Dear Food Network, Please Stop
Ubiquitous
Senior VP at the Food Network....asking him to stop.
Memo to Food Network: Your programming is going rancid
Greenberg hits on all the things I dislike about the Food Network, and
especially, "The Next Food Network Star."
http://tinyurl.com/DearFoodNetwork
-
Memo to Food Network: Your programming is going rancid
LOUISVILLE, KY - MAY 02: Guy Fieri arrives at ...
Guy Fieri, the last Food Network star? (Image by Getty Images via
Daylife)
Worst Episode Ever
World Headquarters
June 21, 2009
Bob Tuschman
Senior Vice President, Programming and Production
The Food Network
Dear Mr. Tuschman:
May I call you �Bob?� I�m assuming I can because your network�s Web site
hosts a blog for you called �Bob�s Blog,� so I�m going to take that as
an invitation to speak with you on a first-name basis.
Dear Bob:
Because I know you�re more than just a judge on your network�s �The Next
Food Network Star� show � you�re also presumably the top programming
executive behind the creation of the show and the man responsible for
most of what airs on the Food Network � I believe you are the right
person to which an important and, sadly, unpalatable message must be
delivered:
�The Next Food Network Star� sucks. It�s not entertaining. It has
nothing to do with actual culinary skill. And it�s another troubling
step in the ultimate devaluation of your network�s brand.
All of which is unfortunate enough, but it is made doubly so by the fact
that I can simply change channels and watch Bravo�s �Top Chef Masters,�
a cooking competition-reality show that also premiered this month and
which, while it may have its faults, actually appeals to the foodie in
me. Maybe because it�s actually about cooking food, not hissy fits and
cascades of jittery, bitter tears.
I�m sorry to be so blunt, Bob, because I think you�ve done some great
work in the past. Your official bio on The Food Network Web site notes
that you �developed and executive-produced the top performing series 30
Minute Meals, Barefoot Contessa and Everyday Italian among others.�
Those are good shows, Bob � they�re the shows that first drew me to The
Food Network at the start of this decade. It was your stars � Ina and
Giada and Mario (man, I love Mario Batali � I used to go to the gym
during the day and time my treadmill workouts to his show; one episode
of �Molto Mario� plus the first five minutes of �Sara�s Secrets� was
equal to three miles on the rubber belt) who showed me that real cooking
with real ingredients wasn�t out of my bachelor reach; that it wasn�t a
skill set open only to a select cadre of secret society denizens. Throw
in Dave Lieberman (finally! a TV chef with a kitchen as small as mine),
Jamie Oliver � and even some Rachael Ray, who I watched with the sound
turned down � and you had me hooked on amping up my knife skills.
But the Food Network has lost its way, Bob. You let Anthony Bourdain go.
You cancelled Mario�s show, and Sara�s, too. Yes, you�ve brought in new
chefs, but you�ve relegated all the actual cooking shows to weekends and
daytime, including the best ones with your most appealing personalities
� celebrity chefs who started out as chefs and only later became
celebrities.
Nowadays, prime time on the Food Network is all about competition shows
and reality non-fiction programming � and it�s all about folks looking
to make a name and buck. The food is just an afterthought for you, Bob,
and it�s really starting to grate on me.
How many �Food Network Challenge� shows are you airing these days, Bob?
Every time I turn on your channel, I see another group of
dull-as-dishwater chefs laboring under a contrived set of circumstances
to create the best eight-foot cake that looks like one of Roy Disney�s
children or most resembles a Hasbro toy. I suppose, at some level, it�s
impressive what these folks can do with yellow layer cake, fondant, food
coloring and lack of shame, but for crying out loud, you�re the freakin�
Food Network, not the Shitty-Sheet-Cake-Promotional-Happy-Meal-Tie-In
Network.
And now you�ve made �The Next Food Network Star� your big summertime
push. It hurts me to watch it, Bob, because it looks like my beloved
Food Network has succumbed to the reality-show dreck that pollutes other
once-innovative TV networks, like MTV and VH1. �The Next Food Network
Star� has little to do with cooking. It�s not as skanky and poorly
behaved as �Daisy of Love� or �The Bachelorette,� but it�s still an
excuse to ask a group of Americans to behave like children and let the
rest of us stare at them, watching and waiting with bated breath to see
which one will cry/scream/curse next, all dressed up as an exercise in
finding smooth TV presenters. Not chefs; presenters. Let�s look at the
promo for this season�s installment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCP9ch6M4U4
In all of those messages the contestants flash to host Bobby Flay, not
one of them mentions culinary skill, the ability to create fantastic
food, to desire to inspire viewers to take their dinners and their
nutrition and their health into their own hands and play a role in
making real food prepared by real people the central point of our lives
again. (By the way, nice cameo at the end of the clip!)
