AMC: Frango Awards Arrival!
Ashley Lambert-Maberly
Hello, and welcome to the Second Annual Awards of the Academy of Ratsafarian
Arts & Science (commonly known as the Frangos)! I'll be broadcasting this
thrilling event live from the Ceara Connor Pavilion at the Enchantment
Building.
We've had an exciting few weeks building up to this triumphant moment, and not
even the trolls protestings outside the pavilion ("No trolls nominated!"
"Trolls rite the best headers!" "Academy snubs 'You All Suck--Get A Life!')
can spoil this magical occasion.
I see the lovely, single Miss Malcom welcoming participants as we proceed
along the red carpet. ("Are you single? Yes? Gay? No? What's your opinion on
MST3K? You don't have one? Go on, get away from me!)
Mr. Lind looks very sharp in his purple leather chauffeur's outfit, handily
parking the limos--tip him well, boys!
I can hear the band strike up "Unchained Melody," the popular love theme from
"Ghost," as celebrity guest star Keith Hamilton Cobb and his harem of wifes
alight from their vehicle. Welcome, Mr & Mrs & Mrs & Mrs & Mrs Cobb!
We're almost at the entrance now--I'm so excited I can hardly speak--there's
Dr. Susan Brumbaugh presiding over the First Aid Clinic for bruised knees and
egos ... and Sean's Dr. Harry is there assisting her, but mainly ministering
to poor Sean. Cheer up, Sean! We'll give you a consolation prize--you can be
a presenter!
The employees of Tink Toyz are already inside the building, I understand,
while the SPERMites are busy handing out buttons to onlookers, with "What She
Did For Love" proudly emblazoned on the front in lilac.
And the band's onto another tune now, "Straight Cat Strut," as soap star Jim
Fitzpatrick (Pierce) arrives, clutching a bottle in his hand and groping the
fans as he passes. Suddenly, parking valet Greg Lind turns into his path! A
narrow escape as Greg brakes to a halt seconds before striking Mr. Fitzpatrick
... but all's well as Greg promises to personally escort Fitzie to the First
Aid Clinic and inspect for any possible damage himself.
And we're inside the building! In moments, the fabulous second annual Frangos
will begin! Take your seats, everybody!
P.S. There's smoking, drinking, and gossiping allowed in the Arlene Vaughn
Memorial Lobby. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves there without
interrupting the ceremony!
[to be continued ...]
Ashley Lambert-Maberly
Keeper of the FAC List,
RATSA Reading Group Moderator
FAC Marianna Starkweather.
[SPERM, LCAS, TT, IHLC,
AFAC Brooke, and AFAC Tad]
Christine Malcom
Ashley Lambert-Maberly <ASH...@oldadm.ubc.ca> wrote:
>I see the lovely, single Miss Malcom welcoming participants as we proceed
>along the red carpet. ("Are you single? Yes? Gay? No? What's your opinion on
>MST3K? You don't have one? Go on, get away from me!)
*snuffle* I'm *that* unsubtle? Geesh...and I haven't even asked any of you
to marry me, sexual orientation notwithstanding.
Christine Malcom (cm...@midway.uchicago.edu) Department of Anthropology
Reigning Queen of AFAC Brooke
FAC Dixie's Kidney, Candidate for Forensic Anthropologist to TPTB
"This is ridiculous! What am I doing here? I'm in the wrong story...."
"Why not both instead? There's the answer if you're clever. Have a child for
warmth and a baker for bread and a prince for...whatever..."
The Baker's Wife---Into the Woods
Ashley Lambert-Maberly
>*snuffle* I'm *that* unsubtle? Geesh...and I haven't even asked any of you
>to marry me, sexual orientation notwithstanding.
>Christine Malcom
Oh, sweetie, maybe I quoted you mistakenly ... in the hub-bub and rush, the
glare of the spotlight, I may have misheard. If so, I apologize profusely.
I'd been up the last 48 hours gluing mints onto trophies and I was a wee bit
tired and dizzy.
So, I'll say it: you're the least unsubtle person in the world, sexual
orientation notwithstanding.
Valley of the Calls
>
>*snuffle* I'm *that* unsubtle? Geesh...and I haven't even asked any of you
>to marry me, sexual orientation notwithstanding.
>
>Reigning Queen of AFAC Brooke
I'll marry you Christine and our wedding motif will be Skulls and
Barbies!!
Matt"it could happen"
FAC Myrtle
Christine Malcom
It's a date, Matt!
Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
(cm...@midway.uchicago.edu) Department of Anthropology
Reigning Queen of AFAC Brooke
your private pager
Annoucing the wedding plans of Christine Malcom and Matty Sparkle!
>Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
I like that idea, we can have Greg walk us both down the aisle!!
Matt"maybe FAC Ruth can make an appearance!"
FAC Myrtle
Christine Malcom
your private pager <Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu> wrote:
>Annoucing the wedding plans of Christine Malcom and Matty Sparkle!
>
>
>>Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
>
>I like that idea, we can have Greg walk us both down the aisle!!
Excellent. And elbow length evening gloves are mandatory for all in attendance.
>Matt"maybe FAC Ruth can make an appearance!"
What for? She'd have no one to counsel since everyone on RATSA has healthy,
satisfying relationships, or is a-ok with themselves while they look for
Mr/Ms right.
Christine "We're all so damned well-adjusted" Malcom (cm...@kimbark.uchicago.edu)
"You thought I didn't have a temper. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, surprise!"
Christine Lavin
Greg Lind
> Annoucing the wedding plans of Christine Malcom and Matty Sparkle!
> >Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
No joints till the reception, Christine
- greg
Cathy Sands
In article <4n2j61$3...@morrow.stanford.edu> Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu (your private pager) writes:
>Annoucing the wedding plans of Christine Malcom and Matty Sparkle!
>>Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
>I like that idea, we can have Greg walk us both down the aisle!!
>Matt"maybe FAC Ruth can make an appearance!"
>FAC Myrtle
FAC Pierce's Paintbrush On:
I wanna do the wedding portrait!!! I'm *very* good, you know. I even have
references. Brooke, oh Brooke... Anybody seen Brooke? What about Janut?
FAC Pierce's Paintbrush Off
Do you need a flower girl? How about a caterer for the reception? I know the
phone number for Frango orders...
Cathy Sands - oh, what will I wear?
FAC Pierce's Paint Brush
V.P. FOC Renee - Keeper of Her Eyebrows
Proud Newbie Sponsor of Tess Wogan - Flame Protected until 6/2/96 by moi!
Susan Lait
Cathy Sands (catheri...@gtri.gatech.edu) wrote:
: FAC Pierce's Paintbrush On:
: I wanna do the wedding portrait!!! I'm *very* good, you know. I even have
: references. Brooke, oh Brooke... Anybody seen Brooke? What about Janut?
: FAC Pierce's Paintbrush Off
Methinks you've seen *far* too much of Brooke already! ;)
Susan "I'll cater!"
FCC Steffi
FAC PVU
SONNY girl
Valley of the Calls
cm...@midway.uchicago.edu (Christine Malcom) writes:
>your private pager <Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
>>
>>I like that idea, we can have Greg walk us both down the aisle!!
>
>
>"You thought I didn't have a temper. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, surprise!"
> Christine Lavin
So now we have to get a color scheme, Black and Neon Pink ?!?
Matt"tulle tulle tulle!"
FAC Myrtle
Valley of the Calls
>
>FAC Pierce's Paintbrush On:
>
>I wanna do the wedding portrait!!! I'm *very* good, you know. I even have
>references. Brooke, oh Brooke... Anybody seen Brooke? What about Janut?
>
>FAC Pierce's Paintbrush Off
>
>phone number for Frango orders...
>
>Cathy Sands - oh, what will I wear?
>FAC Pierce's Paint Brush
Well I have to double check with Christine Dearest and see if she
wants to go "the Serving Spoon," or just low key.."Chicken Shack!"
Matt"I know *I'd* love a wedding portrait"
FAC Myrtle
Christine Malcom
>>
>>I wanna do the wedding portrait!!! I'm *very* good, you know. I even have
>>references. Brooke, oh Brooke... Anybody seen Brooke? What about Janut?
>>
>>FAC Pierce's Paintbrush Off
>>
>>Do you need a flower girl? How about a caterer for the reception? I know the
>>phone number for Frango orders...
>
>wants to go "the Serving Spoon," or just low key.."Chicken Shack!"
Oooooh! A purdified wedding! That would be mortifying to all involved!
I love it!
>Matt"I know *I'd* love a wedding portrait"
A wedding portrait would be lovely, but I guarantee it, we won't be posing
ala Brooke for it. That should be a *big* relief to Cathy's FAC.
Christine Malcom (cm...@midway.uchicago.edu) Department of Anthropology
Reigning Queen of AFAC Brooke
Christine Malcom
>>your private pager <Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu> wrote:
>>>Annoucing the wedding plans of Christine Malcom and Matty Sparkle!
>>>
>>>>Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
>>>
>>>I like that idea, we can have Greg walk us both down the aisle!!
