By Kimberley Dadds Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may prefer to avoid.
Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
Sarah Platt's final scene in Coronation Street this Christmas will be based on classic 1940s movie Brief Encounter, it has been revealed.
Actress Tina O'Brien will say farewell to the soap next month and like in the epic film, her character Sarah will leave her man Jason Grimshaw (Ryan Thomas) standing alone on a train platform.
Scriptwriters have admitted that they used the film as a basis for the goodbye, which will see Platt being offered the chance of a new life by her long-lost uncle who invites her to live with him in Italy.
The pair are about to board the train to the airport when Jason decides to not move abroad with her and Sarah continues without him.
A show insider said: "There won’t be a dry eye in the house. It is pure romantic fiction. This is the final chapter of a love story which was destined to fail."
> By Kimberley Dadds > Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may prefer to > avoid.
> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
> Sarah Platt's final scene in Coronation Street this Christmas will be > based on classic 1940s movie Brief Encounter, it has been revealed.
> Actress Tina O'Brien will say farewell to the soap next month and like > in the epic film, her character Sarah will leave her man Jason Grimshaw > (Ryan Thomas) standing alone on a train platform.
> Scriptwriters have admitted that they used the film as a basis for the > goodbye, which will see Platt being offered the chance of a new life by > her long-lost uncle who invites her to live with him in Italy.
> The pair are about to board the train to the airport when Jason decides > to not move abroad with her and Sarah continues without him.
> A show insider said: "There won’t be a dry eye in the house. It is pure > romantic fiction. This is the final chapter of a love story which was > destined to fail."
> By Kimberley Dadds > Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may > prefer to avoid.
> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
> Sarah Platt's final scene in Coronation Street this Christmas will > be based on classic 1940s movie Brief Encounter, it has been > revealed.
> Actress Tina O'Brien will say farewell to the soap next month and > like in the epic film, her character Sarah will leave her man Jason > Grimshaw (Ryan Thomas) standing alone on a train platform.
> Scriptwriters have admitted that they used the film as a basis for > the goodbye, which will see Platt being offered the chance of a new > life by her long-lost uncle who invites her to live with him in > Italy.
> The pair are about to board the train to the airport when Jason > decides to not move abroad with her and Sarah continues without him.
I thought catching a train to exotic parts whilst leaving a partner behind had already been done??
And - uh - another "long-lost" uncle, this time in Italy, or the old one handily recycled??
And comparing *this* to "Brief Encounter"? Well words just fail me...
>> By Kimberley Dadds >> Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may >> prefer to avoid.
>> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
>> Sarah Platt's final scene in Coronation Street this Christmas will >> be based on classic 1940s movie Brief Encounter, it has been >> revealed.
>> Actress Tina O'Brien will say farewell to the soap next month and >> like in the epic film, her character Sarah will leave her man Jason >> Grimshaw (Ryan Thomas) standing alone on a train platform.
>> Scriptwriters have admitted that they used the film as a basis for >> the goodbye, which will see Platt being offered the chance of a new >> life by her long-lost uncle who invites her to live with him in >> Italy.
>> The pair are about to board the train to the airport when Jason >> decides to not move abroad with her and Sarah continues without him.
> I thought catching a train to exotic parts whilst leaving a partner > behind had already been done??
Egg *zack* erly! They did it with Rursie and Craig in Paris.
> And - uh - another "long-lost" uncle, this time in Italy, or the old > one handily recycled??
It could be Stephen Reid, but why would he move from Canada to Italy? If not, then it will be another hasty retcon. Brian was an only child, so there is room for a retcon there. Maybe Ivy was a scarlet woman before she met Bert. On the other hand, it could turn out that Audreh had yet another son that she kept quiet about. It has the potential to be very silly.
Here's a question. After about a decade of having no contact with his family, why would Stephen Reid suddenly offer them a home with him? Or, if it is someone else, why would he offer them a home having *never* had any contact with them?
It could be that it isn't an "uncle" at all. It could be Brian's cousin, Ian Latimer, who is now shown to have been Sarah's *real* father. If the PTBs are willing to retcon Susan Barlow's abortion, it will be a simple matter for them to retcon the paternity test that proved Brian to be Sarah's father.
> And comparing *this* to "Brief Encounter"? Well words just fail me...
> It could be that it isn't an "uncle" at all. It could be Brian's > cousin, Ian Latimer, who is now shown to have been Sarah's *real* > father. If the PTBs are willing to retcon Susan Barlow's abortion, > it will be a simple matter for them to retcon the paternity test that > proved Brian to be Sarah's father.
And I've just worked out how they can do it.
