stocking (warning: boring)
heather
autographs at a location a mile from my house. So as you might guess I
was excited! Here is the series of events that occurred this evening:
I take a full shower at 5pm, do my hair and put on all the makeup that
I have- 100% maximum effort.
I go outside and drive off into the full blown autumn windstorm we're
having.
I drive around and around for 20 minutes in the gusting rain because I
can't find the place, but I don't give up.
Eventually I find it and park 4 blocks away.
This is the part where this post could be interesting if this author
wasn't a record setting loser, but I am what I am so instead of doing
anything interesting I go and stand shivering in the rain across the
street at a bus stop, pretending to be waiting for a bus while I try
to peer through the window at T.F. and all the normal happy looking
people who have come to meet him, because I'm too afraid to go inside
myself.
A bus pulls up forcing me to either leave or get on the bus, so I
leave and drive off sad and unfulfilled.
At home I feel a strange urge to broadcast my failure to the safe,
understanding and ever caring audience of rbr.
Tyler looked friendly and nice, at least from across the street..
h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
Howard Kveck
heather <cle...@comcast.net> wrote:
Wow.
--
tanx,
Howard
Caught playing safe
It's a bored game
remove YOUR SHOES to reply, ok?
Norman
> h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
Speaking of stockers, we need more Healthy Choice
Pudding Cups in aisle 8, some weaselly dude just
bought all of them.
bjwe...@gmail.com
Wait, you're standing on the outside peering in at the
normal people? Which ones? They have gone out in
a windstorm to a Tyler Farrar autograph signing.
I mean, no offense to Tyler Farrar, but he isn't quite
at the Michael Jordan level yet. The truth is, those
people are no more normal than you are. They are
just a little more willing to come in out of the rain.
HH, you need a little extra motivation. Some people would
give you an uplifting talk about believing in yourself and
all that, but I'll spare you, plus who believes all that flimflam
anyway. That's for shiny happy people. Rather, I believe
in finding motivation in potential shame. So the next time
something like this comes up, you have to tell people in
advance that you're going to it. Tell your friends. If you
don't think you have any friends, tell the misbegotten
losers of RBR. (We don't have any friends either.)
The important thing is to tell enough people so that, once you
are on the doorstep and the little voice is telling you not to go
in, you _have_ to go in because your friends (or your RBR
"friends") are going to ask about it tomorrow. You need the
potential shame of admitting you chickened out to outweigh
the fear of engagement.
This shaming business is also a good way to motivate oneself
to do stupid things like leave the house at 6 in the morning
to go pay $20 to shiver at a start line and ride through mud and
wet and carry a perfectly good bicycle up hill. When it would
be easier to stay in bed, the shame of backing out on what you
told people you would do provides the motivation to get out.
And yes, I have done this.
So next time, I want to hear about your Farrar obsession
_before_ the event, damnit.
Ben
RBR Motivational Speaker
Anton Berlin
> h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
And a knew hi four people that ewes the wrong word four another.
ronaldo_jeremiah
> > h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
>
> And a knew hi four people that ewes the wrong word four another.
Dumbass,
h did nothing wrong. Well, not in her post.
-rj
Robert Chung
[stocking episode snipped]
That you would want us to know this is disquieting.
RicodJour
> > h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
>
> And a knew hi four people that ewes the wrong word four another.
newb
R
Anton Berlin
Dumbass I was talking about me setting the new record. Anyone that's
been here a month knows all about stockers.
cur...@the-md-russells.org
And this is gnus to whom?
I'll spot you two ewes and raise ewe a gnu gnu.
Curtis L. Russell
Odenton, MD (USA)
Just someone on two wheels...
Susan Walker
> h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
Yes, that was quite awkward :) You should hang out with Tyler more
often: he makes you 16 again! Also, welcome back.
Two people on another forum (heh) did go inside and wrote some stuff:
http://www.podiumcafe.com/2009/11/18/1162950/slow-news-day#25818069 and
below.
Tom Kunich
news:eb153d59-a840-4ad3...@d5g2000yqm.googlegroups.com...
>
> h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
Heather, glad you're back so that we can stalk you for awhile.
Bob Schwartz
> h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
A guy in our club pays the bills writing books. This is
not an easy thing to do, and along the way he's written
stuff like ad copy and lots of short pieces for magazines.
