MiSTing Winston 13
Brian Henderson
. the meantime a race of human-looking aliens contacted the U.S. Government.
Crow & Tom: Star Trek aliens!
>This alien group warned us against the aliens that were orbiting the Equator
>and
>offered to help us with our spiritual development. They demanded that we
>disman-
>Command:
>tle and destroy our nuclear weapons as the major condition. They refused to
>exchange technology, citing that we were spiritually unable to handle the
>techno-
>logy which we then possessed.
Crow: Spiritual peace through superior firepower!
> They belived that we would use any new
>technology
>to destroy each other. This race stated that we were on a path of
>self-destruct-
>ion and we must stop killing each other, stop pollutung the Earth, stop
>raping
Crow: Sheep?
Mike: Crow, that's enough!
>the Earth's natural resources, and learn to live in harmony. These terms were
>Command:
>met with extreme suspicion, especially the major condition of nuclear
>disarmame-
>nt. It was believed that meeting that condition would leave us helpless in
>the
>face of an obvious alien threat. We also had nothing in history to help with
>the
>decision. Nuclear Disarmament was not considered to be in the best interest
>of
>the United States. The overtures were rejected.
Tom: No, Johnny would never get a date with a girl.
> Later in 1954 the race of
>large
>Command:
>nosed Gray Aliens which had been orbiting the Earth landed at Holloman Air
>Force
>Base.
Tom: Jimmy Durante aliens.
Mike: Ah cha cha cha.
> A basic agreement was reached. This race identified themselves as
>originating from a planet around a red star in the Constellation of Orion
>which
>we call Betelgeuse.
Crow: Say that twice more and there'll be trouble.
> They stated that their planet was dying and at some
>unknown
>future time they would no longer be able to survive there. This led to a
>second
>landing at Edwards Air Force Base. The historical event had been planned in
>Command:
>advance and the details of the treaty had been agreed upon. Eisenhower
>arranged
>to be in Palm Springs on vacation. On the appointed day the President was
>spirited away to the base and the excuse was given to the press that he was
>visiting a dentist.
Mike: Well isn't that conveeeeeeeeeeenient?
Crow: Would anyone fall for that lame excuse?
Tom: Why not? They watch Rush Limbaugh.
Crow: Oh yeah...
>President Eisenhower met with the aliens and a formal treaty between the
>Alien
>Nation and the United States of America was signed. We then received our
>first
>Command:
>Alien Ambassador from outer space. His name and title was His "Omnipotent
>Highn-
>ess Krlll", pronounced Krill.
Crow: Or "John Winston", pronounced boredom.
> In the American tradition of disdain for royal
>titles, he was secretly called "Orignal Hostage Krill". You should know that
>the
>alien flag is known as the "Trilateral Insignia".
All: Nooooooo!
Tom: He can't seriously be trying to suggest that the Trila
.
Continued in the next message...