A Modest Etiquette Proposal
Scott Broam
A proposal to utilize technology to resolve riverine etiquette
conflicts
The vision : Boaters to be equipped with waterproof helmet-mounted
computers linked to centralized etiquette servers via a worldwide
wireless network to resolve river traffic conflicts.
As one such equipped boater approaches another so equipped paddler,
proximity sensors will trigger the opening of a wireless channel of
communication between both the boaters and the central AWA GIS
(geographical information system) and etiquette servers. Precise
locations, directions and speeds of travel coupled with the boaters'
intended courses (as registered by speech recognition routines) will
plot any possible intercept vectors. Current boat condition (ie
swamped open boat), boater skill and composure (pulse, respiration,
salivation) scores will be weighed to adjust the collision
calculations. Next, the current AWA (or UN Whitewater Counsel) river
etiquette protocols (+/- local variances) will be used to indicate
course corrections where collisions have been indicated (up to date
rules can be downloaded nightly). These course corrections will be
transmitted to the boaters via heads up display. Right of way issues
can be objectively solved in mere seconds! Additionally, external
signals (flashing lights and horns) can be used to communicate to
boaters who are so backwards as not to be equipped with this
oh-so-important safety equipment.
When on-site negotiations deadlock (both parties calculating
equivalent right-of-way scores), transmissions will be immediately
sent to the rec.boats.paddle arbitration committee (whoever happens to
be online at the time). Duhcisions would be made by consensus and
beamed back to the boating parties. This would understandably take a
few seconds longer.
Use would most likely be voluntary on less trafficked streams though,
perhaps, mandatory on busier streams. Gridlocked runs (like the
Nantahala, Yough, and Ocoee) could have additional features enforced,
such as electrical shocks administered to boaters refusing to yield
the right of way.
These units could be used for a wide variety of other functions, such
as intra-party communications - "Hey, who has the keys?" Rescue
workers could use them to locate and communicate with parties at risk!
Boaters could be informed immediately when they were in jeopardy of
trespassing on private property! And don't forget entertainment -
just think, you could watch The Weather Channel or the Cartoon Network
while waiting in eddies or on those flat stretches! The possibilities
are endless!
The technologies for this solution already exist (wireless
communication, ruggedized components, GPS, etiquette servers) - they
just need to be brought together!
I am currently seeking investors and a technical staff bring this
concept to fruition. If you have lots of money, experience with air
traffic control systems, middle east peace negotiations, or real time
programming, contact me at the e-mail address below. Together we can
realize the dream of wealth through boating!
Scott Broam, certified geenius
ps - don't even *think* about copying this idea, I've got my patent
application almost filled out
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scott Broam
Lexington, SC
"...you're just a wave, you're not the water..." - Jimmy Dale Gilmore
CKelly1022
I wanna be on the shocking committee. That would almost be worth giving
up boating for; sit in the Ociee control booth and shock the people who need
it.....shock 'em a lot too. Chris K..
Sam
We can eat their children if they're rude, too!
-Sam
Cathee Gallant
I'll sign up for Ocoee traffic control........Etiquette and more etiquette,
that's what the double E's stand for in my name...........Slick you better
be on the watch out for me, I have a hair trigger on my control button :-)
CathEE