MiSTing: Atlantis: 4-D [2/2]
Chris Mayfield
>Now, the reason that the oldest human "artworks" are images comes from
>our sojourn in heaven. To us, all the Atl had to do was think a thing and it
>was so. Thus, when we went back to good old mother nature, we made
>images the way the Atl had put images into our heads. Get the picture?
All: No.
>Yes, we see. Monkey see, monkey do may be trite, but tells it like it is.
>
>We learned to make things from the Atl. We learned social structure
>from the Atl. We learned to treat the Earth without conscience from the
>Atl.
Tom: We learned parallel sentence structure from the Atl.
> And above all, we learned to think of ourselves as above nature, in
>charge of all things, from the Atl. But they created us, so what were we
>to do?
>
>Well, as you have no doubt already gathered,
Mike: I am completely mental.
>
Atlantis was Eden, and it
>was from that experience all our legends of a Golden Age in whatever
>culture descend. (Side note: I bought Bramley's book, Gods of Eden, one
>week, and the next day came that rather persuasive note which showed it
>to be a Scientologist-oriented document.
Crow: Obviously, aliens have been monitoring my shopping excursions.
Tom: You're ignoring the fact that God might be trying to communicate
directly to him to warn him of the dangers of government run bookstores.
> I threw the
book in the trash
>immediately without reading further than the first chapter, and so I don't
>know to what extent or how he treated this point).
Mike: I'm glad to let others form my opinions.
>
>Interestingly enough, there were those Atls who thought they had done
>rather poorly by us. They realized that by creating us as they had, part
>of themselves was now embedded in our existence.
All: Ewwwww!
>
While some parents
>treat their children as slave labor--plus ca change, plus la meme chose,
>n'est-ce pas?
Mike: [suave] That's French baby. It means "I don't know what the hell I'm
talking about."
> --others treasure them
Crow: In fact, they put them in a chest and bury them in the back yard.
> and give them a
good education,
>stable home, and so forth.
>
>When the final destruction of Atlantis was understood to be inevitable,
>there were, as Cayce pointed out, two philosophical outlooks.
Tom: Tastes great.
Crow: Less filling.
Tom: Kirk!
Crow: Piccard!
Tom: SONDHEIM!!
Crow: LLOYD WEBBER!!
Mike: Calm down, you guys!
>
The "One"
>wanted to return to heaven, 4-D existence, and see what could be done
>about the mess the Atls had made. The other, the Belials, were so far
>gone into the material matrix that they were almost indistinguishable
Tom: Or in-determinate. Ha! Matrix humor, gotta love it.
>from your average commanding officer at the Pentagon. There was a
>world to be rebuilt, they thought amongst themselves,
Crow: Discuss. I'll give you a topic. SNL is neither S nor N nor L.
>
and the resource
>that was available for heavu lifting--given the technology was smashed
>for the most part--was, guess who? So, they started a collection
Mike: Hi. We're selling candy bars to keep hyper-evolved Atls like me off
the street.
>campaign, and it is the Athenian repulsion of this conquering effort that
>Plato started to relate in his aborted story.
>
>Well, we've jumped the gun here a little bit.
All: [weakly] Bang.
> The
Atls who decided to
>reverse the trend went to Egypt. There they built the great pyramids and
>started to evacuate back into 4-D space.
Crow: When you're trying to get somewhere, there's nothing like hitching
a ride on a massive, immobile stone structure.
> It was
dangerous, and not
>always successful. If you did not have the requisite mind strength to
>leave the body, you suffered the fate of becoming the "living dead."
Tom: It's the Robot Vs the Atl Mummy.
>
Your
>Atl consciousness was zonked into a form of zombism, from which many
>have yet to recover; but most will shortly here. You remained in the
>biological body, blue blood and all--it was still an edge--but came to full
>consciousness of your true potential only for brief moments, usually in
>death. And then you were back here, asleep. "Life is a dream, and death
>the great awakening." Indeed.
Mike: To sleep, perchance to dream. Aye--there's the rub! For what
dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil must give
us pause. There's the calamity that makes so long a life.