>>
>>
>>Christine"We're all so damned well-adjusted" Malcom
>
>Matt"tulle tulle tulle!"
Yes! Polka dots ala Mini Mouse. Obscenely large bows perched on larger
butts! Crinoline! I don't want my attendants to be able to walk two abreast
down State street due to the size of their skirts!
Christine Malcom-Department of Anthropology (cm...@kimbark.uchicago.edu)
____________________________________________________________________________
The Inca chief kept drums made from the skins of chiefs who had rebelled
against him. The whole body was made into a human drum which seemed to come
to life and quiver grotesquely when the belly was slapped with the hand."
Don Felipe Guaman Poma de Ayala
Patty Sawyer-Ethen
In article <DrAyD...@midway.uchicago.edu>, cm...@midway.uchicago.edu
says...
>
>your private pager <Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu> wrote:
>>Annoucing the wedding plans of Christine Malcom and Matty Sparkle!
>>
>>
>>>Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
>Christine "We're all so damned well-adjusted" Malcom
Boy, I must be tired. I read this as, "Greggles, will you be our best
joint person?" So I envisioned Greg with joints overflowing out of all
of his pockets and one behind each ear! Quite a sight.
I'm kind of behind. When will this blessed event take place and will
Matty become Matty Malcom or Matty Trujillo-Malcom. Christine, will you
be Christine Sparkle? That has a good ring to it.
Patty "going out to buy some evening gloves post-haste"
Christine Malcom
Patty Sawyer-Ethen <psa...@connect.com> wrote:
>>your private pager <Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu> wrote:
>>>Annoucing the wedding plans of Christine Malcom and Matty Sparkle!
>>>
>>>
>Matty become Matty Malcom or Matty Trujillo-Malcom. Christine, will you
>be Christine Sparkle? That has a good ring to it.
Oh...after all my protestations about changing my name, I just don't see how
I can resist being Mrs. Matty Sparkle...it just trips off my tongue...
>Patty "going out to buy some evening gloves post-haste"
Might I recommend Glove me Tender in downtown Chicago (no, I'm not making that
up)
Christine "Helped Boston boy choose a Barbie mug for his friend this weekend in preparation for my new role" Malcom (cm...@midway.uchicago.edu)
Kristy Patterson
In article <DrI92...@midway.uchicago.edu>, cm...@midway.uchicago.edu
(Christine Malcom) wrote:
> Valley of the Calls <Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu> wrote:
> >cm...@midway.uchicago.edu (Christine Malcom) writes:
> >>your private pager <Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu> wrote:
> >>>Annoucing the wedding plans of Christine Malcom and Matty Sparkle!
> >>>
> >>>>Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
> >>>
> >>>I like that idea, we can have Greg walk us both down the aisle!!
> >>
> >>Excellent And elbow length evening gloves are mandatory for all in
attendance.
> >>
> >>Christine"We're all so damned well-adjusted" Malcom
> >
> >So now we have to get a color scheme, Black and Neon Pink ?!?
> >Matt"tulle tulle tulle!"
>
> Yes! Polka dots ala Mini Mouse. Obscenely large bows perched on larger
> butts! Crinoline! I don't want my attendants to be able to walk two abreast
> down State street due to the size of their skirts!
Hey, I have one of those big poofy crinoline things (extra-poofy)!
Does that mean I get to be an attendant?
-Kristy "my attendants are wearing a tasteful shade of plum this June"
--
----------------
Kristy Patterson
Systems Designer, Center for the Evaluative Clinical Sciences
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~kristyp/
Valley of the Calls
>
>Might I recommend Glove me Tender in downtown Chicago (no, I'm not making that
>up)
>
>Christine "Helped Boston boy choose a Barbie mug for his friend this weekend in preparation for my new role" Malcom (cm...@midway.uchicago.edu)
> Department of Anthropology
>Reigning Queen of AFAC Brooke
Glove Me Tender, that's truly hilarious!! Barbie mug, might that be
worked in with our china pattern, Dearest?!?!
Wow, if you take the name Sparkle, that will make you (nick-name)
"Tina Sparkle!!"
Matt"see Strictly Ballroom TAN"
FAC Myrtle
Valley of the Calls
>
>-Kristy "my attendants are wearing a tasteful shade of plum this June"
>Kristy Patterson
>Systems Designer, Center for the Evaluative Clinical Sciences
>http://www.dartmouth.edu/~kristyp/
Congratulations!! I love plum! Best wishes!