Deep down inside, Gail always knew that Ian Latimer was Sarah's father and had always been puzzled as to how the paternity test proved that Brian was the father. She is stunned when Ian gets in contact with her and tells her that advances in genetics and the study of DNA have shown that there were several errors in the paternity test that would not have been apparent to 1980s technology. A reassessment of the data proves that Ian *is* Sarah's father and now he wants Sarah to go and live with him.
Sarah clears off. Gail tearfully waves her off and as the train disappears into the distance, Gail turns to be confronted by a motorbike courier. The courier hands her a letter which he says has been stored in their vault for the past twenty years with specific instructions to be hand delivered to her on this very day at this very time. Gail takes the letter and the camera pulls back to reveal a mysterious woman, wearing a shiny, metallic cloak, observing her from the shadows. Gail is about to read the letter when her attention is drawn to a nasty accident. David Platt had also been lurking in another, entirely different, shadow. In a freak accident, he falls under the wheels of a departing train becoming hideously injured and not expected to survive. In the hostiple later, a mysterious man representing a secretive and shadowy organisation (separate from the government, outside the police, and beyond the United Nations) offers Gail a fortune for the right to use what remains of David for medical experiments. Gail gratefully accepts.
When she gets back home, Gail reads the letter and looks shocked and puzzled. Then, she springs into action. She goes to the University of Manchester (what used to be UMIST) and enrols herself in two degree courses, one for Quantum Mechanics and the other for Genetics. She does very well on her courses, although we never see her studying. There is a precedent for this. Remember that after a couple of lessons at night school, Gail was able to write a computer database suite that revolutionised the admin at the Health Centre. She obviously still works there and earns a decent living, yet we never, ever see her there. No doubt she could fit her studies into the same hidden time, now that she no longer has to work.
After twenty years of study, Gail has gained a PhD in each discipline. As part of a post-doctorate research project, she invents a quantum generator that can make a room bigger inside than out. Gail calls this a "Bigger Inside Generator Applied to Rooms and Shops Etc". Sadly, Gail's skill with acronyms is nowhere near as good as her skill with quantum mechanics and she totally fails to notice that the acronym is BIG ARSE. Gail also invents a time machine for good measure. I mean, once you have a BIG ARSE, a time machine should be child's play. She then sets out on her excellent adventure!
Firstly, she uses her time machine to travel back to December 1960. She installs a BIG ARSE in every house in Coronation Street, as well as the pub. She also cleverly installs a Von Neumann circuit in each BIG ARSE so that they become self-replicating, allowing them to install copies of themselves in houses that are destroyed and rebuilt and in new houses.
Gail then leaps into her time machine and goes forward to 1987. She finds the hostiple technician who is carrying out Sarah's paternity test and bribes him to falsify the report. She shows him how to enter tiny errors that seem to make no sense to him but the final result gives exactly the opposite result to the real one, "proving" that Brian Tilsley is the father, rather than Ian Latimer. She then writes a letter and places it in the safe keeping of a courier company, giving them some very specific delivery instructions.
Back in her time machine again, Gail travels forward to August 2007 and - in disguise - contacts Ian Latimer. She informs him that the paternity test was wrong and that modern genetic techniques will show the truth. Ian contacts the hostiple and insists that the results be reassessed, so finding out the truth.
Once again, Gail travels forward in time but only a matter of months this time. She lurks in the shadows at Manchester Victoria railway station and observes as a motorbike courier delivers a letter to a younger Gail. Seeing David lurking in another, entirely different shadow, she pushes him under the wheels of a departing train.
Satisfied with her work Gail returns to 2027 to find that disaster has overtaken her world. While she was away, the universe has fallen under the thrall of a Dark Overlord who calls himself Darth Whinger. Gail investigates and finds that Darth Whinger is in fact what became of David, cybernetically augmented by a secretive and shadowy organisation (separate from the government, outside the police, and beyond the United Nations) . Whinger has become corrupted by the power that his cyborg body gives him and has broken free of the control of his masters and enslaved the entire universe. Gail decides to tell him off. She invites him back to her house, No 8 Coronation Street, and gives him a jolly good ranting at. Darth Whinger just laughs in her face and leaves, slamming the door behind him. What Whinger doesn't realise is that Gail has set up a super-powered BIG ARSE just outside her front door. The interior of the BIG ARSE has been configured to simulate the universe in every detail. Darth Whinger goes off to darkly lord it over his domain, little knowing that he is now living inside a BIG ARSE, trapped for all eternity.
The grateful population start to worship Gail - especially when she uses her knowledge of genetics to cure every known disease and gives everyone a BIG ARSE so that there is no more overcrowding due to high populations. Eventually the population of Earth come to consider Gail as the messiah of a new religion.