Tom: And the frightening thing, folks, is that he did that all from memory.
>
>If all this discussion was about something that happened thousands of
>years ago, what difference would it make? Here we are, as we are, and
>regardless of how our origins are conceived, does it really make any
>difference about what we order for dinner?
Tom: All groups go through three stages: How Can I Eat, Why do I Eat, and
Where Shall We Go for Dinner?
> Just
one problem with that
>perspective: the Atls came from outside of the time/space we remain
>embedded within. And some of them left, feeling sorry not only for those
>of their "own kind" who remained, but also with a healthy dose of guilt--
Crow: At the Guilt King drive-thru.
>or at least concern--for the fact that by creating us they had left part of
>themselves behind here on earth. Well, they're B-A-C-K.
Tom: What? Bellbottoms?
>
>And you thought this had nothing to do with alien visitors in the here and
>now, perhaps?
Mike: I didn't think this had anything to do with anything.
>
>The lights in the sky, popping in and out of sight in wholly impossible
>ways in the 3-D perspective, are our old benefactors and oppressors, the
>Atls, come back to repair the damage and collect what they left behind.
Tom: If they can manipulate time and space, why do they need to come
back and fix anything now?
Mike: Tom, you're looking for logic in all the wrong places.
>Except it's not quite that simple anymore. What we have become is
>neither fish nor fowl, so to speak, and it will take some doing to get us
>ready to be able to rejoin the higher life.
Tom: Rejoin the higher life on the Off-World Colonies.
Mike: Tom, I just used that ref.
> They have
tried repeatedly over
>the years to induce this change, but the entrenched Belial consciousness
>in us is as stubborn and addicted to denial
Crow: Just say no to no.
> as it ever
was. See now that
>we got BOTH sides, when we were created. Part of us is sweetness and
>light, and part of us is
Mike: Stinking, filthy dog vomit.
> Belial. Duality, the concept. Figure it
out.
Crow: You do it. I'm bitter.
>
>Buddha, Christ, and all the rest were reincarnated Atls. The gain was
>turned up. Like Atls before them, being around them could be the source
>of bliss and--lo!
Tom: The artificial sweetener?
Mike: I think that's Sweet and Low.
> Enlightenment about the true nature of
consciousness
>and "life," as we "think" about it. This has not been a greatly successful
>program. But then
Crow: They were losers to begin with.
> they started from a physical premise, which was
>logical to them but seems backwards to us. They also did not want to
>reinstate the worship rites, and so forth; these are the good guys,
>remember. And they saw that using mind control would not accomplish
>it, either; in fact, just the opposite. So they had a bit of a stumper.
Tom: [as Jesus] What would MacGuyver do?
>
>Meanwhile, back on earth, we have been busy making tools. The Atl
>consciousness in us was still intent, like a river flowing to the sea, on
>penetrating matter.
Mike: Siddhartha loved the river. He listened to its simple truths.
> Only we do it by making devices. Now we
have
>nuclear weapons. This is not good.
Crow: Dur-hey.
> Aside from the
problems of death and
>destruction to us, it also creates a problem for the Atls. The nuclear
>explosions create, for lack of better terminology,
Tom: Boom-booms.
Crow: Ouchies.
Mike: Big burny things.
>
"tears" in the
>dimensional continua. What we do harms them. They are not happy, and
>since it can be construed as a problem they made in the first place, it
>behooved them to do something about it. So they started coming back to
>earth.
Mike: Come for the universe threatening human race; stay for the free
peanuts and cheddar pretzels.
>
>But these Atls are not directly from the probability lines that we would
>think of as linear. In that line, they retained their physical bodies. The
>greys are--guess who? Us, only as we would have appeared if the Atls
>had continued their devolution in this time line.
All: [singing] You tell me that it's devolution. . .
>
But the Atls are 4-D, and
>these linear views are wholly inadequate to describe the relationship.
>
>Now, we need to make a distinction here. There are greys, as I have said
>before, and there are greys.
