspawner.com/users/BIKEFORPEACE

Robert Scott

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Dec 14, 2011, 6:11:44 PM12/14/11
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Roons? Koons? Cheechees?

I knew I should have paid better attention in health class. No wonder I
can't keep a girlfriend....

Good paddling,
desmobob


His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

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Dec 15, 2011, 1:51:54 PM12/15/11
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I don't know but they must be Persian sacred words to describe
pleasure. I don't think a man would ever lose his appendage by riding
a beach cruiser seat, but a woman may find some relief in the nose. It
must be a woman who's a nymphomaniac of some sort though, the kind I
like. Are we afraid to become redundant?

If you think about the physiology of it, a man riding a *good* seat
should have a better erection than the average couch potato. It's all
about working out the area and making the blood flow. Perhaps we
kayakers need some fun between our legs too to be balanced. Hey, the
Hobbies give you the total experience letting you pedal in similar
fashion to a recumbent! Are they the best invention since the wheel?
While we are not exactly couch potatoes, we may be sitting too much on
our ass.

On the other hand, kayaking is a perfect upper body workout to keep
those shoulders strong. After not using my kayaks for a while, I've
started having shoulder discomfort that won't go away. Now I have a
hard time putting a skirt on, that's a kayak skirt. ;)

Remember this law of nature: USE IT OR LOSE IT!

If you can't keep a girlfriend, use the kayak to bait girls. Advertise
in Craigslist if you will. "Exotic romantic adventure to islands."
Recycle them until you get the right one. I use kayaking to get some
isolated islands with my girlfriend and, you know... everything goes.
And then I want to learn the didgeridoo to play on those occasions.
Many people think we kayakers are boring but, boy, are they wrong!
Well, now I'm adding paddle boards to the list of toys, so it's
getting even more exciting, challenging and liberating. It's the only
time I really feel free!

Do I sound like I'm selling the lifestyle? Reality sucks, we may as
well be creative. Oh, I almost forgot. We take hammocks too! That's a
very important part of the Beach Cruiser Philosophy. Hey, it may also
sound idyllic but the water of my nearest launching place can be best
described as toxic.

Enjoy now!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16rJxFGtd_k&feature=related

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

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Dec 15, 2011, 10:00:36 PM12/15/11
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On Dec 15, 1:06 pm, "Mr. Austerity" <"PrintMo.Money "> wrote:

> TibetanMonkey, the life's a Beach Cruiser Philosopher wrote:

> A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his
> Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when
> he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak
> English.

> So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and
> says to the chief, "This is a tree."

> The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

> The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and
> he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

> Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

> The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he
> hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a
> couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

> The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."

> The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills
> them both.

> The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years
> teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how
> could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

> The chief replied, "My bike."

Why so many people are still primitive? 10,000 years of civilization
hasn't worked? Were we better off as hunter gatherers? I believe so.
You had to know how to handle the axle, but you were fit and strong.
No bullshit back then.

We may blame civilization on the Iranians without doubt.



His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

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Dec 16, 2011, 9:54:23 AM12/16/11
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On Dec 16, 5:20 am, "!" <aengusmaco...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Dec 15, 5:59 pm, "TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher"
>
> <comandante.ban...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > Thank you for sharing that little known wisdom of the bike seat. I've
> > taken beach cruiser seats out of commission for being too soft. I've
> > got a couple of seats that I bought that are borderline, but the best
> > seats are firm.
>
> I ride a mountain bike, so I'm not sitting on a mattress like a
> typical beach cruiser.
>
> There's no guarantee that even a wide cruiser seat will prevent saddle
> anesthesia if a rider has a big butt and the gluteus maximum presses
> against the coccyx.
>
> More athletic riders are putting more weight on their legs and
> relieving the pressure on both the sit bones and the coccyx by doing
> so.
>
> Some riders with big butts will adjust the front of their seat so it's
> hugher than the back of the seat to relieve pressure on the coccyx.
>
> > If you want to play it 100% safe the recumbent is the way to go?
>
> Yes, the recumbent position places the least possible pressure on the
> intervertebral disks. If the disks don't bulge against the nerves, the
> rider won't experience pain or numbness.
>
> > But if you have it right, it makes sense that the workout irrigates the
> > area most concerned with the erection, right?
>
> You're probably right.
>
> Here are some links if you want to study the subject of what you sit
> on in great depth:
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sit_bones
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coccyx_pain
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cauda_equina
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cauda_equina_syndrome
>
> http://www.wheelessonline.com/ortho/cauda_equina_syndrome
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saddle_anesthesia
>
> http://www.wheelessonline.com/ortho/cauda_equina_syndrome
>
> http://www.wheelessonline.com/ortho/bulbocavernosus_reflex
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sit_bones
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coccyx_pain

This is an interesting point since *the revolution is about solutions*
and I've got a possible solution.

This seat...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000DZGLVY/ref=ox_sc_act_title_3?ie=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER

May be a match for a pedal forward bike which I have in mind, similar
to this...

http://www.fortune3.com/daysixbikes/Products-Bikes.html

I say 'may' because you may start sliding forward or the edge of the
seat may cut off blood flow to your legs. Definitely it won't give you
impotence.