12 years ago he wrote a blog series about traveling with
country musician Marty Stuart. I had never heard of him
but he plays outside the genres that I listen to so I
don't really really qualified to comment on whether he
is good or sucks. And I don't care either.
But I did read the blog. Or at least I attempted to. Later
I told him I had to stop because it was too depressing
reading about how some of this guy's fans were expressing
their admiration. It seems like popular culture is full
of hooks for mentally ill people to latch on to, and this
guy had way more than his share.
h, you have a lot of work to do to set new lows. You are
not even in the ballpark. If you want to set a new low
you might want to consider tattoos, maybe Tyler's name
(someone very few people have heard of) in an interesting
location.
Just a thought. I know you're a hard worker, I'm sure you
can do better.
Bob Schwartz
Susan Walker
That would be a new high for stockers. Well, for a Farraraararar
stocker. She didn't make it in, that's bad stocking.
RicodJour
Yep, sounds like she had a run in her stocking.
R
heather
wrote:
> This shaming business is also a good way to motivate oneself
> to do stupid things like leave the house at 6 in the morning
> to go pay $20 to shiver at a start line and ride through mud and
> wet and carry a perfectly good bicycle up hill.
I'm not going to be able to feel much shame if I'm too busy laughing
over your funny posts :) but you're spot on right- I probably would
have gone in if i had promised a Tyler-Report to rbr ahead of time.
h
Anton Berlin
wrote:
The King of Comedy is one of the best stocking movies ever.
Does Heather look anything like Sandra Bernhard????
If so it may be genetically necessary to stock.
heather
wrote:
> Yes, that was quite awkward :) You should hang out with Tyler more
> often: he makes you 16 again! Also, welcome back.
Thanks for the welcome back! And hi to all! It's nice to see your
posts.
> Two people on another forum (heh) did go inside and wrote some stuff:http://www.podiumcafe.com/2009/11/18/1162950/slow-news-day#25818069and
> below.
Yeah, that's the sort of stuff I should have been able to write you
*if* I had gone in.
Of course I'm not as funny as:
"There's a whole lot of Boonen going on...… Sadly no full on mullet."
or
"Now JV- He wants to say “evil”. You can read it in his face. Wants
to, but won't... Because Vaughters hired a pygmy with a blowdart that
is standing at the back of the auditorium."
Good work, er, susan,
h (not going to ask)
Kurgan. presented by Gringioni.
>
> At home I feel a strange urge to broadcast my failure to the safe,
> understanding and ever caring audience of rbr.
> Tyler looked friendly and nice, at least from across the street..
>
> h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
Dumbass -
"Celebrities" are just people. If you weren't a fan of bike racing, TF
would be just some dude.
Since you probably be unable to adopt that attitude, I'll just add
this: you should've banged him when he was just some local racer.
you're welcome,
Kurgan. presented by Gringioni.
Howard Kveck
heather <cle...@comcast.net> wrote:
> On Nov 19, 12:53�pm, Susan Walker <myfulln...@xs4all.nl.invalid>
> wrote:
>
> > Yes, that was quite awkward :) You should hang out with Tyler more
> > often: he makes you 16 again! Also, welcome back.
>
> Thanks for the welcome back! And hi to all! It's nice to see your
> posts.
You did read them all, right? No, really - *all* of them since you haven't been
here.
derf...@gmail.com
yes, you could have at least taken some pictures him, all of which
appear vaguely pornographic, but which you then claim to have taken
under the guise of being a "cycling fan" ... and then post them to a
blog along with other pictures of riders sporting male camel toes.
Kurgan. presented by Gringioni.
<kgringi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Since you probably be unable to adopt that attitude, I'll just add
^
|
will
ronaldo_jeremiah
> On Nov 19, 12:53 pm, Susan Walker <myfulln...@xs4all.nl.invalid>
> wrote:
>
> > Yes, that was quite awkward :) You should hang out with Tyler more
> > often: he makes you 16 again! Also, welcome back.
>
> Thanks for the welcome back! And hi to all! It's nice to see your
> posts.
>
> > Two people on another forum (heh) did go inside and wrote some stuff:http://www.podiumcafe.com/2009/11/18/1162950/slow-news-day#25818069and
> > below.