Gail takes one final trip in her time machine. She takes six million dollars from her bank account and travels back to 1973. She uses the money to set up a secretive and shadowy organisation (separate from the government, outside the police, and beyond the United Nations). She provides the organisation with certain design schematics which will allow them to eventually cybernetically augment the human body. After leaving another set of detailed instructions, she travels forward to 1995 and visits Ivy Tilsley in the convent. Gail provides proof of all that has happened and the final revelation - that Gail is now effectively God - gives Ivy a heart attack and she dies.
Gail returns to her future utopia, satisfied that all is right with the world.
Okay... if the PTBs can steal from "Brief Encounter", then I can steal from "Back To The Future", "Star Wars" and "Zenith". There may or may not be other references in there as well...
> > It could be that it isn't an "uncle" at all. It could be Brian's > > cousin, Ian Latimer, who is now shown to have been Sarah's *real* > > father. If the PTBs are willing to retcon Susan Barlow's abortion, > > it will be a simple matter for them to retcon the paternity test that > > proved Brian to be Sarah's father.
> And I've just worked out how they can do it.
> Deep down inside, Gail always knew that Ian Latimer was Sarah's father and > had always been puzzled as to how the paternity test proved that Brian was > the father. She is stunned when Ian gets in contact with her and tells her > that advances in genetics and the study of DNA have shown that there were > several errors in the paternity test that would not have been apparent to > 1980s technology. A reassessment of the data proves that Ian *is* Sarah's > father and now he wants Sarah to go and live with him.
> Sarah clears off. Gail tearfully waves her off and as the train disappears > into the distance, Gail turns to be confronted by a motorbike courier. The > courier hands her a letter which he says has been stored in their vault for > the past twenty years with specific instructions to be hand delivered to her > on this very day at this very time. Gail takes the letter and the camera > pulls back to reveal a mysterious woman, wearing a shiny, metallic cloak, > observing her from the shadows. Gail is about to read the letter when her > attention is drawn to a nasty accident. David Platt had also been lurking in > another, entirely different, shadow. In a freak accident, he falls under the > wheels of a departing train becoming hideously injured and not expected to > survive. In the hostiple later, a mysterious man representing a secretive > and shadowy organisation (separate from the government, outside the police, > and beyond the United Nations) offers Gail a fortune for the right to use > what remains of David for medical experiments. Gail gratefully accepts.
> When she gets back home, Gail reads the letter and looks shocked and > puzzled. Then, she springs into action. She goes to the University of > Manchester (what used to be UMIST) and enrols herself in two degree courses, > one for Quantum Mechanics and the other for Genetics. She does very well on > her courses, although we never see her studying. There is a precedent for > this. Remember that after a couple of lessons at night school, Gail was able > to write a computer database suite that revolutionised the admin at the > Health Centre. She obviously still works there and earns a decent living, > yet we never, ever see her there. No doubt she could fit her studies into > the same hidden time, now that she no longer has to work.
> After twenty years of study, Gail has gained a PhD in each discipline. As > part of a post-doctorate research project, she invents a quantum generator > that can make a room bigger inside than out. Gail calls this a "Bigger > Inside Generator Applied to Rooms and Shops Etc". Sadly, Gail's skill with > acronyms is nowhere near as good as her skill with quantum mechanics and she > totally fails to notice that the acronym is BIG ARSE. Gail also invents a > time machine for good measure. I mean, once you have a BIG ARSE, a time > machine should be child's play. She then sets out on her excellent > adventure!
> Firstly, she uses her time machine to travel back to December 1960. She > installs a BIG ARSE in every house in Coronation Street, as well as the pub. > She also cleverly installs a Von Neumann circuit in each BIG ARSE so that > they become self-replicating, allowing them to install copies of themselves > in houses that are destroyed and rebuilt and in new houses.
> Gail then leaps into her time machine and goes forward to 1987. She finds > the hostiple technician who is carrying out Sarah's paternity test and > bribes him to falsify the report. She shows him how to enter tiny errors > that seem to make no sense to him but the final result gives exactly the > opposite result to the real one, "proving" that Brian Tilsley is the father, > rather than Ian Latimer. She then writes a letter and places it in the safe > keeping of a courier company, giving them some very specific delivery > instructions.
> Back in her time machine again, Gail travels forward to August 2007 and - in > disguise - contacts Ian Latimer. She informs him that the paternity test was > wrong and that modern genetic techniques will show the truth. Ian contacts > the hostiple and insists that the results be reassessed, so finding out the > truth.
> Once again, Gail travels forward in time but only a matter of months this > time. She lurks in the shadows at Manchester Victoria railway station and > observes as a motorbike courier delivers a letter to a younger Gail. Seeing > David lurking in another, entirely different shadow, she pushes him under > the wheels of a departing train.
