MiSTing: PHOTON BELT info
Chris Mayfield
[SOL. Mike, Crow, and Tom are behind the desk.]
Mike: Hi, everybody. This is Mike Nelson on the Sat oą Love.
Weąre just waiting for the scientists to send us a post.
Crow: Arenąt we supposed to be doing some sort of warped version
of a popular activity, Mike?
Mike: Uh-uh.
Tom: What about shattering conventional television mores?
Mike: Not here.
Crow: Scathing satire on current political agendas?
Mike: [Bush] Not gonna do it.
Tom: Bizarre literary allusions?
Mike: No can do.
Crow: A humerous but enlightening look into American society?
Mike: Nopadope.
Tom: Commentary on the pitfalls of being trapped in space?
Mike: Nada.
Bots: Why not?
[light flashes]
Mike: Oops, Beavis and Gingrinch are calling
[hits button]
[Deep 13.]
Forester: Well, Mike, todayąs experiment comes from that seething
pit of angst and horror, alt.alien.visitors. Itąs some dreadful
rambling nonsense about a photon belt. Send them the post, Frank.
Frank: I had a photon belt once. It was black and tan and it was
reversible andŠ
Forester: Just send them the post.
[SOL]
All: Weąve got post sign! Ahhhhhhhh!
[6Š5Š4Š3Š2Š1Š]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>PHOTON BELT info
>
>From: search...@channel1.com (Searchnet Zec)
>Date: Thu, 16 Feb 1995 11:25:00 -0500
>Organization: Channel 1(R) 617-864-0100 Info
>Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
Tom: This is going to hurt.
>
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> GS> In addition to my posting on astronomers' reports that
> GS> confirm the existence of a "belt" of highly-energetic
> GS> "Photons", is this excerpt from an 'old' Orvotron
> GS> Newsletter, from 1992.
>
> ORVOTRON
Crow: Building a better tomorrow through paranoia.
> Bimonthly Newsletter, March\April, 1992
> The East Coast Power Point, Kortron and Solinus
> E Mail Address: Fido Net Address 1:379/703
> Please send us your input
>
> [...]
>
> ( The Photon Belt Story )
Mike: An ABC afterschool special.
>Is our solar system about to enter a cosmic 'cloud', as part of a
>12,000 year cycle? We present this obscure but popular
Tom: How is something both obscure and popular?
Mike: Maybe everyone who didnąt know it existed liked it.
> 1981
>article for you to decide.
Crow: IBM presents łYou make the call.˛
>
>People all over the world are grasping, reaching
Crow: Groping, fondling, pettingŠ
> out for little
>pieces of knowledge, enlightenment, hope for the future of
Tom: TVąs Frank.
Mike: Huh?
Tom: Later, Mike.
> their
>children in a world of growing degradation, drugs, rape, murder,
>etc. The Prophets of doom preach of physical horror and
>annihilation.
Mike: Prophets of doom are funny that way.
> It is like a great vortex, a great sucking spiral,
>ever downward, blackness, despair.
Tom: Like the soul of Robert Dole.
>You look upwards, can see the light
Crow: The sun?
> at the top and grasp and claw
>your way to get out of that ever quickening
Tom: Highlander 2: The Quickening.
Crow: Does that exist?
Mike: Donąt even start.
> pull of despair. The
>truth sometimes is so simple that we look past it, ignore it and
>try to find a much more complicated answer,
Mike: This must be that new math Iąve heard them talk so much
about.
> when all the time, it
>is there, staring you right in the face, your passport out of the
>vortex into
Crow: Sunny Alcapulco!
> the future.
>
>It all starts with a little atom and the group of little
>electrons
Mike: The electrons make their way to the atom, fertilizing itŠ
> which orbit around it. English physicist Paul Adrain
>Maurice Dirac,
Crow: Wow! Paul Diric, antimatter and you!
Mike: Crow, nobody in the expanded universe got that reference.
> said that for each type of particle, an anti-
>particle will exist.
Crow: Like pope and antipope.
Tom: Like pasta and antipasto.
Mike: Like Christ and Antichrist.
