MiSTed: Transformer movie (well, semi-MiSTed)
spw...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu
>Unicron: Megatron.
>Megatron: Who said that?
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
>Unicron: I am Unicron.
Uh, you misspelled "Unicorn".
>Megatron: Show yourself.
Unicron: I already know! I'm showing you!
>Unicron: I have summoned you here for a purpose.
>Megatron: No one summons Megatron!
(awkwardly)... without a... very good reason.
>Unicron: Then it pleases me to be the first.
>Megatron: State your business.
Well, for $20, I can give you this lovely little kitty, and for an extra
$5...
>Unicron: You are to destroy the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. It is the
> one thing, the only thing, that can stand in my way!
Well, that and the Black Knight from Monty Python.
>Megatron: You have nothing to fear. I have already crushed Optimus Prime
> with my bear hands.
>Unicron: You exxagerate.
Yes, but for dramatic effect.
>Megatron: The point is he's dead, and the Matrix died with him!
>Unicron: No, the point Megatron is that you are a fool. The Matrix
> lives with Ultra Magnus on the Planet of Junk. You are to
> hunt him down and destroy it for me.
Geez, can't this guy do anything himself?
>Megatron: Why? What's in it for me?
Eternal Youth!
Beautiful Women!
A Free Lunch!
(Hey, if this movie can have unicorns, why not free lunches too?)
>Unicron: Your bargaining posture is highly dubious, but very well. I
> will give you a new body and new troops to command.
Wow! Can you give me breasts?
>Megatron: And?
>Unicron: And Nothing! You belong to me now.
>Megatron: I belong to nobody!
But I have a receipt.
>Unicron: Perhaps I misjudged you. Procede on your way to oblivion.
Slower Traffic Keep Right. No Passing. D'ya need directions?
>Megatron: No! I accept your terms! I accept!
Megatron couldn't be present at the ceremony, so accepting the terms for him
will be: Jamie Farr.
>Unicron: Excellent! Behold, Galvatron! And these shall be your
> minions: Cyclonus, Sweeps, and his armada. And this shall be
> your ship.
>Galvatron: I shall tear open Ultra Magnus and every other Autobot until
> the Matrix has been destroyed!
Is there anything else I can get you, Mr. High-and-mighty Unicorn? A pizza?
Some gardening supplies? The Pope, perhaps?
>Unicron: Go. Destroy the Matrix.
Galvatron: All right. [Begins to follow Unicron]
Unicron: Where are you going?
Galvatron: We're coming with you.
Unicron: No, I want you to go, and destroy the Matrix!
Galvatron: Oh I see.
Unicron: I everything clear?
Galvatron: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
Well, maybe that wasn't so valuable entertainment-wise. But you did say
"feel free to insert your comments in between the lines".
Peter Washington
>Unicron: Perhaps I misjudged you. Procede on your way to oblivion.