AMC: My child's deaf, so "I feel completely empty"... wow!
Taylor
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That's just a repulsive statement to make. It's not like he's dead.
I'll never accept Kendall anymore, just like I'll never accept Tad
calling Adam leaving Krystal going into labour on the floor (w/ a
working telephone!!!!), "inhuman".
When Julia said the possibility of KWAK sleeping w/ Adam is "a hard
thing to swallow", I admit I got soooooooo double entendre. But her
to wait 'til she got up, got dressed and got out of the Chandler to
mansion to call home, after Adam suggests it, is just idiotic.
Taylor
> Today's episode
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> That's just a repulsive statement to make. It's not like he's dead.
> I'll never accept Kendall anymore, just like I'll never accept Tad
> calling Adam leaving Krystal going into labour on the floor (w/ a
> working telephone!!!!), "inhuman".
It's an insult to parents w/ deaf kids is what it is!! It also shows
how messed up her way of thinking is that either by birth or by
accident, she can't feel settled if he's not "perfect".
SFJason
> On Oct 23, 1:54 pm, Taylor <fetchwithruffruff...@yahoo.com> wrote:
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> > That's just a repulsive statement to make. It's not like he's dead.
> > I'll never accept Kendall anymore, just like I'll never accept Tad
> > calling Adam leaving Krystal going into labour on the floor (w/ a
> > working telephone!!!!), "inhuman".
>
> It's an insult to parents w/ deaf kids is what it is!! It also shows
> how messed up her way of thinking is that either by birth or by
> accident, she can't feel settled if he's not "perfect".
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While you may not like it, it is a reaction that happens to alot of
parents of children with disabilities or differences. I also liken
it to when Bianca came out to Erica. Erica did *NOT* accept it well.
You would think a former "supermodel" and cosmetics maven would have
had tons of gay friends her whole career so a gay child wouldn't have
been big deal for her. But she DID have a problem with it. While she
eventually got over it and accepts Bianca unconditionally. I think
Kendall will get there as well. Every parent wants their child to be
perfect and healthy and have an easy happy life. Kendall is having a
tough time seeing that Spike can still have a happy, healthy
productive life even with his hearing loss. Some parents have a
tougher time than others when their child faces a challenge that
changes that "perceived perfection" of said child. I think it is
compounded with guilt that Kendall has a problem with rather than the
deafness. She blames herself for allowing Greenlee the chance to
kidnap her son which led to the accident that caused his deafness.
Same with Ian, she blames herself and I think that she feels she's
"damaged" her children with these mistakes she's made.
Just my two cents.
SFJason
Judy in the sky
to see what would happen, not stopping it from happening and not being
able to fix it. Not only could it be guilt but helplessness.
Judy
mart
> It's an insult to parents w/ deaf kids is what it is!! It also shows
> how messed up her way of thinking is that either by birth or by
> accident, she can't feel settled if he's not "perfect".
Not just deaf kids...fat kids, kids with acne, "dumb" kids,
misbehaving kids....parents increasingly expect their kids to be
picture-perfect, just like in the magazine ads. There have always been
parents like this, but it appears to me that with our media-saturated
lives this is increasing - this thought that kids are extensions of
our own "perfect" lives because, of course, each of us "deserves" the
best! It's a terrible disservice to not only disabled kids, but even
normal kids who don't measure up to an impossible standard. Just my
opinion.
Mart (sorry for all the quotes, but I couldn't actually bring myself
to say those words in my own voice without choking/chortling.)
franci...@hotmail.com
> On Oct 23, 1:26 pm, Taylor <fetchwithruffruff...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>
> While you may not like it, it is a reaction that happens to alot of
> parents of children with disabilities or differences. I also liken
> it to when Bianca came out to Erica. Erica did *NOT* accept it well.
> You would think a former "supermodel" and cosmetics maven would have
> had tons of gay friends her whole career so a gay child wouldn't have
> been big deal for her. But she DID have a problem with it. While she
> eventually got over it and accepts Bianca unconditionally.
>
> SFJason-
I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but I think Erica's acceptance
of her gay business associates and friends would be very different
(especially in *her* mind) from the acceptance that HER DAUGHTER is
gay.
It's one thing when it's pretty abstract and another when it's your
own flesh and blood.
Francine "Not that there's anything wrong with that!" Goldberg
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Seth J. Bookey
>Just my two cents.
>SFJason
You're absolutely right about parents and the mourning of a disability. My
father had polio at age 6 and was unable to walk afterward without some
sort of braces or canes, etc. My grandparents provided him with an
exceptionally normal life and he was never not included in things.
However, even 80 years later, my grandmother somehow blamed herself for
him getting polio, convinced that Dad was fine when he went to the doctor
and that he must've caught it in the ward from another child who did have
it.
Of course, my father had it before entering the ward. He told me himself
that he had one of the major symptoms of polio --not being able to tilt
his chin forward to his chest--before even going to the doctor's office.
Even though Grandma was very proud of him and even though Dad pretty much
got anyplace he needed to go on his own for msot of his life, she still
somehow blamed herself.
In his book, "The Kid," Dan Savage points out that the one class he and
his boyfriend didn't need to attend when aopting a child was the one where
straight couples "Muorn their infertility." It seems people really do
blame themselves for not being absolutely perfect. I also think that
Kendall's worries abuot Spike being deaf is that it will somehow reflect
poorly on her.
Of cuorse, the biggest problem with this storyline is the biggest
disability Spike has--his legal name is Spike? Talk about diabling your
own child!
--Seth
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Seth J. Bookey
New York City
seth...@panix.com