I get it, Bob. You�re looking for an entertainer, a potential host for a
Food Network show who can chit-chat for 22 minutes without making
viewers start wondering if the dog needs a walk. But the problem is that
that�s all your looking for on �The Next Food Network Star.� I�ve
watched, and you and your fellow judges spend a lot of time critiquing
the contestants for how they handle being in front of the camera,
whether the stories they tell about their childhood seem authentic. You
test them on how well they can describe a recipe during a live broadcast
while their earpiece is on the fritz. Do you really expect that I�m
going to tune into the Food Network because your chefs are deft with an
IFB?
Last week, I watched contestant Melissa d�Arabian choke back tears as
two other chefs intimated that she didn�t actually cook her meal
herself. In your blog about �The Next Food Network Star,� you write
about how contestant Debbie Lee, in a recent episode, �endangered her
teammates by not buying every item they requested� and how �her actions
may have been self-serving and had negative repercussions� in the
challenge. You discuss with commenters whether contestant Brett August
is a condescending cad or just a lovable rogue. You mention that the
judges are �a panel of experts who [sic] understands the demands of food
celebrity.� It all perpetuates the sad, basic tenet of the show: that
being a host on The Food Network is a game, filled with intrigue and
backstabbing and likability and politicking, a contest to see which
dancing sideshow performer can distract us the most under jerry-rigged
and unrealistic conditions. Oh, and if they can actually cook, too�
well, that�s a nice bonus.
And what�s �The Next Food Network Star� gotten you, anyway, Bob? It�s
certainly not stars. Season 3 winner Amy Finley filmed one season of
shows for you and then walked away. Season 1 winners Dan Smith and Steve
McDonough and Season 4 winner Aaron McCargo, Jr. are barely blips on
your TV schedule. The only �star� to come out of this series is season 2
winner Guy Fieri, and that�s only because he�s now the spokesman for TGI
Friday�s restaurants � which is just this shy of your star chef Sandra
Lee shilling for Kentucky Fried Chicken in the embarrassing department.
Is that the kind of Food Network star you were looking for? Because I
think you�d be hard pressed to find anyone in your immense and famous
Food Network kitchens who thinks TGI Friday�s is the pinnacle toward
which your network should be climbing.
(By the way, I didn�t remember Smith, McDonough and McCargo�s names off
the top of my head; I found them by looking in the �Where Are They Now?�
section of your Web site. The fact that that exists kind of proves my
point.)
As a long-time Food Network viewer, Bob, my patience is wearing thin.
Put the �Rock of Love� playbook down and please get back to the kitchen.
Sincerely,
matthew
--
It is simply breathtaking to watch the glee and abandon with which
the liberal media and the Angry Left have been attempting to turn
our military victory in Iraq into a second Vietnam quagmire. Too bad
for them, it's failing.
T.C.
news:D6GdnTEepLtU8NTX...@giganews.com...
> True/Slant's Matthew Greenberg's impassioned letter to Bob Tuschman,
> Senior VP at the Food Network....asking him to stop.
>
> Memo to Food Network: Your programming is going rancid
>
> Greenberg hits on all the things I dislike about the Food Network, and
> especially, "The Next Food Network Star."
>
> http://tinyurl.com/DearFoodNetwork
>
> -
> Memo to Food Network: Your programming is going rancid
> LOUISVILLE, KY - MAY 02: Guy Fieri arrives at ...
>
> Guy Fieri, the last Food Network star? (Image by Getty Images via
> Daylife)
>
> Worst Episode Ever
> World Headquarters
> June 21, 2009
>
> Bob Tuschman
> Senior Vice President, Programming and Production
> The Food Network
>
> Dear Mr. Tuschman:
>
> May I call you "Bob?" I'm assuming I can because your network's Web site
> hosts a blog for you called "Bob's Blog," so I'm going to take that as
> an invitation to speak with you on a first-name basis.
>
> Dear Bob:
>
> Because I know you're more than just a judge on your network's "The Next
> executive behind the creation of the show and the man responsible for
> person to which an important and, sadly, unpalatable message must be
> delivered:
>
> "The Next Food Network Star" sucks. It's not entertaining. It has
> nothing to do with actual culinary skill. And it's another troubling
> step in the ultimate devaluation of your network's brand.