>In 1932, Carl David Anderson
Tom: [singing] Anderson, thatąs me.
> discovered the anti-electron and
>called it a positron. In 1956, the anti-proton and anti- neutron
>were discovered.
Mike: I claim this particle in the name of Queen Isabella!
>When an anti-particle is formed, it comes into existence in a
>universe of ordinary particles,
Crow: It gets teased by the ordinary particles. They give it an
atomic wedgie.
> and it is only a matter of
>time....a fraction of a second...before it meets and collides
>with an electron. The charges cancel,
Crow: Like Visa and American Express.
> the total mass of the pair
>is converted into energy in the form of PHOTONS.
>
> GS> Oh well, I just have to interupt. Notice how they cancel
> GS> each other and "light" emerges? It is the same principle at
> GS> the basis of David Hudson's discovery. Light, seemingly
> GS> comes out of "nothing".
Tom: I thought they said they came out of a particle and an anti-
particle.
> Now, science has discovered it....
> GS> the spiritualists intuited it from their source within... is
> GS> it reality? You be the judge.
Mike: I didnąt know reality was democratic.
Tom: We hereby declare that Yahoo Serious is not part of reality.
> I tell you what, I am testing
> GS> it, everytime a science article relates to it, and everytime
> GS> a spiritual source relates to it, and so far, I find it
> GS> "most intriguing". Remember the article I posted on
> GS> "superdeformed nuclei"?
All: No.
> Remember that this nucleus is
> GS> spinning very rapidly and as it it winds down to a "normal"
> GS> state, that it gives of gamma radiation.
Mike: I had an aunt who used to give gamma radiation for
Christmas presents every year.
> Gamma
> GS> radiation is "light". And remember that scientists were
> GS> intrigued that _different_ elemental nuclei in this state
> GS> would give of the _same_ gamma radiation signature,
Crow: Thatąs forgery!
> as they
> GS> wound down. I tend to look at this way, when an element'
> GS> nuclei are in the superdeformed state, it _is_ another state
> GS> of _matter_.
Tom: This is physics. This is physics on drugs. Any questions?
>When an anti-particle is formed, it comes into existence in a
>universe of ordinary particles,
Crow: Mike, help! My memory circuits are caught in a loop! Iąm
seeing everything over again!
Mike: Itąs okay, Crow. The guy just pasted this in twice.
> and it is only a matter of
>time....a fraction of a second...before it meets and collides
>with an electron. The charges cancel,
Tom: Like VisaŠ
Mike: We did that joke already, Tom.
> the total mass
>of the pair is converted into energy in the form of PHOTONS. This
>offers a new and unprecedented powerful source of energy. The
>PHOTON is about to become your way of life in the very near
>future.
Crow: Drive to work or play in your new Chrysler Photon.
>A PHOTON BAND
Mike: Hard rockiną, alternative physics from Seattle.
> was discovered in outer space in 1961 by means of
>satellite born instruments. We will now move onto the
>PLEIADES....The Seven Sisters...
Tom: Sleepy, Grumpy, DopeyŠ
Mike: Brainy, VanityŠ
Crow: Whiny and Bitchy.
> an estimated 400 light years
>from here. This group of stars is the basis of mythology
Tom: Are they talking about the Rat Pack?
> in many
>countries....the Greek Gods, Australian Dreamtime....Chinese
>mythology. To quote from just a few Astronomers....
Mike: Billions and billions and billions andŠ
>Jose Comas Sola made a special study of the Pleiades and
>discovered that they form a system, of which our sun is part of
>that system, and also several other suns, and all apparently,
>have their own Planetary systems.
Crow: If you took a drink for every system in that sentence,
youąd be in the Betty Ford Clinic.
>
>Freidrich Wilhelm Bessel showed that members of this group had a
>proper motion of 5.5 seconds of arc
Mike: Donąt look at the arc, Marion!
> per century in the same
>direction.
>
>Isaac Asimov...
Crow: Wait, heąs a science-fiction writer.
Mike: When your trying to prove your delusions, anybody is fair
game.
> "We can assume that all the stars in this cluster
>are the same chronological age."