> Satisfied with her work Gail returns to 2027 to find that disaster has > overtaken her world. While she was away, the universe has fallen under the > thrall of a Dark Overlord who calls himself Darth Whinger. Gail > investigates and finds that Darth Whinger is in fact what became of David, > cybernetically augmented by a secretive and shadowy organisation (separate > from the government, outside the police, and beyond the United Nations) . > Whinger has become corrupted by the power that his cyborg body gives him and > has broken free of the control of his masters and enslaved the entire > universe. Gail decides to tell him off. She invites him back to her house, > No 8 Coronation Street, and gives him a jolly good ranting at. Darth Whinger > just laughs in her face and leaves, slamming the door behind him. What > Whinger doesn't realise is that Gail has set up a super-powered BIG ARSE > just outside her front door. The interior of the BIG ARSE has been > configured to simulate the universe in every detail. Darth Whinger goes off > to darkly lord it over his domain, little knowing that he is now living > inside a BIG ARSE, trapped for all eternity.
> The grateful population start to worship Gail - especially when she uses her > knowledge of genetics to cure every known disease and gives everyone a BIG > ARSE so that there is no more overcrowding due to high populations. > Eventually the population of Earth come to consider Gail as the messiah of a > new religion.
> Gail takes one final trip in her time machine. She takes six million > dollars from her bank account and travels back to 1973. She uses the money > to set up a secretive and shadowy organisation (separate from the > government, outside the police, and beyond the United Nations). She provides > the organisation with certain design schematics which will allow them to > eventually cybernetically augment the human body. After leaving another set > of detailed instructions, she travels forward to 1995 and visits Ivy Tilsley > in the convent. Gail provides proof of all that has happened and the final > revelation - that Gail is now effectively God - gives Ivy a heart attack and > she dies.
> Gail returns to her future utopia, satisfied that all is right with the > world.
> Okay... if the PTBs can steal from "Brief Encounter", then I can steal > from "Back To The Future", "Star Wars" and "Zenith". There may or may not > be other references in there as well...
> By Kimberley Dadds > Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may prefer to > avoid.
> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
> Sarah Platt's final scene in Coronation Street this Christmas will be > based on classic 1940s movie Brief Encounter, it has been revealed.
> Actress Tina O'Brien will say farewell to the soap next month and like > in the epic film, her character Sarah will leave her man Jason Grimshaw > (Ryan Thomas) standing alone on a train platform.
ROFL!!! Corrie does 'Brief Encounter'? Yeah, right. Will they shoot it in black and white for greater similitude? Will Rachmaninov be playing in the background, or will it be the Manics as usual?
Maybe they should think of more classic films on which to base plotlines. How about 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' restyled as the 'The Morton Stanley Knife Killing Spree'? I'd pay good money to see that lot hacked to pieces with a DIY tool.
> Scriptwriters have admitted that they used the film as a basis for the > goodbye, which will see Platt being offered the chance of a new life by > her long-lost uncle who invites her to live with him in Italy.
This shows the extent of the contempt in which we are all held by the producers of Corrie, who clearly don't believe we're clever enough not to fall for yet another pile of 'long-lost relative' horse shit. Why can't they simply pack her off to Canada with the 'long-lost uncle' who turned up a few years ago?
> The pair are about to board the train to the airport when Jason decides > to not move abroad with her and Sarah continues without him. > A show insider said: "There won't be a dry eye in the house.
There must be a book of "Spoiler Cliches" that these insiders use. "There won't be a dry eye in the house"? Probably not - but it will most likely be from tears of laughter as we watch Jason do his Celia Johnson impression. (After all, it was Celia who was left behind). Will Jason then go back home, only to have Eileen look up from her Sudoku puzzle and say, "You've been a long way away....thank you for coming back to me." ?
And will Sara be 'left reeling'? That's another 'show insider' favourite. Have you ever 'reeled'? No, neither am I, but at some point in their lives, every soap character is 'left reeling' by something. Is it a bit like an attack of the vapours? A giddy spell? An epileptic fit? I'd love to see someone actually 'reel'.
>It is pure > romantic fiction. This is the final chapter of a love story which was > destined to fail."
ROFL. Dear oh dear oh dear: there's just not enough vomit in the world.......
> Gail returns to her future utopia, satisfied that all is right with the > world. > Okay... if the PTBs can steal from "Brief Encounter", then I can steal > from "Back To The Future", "Star Wars" and "Zenith". There may or may not > be other references in there as well...
Are you sure you don't write for the soaps ?????
Ya should, ya know !