Mike: [singing] There are greys, and there are greys, and there are greys.
Tom: Enough with the musical references!
Mike: But that's "The First" one *I've* made.
> The little grey/green bodies
recovered
>through the years are one set, a very small set--sort of like me telling
>you that there was this creature called Cro-Magnon man. You imagine
>caves or villages, with a population making whoopy and flint spearpoints.
Mike: Does whoopy keep an edge well?
>It is a funny coincidence
Crow: Ha, ha, ha--wait, I don't get it.
> that the whole notion of Cro-Magnon
man you
>have accepted on face value is based on the remains of seventeen
>individual recovered skeletons. Not 1700, or 17,000. Just a small plane
>load of 17. And that, hah, is the same number of little grey/green
>remains that have been recovered world wide since the 1940s.
Tom: [Colin Fergeson] If there had been 23 skeletons, I would have been
accused on 23 counts.
>
>The "greys" that get talked about as being present at "abductions" are
>indeed sinister, but not because of any other wordly cruelty. The "greys"
>are one of those kernel-of-truth (or, more punnily, a Colonel-of-truth)
Crow: [ranting] TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!
>things. During the Cold War, when just about any atrocious act that could
>be committed in the name of national security was funded without a
>second thought,
Mike: The Bee-Gees were formed.
> it was determined that the radiation experienced by
most
>survivors of a nuclear war could possibly destroy the integrity of human
>reproduction. Lightbulb gone off yet?
Crow: No, it's still on, but nobody's home.
>
>The geneticists argued that volunteer collection for cryogenic storage
>would not supply a sufficient gene pool. Instead, the vitality of the
>animal needed broader representation from the general population.
Crow: [Dr. Strangelove] Animals will be bred and frozen!
>
This
>was sold as a longterm safeguard for American democracy (believe it;
>there are even worse things--this is almost a sweet by comparison). At
>first, they didn't have elaborate schemes. They just collected ova and
>sperm
Mike: Talk about aggressive panhandling.
Tom: Brother, can you spare some semen?
> and froze them, like for prize bulls. (The up side is that they
also
>collected thousands of other species, and these are still on file. So all is
>not a total loss, though it is still a total outrage). Fantastic DNA
Crow: Well, at the least, really cool DNA.
>technology came later, but it came as a result of this program in large
>measure. Funding was discrete, and usually asked in terms of irradiated
>humans in space, but the answers were the same.
Tom: Multiple choice, with some short essay.
>
>Well, they did this. Abductions started, mind control chemicals and
>electronic means were used. But they still needed the long metal needle,
Mike: Unfortunately, it got lost in a haystack.
>and they also needed an implanted cover memory in case these good
>American citizens should start having recall.
Tom: Total recall.
Crow: We can remember it for you wholesale.
> They
chose the little grey
>men, whom they were also concerned about. The 'two bird with one stone'
>idea. So, if anyone DID see a little grey/green man, they were covered!
Mike: With tar and feathers.
>Just point out the loonies who claimed they had been abducted and
>subjected to "ridiculous" horrific medical procedures.
Mike: "Ridiculous horrific" medical procedures?
Crow: Maybe they were patients of Dr. Giggles.
>
>As an aside, this program was uncovered by others in the government and
>officially terminated, whatever "officially" means
Tom: official: adj. 1. Of or relating to an office or a post of authority.
=D1officially: adv.
>
given the heed of the
>CIA to presidential orders in Guatemala, for example. Of course, there is
>no way the public could be informed--just as the radiation testing done
>with plutonium was "too hot" for disclosure.
Crow: Demi Moore.
> Same
old, same old. But the
>sperm and ova are still sitting in the liquid nitrogen. This, by the by, is
>the origin of the story about the Dulce facility;
Mike: Los Alamos--this is your life!
>
one of the depositories of
>the collected materials is in New Mexico.
>
>But I digress. The Atls, being concerned that it was time to take more
>direct measures to "clean up the mess,"
Tom: Or they would have to "go to their room" without "supper."