>
> Yeah, that's the sort of stuff I should have
Correction: for stockers, it's always "should of".
-rj
ronaldo_jeremiah
Dumbass -
She should find out where he is staying, and show up early in the
morning, topless, with coffee and donuts.
-rj
P.S. Now that I think of it, topless donut _delivery_ is possibly a
better business model than hh's original idea.
Bob Schwartz
> Dumbass -
>
> She should find out where he is staying, and show up early in the
> morning, topless, with coffee and donuts.
>
> -rj
>
> P.S. Now that I think of it, topless donut _delivery_ is possibly a
> better business model than hh's original idea.
Dumbass,
It's Tyler, Cavendish gets to go first.
Bob Schwartz
Anton Berlin
wrote:
>
> - Show quoted text -
You have forgotten the lists my friend. We can get coffee anywhere,
anytime.
Things a man needs to do to make a woman happy:
rub her feet,
buy her gold and diamonds,
always agree with her,
pretend her friends are interesting,
do errands for her...
etc etc
Things a woman needs to do to make a man happy....
Show up naked.
Donald Munro
> Correction: for stockers, it's always "should of".
And she spelled looser wrong.
Donald Munro
> Awhile ago I found out that tonight Tyler Farrar would be signing
> autographs at a location a mile from my house. So as you might guess I
> was excited! Here is the series of events that occurred this evening:
You really got to get over this sprinter infatuation thing, us climber
types have much more long term appeal.
> I take a full shower at 5pm, do my hair and put on all the makeup that
> I have- 100% maximum effort.
Png or jpg please (preferably including the shower).
> This is the part where this post could be interesting if this author
> wasn't a record setting loser, but I am what I am so instead of doing
> anything interesting I go and stand shivering in the rain across the
> street at a bus stop, pretending to be waiting for a bus while I try
> to peer through the window at T.F. and all the normal happy looking
> people who have come to meet him, because I'm too afraid to go inside
> myself.
If you'd followed the Verheul pre-date doctrine you wouldn't have been
so nervous.
> A bus pulls up forcing me to either leave or get on the bus, so I
> leave and drive off sad and unfulfilled.
> At home I feel a strange urge to broadcast my failure to the safe,
> understanding and ever caring audience of rbr.
We care, but only about donuts, pizzas and sex in that order.
Anyway welcome back, hopefully we'll finally get some (in)decent porn
links again, Susan is pretty hopeless compared to you.
MagillaGorilla
POTM
Magilla
MagillaGorilla
Sorta...she also better know how to work the Maytag and stove like Martha
Stewart on meth or she's gonna find herself out on the porch with her jewelry
up for sale on ebay.
Magilla
Mark
>
> Sorta...she also better know how to work the Maytag and stove like Martha
> Stewart on meth or she's gonna find herself out on the porch with her jewelry
> up for sale on ebay.
>
> Magilla
Magilla's dinner instructions for his woman?
http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak
Susan Walker
Robert Chung
Beringer's 1996 Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley Private Reserve makes an
absolutely delightful accompaniment, particularly if you've taken care to
let it breathe a bit before quaffing. Also, make some fucking potatoes.
heather
<kgringi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Dumbass -
>
> "Celebrities" are just people. If you weren't a fan of bike racing, TF
> would be just some dude.
>
> Since you probably be unable to adopt that attitude, I'll just add
> this: you should've banged him when he was just some local racer.
I hesitate to write this (fuel on the fire and all that) but now that
you bring it up and cause me to consider- I'm not sure there was much
time when he was "just some local racer" and also not jailbait.
Anyway, don't be jealous- If it was you in there instead of him, I'm
pretty sure I would have still been across the street hiding.
h
Susan Walker
> Anyway, don't be jealous- If it was you in there instead of him, I'm
> pretty sure I would have still been across the street hiding.
But for all the right reasons.
William Asher
That's kinda funny, especially considering it was written by a dutchman.
--
Bill Asher
Amit Ghosh
> Awhile ago I found out that tonight Tyler Farrar would be signing
> autographs at a location a mile from my house.
dumbass,
are his lips as purple in person ?
derf...@gmail.com
wrote:
Fuck the steak. It's fucking Thanksgiving:
http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-barbecue-a-turkey-the-super-easy-way
What delightfully fucking wine goes with that?