>
>Edmund Halley, studying the position of the stars, noted that at
>least three stars were not in the spots recorded by the Greeks.
Tom: Those wacky Greeks.
>The difference was so great that it was unlikely that either the
>Greeks or Halley could have made a mistake.
Crow: God was blamed.
> It seemed very clear
>to Halley that these stars moved within a system.
>
>Paul Otto Hesse also made a special study of this system, of
>which our sun is a part, and discovered, at absolute right angles
Mike: As opposed to partial right angles.
> to the
>movements of the suns, a PHOTON BELT or MANASIC RING, a phenomena
>which scientists have not yet been able to reproduce with
>laboratory experiments.
Tom: Along with Joey Lawrence.
>It takes our sun 24,000 years to complete an orbit, (of this
>system) and as seen by the diagram,
Crow: Well the diagram makes it so muchŠhuh?
> it is divided into sections.
>The 10,000 years of darkness is the period as we know it now, day
>time, night time, the 2,000 year period of all light, again
>10,000 years of darkness and 2,000 years of light.
>
>WE ARE NOW POISED TO ENTER THIS PHOTON BELT.
Crow: TAKE EXIT 412, NEXT TO THE AMACO STATION.
> It is inevi-
>table....between now and the end of this century - but it is
>inevitable!
Mike: In other words, itąs inevitable.
>We have completed the full circle and are back at the beginning.
>It is described in detail in your bible,
All: *Our* bible?
> by all books on
>mythology, by Nostradamus, and by modern day scientists.
>
>To quote our scientists....
Mike: Who are better than yours.
Tom: I wonder if they have *their* bible.
> If the Earth enters first into the
>PHOTON BELT, the sky will appear to be on fire,
All: Oooooh. Ahhhhh. Ohhhhhhh.
> but be as- sured,
>this is cold light, so there will be no heat.
Mike: The PHOTON BELT is able to suspend the laws of electro-
magnetic radiation.
> If the sun enters
>first, there will be immediate darkness,
Tom: If it takes eight minutes for light to reach earth from the
sun, how could we be plunged into darkness immediately after
the sun enters the photon belt?
Mike: The Speed of Dark is faster than the Speed of Light. And
itąs PHOTON BELT.
> which, computed our speed
>through space, will last 110 hours. The interaction between the
>Solar Radiation and the PHOTON BELT will make the sky look as if
>it is full of falling stars.
>
> GS> falling stars is in the book of revelation.
Crow: Is that in *my* bible or *yours?*
>
>The interaction between the Solar Radiation and the PHOTON BELT
>will make the sky look as if it is full of falling stars.
Tom: Itąs deja vu all over again.
> As
>the Earth enters this radiation belt, all molecules will become
>excited, all atoms will change,
Mike: Water will taste like beef gravy.
> things will become luminescent,
>THERE WILL BE CONSTANT LIGHT. There can be no darkness, not
>within the deepest cave, not within the human body.
All: Ewwwwwww.
> A quick look
>at your bible...."All the stars will fall from the sky and the
>sky will be no more....".
>
>It is expected that the rotation of the Earth may diminish a
>little.
Crow: For absolutely no good reason.
> Because of the reduced Solar Radiation, the temperature
>is expected to become cooler and the ice caps are expected to
>extend to about latitude 40 in both hemispheres....your history
>books
Tom: Now itąs *our* history books. Doesnąt this guy have the
same history?
> will tell you that at least five ICE AGES have been record-
>ed, and they seem to last about 2,000 years. It may be noted that
>world communication centers, fixed satellites,
Mike: Ouch.
> US bases and
>experimental sights are within the 'safe zone'. Design or acci-
>dent?
>
>What about you?
Mike: Are you insured for design or accident? Mutual of OmahaŠ
> There are three types of people in our cosmos...
>corporeal, like us, solid, human;....atmospherean, also solid to
>a point, but the molecular structure is quite different;....
>ethereans, no mass at all.
Crow: Just trust me on this one.
> When we enter the Photon Belt, a
>normal healthy person is expected to feel a jolt similar to
>putting your finger in a live light socket,
Mike: The author knows this from experience.