>
> All of which is unfortunate enough, but it is made doubly so by the fact
> that I can simply change channels and watch Bravo's "Top Chef Masters,"
> a cooking competition-reality show that also premiered this month and
> which, while it may have its faults, actually appeals to the foodie in
> me. Maybe because it's actually about cooking food, not hissy fits and
> cascades of jittery, bitter tears.
>
> I'm sorry to be so blunt, Bob, because I think you've done some great
> work in the past. Your official bio on The Food Network Web site notes
> that you "developed and executive-produced the top performing series 30
> Minute Meals, Barefoot Contessa and Everyday Italian among others."
>
> Food Network at the start of this decade. It was your stars - Ina and
> Giada and Mario (man, I love Mario Batali - I used to go to the gym
> during the day and time my treadmill workouts to his show; one episode
> of "Molto Mario" plus the first five minutes of "Sara's Secrets" was
> equal to three miles on the rubber belt) who showed me that real cooking
> with real ingredients wasn't out of my bachelor reach; that it wasn't a
> skill set open only to a select cadre of secret society denizens. Throw
> in Dave Lieberman (finally! a TV chef with a kitchen as small as mine),
> turned down - and you had me hooked on amping up my knife skills.
>
> But the Food Network has lost its way, Bob. You let Anthony Bourdain go.
> You cancelled Mario's show, and Sara's, too. Yes, you've brought in new
> chefs, but you've relegated all the actual cooking shows to weekends and
> daytime, including the best ones with your most appealing personalities
> celebrities.
>
> Nowadays, prime time on the Food Network is all about competition shows
> well, that's a nice bonus.
>
> And what's "The Next Food Network Star" gotten you, anyway, Bob? It's
> certainly not stars. Season 3 winner Amy Finley filmed one season of
> shows for you and then walked away. Season 1 winners Dan Smith and Steve
> McDonough and Season 4 winner Aaron McCargo, Jr. are barely blips on
> your TV schedule. The only "star" to come out of this series is season 2
> winner Guy Fieri, and that's only because he's now the spokesman for TGI
> Lee shilling for Kentucky Fried Chicken in the embarrassing department.
> Is that the kind of Food Network star you were looking for? Because I
> think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone in your immense and famous
> Food Network kitchens who thinks TGI Friday's is the pinnacle toward
> which your network should be climbing.
>
> (By the way, I didn't remember Smith, McDonough and McCargo's names off
> the top of my head; I found them by looking in the "Where Are They Now?"
> section of your Web site. The fact that that exists kind of proves my
> point.)
>
> As a long-time Food Network viewer, Bob, my patience is wearing thin.
> Put the "Rock of Love" playbook down and please get back to the kitchen.
>
> Sincerely,
> matthew
>
> --
> It is simply breathtaking to watch the glee and abandon with which
> the liberal media and the Angry Left have been attempting to turn
> our military victory in Iraq into a second Vietnam quagmire. Too bad
> for them, it's failing.
>
My god! Best piece of prose I have read in the last year!
Steve Calvin
> True/Slant's Matthew Greenberg's impassioned letter to Bob Tuschman,
> Senior VP at the Food Network....asking him to stop.
>
> Memo to Food Network: Your programming is going rancid
Where the h*ll's that standing ovation smilie?
Maybe
> “The Next Food Network Star” sucks. It’s not entertaining. It has
> nothing to do with actual culinary skill. And it’s another troubling
> step in the ultimate devaluation of your network’s brand.
>
I don't understand why the chick who served raw food twice, yes,
*twice* is still there and didn't get eliminated yet. She serves raw
food, she knows it is raw and doesn't say anything. The judges are
lucky to still be alive considering the second raw meal she served was
a hamburger. I would have fired her right then and there after
spitting out the raw hamburger.
Maybe...she could have at least said she didn't have time to cook it
record hunter
Plus, she's so odd-looking, it's hard to imagine they had more than
ten finalists for this year's show.
Anim8rFSK
<c605e9fd-5e47-48cf...@h8g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>,
Maybe <Maybe...@aol.com> wrote:
Maybe they thought she thought she was Bobby Flay.
--
Uncle Jack: "Will, you're invisible!"
Will: "Invisible? I can't be! I can touch myself!"
--actual dialog from third season LAND OF THE LOST
Anim8rFSK
she said to be sure to salt the water like crazy before hard boiling
eggs and the shells would come off easier. I laughed, but I had eggs to
boil the next day and thought 'couldn't hurt'
Um
It seems to have worked. Unless I just got really lucky with this batch
of eggs.