Nobody
OK, coffee-nasal douche. Thanks, Ms Walker. :)
Michael Press
<eb153d59-a840-4ad3...@d5g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>,
heather <cle...@comcast.net> wrote:
> Awhile ago I found out that tonight Tyler Farrar would be signing
> autographs at a location a mile from my house. So as you might guess I
> was excited! Here is the series of events that occurred this evening:
>
> I take a full shower at 5pm, do my hair and put on all the makeup that
> I have- 100% maximum effort.
>
> I go outside and drive off into the full blown autumn windstorm we're
> having.
>
> I drive around and around for 20 minutes in the gusting rain because I
> can't find the place, but I don't give up.
>
> Eventually I find it and park 4 blocks away.
>
> This is the part where this post could be interesting if this author
> wasn't a record setting loser, but I am what I am so instead of doing
> anything interesting I go and stand shivering in the rain across the
> street at a bus stop, pretending to be waiting for a bus while I try
> to peer through the window at T.F. and all the normal happy looking
> people who have come to meet him, because I'm too afraid to go inside
> myself.
>
> A bus pulls up forcing me to either leave or get on the bus, so I
> leave and drive off sad and unfulfilled.
>
> At home I feel a strange urge to broadcast my failure to the safe,
> understanding and ever caring audience of rbr.
> Tyler looked friendly and nice, at least from across the street..
>
> h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
Totally awesome.
--
Michael Press
Michael Press
cur...@the-md-russells.org wrote:
> On Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:45:29 -0800 (PST), Anton Berlin
> <truth...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >> h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.
> >
> >And a knew hi four people that ewes the wrong word four another.
>
> And this is gnus to whom?
>
> I'll spot you two ewes and raise ewe a gnu gnu.
Is that acceptable?
--
Michael Press
cur...@the-md-russells.org
wrote:
To the party of which part?
Michael Press
cur...@the-md-russells.org wrote:
Owner of the two gnus.
--
Michael Press
bjwe...@gmail.com
> On Nov 18, 9:56 pm, "b...@mambo.ucolick.org" <bjwei...@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> > This shaming business is also a good way to motivate oneself
> > to do stupid things like leave the house at 6 in the morning
> > to go pay $20 to shiver at a start line and ride through mud and
> > wet and carry a perfectly good bicycle up hill.
>
> I'm not going to be able to feel much shame if I'm too busy laughing
> over your funny posts :) but you're spot on right- I probably would
> have gone in if i had promised a Tyler-Report to rbr ahead of time.
> h
"Funny"? I was completely serious! This is an outrage,
I demand an apology. If you're not going to take this
motivational training seriously, how are you ever
going to become a world class stocker? Do I have
to come over there next time you go to stock Farrar
and follow you with a megaphone shouting
"Venga! Venga! Venga!" ??
Ben
RBR Olympic Coach
Donald Munro
>> I'm not going to be able to feel much shame if I'm too busy laughing
>> over your funny posts :) but you're spot on right- I probably would
>> have gone in if i had promised a Tyler-Report to rbr ahead of time.
>> h
b...@mambo.ucolick.org wrote:
> "Funny"? I was completely serious! This is an outrage,
> I demand an apology. If you're not going to take this
> motivational training seriously, how are you ever
> going to become a world class stocker? Do I have
> to come over there next time you go to stock Farrar
> and follow you with a megaphone shouting
> "Venga! Venga! Venga!" ??
Hey wasn't Beckham in Seattle recently, even if he lost to an imaginary
salt lake ? A prime female stocking opportunity missed.
Susan Walker
Kurgan. presented by Gringioni.
wrote:
> http://www.king5.com/sports/World-class-cyclist-promotes-sport-at-you...
Fromt the article:
> Farrar admits professional cyclists are really big in Europe.
>
>“There are a lot of cycling fans over there (Europe) so when you go to the races,
> there's a lot of people out to watch, it's a lot of fun.”
>
> You mean, with women throwing their underwear at you?
>
> “No, I’m not quite that big!” he laughs.
<snip><end>
Dumbass -
Clearly he doesn't realize that a local woman (h squared) wants to
throw her underwear at him.
thanks,
Kurgan. presented by Gringioni.
RicodJour
You're assuming she owns some - you're not supposed to wear underwear
under cycling shorts.
R