-- The Canadian Curmudgeon (in sunnyish, 7C, Calgary)
End Global warming ~ eliminate the cause ~ exterminate Al Gore
CP wrote: > On Nov 13, 7:21 am, alanG <alanhe...@tack.com> wrote: >> From DigitalSpy
>> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
>> Monday, November 12 2007, 12:54 GMT
>> By Kimberley Dadds >> Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may prefer to >> avoid.
>> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
>> Sarah Platt's final scene in Coronation Street this Christmas will be >> based on classic 1940s movie Brief Encounter, it has been revealed.
>> Actress Tina O'Brien will say farewell to the soap next month and like >> in the epic film, her character Sarah will leave her man Jason Grimshaw >> (Ryan Thomas) standing alone on a train platform.
> ROFL!!! Corrie does 'Brief Encounter'? Yeah, right. Will they shoot it > in black and white for greater similitude? Will Rachmaninov be playing > in the background, or will it be the Manics as usual?
> Maybe they should think of more classic films on which to base > plotlines. How about 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' restyled as the > 'The Morton Stanley Knife Killing Spree'? I'd pay good money to see > that lot hacked to pieces with a DIY tool.
>> Scriptwriters have admitted that they used the film as a basis for the >> goodbye, which will see Platt being offered the chance of a new life by >> her long-lost uncle who invites her to live with him in Italy.
> This shows the extent of the contempt in which we are all held by the > producers of Corrie, who clearly don't believe we're clever enough not > to fall for yet another pile of 'long-lost relative' horse shit. Why > can't they simply pack her off to Canada with the 'long-lost uncle' > who turned up a few years ago?
>> The pair are about to board the train to the airport when Jason decides >> to not move abroad with her and Sarah continues without him. >> A show insider said: "There won't be a dry eye in the house.
> There must be a book of "Spoiler Cliches" that these insiders use. > "There won't be a dry eye in the house"? Probably not - but it will > most likely be from tears of laughter as we watch Jason do his Celia > Johnson impression. (After all, it was Celia who was left behind). > Will Jason then go back home, only to have Eileen look up from her > Sudoku puzzle and say, "You've been a long way away....thank you for > coming back to me." ?
Oh no, Jason is going to imitate Rosie Webster and be skriking on the plaform "Sarahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
And it will be Uncle Stephen the "long lost" uncle.
Diane Johnston wrote: > CP wrote: >> On Nov 13, 7:21 am, alanG <alanhe...@tack.com> wrote: >>> From DigitalSpy
>>> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
>>> Monday, November 12 2007, 12:54 GMT
>>> By Kimberley Dadds >>> Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may >>> prefer to avoid.
>>> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
>>> Sarah Platt's final scene in Coronation Street this Christmas will >>> be based on classic 1940s movie Brief Encounter, it has been >>> revealed. Actress Tina O'Brien will say farewell to the soap next month >>> and >>> like in the epic film, her character Sarah will leave her man Jason >>> Grimshaw (Ryan Thomas) standing alone on a train platform.
>> ROFL!!! Corrie does 'Brief Encounter'? Yeah, right. Will they shoot >> it in black and white for greater similitude? Will Rachmaninov be >> playing in the background, or will it be the Manics as usual?
>> Maybe they should think of more classic films on which to base >> plotlines. How about 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' restyled as the >> 'The Morton Stanley Knife Killing Spree'? I'd pay good money to see >> that lot hacked to pieces with a DIY tool.
>>> Scriptwriters have admitted that they used the film as a basis for >>> the goodbye, which will see Platt being offered the chance of a new >>> life by her long-lost uncle who invites her to live with him in >>> Italy.
>> This shows the extent of the contempt in which we are all held by the >> producers of Corrie, who clearly don't believe we're clever enough >> not to fall for yet another pile of 'long-lost relative' horse shit. >> Why can't they simply pack her off to Canada with the 'long-lost >> uncle' who turned up a few years ago?
>>> The pair are about to board the train to the airport when Jason >>> decides to not move abroad with her and Sarah continues without him. >>> A show insider said: "There won't be a dry eye in the house.
>> There must be a book of "Spoiler Cliches" that these insiders use. >> "There won't be a dry eye in the house"? Probably not - but it will >> most likely be from tears of laughter as we watch Jason do his Celia >> Johnson impression. (After all, it was Celia who was left behind). >> Will Jason then go back home, only to have Eileen look up from her >> Sudoku puzzle and say, "You've been a long way away....thank you for >> coming back to me." ?
> Oh no, Jason is going to imitate Rosie Webster and be skriking on > the plaform "Sarahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
> And it will be Uncle Stephen the "long lost" uncle.
> Diane Johnston wrote: >> CP wrote: >>> On Nov 13, 7:21 am, alanG <alanhe...@tack.com> wrote: >>>> From DigitalSpy
>>>> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
>>>> Monday, November 12 2007, 12:54 GMT
>>>> By Kimberley Dadds >>>> Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may >>>> prefer to avoid.