Quite possible this could be the very seat the Muslims are looking
for. ;)

Wilko

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Dec 17, 2011, 6:32:38 AM12/17/11
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On Dec 14, 10:28 pm, "His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach
Cruiser Philosopher" <comandante.ban...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> While we in the West worry about the price of gas, as if the humble
> bicycle didn't exist, the Islamic Republic of Islam worries about what
> kind of seat women should ride. Our "liberated women" wouldn't worry
> about that simply because they would fear to ride a bike in the first
> place. Holland is the exception, but statistically they are less than
> an anomaly. This Iranian guy, definitely pro-Western, ignores that
> fact and goes on to rally for Western style seat. Does he ignore that
> "recumbent/pedal forward" bikes come with wide seats that don't have
> the nose that may give rise to conflict? Does he know those seats may
> also help save the man's most important appendage, outside of the
> nose?


That's very funny, especially considering the fact that special
women's seats (or "saddles", as they are called here in the
Netherlands) have been put on ladies bicycles (special model of
bicycle where the horizontal bar has been moved down towards the bar
that goes from the pedals to the handlebars, which allows them to wear
long skirts) and have been around for decades, if not longer:

http://www.fietspunt.nl/static/products/443/443-96651/productimage_ow3JyT6DzfqOY9jNpWuS_large.jpg

A more recent model: http://assets.rug.be/img_art/site/images/d70c31a1-c53d-4363-82e3-2f51c58fbd45.jpg

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

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Dec 17, 2011, 10:32:02 AM12/17/11
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> http://www.fietspunt.nl/static/products/443/443-96651/productimage_ow...
>
> A more recent model:http://assets.rug.be/img_art/site/images/d70c31a1-c53d-4363-82e3-2f51...

We got the second one in the States, but can't see the front of the
first one, I figure is round. The problem is that you must do a
balancing act between too much slant forward or back. A good nose
hardly pinches your area, but still would be an issue with women.

Someone looks stupid here, either the Iranian clerics or the dissident
celebrating the Western seat. Maybe both look stupid.

I guess I wouldn't be able to sell in Iran my t-shirt that says, "Put
some fun between your legs... Ride a Bike!"

We can put some fun between the legs but don't have *SPACE* to ride a
bike!

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

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Dec 17, 2011, 12:00:59 PM12/17/11
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"Iran may have captured U.S. stealth drone by hacking its GPS"

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/iran-may-captured-u-stealth-drone-hacking-gps-030447469.html

MY COMMENT:

"This demonstrates the superiority of Iranian engineering. American
engineers can't even figure out how to make basic bike lanes that
work. They can't even join the dots, since bike lanes are never
connected anywhere."

His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher

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Dec 18, 2011, 9:48:42 AM12/18/11
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On Dec 18, 4:36 am, "SFD" <s...@127000.00> wrote:
> "His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher"<comandante.ban...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>
> news:51220bf5-b104-438f...@h3g2000yqa.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > On Dec 17, 12:28 pm, Tom <t...@comcast.net> wrote:
> >> On 12/17/11 12:05 PM, TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher
> >> wrote:> "Iran may have captured U.S. stealth drone by hacking its GPS"
>
> >> >http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/iran-may-captured-u-steal...
>
> >> > MY COMMENT:
>
> >> > "This demonstrates the superiority of Iranian engineering. American
> >> > engineers can't even figure out how to make basic bike lanes that
> >> > work. They can't even join the dots, since bike lanes are never
> >> > connected anywhere."
>
> >> MY COMMENT
>
> >> MOVE TO IRAN, keep your bikes off the road.
>
> > I'm sure we can find a middle ground between America and Iran. There
> > MUST be something that's not radical.
>
> ... right-on mon, smokin good radical shit for christmas is not radical mon!
>
> > Are democracy and bicycles really incompatible? Everybody wants to
> > drive, sure, but not all the time, everywhere. Something missing here.
>
> ... 'de sicle is good mon, smoke shit and fly up any hill past any auto
> mon!
>
> > Can the Chinese engineers enlighten us?
>
> Q .. 'what kinda shit made in china nowadays mon?
> A .. all kinda shit mon.
> Moderator: Emphasis on shit.

Well, our engineers simply don't give a shit, so even the shit made in
China may be better.

If you see the kind of shit they do, you'll see what I mean.

You may try this:

Go to Google SATELLITE maps and write 'BROAD CAUSEWAY MIAMI 33181'
blow up the map until you a tropical paradise with palm trees and a
beautiful seaside view. Now go back a couple of steps until you see
how they fucked up big time. They made a bike lane around the TOLL,
but failed to connect it so cyclists AND pedestrians are put to walk
trough the grass and mud. You will see the trail through the grass
where the mud shows. Right on the big bridge that you see I was
attacked by a "vigilante" that followed a sign that said, "Walk bike
across bridge," which could mean that you should NOT be riding a bike
on road OR on sidewalk. The other side of the bridge is Bay Harbor
Islands --a very wealthy community for the lions of the jungle.

I don't know if I can deliver the whole picture, but you get the idea.
You better be a lion in the jungle.

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