Matt
FAC Myrtle
Christine Malcom
On 22 May 1996, Valley of the Calls wrote:
> >Might I recommend Glove me Tender in downtown Chicago (no, I'm not making that
> >up)
> >
> >Christine "Helped Boston boy choose a Barbie mug for his friend this weekend in preparation for my new role" Malcom (cm...@midway.uchicago.edu)
> > Department of Anthropology
> >Reigning Queen of AFAC Brooke
>
> Glove Me Tender, that's truly hilarious!! Barbie mug, might that be
> worked in with our china pattern, Dearest?!?!
Absolutely, my sweet, but we must hope for china from friends in high
places in that case (the mug cost $40!!)
> Wow, if you take the name Sparkle, that will make you (nick-name)
> "Tina Sparkle!!"
I'm *fabulous*
Christine "They call me Tina Sparkle because I'm the most sequiny dancer at
St. Bernadette's" Malcom (cm...@midway.uchicago.edu) Department of Anthropology
Reigning Queen of AFAC Brooke,FAC Dixie's Kidney
Christine Malcom
Kristy Patterson <kri...@dartmouth.edu> wrote:
>(Christine Malcom) wrote:
>> Valley of the Calls <Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu> wrote:
>> >cm...@midway.uchicago.edu (Christine Malcom) writes:
>> >>your private pager <Mat.Tr...@forsythe.stanford.edu> wrote:
>> >>>Annoucing the wedding plans of Christine Malcom and Matty Sparkle!
>> >>>
>> >>>>Christine "Greggles, will you be our joint best person?" Malcom
>> >>>
>> >>>I like that idea, we can have Greg walk us both down the aisle!!
>> >>
>> >>Excellent And elbow length evening gloves are mandatory for all in
>> >>attendance.
>> >>
>> >Matt"tulle tulle tulle!"
>>
>> Yes! Polka dots ala Mini Mouse. Obscenely large bows perched on larger
>> butts! Crinoline! I don't want my attendants to be able to walk two abreast
>> down State street due to the size of their skirts!
>
>Hey, I have one of those big poofy crinoline things (extra-poofy)!
>Does that mean I get to be an attendant?
Oh absoultely! Our wedding is definitely bring your own kitsch, but we love
you all and want each and every one of you to be able to play the surreal
part of your dreams in our nuptials.
Christine Malcom (cm...@midway.uchicago.edu) Department of Anthropology
Reigning Queen of AFAC Brooke, FAC Dixie's Kidney
Gretchen Bolanos
Christine Malcom <cm...@kimbark.uchicago.edu> wrote:
>> Wow, if you take the name Sparkle, that will make you (nick-name)
>> "Tina Sparkle!!"
Can I be Fran just Fran?
>I'm *fabulous*
I think you mean "you're beautiful "
Unless you were referring to Doug who was "magnificent" followed by a
throaty roar which I'll do for you if I see you at the get together in
August.
>Christine "They call me Tina Sparkle because I'm the most sequiny dancer at
>St. Bernadette's" Malcom (cm...@midway.uchicago.edu) Department of Anthropology
>Reigning Queen of AFAC Brooke,FAC Dixie's Kidney
>"This is ridiculous! What am I doing here? I'm in the wrong story...."
>"Why not both instead? There's the answer if you're clever. Have a child for
>warmth and a baker for bread and a prince for...whatever..."
>The Baker's Wife---Into the Woods
Gretchen w/ new address: bola...@mailb.starnetinc.com
FAC WRCW Weathergirl / ILJC keeper of Amanda's baby books
AFAC Brooke:Raising Jamie to be the triple by-pass poster boy?
Very proud sponsor of Crystal H.
Julia A. M. Hayden
In article <4o9nu0$a...@alterdial.UU.NET>,
Gretchen Bolanos <bola...@mailb.starnetinc.com> wrote:
>Christine Malcom <cm...@kimbark.uchicago.edu> wrote:
>
>>> Wow, if you take the name Sparkle, that will make you (nick-name)
>>> "Tina Sparkle!!"
>Can I be Fran just Fran?
My personal heroine has always been the mother.
(Pan-Pacific Grand Prix! Pan-Pacific Grand Prix! Pan Pacific Grand Prix!)
What a great movie. Gosh. I might have to go dig out my copy from my
boxes of things.
-- Julia.
--
____________________________________________________________________________
Julia Hayden <@> Ju...@Virginia.edu <@> ha...@ruby.ils.unc.edu
URL <-> http://atlantic.evsc.virginia.edu/julia/Julia.html
Kristen Clute
Julia Hayden wrote:
> In article <4o9nu0$a...@alterdial.UU.NET>,
> Gretchen Bolanos <bola...@mailb.starnetinc.com> wrote:
> >Christine Malcom <cm...@kimbark.uchicago.edu> wrote:
> >
> >>> Wow, if you take the name Sparkle, that will make you (nick-name)
> >>> "Tina Sparkle!!"