>>>> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
>>>> Sarah Platt's final scene in Coronation Street this Christmas will >>>> be based on classic 1940s movie Brief Encounter, it has been >>>> revealed. Actress Tina O'Brien will say farewell to the soap next month >>>> and >>>> like in the epic film, her character Sarah will leave her man Jason >>>> Grimshaw (Ryan Thomas) standing alone on a train platform. >>> ROFL!!! Corrie does 'Brief Encounter'? Yeah, right. Will they shoot >>> it in black and white for greater similitude? Will Rachmaninov be >>> playing in the background, or will it be the Manics as usual?
>>> Maybe they should think of more classic films on which to base >>> plotlines. How about 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' restyled as the >>> 'The Morton Stanley Knife Killing Spree'? I'd pay good money to see >>> that lot hacked to pieces with a DIY tool.
>>>> Scriptwriters have admitted that they used the film as a basis for >>>> the goodbye, which will see Platt being offered the chance of a new >>>> life by her long-lost uncle who invites her to live with him in >>>> Italy. >>> This shows the extent of the contempt in which we are all held by the >>> producers of Corrie, who clearly don't believe we're clever enough >>> not to fall for yet another pile of 'long-lost relative' horse shit. >>> Why can't they simply pack her off to Canada with the 'long-lost >>> uncle' who turned up a few years ago?
>>>> The pair are about to board the train to the airport when Jason >>>> decides to not move abroad with her and Sarah continues without him. >>>> A show insider said: "There won't be a dry eye in the house. >>> There must be a book of "Spoiler Cliches" that these insiders use. >>> "There won't be a dry eye in the house"? Probably not - but it will >>> most likely be from tears of laughter as we watch Jason do his Celia >>> Johnson impression. (After all, it was Celia who was left behind). >>> Will Jason then go back home, only to have Eileen look up from her >>> Sudoku puzzle and say, "You've been a long way away....thank you for >>> coming back to me." ? >> Oh no, Jason is going to imitate Rosie Webster and be skriking on >> the plaform "Sarahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
>> And it will be Uncle Stephen the "long lost" uncle.
>> It could be that it isn't an "uncle" at all. It could be Brian's >> cousin, Ian Latimer, who is now shown to have been Sarah's *real* >> father. If the PTBs are willing to retcon Susan Barlow's abortion, >> it will be a simple matter for them to retcon the paternity test that >> proved Brian to be Sarah's father.
> And I've just worked out how they can do it.
> Deep down inside, Gail always knew that Ian Latimer was Sarah's > father and had always been puzzled as to how the paternity test > proved that Brian was the father. She is stunned when Ian gets in > contact with her and tells her that advances in genetics and the > study of DNA have shown that there were several errors in the > paternity test that would not have been apparent to 1980s technology. > A reassessment of the data proves that Ian *is* Sarah's father and > now he wants Sarah to go and live with him. > Sarah clears off. Gail tearfully waves her off and as the train > disappears into the distance, Gail turns to be confronted by a > motorbike courier. The courier hands her a letter which he says has > been stored in their vault for the past twenty years with specific > instructions to be hand delivered to her on this very day at this > very time. Gail takes the letter and the camera pulls back to reveal > a mysterious woman, wearing a shiny, metallic cloak, observing her > from the shadows. Gail is about to read the letter when her > attention is drawn to a nasty accident. David Platt had also been > lurking in another, entirely different, shadow. In a freak accident, > he falls under the wheels of a departing train becoming hideously > injured and not expected to survive. In the hostiple later, a > mysterious man representing a secretive and shadowy organisation > (separate from the government, outside the police, and beyond the > United Nations) offers Gail a fortune for the right to use what > remains of David for medical experiments. Gail gratefully accepts. > When she gets back home, Gail reads the letter and looks shocked and > puzzled. Then, she springs into action. She goes to the University of > Manchester (what used to be UMIST) and enrols herself in two degree > courses, one for Quantum Mechanics and the other for Genetics. She > does very well on her courses, although we never see her studying. > There is a precedent for this. Remember that after a couple of > lessons at night school, Gail was able to write a computer database > suite that revolutionised the admin at the Health Centre. She > obviously still works there and earns a decent living, yet we never, > ever see her there. No doubt she could fit her studies into the same > hidden time, now that she no longer has to work. > After twenty years of study, Gail has gained a PhD in each > discipline. As part of a post-doctorate research project, she invents > a quantum generator that can make a room bigger inside than out. Gail > calls this a "Bigger Inside Generator Applied to Rooms and Shops > Etc". Sadly, Gail's skill with acronyms is nowhere near as good as > her skill with quantum mechanics and she totally fails to notice that > the acronym is BIG ARSE. Gail also invents a time machine for good > measure. I mean, once you have a BIG ARSE, a time machine should be > child's play. She then sets out on her excellent adventure!