I don't even understand the theoretical basis for this. Anybody?
donEagles
"Anim8rFSK" <ANIM...@cox.net> wrote in message
news:ANIM8Rfsk-0BD57...@news.dc1.easynews.com...
Add vinegar or salt to the boiling water. A teaspoon of vinegar and a couple
pinches of salt will help seal any potential cracks before they get a chance
to do any significant damage to the rest of the shell. Add either salt or
vinegar, or even both, just after you add the water to the saucepan or pot.
KC
wrote:
Yes, after she did her presentation, she should have told them that it
wasn't thoroughly cooked, but that didn't really bother me for a
couple of reasons. First because as a TV host, she wouldn't be
serving food to people. Food Network hosts serve 2 purposes: to
entertain and to get viewers thinking about food and flavor
combinations (or download actual recipes).
Now, RawChick isn't entertaining, so that will ultimately be her
downfall, but let's say she had charisma. Her show would be geared
toward people who want to eat her type of healthy eating, so she might
have gotten viewers to consider a turkey burger instead of beef and
she would have mentioned to cook it through, since she *knew* it
should be (and her recipe would surely have mentioned the proper
temp).
No FN host lives under the beat-the-clock nonsense they put these
people through. I'd bet lots of food prepared on air isn't edible.
There are a bunch of these shows, Chopped is another one, where the
people race around, cut themselves, slip and fall, etc. in an attempt
to do something they'd never do in real life. It's like the FN's
version of Wipeout.
How many times have we seen someone comment that they wanted to do
some recipe (creme brulee, souffle, etc.), but couldn't because
physics just don't allow it in the time allowed? It's ridiculous and
tells me FN cares more about entertainment that actual food education.
KC
shawn
>
>How many times have we seen someone comment that they wanted to do
>some recipe (creme brulee, souffle, etc.), but couldn't because
>physics just don't allow it in the time allowed? It's ridiculous and
>tells me FN cares more about entertainment that actual food education.
Of course you are right. They know very well that their new audience
isn't that interested in learning how to cook complex food. They want
to see food porn and cooking wrecks. That's why shows like "Hells
Kitchen" do so well because there's a big audience that loves to see
train wrecks. They used to spend most of their time providing real
food education. Now there are only a few shows that concentrate on
that with "Good Eats" being the best example of a show that is
educational and entertaining.
KC
wrote:
Oh, so true. I learned how to brine a turkey and what makes chocolate
chip cookies tick and why several things I used to do weren't getting
the results I wanted from "Good Eats".
But you are right that these shows have gone from teaching and
inspiring to catch phrases like "Bam!" and live audiences that applaud
wildly when the cook adds some ingredient ("Oh, bacon!") to shows that
just feature cooks running and sweating and falling. It reminds me of
an old George Carlin routine where he observed that we don't watch car
racing for the racing, we watch it for the crashes.
It's one thing for FN to go along with the public's apparent taste for
disaster, it's another to judge these contestants as if they actually
care if they can cook. Maybe I'm just grumpy and sick of hearing
judges on any of these shows tell contestants, "You need to step it
up." Poor Debbie gets smashed in the face by a baking sheet and they
imply that she should have sucked it up and not let it affect her
presentation.
KC
Ubiquitous
> Maybe <Maybe...@aol.com> wrote:
>> I don't understand why the chick who served raw food twice, yes,
>> *twice* is still there and didn't get eliminated yet. She serves raw
>> food, she knows it is raw and doesn't say anything. The judges are
>> lucky to still be alive considering the second raw meal she served
>> was a hamburger. I would have fired her right then and there after
>> spitting out the raw hamburger.
>>
>> Maybe...she could have at least said she didn't have time to cook it
>
>Maybe they thought she thought she was Bobby Flay.
You meant SLop. Even with his man-boobs, it's hard to mistake him
for a woman!
--
It's now time for healing, and for fixing the damage the Democrats did
to America.
Anim8rFSK
Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
> ANIM...@cox.net wrote:
> > Maybe <Maybe...@aol.com> wrote:
>
> >> I don't understand why the chick who served raw food twice, yes,
> >> *twice* is still there and didn't get eliminated yet. She serves raw
> >> food, she knows it is raw and doesn't say anything. The judges are
> >> lucky to still be alive considering the second raw meal she served
> >> was a hamburger. I would have fired her right then and there after
> >> spitting out the raw hamburger.
> >>
> >> Maybe...she could have at least said she didn't have time to cook it
> >
> >Maybe they thought she thought she was Bobby Flay.
>
> You meant SLop. Even with his man-boobs, it's hard to mistake him
> for a woman!
There's no way to mistake him for a man.