> to put it in
human terms.
>Remember, they've got all the time in the world, because they are outside
>of it. And they have more than one mess to clean up.
Mike: So the Atlanteans see the earth as a Superfunds site?
>
The Atls popped
>into biologies all over the place, galactically speaking.
Crow: I get it!! The Atlanteans are that super-evolved race from Star
Trek that made all the alien races white, English-speaking humans!!
>
But we have now
>moved to the top of the priority list by punching holes into the
>time/space continua.
>
>What they have decided to do is boost the Atl nature in us. Of course,
>this will be an uneven solution,
Crow: It figures. This whole post is odd.
> but it will be a solid one.
We, as a
>species, will now begin to awaken. Those zombied Atls who were too far
>gone to vacate through the use of the pyramids will be awakened. This
>will come about through the reactivation of the living crystals
Tom: We've replaced the Atls living crystals with sparkling Folger's
crystals.
>
that
>remain on earth, broadcasting a carrier wave of energy that will be like
>turning on the lights in a dark room.
Mike: And exposing the film.
> And the specific
crystals that are
>activated will result in tangible physical events.
>
>One will be a burst of "rapture,"
Tom: [Stimpy] Oh, rapture!
> like the good old days in
Atlantis. The
>other will be a sudden devolution of mechanized culture.
Bots: Booooooo!!
>
The animal in us
>will be slowly returned to the earth as the Atl in us gains the strength to
>"ascend." This is what the New Agers are attempting to explain in all
>this "ascension" stuff. But just as the animal "man"
Mike: Available from Vertigo.
>
was here before the
>Atls came, so will the species remain, until the last of the Atl
>consciousness has been awakened and recovered to its true 4-D state.
>This will take time, but the irony is not lost on me:
Tom: In fact, I've been thrown down and had the irony beaten into me.
>
we will appear to be
>devolving physically when, in fact, that part of us which makes us
>"human" is simply departing the "natural order" of this physical
>continuum. What looks like decay is actually liberation,
Crow: Suddenly the '94 elections make sense!
>
just as on the
>way in what looked like "progress" for the Atls was actually
>degeneration.
>
>Atlantis lost is Atlantis found. Salus!
Tom: You ever notice that you always find Atlantis in the last place you
look?
Mike: You know, I never--huh?
[1...2...3...4...5...6...]
[Mike is in some sort of large, clear plastic cylinder. There is a metal
colander on his head with wires attached to it. Crow and Tom are sitting next
to a box with lots of knobs, dials, and switches.]
Mike: What are you guys doing?
Crow: Silence! You are being deprogrammed.
Tom: Mike Nelson--what happened when you tried to construct a robot of
your own design?
Mike: Well, I admit it had a few flaws, but-- [big shock] I CREATED A
HIDEOUS HELLISH PERVERSION OF ROBOTICS!
Tom: Good. What happened when you tried to do a little preventive
maintenance on Crow?
Mike: I almost turned him into Horschack. But I didn't expect-- [really
big shock]
Crow: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, Mr. Nelson!
Tom: What about that thing with the regional speech patterns?
Mike: Come on. That was just a little joke-- [huge shock] I AM THE
EPITOME OF EVIL AND AM UNFIT TO LIVE!
Crow: Are you ever going to attempt to reprogram us? Yes or no?
Mike: Yes--I mean no--I mean yellow-- [immense shock] AAAAAAAAH!!!
Tom: What do you think, sirs?
Mike: I had jello today...
[Deep 13. Forrester looks stunned]
Dr F: I am shocked. I am sickened. I am repulsed. I'll have to send you
more of these kind of posts.
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fwshhhh
Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters, situations, and merchandise are
copyright 1994 Best Brains, Inc. This MSTing is not authorized, endorsed, or
supported by anyone. It is not intended as an attack on anyone's beliefs. This
article may be freely distributed as long as this notice remains intact.
MiSTed by Chris Mayfield, camf...@iastate.edu Comments welcome.
>They identified with these movements, not with objects like rocks.