> Firstly, she uses her time machine to travel back to December 1960. > She installs a BIG ARSE in every house in Coronation Street, as well > as the pub. She also cleverly installs a Von Neumann circuit in each > BIG ARSE so that they become self-replicating, allowing them to > install copies of themselves in houses that are destroyed and rebuilt > and in new houses. > Gail then leaps into her time machine and goes forward to 1987. She > finds the hostiple technician who is carrying out Sarah's paternity > test and bribes him to falsify the report. She shows him how to enter > tiny errors that seem to make no sense to him but the final result > gives exactly the opposite result to the real one, "proving" that > Brian Tilsley is the father, rather than Ian Latimer. She then > writes a letter and places it in the safe keeping of a courier > company, giving them some very specific delivery instructions.
> Back in her time machine again, Gail travels forward to August 2007 > and - in disguise - contacts Ian Latimer. She informs him that the > paternity test was wrong and that modern genetic techniques will show > the truth. Ian contacts the hostiple and insists that the results be > reassessed, so finding out the truth.
> Once again, Gail travels forward in time but only a matter of months > this time. She lurks in the shadows at Manchester Victoria railway > station and observes as a motorbike courier delivers a letter to a > younger Gail. Seeing David lurking in another, entirely different > shadow, she pushes him under the wheels of a departing train.
> Satisfied with her work Gail returns to 2027 to find that disaster has > overtaken her world. While she was away, the universe has fallen > under the thrall of a Dark Overlord who calls himself Darth Whinger. Gail > investigates and finds that Darth Whinger is in fact what became > of David, cybernetically augmented by a secretive and shadowy > organisation (separate from the government, outside the police, and > beyond the United Nations) . Whinger has become corrupted by the > power that his cyborg body gives him and has broken free of the > control of his masters and enslaved the entire universe. Gail decides > to tell him off. She invites him back to her house, No 8 Coronation > Street, and gives him a jolly good ranting at. Darth Whinger just > laughs in her face and leaves, slamming the door behind him. What > Whinger doesn't realise is that Gail has set up a super-powered BIG > ARSE just outside her front door. The interior of the BIG ARSE has > been configured to simulate the universe in every detail. Darth > Whinger goes off to darkly lord it over his domain, little knowing > that he is now living inside a BIG ARSE, trapped for all eternity. > The grateful population start to worship Gail - especially when she > uses her knowledge of genetics to cure every known disease and gives > everyone a BIG ARSE so that there is no more overcrowding due to high > populations. Eventually the population of Earth come to consider Gail > as the messiah of a new religion.
> Gail takes one final trip in her time machine. She takes six million > dollars from her bank account and travels back to 1973. She uses the > money to set up a secretive and shadowy organisation (separate from > the government, outside the police, and beyond the United Nations). > She provides the organisation with certain design schematics which > will allow them to eventually cybernetically augment the human body. After > leaving another set of detailed instructions, she travels > forward to 1995 and visits Ivy Tilsley in the convent. Gail provides > proof of all that has happened and the final revelation - that Gail > is now effectively God - gives Ivy a heart attack and she dies.
> Gail returns to her future utopia, satisfied that all is right with > the world.
Which is where the ratucs time machine came from! -- Gordon Davie Edinburgh, Scotland
"Slipped the surly bonds of Earth...to touch the face of God"
Enzo Matrix wrote: > Diane Johnston wrote: >> CP wrote: >>> On Nov 13, 7:21 am, alanG <alanhe...@tack.com> wrote: >>>> From DigitalSpy
>>>> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
>>>> Monday, November 12 2007, 12:54 GMT
>>>> By Kimberley Dadds >>>> Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may >>>> prefer to avoid.
>>>> Corrie departure like 'Brief Encounter'
>>>> Sarah Platt's final scene in Coronation Street this Christmas will >>>> be based on classic 1940s movie Brief Encounter, it has been >>>> revealed. Actress Tina O'Brien will say farewell to the soap next >>>> month and >>>> like in the epic film, her character Sarah will leave her man Jason >>>> Grimshaw (Ryan Thomas) standing alone on a train platform.
>>> ROFL!!! Corrie does 'Brief Encounter'? Yeah, right. Will they shoot >>> it in black and white for greater similitude? Will Rachmaninov be >>> playing in the background, or will it be the Manics as usual?
>>> Maybe they should think of more classic films on which to base >>> plotlines. How about 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' restyled as the >>> 'The Morton Stanley Knife Killing Spree'? I'd pay good money to see >>> that lot hacked to pieces with a DIY tool.
