Found in the RBR Archives - best theory on Lance's advantage I've seen so far

[Sneakyfox Pepsifranke]

Forget about all of the positive EPO tests, steroid creams and the
unknown agents that will be identified in the next 10 years. Forget
about all that. Researchers at Ball State have finally identified
Armstrong's cycling advantage.

According to the report:

Over his 7 Tour wins Lance's winning margin is calculated to be .03%
over the second place finishers.

The frictional losses attributed to having two testicles in the
nutsack
(nuts * n)/rpm)*overall time)) = from .05% to .09% depending on the
size of the nuts and whether or not the teabag has been shaved smooth.

According to Dr. Dick Islong of the BS physiology department, "Just
having a smooth scrotum can cut more that 2 seconds off a prologue
time
trial! Many of us here at Ball State are tingling with excitement at
this research."

"Motor losses and friction are multiplied when the two testicles
combat
each other with every pedal stroke, while Lance's single ball is left
peacefully in the middle. Over hundreds of thousands of pedal
strokes 'old lefty' acts as a single ball bearing that alternately
assists
the inner thigh of the opposing leg twice for each revolution."

"We are now looking for other test subjects to see if having no balls
at all leads to further gains however none of the ball-less cowards
from the Bush administration has had the time to make it to Indiana.
It's not like we're Ohio or Florida for fucks sake! " concluded Dr.
Islong

[GoneBeforeMyTime]

Best theory why he must be doped is probably the climbing thread about Alp
D'Heuz. I'd actually like to re-read that sometime.

[B. Lafferty]

:-)

[K. Fred Gauss]

Obviously, "Ad hoc ergo 'The Thing' "

Everything Brian says or does comes straight from "The Addams Family".

It's not hard, just twist your mind around it half as hard as Brian
twists his brain around Lance. You'll see, it makes sense! Or, at least
as much as Brian does.

[LawBoy01]

On Aug 8, 5:04 pm, Sneakyfox Pepsifranke

I remember Robin Williams making some crack about Lance's climbing
prowess during the coverage of the 2000 or 2001 TdF. You know, one
less testicle saves about as much weight as titanium vs. steel bolts
in the derailleurs.