Tom: Itąs like putting your tongue in a blender. No, thatąs not
it. Itąs like putting your feet in the microwaveŠ
> and the
>transformation will be complete...you have just changed from a
>Corporeal person to
Crow: Liza Minneli.
> an Atmospherean person....("and ye shall be
>changed to immortality without the separation of
Tom: Church and State.
> death in the
>twinkling of an eye.")
>
>Theologians have written at great depth on Bible characters,
Mike: Noooooooo! Youąre kidding!
> and
>assert that they have lived in this period of light. The sky and
>atmosphere was different and apparently it never rained....
Crow: Well, except for that goofy 40 days and 40 nights.
>Nostradamus, in his quatrain about the end of the world as we
>know it, in 1999...."and it will rain no more, but in 40 years,
>all will be normal."
Tom: Nostradamus is always a good person to consult with your
personal ravings.
>In aboriginal mythology it is said...."Men were differ- ent to
>what they are now....we had a bridge to the stars..."
Mike: And the toll was murder.
> In all
>their stories if they fell out with the Chief or Elder, they fled
>to the sky. So did the Greeks. It appears that space travel is
>simple within the photon belt.
>
>The year 1962
Tom: [singing] Was a very good year.
> was the year that we came within the influ- ence of
>the Photon Belt.
Mike: Can you be arrested for driving within the influence of the
Photon Belt?
> 1962 was a year of great UFO activity. Did we
>come within range of space travelers using the Photon Belt?
All: Read the book.
> As
>we hurtle closer and closer, will more UFO's look us over before
>our rebirth into the years of LIGHT. It would seem that this is
>already happening.
>
>Erich Von Daniken, when visiting South America, discovered
Crow: This really delightful little coffee shop on the corner ofŠ
> a
>tribe with an object given to them by Sky People thousands of
>years ago. They were told to keep it clean and "when it hums like
>thousands of swarms of bees, we will return."
Tom: Look out! The killer bees are coming!
> It started humming
>softly three years ago (ie 1978). A cosmic alarm clock alerting
>us to the coming of the light?
Mike: [yawns] Hit the snooze. I need another 5 centuries.
>It would seem some civilizations may live permanently with The
>Light. When our Planet leaves this period of light and returns
>to the 10,000 years of darkness, do THEY return to the LIGHT and
>wait our eventual re-entry. It seems likely. The Mayans departed
>hurriedly with the message also of their return,
Tom: Wait. The Mayans were at their peak at around 300-900 AD.
Thereąs no way they could have hitched an intergalatic ride
on that photon belt 10,000 years ago.
Mike: Stop it, Tom. Youąre ruining a perfectly good theory with
the facts.
> which scholars
>say is now imminent. Rock carvings around the world show drawings
>similar to the system of Alcione.
>
>Ball lightning...a phenomena about which little is known, is it
>perhaps little pockets of the Photon Belt?
Crow: Microwavable Photon pockets, available in your grocerąs
freezer.
>
>To all UFO researchers, these craft always show an interest in
>nuclear installations. What will happen to a reactor within the
>Belt?
Tom: I think it would go a little something like thisŠ
> I think our scientists are way out ahead. Photon energy
>seems to be the energy of the future. Many UFO reports seem to
>indicate Photon rockets on experimental craft
Mike: How do they know that the UFOs were experimental models?
> ..."the headlights
>were at the back." The reports at hand indicate
Crow: Fingers, five of them.
> slow, cumbersome
>craft..but within the Photon Belt, I think we have craft for
>immediate unlimited space travel.
>
>Because the radiation of our sun will be modified by the Photon
>energy, is this why our scientists only pay small lip service to
>the development of solar energy?
Mike: Forgive my ignorance, but isnąt photon energy the same
thing as solar energy?
> GS> Is this part of the reason that much exploratory emphasis
> GS> has recently been placed on the Sun? (they're mapping the
> GS> Sun's poles right now).
>
>Let us think about our planet coming out of the light and into
>the darkness.
Tom: Itąs happened. Itąs called the 1994 elections.