> >Can I be Fran just Fran?
>
> My personal heroine has always been the mother.
> (Pan-Pacific Grand Prix! Pan-Pacific Grand Prix! Pan Pacific Grand Prix!)
OH MY GAWD!!!! Don't let toomces see this! He'll get all misty-eyed and
try to take Paul Mercurio away from me all over again. ;-)
Shirley Hastings is truly a heroine to admire. "Nothing can bother me,
I've got my happy face on."
My personal fav is Liz (wonder how I can get my bangs that high?) "I want
Ken Railings to walk in here & say, 'Pam Shorts broke both her legs & I
want to dance with you!'" Poor Pam. :-) This is a wonderful movie & I
bought it the day after I rented it, had to have it! I knew I liked your
taste Julia! ;-)
LRC, shoot now I have to watch it again too, especially for the fabulous
Doris Day song...Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...
--
"Sure. Fine. Whatever."
The X-Files' Agent Dana Scully - _Syzygy_
Guest Account
In article a...@alterdial.UU.NET, bola...@mailb.starnetinc.com (Gretchen Bolanos) writes:
> Christine Malcom <cm...@kimbark.uchicago.edu> wrote:
>
> >> Wow, if you take the name Sparkle, that will make you (nick-name)
> >> "Tina Sparkle!!"
> Can I be Fran just Fran?
OK. But, I get to be Dance Federation President, Barry Fife.
Rhuuuuumba!!!!!!
toomces, peeking out for just a minute
tjp...@txdirect.net
Oh, my God! I just realized what you guys have been talking about - I
know I remembered the name Tina Sparkle from somewhere but just could
not place it, thank you for the Barry Fife comment, it really was
driving me crazy. I really loved this movie - saw it in the theater
about 10 times. Wow, could he dance or what! Well, just thought I'd
add that. BTW, he was also in Exit to Eden - I know, a terrible
movie, but I certainly got to see more of him :).
Laverne
FGC Jax's Chief Spiritual Advisor
FGC Lucy Monitor of Verbal Tirades
tjp...@txdirect.net
BTW, I was not talking about Barry Fife in the above commentary - who
would ever want to see more of him - blick, but for some reason I was
drawing a blank on the beautiful lead man in the movie - if someone
could please remind me, it's been so long, I only know him now by his
face. Thanks.
Laverne
barter,elizabeth
In article <4okqim$8...@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>,
Guest Account <swg...@nada.corp.sun.com> wrote:
>In article a...@alterdial.UU.NET, bola...@mailb.starnetinc.com (Gretchen Bolanos) writes:
>> Christine Malcom <cm...@kimbark.uchicago.edu> wrote:
>>
>> >> Wow, if you take the name Sparkle, that will make you (nick-name)
>> >> "Tina Sparkle!!"
>> Can I be Fran just Fran?
>
> OK. But, I get to be Dance Federation President, Barry Fife.
>
> Rhuuuuumba!!!!!!
>
> toomces, peeking out for just a minute
Can I wear the gold matador jacket? Pleeeeeeeeze? For just a minute!?
CranBeth - Member, SESIDAR, Keeper of the Paper Shredder
___
/\ \
/ \/ \
___ \ O / ___ Jealousy serves no one but fools
/ \ \ / / \ - Ian Moreland
/ __ - - __ \ Alt.Days, Episode #49
/___/ | <> <> | \___\
O ___| ^ |___ O
/ \ -^- / \ Beth Barter
/ /\ \_____/ /\ \ Bellcore
\_ / / \ \_ / Morristown, NJ
O / /\ /\ \ O ba...@cc.bellcore.com
\ / \ / \ /
O O O
Erin McInnis
tjp...@txdirect.net wrote:
> I was drawing a blank on the beautiful lead man in the movie - if someone
> could please remind me, it's been so long, I only know him now by his
> face. Thanks.
His name is Paul Mercurio...
BTW, I *loved* Strictly Ballroom, too!!! And here I
thought that I was the only one who ever saw it ;)
--
Erin D. McInnis
*A life lived in fear is a life half-lived*
tjp...@txdirect.net
Erin,
Thank you! Actually, I am one member of a group of females who went
to go see this movie frequently. We were all involved in Ballroom
Dancing in college and loved the fact that there was finally a movie
(especially a comedy) about the crazy world of competitive dance.
Paul was so perfect in the film. Now that I think about it, I may go
rent it again tonight. Thanks again for the info - sometimes my brain
just freezes and I can't get it unstuck.