>>>> Scriptwriters have admitted that they used the film as a basis for >>>> the goodbye, which will see Platt being offered the chance of a new >>>> life by her long-lost uncle who invites her to live with him in >>>> Italy.
>>> This shows the extent of the contempt in which we are all held by >>> the producers of Corrie, who clearly don't believe we're clever >>> enough not to fall for yet another pile of 'long-lost relative' >>> horse shit. Why can't they simply pack her off to Canada with the >>> 'long-lost uncle' who turned up a few years ago?
>>>> The pair are about to board the train to the airport when Jason >>>> decides to not move abroad with her and Sarah continues without >>>> him. A show insider said: "There won't be a dry eye in the house.
>>> There must be a book of "Spoiler Cliches" that these insiders use. >>> "There won't be a dry eye in the house"? Probably not - but it will >>> most likely be from tears of laughter as we watch Jason do his Celia >>> Johnson impression. (After all, it was Celia who was left behind). >>> Will Jason then go back home, only to have Eileen look up from her >>> Sudoku puzzle and say, "You've been a long way away....thank you for >>> coming back to me." ?
>> Oh no, Jason is going to imitate Rosie Webster and be skriking on >> the plaform "Sarahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
>> And it will be Uncle Stephen the "long lost" uncle.
> So why has he left Canada and gone to Italy?
Because RAlex has moved in next door? -- Gordon Davie Edinburgh, Scotland
"Slipped the surly bonds of Earth...to touch the face of God"
>>> It could be that it isn't an "uncle" at all. It could be Brian's >>> cousin, Ian Latimer, who is now shown to have been Sarah's *real* >>> father. If the PTBs are willing to retcon Susan Barlow's abortion, >>> it will be a simple matter for them to retcon the paternity test that >>> proved Brian to be Sarah's father. >> And I've just worked out how they can do it.
I have a great idea for Sarah's leaving, she decides to leave and go and live in Liverpool, to escape the family she get Lloyd to drive her away from Manchester, but David finds out about the plan and steals an old Fiat Punto chases after them and as they go through the Mersey tunnel David swerves in front of them and causing Lloyd to loose control and smash into the central reservation killing himself, Sarah and the Beffenies.
Only trouble this is such an unlikely story nobody would believe it!! ;-)
Mark wrote: > "GordonD" <g.da...@btinternet.com> wrote in message > news:Z6OdnW5_AphfkaLanZ2dnUVZ8t6inZ2d@bt.com... >> Enzo Matrix wrote: >>> She goes to the University of >>> Manchester (what used to be UMIST)
>> I'm so glad she didn't go the the City University of >> Newcastle-upon-Tyne. -- >> Gordon Davie >> Edinburgh, Scotland
>> "Slipped the surly bonds of Earth...to touch the face of God"
Mark wrote: > "GordonD" <g.da...@btinternet.com> wrote in message > news:Z6OdnW5_AphfkaLanZ2dnUVZ8t6inZ2d@bt.com... >> Enzo Matrix wrote: >>> She goes to the University of >>> Manchester (what used to be UMIST)
>> I'm so glad she didn't go the the City University of >> Newcastle-upon-Tyne. -- >> Gordon Davie >> Edinburgh, Scotland
>> "Slipped the surly bonds of Earth...to touch the face of God"
> Gordon behave or you'll get O after you.
She's *always* after me. First couple of times I met her, I could run faster than she could wheel. I thought I was safe by running up a flight of stairs, until I discovered she can THWAP up to the second storey.
Then in York when she was mobile again, I had no chance. -- Gordon Davie Edinburgh, Scotland
"Slipped the surly bonds of Earth...to touch the face of God"
>>>> It could be that it isn't an "uncle" at all. It could be Brian's >>>> cousin, Ian Latimer, who is now shown to have been Sarah's *real* >>>> father. If the PTBs are willing to retcon Susan Barlow's abortion, >>>> it will be a simple matter for them to retcon the paternity test >>>> that proved Brian to be Sarah's father. >>> And I've just worked out how they can do it.
> I have a great idea for Sarah's leaving, she decides to leave and go > and live in Liverpool, to escape the family she get Lloyd to drive > her away from Manchester, but David finds out about the plan and > steals an old Fiat Punto chases after them and as they go through the > Mersey tunnel > David swerves in front of them and causing Lloyd to loose control and > smash into the central reservation killing himself, Sarah and the > Beffenies. > Only trouble this is such an unlikely story nobody would believe it!! > ;-)
Well, car-pole-tunnel syndrome is rarely fatal. -- Gordon Davie Edinburgh, Scotland
"Slipped the surly bonds of Earth...to touch the face of God"