> Aboriginal mythology says "we were cast out into
>darkness and were much afraid, so the Gods gave us
Crow: Cable!
> a Sun to warm
>us and a moon to see at night."
>
>If the ice caps form within the light years, then the increased
>Solar radiation when leaving the belt must surely melt the ice
>.... Floods. If it does not rain within this period of light, it
>is understandable why Noah was so awed by the sight of that first
>rainbow.
Tom: Lack of rainŠNoahŠlack of rainŠNoahŠSomethingąs not right.
> The Gilgamesh talks of a great flood, but it was
>apparently about 10,000 years before Noah's flood.
>
>We have thought about our world and the effect on a single
>person, but what about
Mike: Squirrels?
> humanity as a whole? It is conceivable
Crow: [lisping] Itąth inconthevable!
>that many people will not survive the initial jolt if they are
>not prepared for it. If the ice extends to latitude 40, that
>covers half the USA, and most of Europe and Asia. That is a lot
>of people
All: Duh!
> without a home. Will they be accepted in other coun-
>tries? In a limited space of fertility, will it be possible to
>support untold millions?
>
>I think not.
Mike: Therefore I am not.
>
>And so tomorrow . . . . . . . .
>
>(Reprinted in Nexus Magazine with permission from Australian
>International UFO Flying Saucer Research Magazine, #12 August
>1981) For more details: GPO Box 2004, Adelaide. SA 5001. Ph: (08)
>272-3131.)
>
> [...]
Crow: Brought to you by your friend, the ellipsis.
> SUBSCRIPTION AND LOG ON INFORMATION
>
>We are pleased to send a "Love Copy" of the most current
>newsletter to anyone you think will be interested. Just pass your
>friend's name and address on to us and we will
Tom: Have him eliminated.
> mail out the issue
>compliments of you. Back issues (which are available for $5/copy)
>contain much information which is still relevant
Mike: And much more that is not.
> and may provide
>some clarity on subjects discussed in subsequent newslet- ters.
>Love donations (which should be made payable to Judith A. Wells)
>are greatly appreciated and go to
Tom: My secret bank account in Switzerland.
> Spirit's work to create Heaven
>on Earth.
>
>We encourage you to log on to Spirit Bulletin Board Service, a
>computer/modem system which includes message sections for the
>exclusive use of Star People
Tom: A BBS exclusively for aliens?
> and to obtain applications for
>Searchnet, an ongoing star conference. You may access it by
>calling via computer 1-704-297-5973 or through E Mail 1:3666\701.
>
>For a year's subscription (6 bimonthly issues) please send $30.00
>(USA) or $40.00 (all other countries -International money orders
>only) in check or money order made payable to:
Crow: Me, Al Franken.
>
> Judith A. Wells
> Route 2, Box 309B
> Vilas, NC 28692
> 704 297-2342
>
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> * RM 1.3 00257 * Will the last one leaving Earth please turn out
>the lights?
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1Š2Š3Š4Š5Š6Š]
Mike: What did you guys think about that experiment?
Tom: Come on, Mike. That post was so hopelessly lost. The dates
for the Greeks and Mayans for leaving this planet were off by
millenia. The physics made no sense at all. Their quotes from
the bible blatently contradicted themselves, and they made no
effort to back up any of their major points.
Mike: What about you, Crow.
Crow: Huh? Oh. The spelling was pretty good.
Mike: What do you think, sirs?
[Deep 13]
Forester: You may have gotten through this post, Nelson, but Iąll
get you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, and
someday soon. Push the button, Frank.
Frank: Šand it had this buckle on it of aŠ
Forester: Never mind. Iąll get it.
\ | /
\ | /
---0---
/ | \
/ | \
fwshhhh
Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters, situations, and
merchandise are copyright 1994 Best Brains, Inc. This MSTing is
not authorized, endorsed, or supported by anyone. Not intended as
an attack on anyone's beliefs. This article may be freely distri-
buted as long as this notice remains intact.
MiSTed by Chris Mayfield, camf...@iastate.edu
>WE ARE NOW POISED TO ENTER THIS PHOTON BELT.